


Give Me One More Night

by Rebelguitargirl2015



Category: The 100 (TV), clexa fandom
Genre: Angst, Cheating! AU, Clarke is an artist, Clexa is Endgame, F/F, F/M, Lexa owns her own bar, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-09-25 11:29:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 120,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9818378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebelguitargirl2015/pseuds/Rebelguitargirl2015
Summary: Clarke and Lexa have been sleeping together for a while. The only thing is: Clarke has been married for five years and has a daughter.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this story idea for a while and I can't get it out of my head so I'm going to go ahead and write it for you guys. This story is mostly Clexa. There will be a little Finn/Clarke but not a lot. This is a cheating fic and if that's not your cup of tea then I strongly recommend you don't read this.

_“Mmmm… Baby… Right there.”_ Clarke moaned as Lexa was currently eating her out with purpose. It was a little sloppy but Clarke didn’t mind one bit. Lexa was licking her just right and she never wanted her to stop. Lexa latched on to her clit while she slid two fingers into her, knuckle deep.

Clarke grabbed a fistful of Lexa’s hair and tugged. She loved afternoons like this where she could be as loud as she wanted because her husband was gone and her daughter was at school. Clarke knew she didn't have much time left though, she had to pick up her daughter from elementary school at 3:30 PM and it was currently 3:00 PM but she had no doubt that Lexa can finish her off in time. She always did.

Lexa twisted her fingers deep inside of her and curled up causing a loud moan to escape Clarke’s mouth. She wasn’t even trying to be quiet. She wanted Lexa to know how much she appreciated this and how well she’s giving it to her. Lexa started flicking her tongue against Clarke’s swollen clit, they’ve been going at this for over two hours now.

“You taste so good.” Lexa said as she made eye contact with Clarke. Clarke threw her head back and moaned, gripping Lexa’s hair harder as Lexa started attacking her clit with her tongue and mouth. Clarke wasn’t going to last much longer and soon she felt her stomach muscles start to tighten and her wall clenched down on Lexa’s fingers until she came.

 _“Oh, fuuck.”_ Clarke whined as Lexa helped her down from her orgasm. Once Clarke’s trembling started to subside, Lexa pulled her fingers out of wet heat and licked them dry.

“Damn, that was hot.” Clarke said as she brought Lexa in for a kiss and Lexa immediately deepened it, gripping onto Clarke’s thighs. Clarke felt Lexa’s hand trail back up her thigh, heading to a very specific spot. Normally, she would let Lexa do whatever she wanted but she was on short time. She pulled away from the kiss and looked at the clock, seeing that it was 3:10. If she doesn’t get her butt in her car and get down to her daughter’s school, she’ll be late to pick her up from kiss n’ ride.

“Not so fast,” Clarke said with a smirk and grabbed a hold of Lexa’s wrist. “I need to go pick up Samantha.” Lexa kissed Clarke on her collarbone and groaned.

“I suppose so.” Lexa said as she rose from her spot in between Clarke’s legs. Their clothes were thrown all over Clarke’s bedroom and Lexa went to go collect them. She dropped them into two separate piles. One was hers and the other was Clarke’s. Lexa quickly got dressed and so did Clarke.

“You could come with. You know Sam would be thrilled to see you.” Clarke said as she pulled on her shoes.

“Can’t. I’m working tonight. It’s my bar but when I bartend, I make hella tips,” Lexa said as she pulled her jacket on and looked over to Clarke. “Tell the squirt I said hi though.” Lexa said with a smile. She loved the relationship that she had with Samantha. She was such a sweet five-year old and she was so smart like her mom, not to mention, she looked just like Clarke. She even had the little mole above her upper lip just like Clarke.

“Finn wants to have a game night soon. Probably Friday.” Clarke informed her. It was only Wednesday.

“Oh, god. Those are always fun.” Lexa said with an eye-roll.

“They are!” Clarke playful swatted at her.

“Someone always goes home crying and your dad cheats!” Lexa exclaimed. Clarke gently pushed against Lexa and Lexa got the hint and started walking out of the room.

“Oh, wait!” Clarke said as she went over to grab the Febreze bottle and started spraying. “It smells like sex in here.” Clarke explained and Lexa smirked, she knew it did.

“You know Finn wants you to come.” Clarke said as she finished spraying and headed down the stairs with Lexa in tow.

“I don’t understand his obsession with me.” Lexa grumbled. Finn would always try to hang out with her and Lexa had been over to the Griffin-Collins residence many times but mostly for Clarke. Finn knows Lexa was Clarke’s best friend and he had taken a liking to her.

“He thinks you’re cool and you have to admit, you are. You drove your Harley here to have sex with me and you have badass tattoos.” Clarke pointed out as they neared Clarke’s brown wooden front door.

“He wouldn’t think so much of me if he knew I was sleeping with his wife.” Lexa whispered with a dirty smirk and Clarke swatted at her for real this time.

“Oh, hush you,” Clarke smirked back. “Seriously, come over Friday night. Everyone is going to be here, even my parents. I promise my dad won’t cheat.” Clarke said.

“You cheat too!" Lexa scolded as Clarke grabbed her keys and opened the door.

“It was one time. Will you ever let it go?!” Clarke said exasperatedly. Lexa rolled her eyes but she smiled. She loved the light banter between her and Clarke. Lexa started walking towards her motorcycle when Clarke called over to her.

“Call me tomorrow. I have a few paintings I have to tend to but I’d like to hear from you.” Clarke called as Lexa went to grab her helmet.

“Yeah, sure!” She called over her shoulder with a small smile before she put her helmet on. Clarke got into her car and drove away with Lexa right behind her but instead of turning right, she turned left to go home and get ready for her shift tonight.

* * *

Clarke pulled into her daughter's school and into the kiss n' ride. She was excited to see her little nugget, she always was. Samantha was like the splitting image of her but you could tell that she was Finn's daughter also. While Sam had Clarke's height and eyes and her little mole above her upper lip, she tended to make Finn's facial expressions more and had his brown hair too. You could definitely tell that she was Clarke and Finn's. Clarke would always be grateful to Finn that he made her a mother. They have been married for five years now. She got married at twenty-one and a few months after the wedding, Clarke got pregnant. Clarke had always wanted to be a mother and was actually happy when she got pregnant even though she was only twenty-one.

She had been friends with Lexa for about three years now, she met her at the same bar Lexa worker at now, Trikru. She was instantly attracted to Lexa. Clarke knew she had an attraction to both men and women at a very young age and was grateful that her parents had been so accepting of her sexuality. She tried to deny her attraction to Lexa and because of that it allowed Clarke to want to get to know her because she figured if she couldn't have her, they could at least be friends.

That didn't last long. They were friends for a good month or so before they slept together and they have been doing it ever since. Clarke had never really thought about stopping it. She's twenty-five years old and she's married and she knows she's having an affair but she didn't want to stop this, not even for a second. Clarke was interrupted with her thoughts when she saw her daughter bouncing happily over to her. Sam opened the door to the car and got into her car seat.

"Hi, mommy!" She smiled up at her with a tooth missing.

"Hey, baby girl!" Clarke said as Sam buckled herself in, Clarke didn't have to do it for her anymore. "How was school?"

"Good! I painted a picture in art today but I couldn't take it home. It has to dry." Sam explained happily and then got sad that she couldn't show her mommy what she drew. Sam seemed to be really interested in art and Clarke and Sam would often bond over it.

"Well, what is it?" Clarke asked as she drove away from her daughters school and headed home.

"You, me, daddy and Lexa." Sam said happily and Clarke almost slammed on her breaks at the mention of Lexa.

"Why did you draw Lexa, baby girl?"

"Because she is your best friend and one of my favorite people. That's what we had to draw- our favorite people. I ran out of room for Grammy and Grappy." Sam said with a shy smile.

"Oh, well, that's alright. I bet Lexa would be excited to know you picked her over your grandparents." Clarke said with a chuckle as she looked into the rear view mirror at her daughter.

"Can we go see her?" Sam asked with big, blue, puppy dog eyes.

"Not tonight," Clarke said apologetically. "She's working tonight. But you'll see her on Friday. That's three days from now." Clarke informed her daughter who squealed in response.

They drove the rest of the way in silence and when they got home, Sam immediately went to her play area, one room away from the kitchen. Clarke headed for the kitchen to get started on dinner.

"Do you have homework?" Clarke called from the kitchen.

"No!" Sam called back and it was probably true. It was only the beginning of the year and she just started kindergarten. Clarke was one of those moms who cried when she dropped her daughter off. Sam wasn't even crying when it happened, she was happy she was going.

Clarke nodded even though her daughter couldn't see her and got started on cooking dinner. She was going to make homemade chili and some cornbread. She knew how much Sam and Finn love it.

Clarke had just finished pulling the cornbread out of the over when Sam came into the kitchen.

"Mommy, I'm hungry." She said as she rubbed her belly and stared up at her.

"Dinner is almost done and we will eat when daddy gets home. He should be home-" Clarke was interrupted by the front door opening and Finn appearing in the kitchen.

"Sweet pea!" Finn exclaimed and Sam went running up to him.

"Daddy!" She screamed as she wrapped her little arms around his neck and then she looked over to Clarke.

"Daddy's here. Can we eat now?" Sam asked and Clarke chuckled.

"Yeah, go wash your hands for dinner." Clarke told her. Finn put her down and went over to Clarke.

"Hey, princess." Clarke mentally winced when he called her that. She hates that nickname. At first, it was cute but now it was just old. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and was glad that it wasn't on the mouth.

"How was your day?" He asked as he rubbed her arms up and down and Clarke shivered, not in the good way.

"Fine." Clarke said indifferently. After she dropped off Sam from school, she worked on a few paintings and then Lexa came over and they had sex all over their bed. Clarke wasn't about to tell Finn that though. "Yours?" She hummed out.

"It was good. I think we are finally gonna sell this product. We put so much effort-" Clarke knows she should probably be listening to what her husband was telling her but she wasn't listening at all. She was focused on making their plates and setting the table while Finn talked and got the drinks.

Sam emerged from the kitchen entrance and went to go sit down at her usual seat next to her mom, across from her dad. Sam talked most of dinner and _that_ Clarke listened too. Sam always seemed to just go on and on and when they finished up dinner, Finn went to go clean up while Clarke went upstairs to give Sam a bath.

Clarke tucked Sam after reading her a bedtime story and giving her a goodnight kiss and went to go into the master bedroom. She knew Finn was going to be in there and just prayed that he didn't smell anything that had transpired that afternoon. He looked normal, laying in bed clad in his PJ's and was watching TV. Clarke went to go take a quick shower before she got in bed and they fell asleep that night with Finn wrapping his arms around Clarke. Clarke couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to go to sleep wrapped up in Lexa's arms instead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support on this story. This story will be updated frequently, I won't keep you guys waiting to long between chapters. I want to clear a few things up. Clexa is mostly definitely end game and I'm not going to write any sex scenes between Finn and Clarke, I can't bring myself to do that but you guys will see in later chapters how Lexa and Clarke started sleeping together.

“Hey, you.” Clarke said into the phone after picking it up. She didn’t need to see who was calling, Finn hardly ever calls her during the day unless it’s an absolute emergency.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Lexa asked into the phone. From what Clarke could hear, it sounded like she was driving. Not her motorcycle, but her car.  

“Oh, you know, working on my paintings,” Clarke said passively. “I’m actually glad you called.” Clarke was sure to make her voice drop down an octave. She woke up this morning wet and a mind full of all of the dirty things she wanted Lexa to do to her.

“Oh, yeah? Why’s that?” Lexa taunted.

“What are you doing right now and where are you?” Clarke asked instead of answering.

“Coming home from the gym.”

“Come to my place.” Clarke suggested as she started to clean up her art studio that was across from the master bedroom.

“I’m all sweaty, Clarke.”

“We have a shower. Many, in fact.” Clarke said with a cheeky grin.

“Are you implying you want to have shower sex?” Lexa asked scandalously.

“How do you know, I didn’t just want to hang out and watch movies?" Clarke asked back.

“Oh, please, Clarke. Your sex drive has been through the roof.” Lexa admitted and Clarke supposed, she was right. She did wake up really wet and wanting to have sex. She even thought about having sex with Finn but it had been a long time since that happened and plus, he was long gone before she even woke up which meant she was stuck with Sam. Clarke forced herself not to think of such dirty thoughts around her daughter.

“This is true. How fast can you get here?”

“Ten minutes. Tops.” Lexa said and hung up the phone. Clarke went into her room and waited for Lexa.

* * *

 

 _"Fuck, fuck, fuck."_ Lexa was currently sitting on the built-in-bench that Clarke and Finn had installed in their shower. The water was dripping down Lexa's body and the shower water was beating off of Clarke's back as she was kneeling down between Lexa's legs.

Clarke had her legs spread wide and was sucking her clit into her mouth. Normally, Lexa would hold back and let out a few quiet moans here or there but she couldn't be quiet. Clarke was being absolutely restless today and wouldn't leave her pussy alone. The minute Lexa went upstairs looking for Clarke, she pinned her up against their bedroom door, lowered her gym shorts and shoved two fingers in her. Lexa was glad that she thought of Clarke on the way here because that had gotten her super wet.

They took it to the shower after Lexa had came hard around Clarke's fingers. Lexa was focused on getting clean and getting all the sweat off of her from her workout but it was hard to do when Clarke kept touching her inappropriately, sucking her nipples into her mouth, massaging her butt and sucking on her neck. Clarke had pushed Lexa down onto the bench after she got clean and started eating her out and she showed no signs of stopping.

 _"Ahh, fuck. Clarke."_ Clarke flicked her tongue over and over again against Lexa hard nub and pulled Lexa even closer to her.

Lexa was embarrassed by how fast her orgasm was approaching. Clarke hadn't even been down there for two minutes and she could already feel her walls clenching. Lexa laid a gentle hand in Clarke's hair and wrapped it around wet, blonde locks. Lexa could feel her orgasm approaching as Clarke lashed her tongue over her clit over and over again. Lexa squeezed her eyes shut tight and let out a loud moan that echoed off the walls.

 _"Oh, Claaarke."_ Clarke was lapping at the juices that were spilling out of Lexa at a fast pace. She tasted so good and she wanted more. Clarke quickly got up and turned Lexa around.

"Fuck.. What has gotten into you?" Lexa gasped as her face met the cold tile of the shower.

"Hopefully you later," Clarke purred into her ear. "Spread 'em." Clarke said as she shoved her thigh in between Lexa's legs. Clarke guided Lexa back onto her thigh and started rocking her hips. Lexa quickly caught on to what Clarke wanted her to do and started grinding on her thigh with ease, thanks to the water.

Lexa threw her head back into Clarke's shoulder as she grinded on Clarke's thigh and Clarke left open-mouthed kisses all over the side of her neck as she gripped her hips. She was careful not to leave any bite marks because Lexa wouldn't know how to explain that to any of their friends because as far as they know, she was single.

 _"Mmm."_ Lexa moaned softly as she stared to pick up the pace, rubbing herself back and forth on Clarke's thigh and Clarke moved with her.

"I'm not going to last much longer." Lexa whined out.

"That's okay. I want you to cum all over my thigh."

"F-fuck, Clarke." Lexa stuttered.

Clarke snuck her hand from Lexa's hip to her clit and started to rub fast, tight circles around it. Lexa's breath hitched at the added pressure and she shuddered. She was so close. Lexa came as she bit down on her bottom lip and trembled around Clarke's thigh.

"Shit. That was good." Lexa said as she removed herself from Clarke's thigh.

"Wasn't it?"

"I'm liking this whole spike to your sex drive not that you didn't have it before but you've been very needy when it comes to sexy times lately." Lexa pointed out as they quickly washed off again and got out of the shower.

"Well, you're never around at night and we hang out a lot but that's always with Finn and Sam around. It's not like we can hook up with them in the house." Clarke said back.

"This is true," They both dried off quickly and Lexa remembered that she didn't bring any clothes with her. "Can I borrow some of your clothes? Someone was a little needy and didn't want me to go home first." Lexa chided and Clarke stuck her tongue out at her.

"Yeah, sure."

They both got dressed in some leggings and baggy shirts. It was yet again 3:00 in the afternoon and Clarke would have to leave soon to get Sam but before she did, they went downstairs for a late snack. They opted for some cookies Clarke made on Monday night just because she was in the mood to bake them, it was oddly right after Lexa had left after a morning quickie.

"So, I've been thinking.." Clarke started as Lexa took a bite of the chocolate chip cookie.

"Oh, god," Lexa teased and Clarke playful glared at her. "Kidding." Lexa held her hands up in surrender.

"I sell my paintings for a good price and it keeps a roof over my head not to mention Finn is doing good but I want more. I think I want to open an art gallery and really get my paintings out there. With an art gallery I could make more than I am now." Clarke explained, seemingly lost in her own thought.

"That sounds like a great idea." Lexa said as she finished her cookie. She knew how much art meant to Clarke and if she opened up an art gallery, she knew it would make her best friend happy.

"Finn doesn't think so." Clarke said flat-toned.

"Why?" Lexa asked confused.

"He likes that I'm technically," Clarke put air quotes around technically. "A stay-at-home mom. I work from home. I have an art studio but it's in my house. With an art gallery, I would be out more. Probably working more hours than I do now. I'd be at the gallery all day. He wants me home."

"I'm sorry. But, that's stupid. If this is what you want, you should do it," Lexa paused before talking again. "If you were with me, I'd be all for it. Fuck that stay-at-home mom bullshit." Lexa said trying to sound indifferent and Clarke's heart leaped in her chest. How she wished some things would change.

"I don't know. It would cause a big argument. We've talked about it a little bit but not a lot." Clarke said, trying to skip over what Lexa just suggested.

"Maybe you should" Lexa said while looking at her. "I should go so you can get Sam. Gimme me a kiss." Lexa puckered her lips out. Clarke rolled her eyes but obeyed, giving Lexa a sweet kiss on the lips and pulled back with a smile.

"I'll see you and Squirt on Friday." Lexa said as she headed outside to her car.

* * *

 

"No, that's not fair!" Jasper Jordon yelled while everyone else agreed with him.

"I saw it fair and square. You cheated!" Lexa yelled at Jake Griffin.

"You always win. Let someone else win." Monty Green whined

"That's because he cheats. I don't know how he does it but he does." Lexa pointed a finger at Jake.

"You guys are to invested in this game." Octavia Blake said with a small smile. "It's just UNO."

"Yeah, to you." Lincoln Black said to his girlfriend.

Lexa was getting ready to respond again but she caught Clarke's eye. She discreetly motioned towards the kitchen through all the bickering and Lexa was glad that no one noticed. Lexa cleared her throat and excused herself, precisely five minutes after Clarke left.

"I love it when you wear your leather jackets. It's so hot." Clarke whispered into sweet kisses. Lexa had her pinned up against the counter. They were playing a dangerous game, they knew they could get caught at any moment. No one was in the kitchen, everyone was out in the family room bickering over the game of UNO they just played.

Clarke was getting ready to lean in for another kiss when Sam appeared at the door. Clarke's eyes widened a little bit and she shoved Lexa away from her to create some space between them.

"Hey, sweetie. What's up?" Clarke said breathlessly.

"Did you see anything?" Lexa blurted out and Clakre glared at her.

"No. You and my mommy were talking like you always do." Sam walked further into the kitchen and they both relaxed visibly.

"I came to find Lexa!" Sam said as she held her arms up for Lexa to pick her up. Lexa bent down and scooped the little girl up. Sam placed a sweet but sloppy kiss on Lexa's cheek and Clarke's heart melted at the sight. Sam had taken a liking to Lexa more so than Octavia and Raven and they are also two people she was always around.

"Well, what can I do you for Squirt?" Lexa asked with a grin.

"I wanna play dolls. Will you play with me?" She asked with big blue eyes. Something Clarke also did when she wanted Lexa to do something for her too. They both know she was weak when it came to those eyes. Lexa didn't know why she looked over to Clarke but they were in the middle of something before Sam interrupted. Clarke nodded her head softly.

"Well, I would be delighted." Lexa said as she carried Sam out of the kitchen with Clarke behind her. Lexa looked back at Clarke once more to see her taking a seat by her dad.

"Hey, Lexa, where are you going?" Anya asked.

"To play dolls with Squirt." Lexa didn't know why she called Sam that but Sam liked it and it was her nickname for her. No one else dared to call Sam squirt but Lexa.

"Fine, you can get out a this game." Anya said with an eye-roll.

"Glad to. I know some people like to cheat." Lexa directed her statement to Jake to which he stuck his tongue out at her.

"Lexa, come on." Sam whined into her ear. Lexa got a move on it and headed to Sam's play room.

* * *

 

It was some time later and Lexa currently found herself sandwiched between a play kitchen and a doll house. Sam was resting in her lap and she didn't want to move even though she was extremely uncomfortable.

"Oh, here she is." Finn said as she appeared in Sam's play room.

"Yeah, she fell asleep." Lexa said softly and Finn quickly rushed over to her to take Sam off of Lexa's lap so she could get up.

"Thanks for staying with her. You're so good with her. Everyone is kind of leaving," Finn wasn't saying that as some sort of dismissal, he was just informing her. "I say, once everyone leaves, we let the real game night begin and play some Call of Duty." Lexa liked that idea. She'd do anything to kick his butt. Finn was carrying Sam out of the room when she woke up.

"Wait!" She said sleepily. Finn stopped walking and she looked over to Lexa.

"Are you coming to my soccer game tomorrow?" She asked with sleepy eyes. Sam just joined the soccer team and her first game was tomorrow. She was quite good at it.

"I would miss it for the world, Squirt." Lexa said with a smile and Sam grinned up at her.

"Yay!" She said with as much energy as she could.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." Finn went upstairs to tuck Sam in and Lexa went into the kitchen. It was just Clarke in there, everyone really did go home. Lexa walked up slowly to her and placed a small kiss on the side of her head.

"Hey." Lexa sighed.

"Hey, you." Clarke cooed back with a smile.

"Your hubby wants me to stay over so I can kick his butt. But I can leave If you want." Lexa suggested.

"No, please. Let him play some games with you, that's all he talks about and it's only 9:30." Clarke assured her.

"I don't want it to be awkward." Lexa said softly. Clarke turned away from putting the food away and looked up at Lexa.

"It's not. Now, give me a kiss before he comes back." Clarke said as she leaned up into Lexa. Lexa planted a soft kiss on her lips and Clarke sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. Lexa let out a soft moan and wanted to deepen it but she knew Finn would down here any second. She slowly pulled away.

"You're coming to her game right?" Clarke asked.

"Mhm. Anya is even making me take signs. You won't miss us." Lexa said with a grimace.

"That's cute of her."

They heard Finn coming down the stairs and quickly untangled from each other.

"Yo, ready to get  your ass beat." Finn said upon entering the kitchen.

"More like your ass." Lexa said back and smirked as they walked out of the kitchen and into the family room. Lexa didn't leave the kitchen until she looked back at Clarke and winked. Clarke gave her a soft smile back.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Lexa got out of her car and went to the trunk to get the foldable chairs out. She picked up Anya from her apartment and drove down to Sam’s game with her. Anya pulled out the ridiculously huge signs they made the other night. One of them said ‘Good Luck Squirt’ in big black words with a dark blue background. And the other one said ‘You all can suck it, Sam’s the best.’ It was over the top and so Anya-like.

“Have you talked to mom?” Anya asked as she closed the door. Lexa blew out a breath. Her and Anya were raised in the same foster home since they were seventeen and they became quick friends, seeming as it was only the two of them that got adopted. Anya quickly became like a sister to Lexa.

“Nope.”

“I can tell. She calls me to know things about you,” Anya said annoyed. “Just talk to her.”

“No.” Lexa growled.

“She didn’t know about the deal. No one did Lexa. It happened so fast, I understand that but mom had nothing to do with it. She would never do that. It was Nia's fault-" Anya didn’t get to finish her sentence before Lexa turned on her.

“I’m not talking about this right now. I want to enjoy Sam’s game. I will not talk about this.” Lexa growled.

“Fine, okay. I’m sorry.” Anya backed off when she saw the anger in her eyes and Lexa relaxed a little. She didn’t want to think about her mom. She didn’t want to think about Nia and she definitely didn’t want to think about Costia.

They made their way onto the field and in search of Sam and the rest of their friends. Lexa sought out Clarke immediately, it was hard not to. They walked over to where Sam would be playing and set their stuff down.  But before Lexa could greet anyone, she saw a blur of brown hair running towards her.

“Lexa!” The little girl screamed and she was sure people could hear that all the way in Asia. Sam definitely had a pair of lungs on her.

“Squirt!”

Sam was practicing her shots when she saw Lexa arrive. She quickly left her dad and rushed over to her. Lexa opened her arms wide and she jumped into them.

“Wow, everyone is really here.” Lexa noticed Octavia holding up a sign that said ‘Hot for the Coach’. It was extremely inappropriate but she was sure these kids had no idea what she was talking about. It was a last-minute decision for Lincoln to coach Sam’s team. Lincoln had always been into soccer and so had Lexa, that’s how Lexa would really bond with Sam. The coach that who supposed to be here, ended up taking a two-month long trip to Italy and when Lincoln found out the news, he quickly took up the job.

Sam wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck and squeezed. Lexa coughed a bit because Sam was holding her so tight.

“Easy there, babe. She needs to breath,” Clarke said as she walked over to them. “Hey, Lexa.” Clarke brought Lexa in for a hug with the arm she wasn’t using to carry Sam. Oddly, Lexa felt like this was the way things should be, holding her two girls. Clarke pulled away and Lexa set Sam down but she clung to her leg.

“You gonna score some goals?” Lexa asked and Sam nodded excitedly.

“Yes!”

“Babe, go back over to your dad and get some more shots in before the game starts.” Clarke said and she obeyed.

Clarke and Lexa walked over to the fence that separated the audience from the field. Lexa leaned against it and Clarke faced her.

“Did you talk to Finn?” Lexa asked as she watched Sam run around with him.

“No, I don’t know what to say.” Clarke said honestly.

“That you want this and maybe we can even go looking for spaces you can rent out. We live right on the outskirts of the D.C. We might have to go into the city but I’m sure we can find a place.” Lexa said as she looked over to Clarke.

“Would you really do that with me?” Clarke asked with wide eyes.

“Of course, we should already get you a space. Then you should talk to Finn and if he shuts it down, you can say he can’t because we already have a space for it. I can help you set it all up.” Lexa said but they both knew that was wishful thinking.

“That would be nice,” Clarke said. “I should talk to him first.” The game was starting as Finn ran over to Clarke.

“She looks so cute in her uniform.” Finn said with a sigh and he was right. She looked so small wearing her uniform, even with her cleats on. The colors were green and black.

“Let’s go sit down.” Finn placed a hand on Clarke’s lower back and Lexa almost smacked it away, before she realized that Clarke wasn't  hers and she would be out of line if she did that. Lexa settled for clenching her jaw and heading over to where Anya was and sat down to watch Sam.

They were winning for the most part. Sam hadn't scored any goals yet, but Lexa was barely watching the game, which she felt guilty for but for some reason Finn was all over Clarke today. She watched as Clarke went to go sit down next to Finn on the bleachers but he pulled her down into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. He would plant kisses to her cheek here and there and Lexa had to force herself to watch the game instead of them.

When the game was over, Sam scored the winning goal to which they all cheered for, she ran over to Lexa.

“Did you see that? Did you see that?” Sam asked excitedly as she hopped up and down.

“I did!” Lexa said back. “Did you see my sign?” Lexa asked, holding it out to her.

“I can read some but not a lot.” Sam said sadly as she looked over the words she couldn’t comprehend.

“Well I’ll help you. It says ‘Good’.” Lexa pointed at the word as Sam repeated her. “’Luck.” Lexa pointed at the second word and Sam copied her. “’Squirt.” She pointed to the last word and Sam repeated her and gasp when she did.

“That’s me!”

“It is.” Sam lifted her arms up for Lexa to pick her up at the same time Clarke and Finn walked over to her.

“What are we, chopped liver?” Finn teased.

“Yeah, what I am, chopped liver?” Anya then asked after folding their chairs up.

“If it’s anyone who’s getting a hug from Sam, it’s me.” Octavia chimed in and Sam held onto Lexa tighter.

“No, it’s definitely me.” Raven butted in.

“No!” Sam screamed which shocked them all. “I want Lexa!” Lexa looked at all of them apologetically, not really knowing what to do. She then tried to set Sam down but she wouldn’t let her.

“Hey, why don’t we get some ice cream?” Finn asked as he tried to rub her daughters back affectionately.

“You love ice cream.” Lexa said, trying to clear the tension around all of them.

“Will you come with us?” Sam whispered in her ear. Lexa looked over to Finn and Clarke and couldn’t help but notice that they were holding hands.

“Not this time, Squirt.” Sam then started to burst into tears and Lexa really had no idea what to do.

“We’ll come with you!” Abby said from a distance as she and Jake neared.

“No! I want Lexa!” Sam sobbed and Lexa wasn’t quite sure where this possessive behavior was coming from. Sam usually didn't act like this, she had no idea what’s come over her.

“Samantha! Cut it out right now,” Clarke demanded as she let go of Finn’s hand to walk over to her daughter. She pried her out of Lexa's arms and set her down. “You apologize to everyone here now.” Clarke demanded again.

“Sorry.” Sam said sadly.

“I wish I could come with you Squirt but I have to work tonight.” Lexa said, she didn’t think Sam would react that way.

“We should get going.” Finn said to Sam and everyone agreed.

“You did so good coaching baby!” Lexa heard Octavia yell as she headed towards the field instead of the parking lot with the rest of them.

“Say goodbye to Lexa.” Finn said to Sam and she walked over to Lexa who was putting the signs into the car and hugged her around her legs, she wasn’t quite tall enough to reach her hips.

“Bye, Lexa.” Sam said sadly and Lexa’s heart broke a little bit. She didn’t want to leave Sam like this but she has a bar to run.

“I’ll see you soon.” Lexa promised as she kissed the top of her head as she said bye to the rest of them and got into the car with Anya.

* * *

Clarke got into the car after they got some ice cream, Sam only got one scoop instead of two because of how she acted that afternoon. Clarke was thinking more and more about this art gallery and was thinking of brining it up to Finn when they got home. She knew Sam would go off into her play room, so she was hoping to get him alone to talk. He had been rather affectionate this afternoon and seemed to be in a good mood. Not that he wasn't always in a good mood, Clarke just knew this subject would put him in a bad one.

When they got home, she told Sam that she needed to come upstairs and change out of her soccer uniform and into some regular clothes and Sam just opted for playing in her room instead of her play room. Clarke asked Finn if they could talk and they went into their room, closing the door behind them.

"I was thinking more and more about this art gallery." Clarke started out, taking a seat on the bed.

"Clarke." Finn sighed annoyed.

"I don't get why you are so against it. You're suppose to be my husband and yet you don't support me. You know, I talked to Lexa and she thinks it's a great idea." Clarke said angrily.

"What if it fails?" Finn asked. "You'd be spending all your money into something that's not going to work."

"You don't know what I'm going to do and how this is going to end. I want to do this, Finn. I feel like I could be successful with it. You see how many of my painting I sell a day. Not even in a week. A whole day and I can get twenty sells. So don't tell me it's not going to work. Why are you such a dick?" Clarke regretted that the minute it came out but it was to late to take it back. She saw the hurt flash across Finn's face but then decided that she wasn't going to feel sorry for him. She wasn't in the wrong here, he was.

"Why won't you let me do this?" Clarke asked softly.

"You can do whatever you want but it's more convenient for you to stay here, so you could be close to Sam if she needs us. I work in the city and no doubt, you'd probably get a studio in the city too. You are so available with your job now. Why are you trying to change that?" Finn asked desperately.

"Because I want more!" Clarke shouted. "This isn't cutting it anymore." Clarke wanted to laugh at the dark underline meaning to her words.

"I'm going on a business trip next week and I'm not nearly prepared for it. Can we talk about this later?" Finn huffed as he went to grab his briefcase and Clarke decided that she wasn't going to sit here and agrue with him.

"Fine." She grumbled and went downstairs, thankful that her shouting didn't disrupt Sam. She didn't mean to shout with her on the same floor but Finn was being stupid. She grabbed her phone on the way out and she went downstairs and into the bathroom, down the hall from the kitchen.

"Hello?" Clarke sighed at the soft voice that floated through her phone. Lexa always had a way of calming her down.

"Hey." She said more forcefully than she intended.

"You okay?" Lexa asked and she sounded like she genuinely cared for her and Clarke was grateful for it.

"Finn's being an ass," Clarke said through gritted teeth. "We got nowhere with the whole art gallery situation."

"I'm sorry Clarke. I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you into talking about it with him."

"This was my idea to bring it up to him multiple times only for him to shut it down. You were just trying to help. I would have done this even if you didn't say anything about it." Clarke chuckled.

"Yes, because I know how stubborn you can be." Lexa drawled out.

"Hey, but listen, I wanted to talk to you about something." Clarke asked.

"What's up?" Lexa asked curiously.

"Finn is going out on a business trip next weekend. He'll be gone the whole weekend," Clarke started and Lexa hummed into the phone. "I was just wondering if you wanted to come over next weekend."

"What about Sam?" Lexa asked.

"Sam will be with her grandparents." Clarke said with a smile.

"Really? A whole weekend to ourselves?" Lexa asked in disbelief. It had never really happened between them. It was hard too. Finn didn't go on many business trips and one time he did and Clarke invited Lexa over but Sam was over. They were so worried the whole night that they might get caught so they decided to just not sleep together that time.

"I know," Clarke sighed into the phone. "I really need this. I need you." Clarke confessed.

"It would be nice. I'm totally in." Lexa agreed.

"You know what you should bring?" Clarke asked.

"What?"

"Your strap-on." Clarke whispered. She knew Finn was upstairs working and Sam was playing in her room but she feared that they could hear her. She heard Lexa gasp into the phone. They had sex with the strap-on a couple of times but it was easier to not bring it because there was that one awkward time that Lexa left it in her bedroom and she had to hide it from Finn the whole weekend. After  that whole situation, they didn't really use it as much. Lexa's stomach twisted just thinking about all the things she could do with it.

"I will." Lexa promised into the phone.

"Great, see you next weekend."

"Bye, Clarke."

"Bye, Lex."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all Clexa so enjoy!

“Is the coast clear?” Lexa asked into the phone. She had just finished packing her overnight bag to spend the weekend with Clarke. She was excited, it had been a while since they hooked up last and Lexa couldn’t wait to get her hands on Clarke.

“Yup. I just dropped off Sam, heading back home now.” Clarke answered. Lexa hummed into the phone and picked her bag up.

“Alright, I’m heading over now.” Lexa informed her.

“Okay, see you then.”

* * *

 

Lexa was greeted to open mouthed kisses when she walked into Clarke's house. Clarke bit down on her bottom lip as she took her jacket off.

“Whoa, Clarke. Let me close the door first.” Lexa said. Clarke pulled away because she was right, she didn't want any of her neighbors accidently seeing them.

“We can order some food if you like and make out until it gets here.” Clarke said with a smirk and Lexa liked that idea.

“We can go upstairs.” Lexa suggested and Clarke nodded. There were pictures off Clarke and Finn on their wedding day and for some reason, Lexa felt a little guilty but she quickly brushed that feeling off as she watched Clarke walk up the stairs.

She put her things down in the room and waited for Clarke to finish up ordering the pizza. When she was done, Clarke crawled onto the bed and patted her thigh. Lexa immediately went over and straddle her hips. Clarke pulled her in for a hug, resting her head against her chest.

“Oh, my god. I missed you. It’s been too long since we’ve had sex.” Clarke sighed dramatically. Lexa let out a little chuckle but she didn’t say anything but she silently agreed as she kissed Clarke’s neck. She trailed kisses up her neck until she got to her jaw and bit down. Clarke gasped not excepting that action.

“Not too hard.” Clarke moaned out and Lexa nodded against her before their lips met. Their lips slid together as Lexa started grinding down on Clarke.

“Wait.” Clarke said as she pulled back. The only light on in the room was the lamp. It was currently seven in the evening and it was dark out. Once Clarke turned the lamp off, the room was pitch black aside from the moonlight that twinkled through her curtains.

Clarke slid down the bed into laying position and Lexa followed her. Lexa got comfortable on top of Clarke and leaned back down for a kiss. Clarke immediately deepened the kiss and slid her tongue into her mouth. Lexa's lips wrapped around her tongue and sucked, causing Clarke to whine. Lexa unwrapped her lips from her tongue after sucking a few times and collided her tongue with Clarke’s and Lexa couldn’t help but groan. Clarke tasted sweet and minty. They fought for dominance for a while before Lexa was forced to break the kiss in order for some air. Clarke undid Lexa’s belt buckle and unzipped her pants as Lexa took her own shirt off. They quickly met for another kiss and Clarke slid her hand in Lexa’s pants. Lexa started panting in anticipation for what was about to happen. She couldn’t wait for Clarke to touch her and Clarke was getting ready to slide her hand in her panties when the door bell rung. Lexa pulled away with a loud groan and so did Clarke.

“God dammit!” Clarke cursed as Lexa got off of her and Clarke turned the lamp back on. Lexa quickly put her shirt back on and did her pants back up. They both went downstairs to get the pizza and pay the pizza boy. They walked into the kitchen with the pizza and sat down at the dinner table.

“At least we get pizza.” Lexa reasoned.

“I’m hungry. But, I want to fuck you instead.” Clarke said back immediately.

“After we eat.” Lexa promised.

They ate at a fast pace and at one point Lexa even chocked on her slice of pizza by how fast she was shoving it into her mouth. Clarke had laughed at that and Lexa glared at her. Clarke couldn’t talk though because she was eating just as fast as Lexa. When they were finished, they both looked at each other and smiled.

“Did you bring the goods?” Clarke asked as she wiped her mouth.

“I did. It’s in my bag upstairs.” Lexa said knowing that Clarke was referring to the strap-on.

“Well, let’s get to it.” Clarke said as she got up and dragged Lexa back upstairs.

* * *

 

 _“_ Oh, don’t stop. _”_ Clarke moaned out as Lexa grinded against her. Lexa’s pussy was smooth, hot and wet against her own and it felt so good every time Lexa rocked into her. Lexa had her hands on either side of Clarke’s head as she grinded down faster into her, feeling her own orgasm approach.

 _“_ You feel so good,” Clarke whined as she grabbed a hold of Lexa’s boobs and squeezed.

 _“_ You look so hot grinding on top of me.” Clarke whispered. Lexa was grinding so fast that the bed was starting to move with every thrust she made. She watched as Clarke threw her head back and cried out. Lexa was getting ready to lean down and kiss her, when Clarke’s phone went off.

“Are you serious?” Lexa whined as she forced herself to slow down. “Who is it?”

Clarke was gasping for breath when she grabbed her phone. Her face paled when she saw who was calling.

“It’s Finn.” Clarke said in a hush tone even though it was only them in the room. Lexa thought about getting off of Clarke so she could talk to her husband but then thought better of it. She started to slowly move into her again and Clarke let out a strangled moan.

“Answer it.” Lexa demanded. Clarke looked like she was about to say no, but she swiped her phone to answer it, while locking eyes with Lexa. Lexa was thrusting into her when she thought of an idea. It was a dangerous one but she didn’t want to wait any longer, how dare Finn interrupt their sex.

Lexa removed herself from Clarke and Clarke looked grateful for it. Lexa heard Clarke talking to Finn about how his flight went before she started trailing kisses down her body to her destination in between her legs. Lexa looked up at Clarke for permission and Clarke wanted her to, even though she was on the phone with her husband. Clarke looked her in the eye and nodded. Lexa slowly but surely moved forward and licked through Clarke folds, moaning lowly at the taste of her. Clarke threw her head back and bit her lip to keep any noise from coming out.

“Do you need me to pick you up from the airport?” Lexa heard Clarke ask through gritted teeth as she made her way up to her clit.

“Yeah, that should be no problem- _fuck!”_ Clarke shouted when Lexa wrapped her lips around her clit and sucked.

“No, no. I’m fine,” Clarke breathed and Lexa chuckled darkly as she circled Clarke’s clit. “I just dropped something is all. Finn, I’m in the middle of cooking. Can I call you back later?” Clarke asked in a rush as Lexa slid a finger in her and Clarke had to bite back a moan.

“Okay, bye.” Lexa heard as Clarke hung up the phone and threw it off to the side. She grabbed a hold of Lexa and pulled her up.

“That was mean.” Clarke pouted.

“It’s not like you were going to stop me.” Lexa said cockily.

“No, I wasn’t.” Clarke said as she looked down to Lexa’s lips.

“How’s the hubby?” Lexa teased as she leaned in to kiss Clarke between her breasts.

“He’s fine,” Clarke gasped as Lexa sucked a kiss against her side boob. “He just landed,” Lexa sucked her nipple in her mouth. “He wanted to see- Oh, fuck it! And just kiss me.” Clarke demanded as she grabbed a hold of Lexa’s face again and pulled her down for a kiss. Lexa sucked Clarke’s bottom lip in her mouth desperately and positioned herself in between Clarke’s legs again and started to rock forward. Clarke was _wet_ and _hot_ and Lexa was loving it.

 _“_ Ahh.”

Clarke moaned as Lexa rolled her clit into hers over and over again. Clarke held Lexa close, she didn’t want her stop and she hoped that they wouldn’t get interrupted again. Clarke started thrusting up every time Lexa thrusted down and she was so worked up that she knew she was going to cum.

Lexa was the first to break. She planted her hands down by Clarke’s sides and her mouth formed the perfect ‘o’ before she let out a long moan. Clarke didn’t last much longer after that. After a few sloppy thrust up into Lexa, she came with Lexa kissing up her neck. They were both breathing hard when Lexa went to go lay down next to her.

“Up for another round?” Lexa asked. Clarke nodded with a happy smile on her face.

“Go get the strap-on.” Clarke suggested and Lexa got up and made her way to her bag. She quickly put it on and tightened the straps. She brought a bottle of lube even though she knew she wasn’t going to need it but she wanted to take Clarke fast and hard so she put a little on, rubbing it in, while making her way over to Clarke.

“Turn around.” Lexa demanded and Clarke got on all fours, her ass sticking out. Lexa gave a long lick through her folds, causing Clarke to gasp before she lined up the didlo to her entrance.

“Are you ready?” Lexa asked softly and Clarke nodded.

“Yes.”

Lexa slowly thrusted in, giving Clarke time to adjust. Lexa placed her hips on Clarke’s milky white skin and pulled her close, bottoming out into her.

 _“F-fuck.”_ Clarke stuttered out as Lexa leaned down to kiss her backside as she started moving into her. She moved her hips in figure eights before thrusting hard into her. Clarke had her arms out in front of her to hold herself up as Lexa took her from behind. They didn't get to do this often and Clarke was loving it. Clarke was at the end of the bed on all fours and Lexa was standing behind her, moving inside of her.

Lexa thrusted in slowly once more before she planted her feet apart and started plowing into Clarke.

 _“_ Ohh.” Clarke cried out. Lexa lightly scratched down Clarke’s back and was grunting with each thrust. There was sweat starting to form against her brow but she didn’t care. The only thing she cared about was being with Clarke. Lexa pushed Clarke’s legs even further apart for better access and she slipped deeper into her. Lexa would give anything to actually be able to feel how deep she was right now. Clarke was a moaning mess as Lexa picked up her pace but she actually wanted to see Clarke cum so she quickly pulled out of her and turned her around. Lexa crawled up on the bed and positioned herself in between Clarke's  legs. Before Clarke could say anything, Lexa slipped back into her and started pounding into her.

Clarke wrapped her legs around Lexa’s back and pulled her close. She brought her in for a kiss as Lexa held herself up so she wasn’t crushing Clarke.

 _“_ Fuck me.” Clarke whined as Lexa hit her deepest spots. Clarke had one hand wrapped around Lexa’s bicep and the other clawed at her bed sheets. She can feel herself nearing the end of her orgasm and it wouldn’t be too long until she exploded. Lexa rested her forehead against Clarke’s as she looked down to see the toy sliding in and out of Clarke, glistening with her wetness. Lexa was starting to get tired but she wasn’t going to stop, she could tell that Clarke was close and she wasn’t going to stop until she was cumming beneath her.

 _“_ Ahh… Mmmm… Ohh… Fuck, Lexa, I’m going to-” Clarke threw her head back and let out the loudest moan Lexa was sure her neighbors could probably hear. Clarke’s body locked up around her own as Clarke grabbed a hold of Lexa.

 _“Fuuuck. Fuck.”_ Clarke wailed as she rode out her orgasm. Lexa thrusted in a few more times, bringing Clarke down from her orgasm.

“That was so hot.” Lexa said as she slipped out of Clarke and took the strap-on off. Clarke didn’t respond verbally but nodded her head as she was still gasping for breath. Lexa got under the covers and Clarke followed her. They cuddled up to each other even though they were both sweaty.

It was silent for a while before Lexa spoke.

“Do you ever wonder what it would be like?” She asked softly. Clarke looked up at her and saw Lexa’s nervous expression. They both knew what she was referring too.

“I mean, it would be easier. At least, for me.” Clarke said as she rubbed her foot against Lexa’s leg.

“So, you think about it?” Lexa asked with a shy smile as she snuggled her head into Clarke’s blonde locks.

“Of course, I do. But like that doesn’t mean I don’t feel guilty. I think I’m allowed to feel that way.” Clarke said quietly.

“I never said that you didn’t have to feel guilty. Sometimes, I feel guilty.” Lexa admitted.

“I just think about Sam. I mean, I’ve been married for five years and I’ve been cheating for three of them.” Clarke reasoned. She didn't  like to think about what she’s doing. She didn't like to talk about it either but it was bound to come up, if they were going to spend a whole weekend together.

“I just wanted to know your thoughts when it came to us,” Lexa said. “If this was another life. Do you think we would be together?”

“Of course, I think that,” And a part of Lexa got happy until she realized that this was a different life and she would never truly get to be with Clarke. “I still feel bad though because of Sam. She would be old enough to understand what is happening and stuff and I know this will probably get really bad. Finn would be pissed if he found out and the holidays are coming up and we would have to deal with possible divorces papers and court and I don’t want to put Sam through that.”

“I’m not saying we come out and say we are cheating. We can keep this going for as long as you want because I don’t want to stop.”

“Me neither.” Clarke knew their situation was complicated and was glad that Lexa seemed okay with it. She knew it would never be perfect and she knew that at some point this was all going to get to a point where it was too much, but she didn't want to think about ending what they have. Clarke only really felt happy in the presence of Sam and Lexa.

Lexa leaned down to kiss her when she saw that she was deep in thought. Lexa knew very well what Clarke was thinking because she thought about it all the time. This kiss said everything they couldn’t to each other and Lexa moaned into it before she pulled away.

“I want pizza.” Lexa declared and Clarke chuckled at her.

“You are a pizza-eating machine.” She teased.

“No, I’m a pussy-eating machine.” At that Clarke broke out into a full laughter as Lexa smiled, thinking Clarke looked so beautiful when she laughed.

“That was a good one. Now, go get your pizza.” Clarke playful swatted at her.

* * *

 

 _“_ Oh, my god,” Lexa groaned out. _“_ That feels so good.”

Clarke was currently sitting on Lexa’s back and massaging her, trying to get all the knots out.

“For someone who is their own boss, you sure are tense.” Clarke said.

“I knew you were good with your hands.” Lexa groaned again. Clarke smirked and leaned down to kiss her shoulder.

“Do you want me to keep going?” She asked.

“Yes! Don’t stop.” Lexa whined.

“Play your cards right and you’ll be moaning that later.” Clarke purred and Lexa chuckled darkly.

“I think I want to go look for a space for my gallery.” Clarke said seriously as she rubbed at Lexa’s shoulders.

“Really?” Lexa asked in surprise.

“Yeah, I mean, Finn isn’t here to tell me no and I figured I’d take you up on that offer.” Clarke rubbed her hands down Lexa’s toned back and placed another kiss to her shoulder and then to the back of her neck. She loved that she could be so free with her right now. Usually, it’s rushed hook-ups but right now, they could take their time doing whatever they want and Clarke was taking full advantage of that.

“Okay. We can go tomorrow.” Lexa suggested.

“You know, my mom is going to host another family dinner, probably next week.” At that Lexa groaned and not just because Clarke hit a particularly sensitive spot in her back. She loved Abby and Jake and she loved her friends but she hated, _absolutely hated_ sitting there for who knows how long with a fake smile on her face watching Clarke and Finn be disgustingly cute. Of course, Clarke didn't know that. Lexa told her it’s because they always play the same games and they always fight over it, it was like an extension of game night that you can’t get out of.

While that was true for Lexa, the reason she didn’t want to go is because she didn’t want to see Clarke cuddled up with someone else. Clarke always made a point to play the perfect wife when she was in the company of others and while Lexa can understand that, she hated it. But, she wouldn't tell Clarke that.

“Oh, come on. I can tell my dad to get out new games this time.” Clarke purred into her ear.

“We would still fight. I vote to install cameras under the table so we can catch your dad in action.” Lexa said back as she turned over. Clarke was met with a shirtless Lexa and she zeroed in on Lexa’s perky breasts.

“I bet you would like that. You know you aren’t getting out of this. My mom would drag you from your loft.” Clarke said, but she wasn’t looking Lexa in the eye. She was looking at her breasts. Clarke was always a boob woman.

“I know.” Lexa grumbled cutely and Clarke couldn’t hold back anymore. She leaned down and took one of Lexa’s nipples in her mouth and sucked. Lexa wrapped her hands in Clarke’s hair and arched her back, giving her more room. Clarke sucked the side of Lexa’s boob and pulled away satisfied when she saw a dark purple bruise forming. Lexa looked down to see what Clarke was smirking at. Her eyes widened upon seeing the new-found hickey.

“Clarke!” Lexa exclaimed.

“What? I can’t get hickeys from you but I can give you hickeys, just not on your neck.” Lexa huffed at that even though she wasn’t mad. How could she be when she had such a beautiful girl sitting on top of her?

“And I’m sorry if I got you worked up. I am nowhere near ready for another round yet. You completely wore me out.” Clarke said and this time Lexa smirked.

“It’s fine. We should sleep, I’m totally taking you into the city tomorrow to look for spaces.” Lexa said and Clarke got off of her.

Clarke got to experience what it would feel like if she fell asleep next to Lexa instead of Finn and she had to say, she loved it.

* * *

 

“Oh, what about this one?” Lexa asked as they approached another empty space for rent. It was smack-dabbed in the middle of the city and Clarke was wondering how she was going to commute everyday back and forth on top of dropping Sam to and from school. There were a few spaces closer to where she lived but they just weren’t right for her and Lexa seemed to sense that, immediately taking her to a different spot.

This building the store was in was covered in graffiti and Clarke appreciated the art. It didn’t look trashy at all, in fact, it looked just right. The building still looked new, covered in red bricks. The space was all one floor, where her gallery would be then an upstairs where her office would be. Clarke liked this space best of all and took a picture of the number she needed to call if she wanted to rent it.

“You like this one?” Lexa asked as she stood beside her. Clarke reached down to grab a hold of her hand making Lexa’s heart skip a beat.

“I do. Thank you for doing this with me.” Clarke said.

“It’s no problem.”

Just as they were about to turn and leave, Lexa’s phone went off and her eyes hardened at who was calling.

“It’s my mom.” Lexa said and Clarke didn’t say anything, just squeezed her hand tighter.

“You don’t have to answer it.” Clarke suggested as they headed back to the car to go home.

“She’s been talking to Anya a lot about me.” Lexa informed her.

“Well, I don’t want to talk about this too much because I know how you get but maybe you should see what she wants.” Clarke said softly as she buckled herself in.

“Why?” Lexa asked as she started the car and headed back to Clarke’s house.

“She didn’t know.” Clarke said quietly.

“Why does everyone keep saying that? That was the most fucked up deal I have ever heard in my entire existence and Indra was in talks with Nia. To Hell if she didn’t know about the damn deal,” Lexa spat and immediately tried to calm herself down. This was why she didn't talk about it. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Let’s just go home.” Clarke said, it was the last day they would be together until who knows when. With the dinner coming up and Finn and Sam coming home, she wasn't  sure when she would get a minute alone with Lexa next so she didn't want to spend it fighting. Her heart went out to Lexa when she told her about what happened. It had been over four years and while Lexa had been civil to her mom, Clarke knew the tension was still high. She wished Lexa would just talk to her mom about it, but it wasn’t her place.

* * *

 

They were lounging around in their underwear in bed when Lexa turned to face Clarke.

“I think I want a puppy.”

“Really?” Clarke asked in surprise.

“Yeah. It would be cute and my loft allows them so why not.” Lexa shrugged.

She rented out her loft around the same time she opened her bar. It was only ten minutes away from each other and Lexa found it super convenient. It was a two-floor loft with plenty of rooms. She had three extra rooms, one was storage, one was a guest room and although both of them knew this and never acknowledged it, one was technically Sam’s room. That was the room she would sleep in when she slept over, which was pretty often.

Lexa wouldn’t mind seeing and training a little puppy there.

“Maybe we should go looking for one, one day. We can even bring Sam.”

“That would be cool. What time do you have to pick her up tomorrow?” Lexa asked as she crawled over to Clarke and got on top of her.

“Tomorrow morning around eleven.” Clarke said as she embraced Lexa and Lexa hummed.

“Well, I know we were kind of having a conversation but this is our last night together and I don’t want to spend it talking.” Lexa said as she leaned down to take Clarke’s nipple in her mouth. Clarke took her own underwear off and then took Lexa’s off. She would never be tired of being intimate with the girl and while in the back of her mind, she thought about what she was going to hurt her family, she didn’t care all that much.

Clarke leaned up to kiss Lexa and flipped them over to which Lexa let out a surprise gasp. Clarke smirked down at her and leaned down to nibble her ear. Lexa squeezed Clarke’s hips as Clarke sucked on her earlobe. Lexa trailed her hands down Clarke’s stomach and into her. Clarke let out a deep moan as Lexa slid knuckle deep inside her. Lexa moved into her slowly, feeling her walls clench down on her finger. Lexa would never get over how hot Clarke was around her fingers. Lexa took her time moving in and out of Clarke, curling her finger in her after every thrust while Clarke attacked her neck and ear and collarbone with open mouthed kisses.

Their lips connected once more before Lexa pulled away and pulled her finger out of Clarke. Clarke was getting ready to protest when Lexa spoke.

“Come up here.” Lexa said lowly as she looked Clarke in the eyes. They were a deep dark forest color, glazed over with lust and Clarke was so turned on. Lexa lowered herself all the way onto the bed and Clarke slowly made her way up to her face. She lifted herself up and placed a knee on either side of Lexa’s head. Lexa grabbed a hold of Clarke by her butt cheeks and pulled her close. Lexa moaned at being surrounded by nothing by Clarke. Her arousal, her sweet and tangy smell, her thighs. Clarke got comfortable on top of Lexa and left her enough space to work.

Once they were both comfortable, Lexa licked her way through Clarke. Clarke held out her hands in front of her on the headboard to steady herself. Lexa lapped at her juices and sucked her folds into her mouth. Clarke moved one hand from the headboard to Lexa’s hair. Lexa moved up and wrapped her lips around her clit and sucked as Clarke let out moan after moan. Clarke started to slowly rock into Lexa’s face as Lexa picked up her pace.

Lexa brushed her tongue over Clarke’s clit and pulled it into her mouth as Clarke tightened her grip around Lexa’s brown locks. She wished she could stay like this forever but she knows tonight is their last night together and Clarke was sad for it.

Lexa massaged her tongue against Clarke’s clit and then licked down her folds until she entered her with her tongue and Clarke was having a hard time keeping still. Everything that Lexa was doing felt amazing and Clarke let out another deep moan. She squeezed her eyes shut so tight that she saw white dots appear behind her eyelids. Lexa wasn’t letting up on her clit and Clarke could feel her stomach start to tighten, she was going to cum.

 _“_ Yes… Baby… Right there… Oh, god…” Lexa hummed into Clarke as she listened to Clarke fall apart above her. The vibrations of it made Clarke groan.

 _“_ Lexa… Lexa… Lexa. _”_ Clarke chanted over and over as she clamped her thighs around Lexa’s ears and came. Lexa was greedily sucking up all of Clarke’s juices, moaning at the taste. She tasted so sweet but a little salty. Clarke rode out her orgasm and then removed herself from Lexa’s face. Lexa quickly wiped her face and leaned in to kiss Clarke. Clarke immediately opened Lexa’s legs while still kissing her and slipped two fingers into her. She didn’t go slow, she didn’t want to. She wanted Lexa gasping for breath underneath her so she set out for a fast pace, and soon enough Lexa was gasping for breath underneath her. Lexa came with Clarke’s name on her tongue. They were both sweaty messes when they finished and tangled up into each other, wishing that this weekend didn’t have to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a quick question for you guys. Do any of you watch The 100 right now like season four? If you do, is it worth me watching?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is set in Washington D.C. three years ago. You guys get to see how Lexa and Clarke first met and how they had their first kiss. I hope you enjoy!

**Washington D.C.**

_3 years ago_

 

“Would it kill you to actually spend some time with your daughter?” Clarke spat angrily upon hearing her husband of two years walking into the living room. It was almost midnight when he walked through the door.

“I’m sorry.” Finn was getting ready to say more when Clarke cut him off.

“You’ve been coming home late every night this week and you never tell me. Your daughter misses you and wants to see you.” Clarke snapped.

“I’m sorry I’m out trying to provide for my family.” Finn said sarcastically and Clarke slotted her eyes at him.

“And you act like I don’t work too, on top of taking care of our daughter. I’m basically working two jobs right now. Sam is a lot of work and still needs a lot of attention and I absolutely love her but you don’t help me out,” Clarke said. “I’m a full-time stay-at-home-mom, we said that would be easier than paying and putting her in a daycare. I teach her a lot of things and we work on numbers and letters. I also have to paint so I have them to sell and then there’s my husband, who doesn’t spend any time with his daughter.” Clarke spat again and secretly smiled when she saw Finn’s guilty face.

“I’ll try to get off early tomorrow. We are just working really hard, trying to sell our stuff and then produce the commercial.” Finn worked for an advertisement agency and he would sell things to big companies for profit. Clarke would always support his job but it’s hard to do that when her little girl looked up at her and asked where her father was.

“I want to go to the bar tomorrow night so you better come home early.” And Finn nodded at this.

“I’ll be home at six, no later than that. I’m sorry and you definitely deserve a night out.”

* * *

 

It was just supposed to be Friday nights but those Friday nights turned into Saturday and Sunday nights. Clarke thanked god that Finn didn’t work on the weekends, only if it was an emergency.

She went out of the weekends, she hadn't  really thought of it but once she had Sam, her partying days were over, especially since Finn worked all the time and her job was at home. Clarke didn’t really ever have time for herself, but the weekends and she quickly found herself loving this new-found freedom. She loved her daughter with all of her soul but she needed some time to herself too. So, over the course of the next few weeks, Clarke always found herself in Trikru, a really laid back bar. It wasn’t a club, but it was spacious and the dark themed it had was very welcomed to Clarke.

Clarke would go with her friends and sometimes she went by herself. It was weird, Raven was dating the owner’s sister and she’s seen her on a few occasions. The first time Clarke saw Lexa was when she came out to help Lincoln restore the alcohol. Lexa didn’t notice her (She totally did but Clarke doesn’t know this) and when Clarke got a glimpse of her, she let out a little gasp. This girl was beautiful. She was wearing her hair up in a bun. Her eyes were green and it reminded Clarke a whole lot of the forest and nature and the leaves. She had a jawline Clarke was sure she could cut Sam’s peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with and she had the perfect cheekbones.

Clarke knows she was staring too long but it’s been a while, a _long_ while since anyone had caught her eye like this. This bar was full of beautiful women. Clarke didn’t even care to admit that they all paled in comparison to this girl. Clarke was glad that Raven was in the bathroom and she was by herself. She knew she was being creepy but she couldn’t look away. This girl was _gorgeous._ She saw Raven approaching the table and she quickly averted her eyes.

A couple of weeks had passed and Clarke didn’t mind admitting that she found herself going back to that bar, just to see the owner. They’ve never really talked but they definitely noticed each other. Another week passed before they finally talked.

* * *

 

“You know I can’t help but wonder why this beautiful, elegant woman keeps showing up in my bar.” Lexa purred as she poured Clarke another drink. It was hard not to notice the girl, she wouldn’t tell her that she knew her name just yet. She’s met Raven on numerous occasions and she always talks about her blonde friend, Clarke. Not to mention, that she had seen them both here before. She was managing the bar tonight along with Lincoln and Nyko. She thanked god that she hired them, they weren't the only ones who work for her, but they were excellent bartenders.

“I don’t mind the drinks. The company isn’t too bad either.” Clarke directed that sentence to her. Lexa smirked and let out a little chuckle.

“I hope you don’t mind but the word around the grapevine is that you are married. Now, I have to wonder why this married woman keeps showing up in my bar?” Lexa asked discreetly.

“I don’t mind that you know. Even though, we are technically strangers. I know that my best friend is dating your sister.”

“So, you’re Clarke?” Lexa asked, even though she knew the answer.

“Yeah.” Clarke said slowly trying to figure out how she knew this.

“Sorry, Anya doesn’t shut up about Raven and Raven doesn’t shut up about you. Octavia is brunette and you’re the only blonde Clarke here.” Lexa explained.

“I just like to go out from time-to-time. My husband can handle my daughter for one night. He misses all the other nights during the week.” Clarke said bitterly and Lexa nodded sympathetically.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. Now, you know my name. What’s yours?” Clarke asked curiously. Clarke couldn't  believe that she had been talking to the girl that she was blatantly ogling not only a week ago. Clarke thought she looked even more beautiful face-to-face.

“Lexa.” The brown-haired women supplied softly and reached across the bar to shake Clarke’s hand. The minute their hands met, Clarke felt a rush of energy float through her. Lexa’s hands were so soft and Clarke never wanted to let her hand go but she supposed she should.

“Nice to meet you.” Clarke said with a smile.

“You too.” Lexa smiled back.

* * *

 

The bar was always packed but Lexa managed to always find herself in the blonde’s presence for the weeks to come. It was like a magnetic pull when Clarke walked through the door. Lexa couldn’t hide her attraction for the girl. She was stunning and a part of her was disappointed that she was married. They got to know each other over the next few weeks, every time Clarke came in, she would sit where Lexa was bartending and they would talk over the music and the people. Even though there were a lot of people there, Clarke felt like it was only them.

“Hey, do you want to go in the back where it’s more quieter?” Clarke knew she should’ve said no. She shouldn’t be alone with this girl who makes her feel so much in so little time. She felt guilty for developing a slight crush on the girl (More than slight. It was huge, Clarke was only lying to herself) but she found herself nodding. She found herself sliding off the barstool to follow Lexa to her office. She found herself sitting way to close to Lexa on her couch that was in her office. She found herself smiling in the alone company of the girl. She didn't know why but she felt like she could  truly relax now.

“Your office is nice.” Clarke said as she looked around. There was a big black polished desk in the back of the office. A flat screen TV mounted to the wall. Two chairs on the opposite side of the desk and a big chair (Where she assumed Lexa gave all her orders) on the other side of her desk. There was a grey couch, in which they were sitting on, on one side of the office and on the other side were dark blue bean bags. Everything in this office was dark and Clarke was usually a bright person. Their house was made up of bright colors but she didn't know why she found herself loving this space. The darkness that the room brought was making her even more open and relax.

“Thank you. I own this bar and I’m here a lot so I made it comfortable.” Lexa said as she looked over to Clarke. All Clarke had to do was move an inch closer and they would be touching. Clarke cursed herself for thinking about how nice that would be.

“So, you’re married?” Lexa asked the question they both knew the answer too.

“I am. Been married for two years now, we have a little girl. She’s two.” Clarke said as she got her wallet out and opened it. The very first slot is a picture of her daughter. Lexa looked over at the picture and instantly smiled. She was never really a kid person but this kid was insanely cute and looked just like her mom, who was without a doubt, insanely cute too.

“Oh, wow. She’s cute.” Lexa said as she looked over the picture. She didn't know why her eyes met Clarke when she said that. The things she was thinking right now would send her straight to Hell. This girl was married for Christ sakes, Lexa really needed to get a grip.

“Thank you. She’s my everything.” Clarke gushed and Lexa smiled at her.

“You’re cute.” Lexa didn’t mean to let that slip but it did and there was no taking it back because she knew that Clarke heard it because her cheeks were a light red.

“Thank you. You aren’t bad yourself,” Clarke said and then corrected herself. “I mean, you probably you a girlfriend or something.” Clarke waved off. The only reason Clarke said that was because she knew that Anya’s sister was gay because she told her, also she wanted to cover up the obvious tension between them.

“I actually don’t but thank you for assuming so.” Lexa hummed out. Clarke cheered mentally before she scolded herself and she realized that this was a terrible idea. She shouldn’t be alone with a girl she was so clearly attracted too. It would be bad for everyone. She should go home, see her daughter and her husband. But for some reason, she couldn’t get off the couch. She wanted to but the longer she looked into Lexa’s green eyes, the longer she wanted to stay. They were the perfect shade of green and later on that night (Clarke would never admit it) she drew those same eyes.

“So, you’re an artist?” Lexa asked smoothly and Clarke let out another smile. She swore she smiled more tonight than her entire marriage.

“I am. I love it, I’m actually thinking of doing something bigger like an art gallery. Me and my husband are having disagreements about it.” Lexa frowned at hearing this.

“Why?”

“I’m a stay-at-home-mom technically. Sam is two and isn’t in daycare, she stays at home with me while I work on my paintings and sell them,” Clarke explained. “My husband wants me to stay home.”

“That’s stupid.” Lexa said with a grumble and Clarke laughed.

“Tell me about it.” Clarke said and Lexa’s showered her pearly whites. Lexa’s teeth were so straight and her jaw was so cut that Clarke had to force herself not to touch it. She would blame it on the artistic side of her, instead of actually owning up that she just wanted to touch Lexa. She bet her skin was so soft and Clarke took a glance at her lips and sucked in a breath. Lexa’s lips looked so plumped and she bet if she were to lean in and-

Clarke immediately stopped that train of thought and got up.

“I should go.” She blurted out. Lexa looked a little confused. Clarke swore she saw hurt flash across her face before she schooled her features, but Clarke already saw it.

“Wife duties call?” Lexa drawled out as she got up with her and was just a little too close. Clarke knew she should’ve moved out of Lexa’s personal space but she didn’t. Instead, she found herself leaning into her and they met for the most awkward hug Clarke had ever had, but it was one of the bests. She felt Lexa’s hand wrap around her back and Clarke was a goner.

She rested her forehead against Lexa’s and contemplated leaning in. Was it worth ruining her marriage? She wasn’t being dramatic, no, she knew this wasn't a good idea so why wasn't she pulling away? She had a husband at home and a daughter who she absolutely adores. Was she going to give that all away for this girl? This beautiful girl who made her feel wanted even though this was the first time they had really been in each other’s company alone. This beautiful girl who was looking down at her with soft, green eyes. This beautiful girl who was leaning- _No! Clarke don’t do it!_

Clarke pulled away from the embrace and Lexa immediately backed up.

“I’m sorry.” She squeaked out and she looked small, _so_ small that Clarke wanted to go over and hug her again but she knew that wouldn’t be a good idea.

Clarke wondered what would’ve happened if she didn’t pull away from Lexa. Would they had kissed? Would Clarke had enjoyed it? Would Lexa taste the regret she had the minute their lips met? Would Lexa taste the want she wished she didn’t have?

Clarke wished she didn’t have to leave but she knows she should. She almost kissed this girl for Christ sakes, she needed to get out of here. This would be the time that her feet start moving and she walked out of the door, out of the bar and into her car. This was the moment that her mind and body truly disconnected from one another because she didn't walk out of Lexa’s office. Instead she walked over to Lexa, who was looking down at her feet. She stared at her until Lexa finally looked up and Clarke almost gasped at the look on her face.

It was absolute _want_ and it was enough for Clarke to (embarrassingly) admit that it made her wet. Clarke knew she shouldn’t had done this. She had a daughter to think about. It said a lot that she didn’t think about Finn as much, as she looked into those green eyes glazed over with lust. Clarke wasn’t sure what her eyes looked like but if the way she felt was reflecting through her eyes, she would say that her eyes were clouded in lust too. Lust that would get her into a whole bunch of trouble.

The air between them was thick and neither of them moved. Lexa opened and closed her mouth a bunch of times and Clarke stayed rooted to her spot, staring at her. Clarke was nervous, she marched right up to Lexa only to fall back? She’s only had one drink and she was definitely nowhere near drunk. She wished she had a drink so she could do what she really wanted but then again, she didn’t. She wanted to be completely sober for this experience and she is. What was she doing though? It was clear she wasn’t thinking right but she was because she could’ve left but she didn’t.

She wanted to reach out and grab a hold of Lexa but she didn’t. She didn’t know what to do and she let out an audibly gasp when she saw Lexa step closer to her.

“You need to leave.” She said lowly and Clarke looked up at her with a confused expression. She was sure that this girl was going to kiss her moments ago, and now she’s kicking her out. She can see the rationality behind it but she refused to believe it. Clarke didn’t move though, she stayed where she was, three inches away from Lexa.

“I’m serious, Clarke. Get out before I do something I shouldn’t.” Lexa said darkly, but she didn’t step back just like Clarke didn’t. In fact, she stepped closer and Clarke smelt her perfume, she smelled like coconut and lavender.

“Like what?” Clarke probably shouldn’t have asked but she did. She wanted to know what Lexa would do if she didn’t leave. Would she try to kiss her again? Would they do more than kissing? Would they just stand here thinking about what it would be like to kiss each other? Clarke was too far gone and she was already too far into this without being in it at all.

“This.”

And it happened.

Right there in Lexa’s office with a whole bunch of people out in her bar, with her employees roaming around back. Right there in Lexa’s office was where Clarke committed her sin. Clarke didn’t push Lexa away. In fact, she leaned in and met Lexa halfway. Lexa grabbed a hold of Clarke’s cheek and pulled her in and they shared the same air and it was _hot._ Clarke was wondering what was taking so long for Lexa to connect their lips and when she looked up, she saw Lexa looking at her with a question in her eye. Clarke knew what that question was and she should’ve shook her head, but she didn’t. She nodded her head and Lexa didn’t hold back anymore. She connected their lips and Clarke was never one to believe those stupid myths where you feel butterflies in your stomach when you kiss someone special. She never really felt butterflies when it came to Finn but she always knew that he was the one.

Lexa moved her lips against Clarke’s and Clarke was right, they were so soft and so smooth. She never wanted to pull away. Clarke deepened the kiss and Lexa grabbed a hold of her waist to pull her close. It had been a while since Clarke had gotten lost in a kiss and she knew she was lost. Out in the woods, missing for five days, police search party lost.

She grabbed a hold of Lexa’s hair and sucked her bottom lip in her mouth. Lexa opened her mouth in the middle of the kiss but she didn’t slide her tongue into Clarke’s mouth and Clarke thought that Lexa was a gentlewoman. Finn didn't silently ask for permission to invade her mouth with his tongue, he just did it.

Clarke nodded once again into the kiss and Lexa immediately slid her tongue into her mouth and Clarke felt her knees buckle and she was thankful that Lexa was holding onto her. Her tongue was a warm velvet that Clarke never wanted to let go off. Their tongues met and Clarke let out a moan that she wouldnt allow herself to be sorry for. This was hands down the best kiss she's ever had and when she admitted that to herself, she moaned again and was surprised when Lexa moaned right back.

Clarke kissed Lexa with all of her might and she knew that she shouldn’t be enjoying this. She knew she should pull away before it went  too far but no, there she was desperately making out with Lexa and they both showed no sign of stopping.

Lexa rubbed her hands up and down Clarke’s sides as Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck. Their bodies connected with each other at that action as Lexa planted frantic kisses to Clarke’s mouth. Clarke was kissing  back with just as much force. Just as Lexa was getting ready to move those kisses down her neck, Clarke’s phone went off. Clarke immediately pulled away from the kiss and from the warmth and from the girl she just cheated with.

Clarke took her phone out of her pocket with shaky hands and she wanted to throw up when she saw who was calling: Finn. She didn’t answer it, she didn’t know what to say.

_Hi, hello, I totally just cheated on you._

_I’m here with a beautiful girl who makes me feel way better than you can._

_I just kissed the life out of this girl and I’m completely soaked._

Clarke didn’t answer it because she knew she wouldn’t be able to find her voice. She let it ring until it stopped and she shoved it back into her pocket. Lexa was breathing hard and so was Clarke, and neither of them knew what to say to each other. So, they didn’t speak. Lexa looked over to Clarke with an expression Clarke couldn’t quite make out but if she had to guess, it would be want.

Lexa looked like she _wanted_ Clarke and Clarke almost buckled her knees at that thought. She was so incredibly turned on and they were only kissing. It had been two weeks since her and Finn had sex. She would be lying if she said she didn’t want Lexa to take her right now.

Clarke didn’t say anything as she slowly walked back over to Lexa who looked like a scared animal. Clarke didn't blame her, things got too intense, too fast but Clarke wanted _more._ She wanted to feel Lexa’s lips everywhere. Her lips were swollen with all the excessive kissing. She wanted-

She didn’t think about it. She grabbed Lexa’s face and kissed her again. It was hard and Lexa kissed her back with just as much effort. The unspoken want between them was so clear. Lexa grabbed a hold of Clarke’s hips and pulled her in while nipping at her bottom lip. Lexa was getting ready to move her kisses down Clarke’s neck again, when her phone went off again. Clarke thought this was a sign. Maybe she shouldn’t be doing this and she cursed when she pulled away from Lexa.

“Shit!” She huffed as she took her phone out of her pocket again.

“Answer it.” Lexa rasped and Clarke shook her head.

“I should just go home.”

Clarke knew it wasn’t an emergency because Finn wouldn’t have taken that much time in between calls. Still, Clarke knew she should answer it but she couldn’t bring herself too.

Lexa looked lost as to what to do but she was nodding. She sucked in a breath and said, “Maybe, I could get your number?"

Lexa knew she was throwing herself out there by saying that but she was brave enough to say what Clarke couldn’t. Clarke gestured to Lexa’s phone and Lexa wordlessly gave it to her. Clarke put her name and number into Lexa’s phone and handed it back to her. They didn’t speak as they neared Lexa’s office door. What was there to say? They both knew what they just did and it was justified when they kissed for the second time. Clarke wasn’t sure what would’ve happened if she wasn’t interrupted and she wished on everything that she could’ve found out. She didn't know how she was going to look her husband in the eye tonight. How did one do that? She was never a cheater but there she was, standing in an office of a girl she barely knew, kissing the life out of her. She didn't know what to do but she knew, she needed to go home.

She needed to leave for real this time because she swears if she stayed any longer, she was going to pin Lexa down and have her way with her. She didn't care if her husband called fifty times, she wouldn't stop until she saw this beautiful girl come undone beneath her. So, she needed to leave.

She looked at Lexa and was getting ready to turn the knob on the door, before Lexa spoke quietly.

“I’m sorry. Not for what happened but for what you have to deal with. The guilt, I guess. I’m sorry.”

Clarke stared at Lexa, trying to figure out what to say. She knew she gave Lexa her number and she could’ve easily not, but she did. She didn’t want Lexa to feel sorry for her. She was a big girl and she took on her own guilt. And she admitted, she felt bad about what just happened but how could something so bad, taste and look so good.

“Don’t be. It takes two people to kiss.” Clarke breathed

Lexa sucked in her lips at that and nodded her head. Things were starting to get awkward between them so Clarke spoke again, “I’ll leave you to it then. I need to get home and see what Finn wants but don’t feel guilty about this,” Clarke sucked in a breath before she spoke next. She looked Lexa deep in her eye when she did. “I loved it.”

Lexa’s eyes widened, but she didn’t say anything. She just nodded her head again. Clarke was almost halfway out the door when Lexa whispered, “Me too.”

They both heard it. Clarke even stopped in her tracks when she did but she knew if she turned around again, she wasn’t coming out of that office for a long while. Lexa didn’t see it, but Clarke smirked as she walked away. Lexa sighed and closed the door behind her. She was giving herself a time-out for what she just did and she hated herself for not regretting a single moment of it.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is another flashback. Next chapter will continue on with present day. This chapter is how they first slept together so I hope you enjoy!

**Washington D.C.**

_3 years ago_

Clarke would be lying if she said she didn't feel the least bit guilty. She just committed a sin; adultery. She was never planning on doing it, it just happened. She didn't know if she regretted it or not but she found herself thinking about the brunette way too much. Clarke wanted to crawl out of her skin when Finn had kissed her goodnight the night she kissed Lexa. Did he know that her lips kissed someone else?

Clarke tried not to think about it, she did but she failed. It kept her up late at night. How could she sleep? She had one of the best kisses of her lifetime and she couldn't even tell her friends about it. Clarke stayed up all night after their first kiss. She drew Lexa over and over again. The first drawing was her beautiful green eyes. The second was her hair. The third was them, hugging. Clarke realized what she was doing and she tucked those drawing deep into her mini locker she kept on her dresser that she only knew the combination too.

It had been a couple of weeks since she kissed Lexa and she had heard no sign of her. She didn't go back to Trikru, she had no idea what she was going to say if she ran into Lexa, but she wished they could talk. Her head had been everywhere and nowhere all at once.

She played her part. Kissing Finn goodnight, showering with him and making him breakfast before he left for work. But, a part of her felt like she wasn't there. A ghost of her was doing all these things for her husband. The real her wanted to be with Lexa and- _No! We have to stop this. Think about Sam. Think of the life you want for her. Is it this one?_

Of course, Clarke thought about her daughter in this. She knew it was only one kiss but she felt like that kiss really broke down her reality. She never thought she would ever have doubts about her marriage but she washaving them now. She only let herself have these doubts late at night when her daughter and husband were asleep. She walked herself into the kitchen and sat down at the dinner table and just thought. She thought about Lexa, she thought about how happy she was on her wedding day, she thought about how much she wanted to kiss Lexa again. She thought of how Finn once made her happy. She thought until she couldn't think anymore.

* * *

 

She was in the middle of drawing a detailed forest by the lake. She told herself it had nothing to do with Lexa but it did. It totally did. She was getting ready to go check on Sam when her phone rung and her heart almost leaped out of her chest. She quickly answered it and tried to sound casual.

"Hello?"

But Lexa didn't say anything. Clarke took her phone away from her ear to make sure she hadn't accidentally hung up.

"Lexa?" Clarke asked quietly but Lexa didn't respond to her. The girl was there, she could hear her, but she wasn't speaking. Clarke didn't know what to say so they didn't say anything to each other. Clarke didn't hang up either, she stayed on the line for almost an hour with the girl. Not caring about the phone bill. She stayed on the line with the girl she couldn't stop thinking about.

Lexa called again the next day right after Clarke put Sam down for a nap. She didn't say anything again and Clarke stayed on the line as she worked on her paintings. Clarke didn't say anything either and Lexa called the next day after that.

She called for a whole week before she finally spoke.

"I miss you." She heard float through the phone. She was putting away the lunch she made for her and Sam and almost dropped her phone when Lexa spoke. Clarke didn't know what to say but she didn't get a chance to say anything before Lexa spoke again.

"I wanna see you." Lexa breathed out and this time Clarke responded. She was alone when she did. Sam was upstairs napping again.

"Me too." Clarke admitted. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about the girl and even though they didn't talk when Lexa called, she enjoyed it because in a way, Lexa was there with her for the hour or so she called.

"When can I see you?" Lexa asked in a rush and Clarke bit her lip.

"I could come by this weekend." Clarke said and her stomach coiled just thinking about the possibility.

"Really?" Lexa asked surprise.

"Yeah. I mean, if you don't want me to-"

"No! I do. You should come to my loft instead of the bar." Clarke knew they weren't going to sit and talk or braid each other hair. Clarke knew full-well what was going to happen if she went over to Lexa's alone. Clarke really thought about it. Would she have sex with this girl? Would they make out again? Would they really just sit and talk? Clarke didn't know what to expect but she had an idea.

"Yeah. I can tell my husband I'm going to the bar for a bit. We would have to be quick and I can't stay over for too long." Clarke explained and Lexa was thinking what Clarke was. This was secretive and hot and they knew they weren't just going to talk. Neither one of them wanted to talk.

"Okay, I'll text you my address. Come by tomorrow night." Lexa informed her.

"Okay, I will. Bye."

"Bye, Clarke." Lexa's soft voice rung into her ears.

Clarke cleaned her kitchen with a new-found energy. She even hummed along to a song she didn't even know. She couldn't keep still that afternoon knowing that tomorrow night she was finally going to see the girl who invaded her thoughts.

* * *

 

Clarke was nervous. Hands jittery, lip-biting, almost sweating nervous. She swore at some point her heart leaped out of her chest, took a walk around the neighborhood and came back home with how nervous she was. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she made her way up to Lexa's loft. She lived alone and was told to come right in. Clarke at least had the decency to knock. Lexa opened the door clad in some black skinny jeans and a white V-neck. She looked casual, like she was lounging around. Clarke fluttered her eyes, wondering if she was looking at a goddess or a mythical creature. Lexa was too beautiful for her own good and Clarke told her just that.

"You look beautiful." Clarke said and Lexa stepped aside to let her in. She saw Lexa's cheeks tinge pink and she smiled to herself.

"Not as beautiful as you." And Clarke was sure her heart was doing laps around Lexa's apartment building. Clarke didn't say anything, she walked up to Lexa and grabbed her by the back of her neck, bringing her in for a kiss. Clarke sucked Lexa's bottom lip into her mouth desperately. She wanted to feel Lexa everywhere.

Lexa kissed her back with just as much passion, backing her up into her couch and lowering her down. Clarke hit the back of her couch and laid down as Lexa got on top of her and Clarke let out a moan at the added weight. Lexa held herself up by planting her hands on either side of Clarke's head as she kissed her with absolute want. Their lips were smacking together and Lexa slowly started to grind into her. Clarke didn’t mean for things to get so hot so fast but she didn't want to stop. That was why she was here, right? To have sex. It was an unspoken proposition between them and they both knew why; Clarke was married. She shouldn't be here underneath Lexa. She shouldn't be throwing her head back as Lexa finally got to attack her neck with kisses. She shouldn't be wrapping her legs around Lexa's back but she did and she was and she didn't want to leave. However, she didn't want to have sex on the couch.

"Take me to your room." Clarke breathed out as Lexa sucked on her neck.

Lexa removed herself from Clarke and got up. She held out her hand and Clarke grabbed a hold of it. Lexa kissed the back of her hand and lead her to the back of her loft where her bedroom was. Clarke briefly noticed the lack of pictures on the wall. Actually Clarke noticed that there wasn't a whole lot of decorations to her loft at all. Everything was a plain solid color and it looked like her loft was barely touched. Everything was so neat and organized and so different from the chaos of her own household.

Lexa opened the door and closed it behind them. Lexa's room wasn't much different from the first floor. Her bed was a king bed made up of green and black. Her walls were a light green color and she has a desk off to the side and the bathroom was on the other side. There was a large fluffy black rug in the center of the room and a flat screen TV sitting upon one of her dressers. Lexa's room, much like her eyes, reminded Clarke of the nature. Lexa removed her shirt and brought Clarke close.

"Are you sure?" Lexa breathed.

Clarke almost tripped over her own two feet. Lexa looked absolutely gorgeous shirtless. She was wearing a cute black lacy bra.

This was Clarke's chance to back out. To go home and forget this ever happened. She wouldn't really be able to forget it because she already kissed the girl. She already committed her sin. She figured she should go the whole nine with it. She could back out, she really could but she wasn't going to. She wasn't going to think about Finn and Sam.

She was going to think about this beautiful girl in front of her and that was it. So, Clarke nodded.

"Yes." And she leaned back in to capture those soft lips with her own. She only broke the kiss to take her own shirt off and she pushed Lexa back onto the bed and straddle her. Clarke moaned when their bare chests came into contact with each other. Clarke had Lexa laying full on the bed and she went down to unbutton her pants. She looked down at Lexa until she nodded and lifted her hips. Clarke dragged her pants off her, standing up to do so. Lexa scooted over to the end of the bed and looked up at Clarke with wonder in her eyes as she unbutton her pants. Clarke stepped out of her pants and quickly joined Lexa in bed again. Their lips met for another kiss and there was so much skin exposed, Clarke forced herself to break away so she could worship the rest of Lexa's body. She started with her neck. She never bit down too hard, but she sucked and she nipped and kissed her neck. She unsnapped her bra and quickly took a dark nipple into her mouth. Lexa arched her back up into her and let out a little moan that was like Beethoven's symphony in her ears. Lexa snuck her arms around Clarke's back and removed her bra. Lexa reached up and cupped one of Clarke's breasts and Clarke practically purred.

"Can I take your underwear off?" Clarke knew there was no going back after this. Once Clarke took off Lexa's panties, she knew she was in this for the long run. It sucked because it was rushed, it had to be. She didn't spend more than two hours at the bar and she promised she wouldn't be home too late. But she wanted this. She wanted to do this and she wanted to do this with Lexa.

Lexa was looking at her deep in the eyes and Clarke nodded. She knEw she silently asking the question they both couldn't out loud. It took another minute of staring deep into each other souls, before Lexa nodded. Clarke immediately reached down to take her underwear. Lexa thought it would only be fair if she did the same. She reached for Clarke's underwear and pulled it down her thighs. Clarke climbed down on top of Lexa and melted her body against hers. She didn't ever want to leave the warmth of the girl.

Lexa grabbed a hold of Clarke's neck and pulled her down for a kiss. Their lips molded together perfectly as Clarke settled on Lexa's thigh and grinded down. They both moaned at that action and Clarke did it again. She could feel her juices coating Lexa's thigh and she was so turned on.

 _"_ God, Clarke."

Clarke practically humped Lexa's thigh as Lexa pressed open mouthed kisses to her breasts.

"I wanna taste you. Can I?" Lexa murmured into her chest and Clarke looked down at her. It was like looking into a starry night in the forest. Lexa's eyes were so dark and clouded with lust and Clarke wanted it. She wanted it all.

"Yes." She hissed out. Lexa flipped them over and pressed kisses all over her torso. Lexa was drinking in Clarke's skin, she couldn't get enough of it.

As Lexa trailed down lower and lower, Clarke was starting to get nervous. She wanted to do this with Lexa but it had been a long while. Not since she had sex but since she had been eaten out. Finn normally didn't do that, he just stuck it right in. Clarke wasn't sure if she was going to last long, she probably wasn't.

"I'm nervous." Clarke confessed as Lexa sucked on her hip. She let go of the skin and looked up at Clarke.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want too." Lexa said seriously.

"I just- Finn- He doesn't really go down there and it's been a while." Clarke admitted shyly.

"I'm sure you taste great. Don't worry, I can go slow if you want." Lexa suggested and Clarke nodded at that.

"Could you?"

"Of course. I can take my time." Lexa said as she kissed the inside of Clarke's thigh and Clarke smiled.

"Okay."

Lexa got back into the groove of things and settled herself comfortably in between Clarke's legs. She spread them a little wider and drew her legs up and rested her hands on her thigh. She leaned in and slowly licked through Clarke's folds. Clarke moaned even before contact and Clarke cried out when Lexa's tongue made contact with her center. It was so wet, hot and smooth.

Lexa gave another slow lick through Clarke's folds and moaned herself. Clarke tasted even better than she thought. It was so, _so_ sweet. The fact that Clarke was married and Lexa had her sprawled out on her bed, made Lexa unbelievably hot. The fact that Clarke was married and Lexa was making her moan when she had barely even started made this whole thing so unbelievably hot.

Lexa gave Clarke another lick through her center before her tongue flick over her hard nub. Clarke's hips jerk up into her face and Lexa pulled away, knowing she's probably sensitive. Lexa pulled away and examined Clarke's center. It was pink and dripping wet. It was cleanly shaven into a little V. Lexa blew against her clit.

 _"_ Oooo _,"_ Clarke whined out. _"_ Keep going. Faster this time. _"_ She moaned out and Lexa didn't need to be told twice. Lexa opened Clarke's legs wider and dived in. Lexa licked up and down, side to side and in circles all through Clarke's folds and her clit. Clarke was an absolute mess underneath her. She tried to close her legs around Lexa's head, but Lexa held firm onto Clarke's thighs. That didn't stop Clarke from crying out. Clarke was making noises she didn't even know she was capable of making but Lexa was being restless. Clarke lifted a tentative hand towards Lexa's head. She wasn't sure if Lexa would welcome it or not, but Lexa saw her lift her hand up and she nodded. Clarke latched onto those brown locks and let out another moan as she felt Lexa suck on her clit. Clarke wasn't going to last much longer. She was already so worked up. She knew she cutting it close on time but she felt her orgasm nearing. Lexa was circling her tongue around Clarke's clit and Clarke held her in place with the hand in her hair.

 _"_ Oh, god. Right there. _"_ She whined out. She could feel it. Her stomach was like a stretched out rubber band getting ready to snap. She couldn't wait to and it was almost there. All Lexa had to do was lash her tongue over Clarke's clit again and Clarke lost it. She threw her head back and cried out.

 _"_ Lexa!" Her body shook as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through her. She tightened her hold of Lexa's hair and close her thighs around her ear.

 _"_ Lexaaa!" Clarke couldn't stop Lexa's name from falling out of her mouth, even if she could help it. Clarke's body was still convulsing when she finally pushed Lexa away from her center. Lexa wiped the back of her mouth and crawled up to give Clarke a kiss.

"That was amazing." Clarke breathed in between kisses and she trailed her hand down to Lexa's center. Lexa opened her legs for Clarke and slipped her tongue into her mouth. Clarke removed herself from underneath Lexa and laid her down. Clarke made her way down Lexa's body. Touching and licking and sucking. She couldn't get enough of Lexa's skin and she wanted more. She wanted to taste Lexa and the mere thought of doing it made her wet again.

Clarke kneeled between Lexa's legs and wrapped her arms around her thigh, bringing her close. Lexa was brushing Clarke's hair out of the way and Clarke didn't waste any time, she leaned down and finally got a taste of the girl. Clarke moaned as soon as her tongue made contact with Lexa. She tasted so good and Clarke never wanted to leave. She wanted to pack up and move in, right in between Lexa's thighs. She knew that she didn't want to taste anyone but Lexa and Clarke ate Lexa out with abandon. She couldn't help herself, she couldn't go slow even if she wanted to. She lick and suck and bit down on Lexa's clit until Lexa was writhing under her and let out a long, high-pitched moan that sounded a lot like her name. Clarke licked Lexa clean and then met Lexa for a kiss. Clarke wasn't sure what to do next so she kept kissing Lexa. She knew she had to go soon and she didn't really know how the whole goodbye was going to go. They slowed their kiss down and eventually Lexa pulled away.

"You have to leave, don't you?" Lexa asked and Clarke nodded sadly. She got up so she could get dress, knowing if she stayed any longer she would want to go for another round and it was already late. She needed to get home to her husband.

Lexa walked Clarke to the door quietly. Neither one of them talked and the only thing that could be heard was the hand ticking on Lexa's clock. Clarke honest to god had no idea what to say. She had no idea what to feel. She lied to her husband saying she was going to the bar for an hour or two but really she was coming here to have sex with a girl she had only been friends with for a month.

Clarke turned around as she reached the door and that was not a good idea. Lexa was right behind her and she was staring at her with those soft green eyes and she looked vulnerable and Clarke felt it too. What was going to happen now? Did they act like this didn't happen? Did they say this was a one time thing and it couldn't happen again?

Clarke didn't know and it was clear Lexa didn't know either. Lexa silently opened the door for Clarke and Clarke nodded, getting the message. She needed to leave before they both act on their feelings again. Clarke turned back one more time to look at Lexa and Clarke never felt more open. Clarke felt like Lexa was staring straight into her soul. She would fing guilt (how could she not feel guilty for this). She would find hope that maybe this could happen again and then she would find anger for Clarke wanting this to happen again. She would find want because Clarke wanted Lexa, she finally got a snippet of what it would be like. She wished she could extend her stay but she couldn't. She needed to leave and Lexa needed to stop looking at her like she was the only one who matter. She needed to leave even though her heart was telling her to stay.

* * *

 

Clarke didn't eat for a couple of days. It was bad, she knew. She felt like a monster. How could she just go home and act like she didn't sleep with someone else? Her husband didn't  have a clue in the world but she knew what she did.

Two weeks had passed since she slept with Lexa and Clarke was an absolute mess. Neither one of them have tried to talk to each other. Clarke didn't know what to say. She wanted to sleep with Lexa again and she felt bad for admitting it, but it was true. She acted like nothing was wrong, of course. Smiling when her husband was talking about something exciting at work. Smiling when Sam would sing her ABC's.

Much like when they had their first kiss, Clarke felt like a ghost of her was here. Instead of a part of her being her, all of her was with Lexa. She wanted to be wrapped up with Lexa and Clarke had tried everything to forget the girl but she couldn't. All Clarke had to do was think of the girl and she was wet. The weekend was approaching and Clarke was thinking she might just go over to see Lexa. They didn't need to talk. Things were so clear between them without being clear at all. She knew she wouldn't be able to forget her brunette beauty. Clarke found it almost impossible too.

 

So, when the weekend rolled around. Clarke worked up the courage to go see Lexa again. She lied to her husband and said she was going out for a drink for an hour. She should've said two but she didn't want to go back on her word and have him question her. She said she would be going by herself and an hour was plenty of time for a drink. So, she rushed to her car and drove off to Lexa's place. She knocked on the door and almost laughed when she saw Lexa's shocked expression upon seeing her.

"C-Clarke?" She stuttered out and Clarke made her way into her apartment and Lexa closed the door. Lexa turned around to face Clarke and Lexa was stiff as a board. She wasn't moving and neither was Clarke.

"I know it's been two weeks but I can't stop thinking about you," Clarke started out and Lexa still remanded stiff. "I know when we slept together it was implied that it would be a one time thing but that night wasn't enough for me."

Clarke said as she walked over to Lexa and placed a hand on her cheek. She gently stroked it when Lexa didn't pull away, instead she melted into Clarke's touch. Clarke glanced down at Lexa's lips and then back up at her.

"Please, Lexa." Clarke breathed as she worked up her courage. The forest met the ocean when they looked at each other. "Give Me One More Night."

Lexa leaned in and kissed Clarke. Their teeth bumped against each other and they got tangled in each other's clothes as they hurried to take them off. Lexa's hands were everywhere on Clarke and Clarke backed Lexa up into her bedroom. They didn't come out until the very last minute that Clarke had to go. Clarke went home with the taste of Lexa on her mouth.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is back to present day and is starting with the family dinner at the Griffin's residence. Enjoy!

Lexa grimaced as she looked up at the Griffin's residence. She knew she was the last one to arrive, even Lincoln was here already. She noticed Clarke and Finn were already here and rolled her eyes. She didn't want to have to deal with them for a whole evening but she knew she had no other choice. She brought a case of beer and two bottles of wine. She was holding it in a big brown paper bag as she walked up the sidewalk to the front door. The Griffin's residence was absolutely beautiful. It was a big, modern home. Lexa couldn't help but imagine a little Clarke running around here at one point. She couldn't shake the smile off of her face when she did. The sidewalk was coated with an arrangement of flowers that she had no doubt Abby Griffin planted. Their grass was freshly cut and the house was painted white, with red rimmed windows. Lexa knocked on the front door and heard a bunch of chaos, before the door opened. She was met with mini Clarke and she couldn't help but smile.

"Lexa!" Sam yelled as Clarke came into view.

"Sam, what have I told you about answering the door when I'm not around?" Lexa heard Clarke scold and she looked absolutely adorable with the frown she was sporting.

"Sorry mom but look it's Lexa!" Sam reached her arms up so Lexa could pick her up.

"Hold on, Squirt. Let me set this down," Lexa said as she stepped in. She then looked around to Clarke. "Hey." She said with a shy smile.

"Hey." Clarke said with a smirk and a wave. They walked into the kitchen with Sam hot on their heels.

"Lexa!" Abby Griffin exclaimed, happy to see the girl.

"You are late." Jake grumbled out.

"Oh, then I guess I'll just take the a-l-c-o-h-o-l back." Lexa spelled out.

"Oh no, no, no," Jake rushed out. "Lexa!" He said with fake enthusiasm.

"Yeah, that's right appreciate me." Lexa gloated.

"I have someone who appreciates you." Clarke said and Lexa almost dropped the liquor in her hands until she realized that she was talking about Sam. Lexa looked down to see Sam patiently waiting for her hug. Lexa immediately smiled and set the bag down on the island in the middle of the kitchen and reached down and scooped Sam up. Sam placed her head on Lexa's shoulder and wouldn't let her go. Lexa walked around and greeted everyone with Sam in her arms. She steadily avoided talking to Anya, she didn't want to hear anything that she had to say.

The last person Lexa greeted was Finn and she had to grit her teeth as he immediately pulled her into conversation. Lexa didn't hate Finn but she just always found it awkward. Not even a week ago, she had his wife in various sexual positions and now she was here, having to interact with him. Finn was a cool dude. Sure, he was a little dorky but Lexa liked him but it sucked, because she would also put a barrier up when she was around him. She would watch the things she said because she was pretty sure if she didn't, she would slip up and saying something she shouldn't in regards to his wife.

It was gross to watch, really. Finn would get sidetracked, looking into the kitchen. She knew who he was looking at. She had to stop herself from looking at her too. She wasn't  hers.

"Can we build blocks?" Sam asked from her shoulder and Lexa nodded, thankful that she was finally being excused from seeing Finn drool over his wife. If only he knew. Sam and Lexa settled down comfortably in the living room where Monty and Jasper were fighting over what TV show to watch. Lexa reminded them to keep it PG since Sam was in the room now and they nodded.

 

"I wanna build a castle Lexa." Sam said in her high pitched voice and Lexa smiled.

"Anything you want, Squirt." Instead of sitting next to Lexa like Lexa thought Sam would. Sam choose to sit in Lexa's lap and Lexa smiled to herself. Sam was such a sweetheart and she loved spending time with her. Sam snuggled up to her while building her blocks, Lexa helping out every once in awhile, trying to keep it straight. Lexa leaned forward and couldn't help but notice the sad expression now coating Sam's face.

"Hey, why the long face?" Lexa asked with a frown.

Lexa heard Sam sigh dramatically. "My mommy and daddy don't know but I hear when they talk loud. Like really loud." Sam said as she knocked over her castle and got up from Lexa's lap to pick them up.

"They didn't use too but now they do, a lot." Sam said with a sad expression.

Lexa wasn't sure what to say to that because she didn't know that they were fighting. She knew that they had disagreements, what marriage didn't, but Clarke hadn't told her any in particular besides the art gallery.

"Hey, you don't worry about that. Your mom and dad love each other very much and everything is okay." Lexa wanted to throw up and she even internally cringed when she said that. Everything was so far from okay but she would never tell a five- year old that. Sam seemed to buy it though, and she smiled up at her.

"I love you, Lexa." Lexa didn't like to peg herself as an emotional women. She always liked to believe that she had the upper hand when it came to her emotions. She always kept them in check. That was why she wasn't making a complete fool of herself by staying in the same room as Finn and Clarke. But hearing this little girl say that she loves her gives her a new sense of life. Lexa also wasn't one for dramatics, but she couldn't help it. She loved two Griffin women and they had her spiraling out of control.

"I love you too, Sam." Lexa said back.

"I love you more." Sam said sweetly.

"No, I love you more." Lexa argued.

"I love you this much." Sam said as she expanded both of her arms out and Lexa smirked.

"I love you this much." Lexa expanded her arms and watched as Sam laughed.

"That's no fair. Your arms are longer than mine." Sam pouted.

"They are and do you know what it's time for?" Lexa asked quietly and Sam nodded mischievously. "I got Jasper. You take Monty." Lexa said quietly again and Sam nodded.

They crept their way over to the two boys who were to in gross in TV and shot out behind them. Lexa picked Sam up so she could throw her on Monty as Lexa tickled Jasper.

"Oh, hey."

"What the-" The boys broke out into a fit of screams and laughs that sounded like some of Sam's friends. Sam was tickling Monty under the arms and Lexa was attacking Jasper's side.

"This is no fair!" Jasper yelled out.

"We were ambushed." Monty shouted. Monty quickly grabbed a hold of Sam and picked her up and spun her around. Jasper put Lexa in a choke-hold when Raven came in.

"What are you guys doing?" She asked slowly upon seeing their shenanigans.

"Just goofing off." Jasper laughed out as she released his hold on Lexa and Monty put Sam down.

"They tagged teamed us." Monty huffed.

"Uh- huh. Lexa, Clarke's out in the garage getting ice, she said she could use your help." Lexa smirked internally at that and kissed the top of Sam's hair before she rushed off out to the garage. Clarke was in fact by the freezer looking at bags of ice. Their freezer was deep in the garage and nowhere near the garage door, which Lexa was happy about.

"Did you really need help with ice?" Lexa asked as she walked up behind Clarke. Clarke had her back towards her when she spoke.

"No, I just knew I wouldn't really get a moment alone with you so I made up an excuse. I mean, we do need ice for the alcohol but that can wait." Clarke said as she turned around and grabbed Lexa by her waist. Clarke leaned up and connected their lips together. Lexa immediately melted into the kiss. She knew they shouldn't be kissing right there in the garage of Clarke's parents house, but Lexa couldn't deny that she wanted this. She wished she could kiss Clarke freely but she knew that day would probably never come. She was content with kissing her in private.

"God, I missed your lips. Do you know what it's like to go from a sex-filled weekend to no sex at all?" Clarke pouted as she kissed Lexa again.

"Yeah, it kind of sucks. But at least you have someone." Lexa trailed off awkwardly. They didn't really talk about Clarke being intimate with Finn.

"I'm not- I mean- it's not-" Clarke struggled to find the right words.

"It's okay if you are. You have every right, he's your husband."

"I'm not sleeping with him. You know that." Clarke said.

"But isn't that a little weird. I don't mean to be a perv but is he really okay with not having sex with you. We've been sleeping together for years now, you guys aren't sleeping together at all?" Lexa asked.

"He would have to be home to sleep with me." Clarke grumbled and Lexa softened.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up."

"It's okay. You're curious, you have every right to be. I'm not sleeping with him, I would tell you if I was." Clarke said.

"Sam told me she hears you guys talk really loud." Lexa conveyed.

Clarke popped her head up at that and frowned.

"She did?" She squeaked out.

"Yeah. She told me while we were building blocks. You guys have been fighting?" Clarke closed her eyes and leaned back against the freezer.

"Yes, it was the big things at first and now it's all the small." Clarke admitted and she looked close to tears.

"He was eyeing you like a piece of meat earlier." Lexa growled annoyed.

"Probably playing the part I guess. I don't know what to do Lexa. He doesn't know about us and we are in a rocky point in our marriage. The fact that we don't sleep together puts us more on edge." Clarke said and Lexa felt bad for admitting that she didn't care to hear about the problems they were having and then she whipped herself back up into shape and focused on the beautiful girl in front of her.

"I'm sorry. Marriages are tough." Lexa shrugged.

"Yeah, coming from the girl who's sleeping with a married women." Clarke snorted. They were silent after that because it was true. Lexa could've stopped this so many times, but Clarke was like a drug and Lexa was an addicted. Selling all her things, strung out for three years, hardcore addict. She couldn't quit this girl and she didn't think any remedy would let her. Clarke was embedded in her heart and she didn't even know it, Lexa would never tell her. She knew this would become something heavy and she knew Clarke had feelings, but was she in love like she was? Lexa was so in love with Clarke and she hardly ever admitted it to herself and now she's here in the garage talking to Clarke about marriages.

"We should go back inside." Lexa suggested. This wasn't how she wanted to spend their limited time together but she needed to get out of here because she knew she would take Clarke right here and now, and wouldn't care who heard.

"Are you mad?" Clarke asked as she twiddled her thumbs. Lexa wasn't sure what happened but the mood in there changed. Maybe it was that they were finally acknowledging what they were really doing. Lexa was sleeping with a married woman and even though things seemed to be okay. It only took one wrong move to mess up this whole game. Lexa knew she was way too deep in this, but she glad she wasn't alone. Lexa stepped closer to Clarke but she didn't say anything.

"I can't stop thinking about you." Clarke whispered and Lexa rested her forehead against Clarke's.

"Me neither." Lexa confessed quietly.

"We should go inside." Lexa repeated and Clarke nodded. Clarke grabbed an ice bag out of the freezer and Lexa grabbed another one and they made their way inside.

"Finally! What took you so long?" Jake exclaimed as he took the ice from them one by one.

"Just, you know, catching up." Lexa said as she saw Clarke catch Finn's eyes and Finn smiled at her. She watched as Clarke smiled back and she rolled her eyes. She went to go search for Sam. Sam was drawing with Anya when she went into the dining room. She contemplated turning back out when Anya addressed her.

"You can sit. I don't bite." Anya said and Lexa sighed as she sat across from them. Sam greeted her with a smile and slid a paper over to with some crayons.

"We are drawing things we love." Sam explained seriously as she focused on her paper. Lexa looked over at Anya's paper and rolled her eyes when she saw a huge drawing of Raven and Anya's car. Lexa supposed she could give this a shot. She started out with her motorcycle and then she stopped. What else did she love? She unconsciously took a glance toward the kitchen. She knew who else she loved but she couldn't draw that down. She wouldn't know how to explain it. Lexa didn't love to many things now that she thought of it. She loved a girl once but that turned into a disaster and now she was there, staring down at an almost blank sheet of paper trying to rack her brain of things she loved. She supposed she could draw Anya and her parents even though she didn't talk to them. Lexa also drew Sam but that was a given, Sam already knew Lexa loved her.

Sam put her crayon down and called, "Times up!" Lexa obeyed and put down her crayon.

"Anya, what did you draw?" Sam addressed her as Anya listed off the things she loved which included tacos. Sam went next, it was a drawing of a poorly done swing set but Lexa thought it was the thought that counted. She also drew a house with her holding a soccer ball outside and what she was hoping was Clarke and Finn. Deep in the corner of the paper, Lexa recognized what she was assuming herself with her motorcycle and she smiled big.

"Is that me?" Lexa pointed to herself.

"Of course, silly. I love you." Sam expressed with a shy smile and looked over at Lexa.

"Well, thank god because I drew you too." Lexa explained as she held up her paper. Anya was getting ready to cut in when Abby yelled out.

"Dinners ready!" Lexa heard what she was sure was animals at the zoo, as they all made their way into the kitchen. Lexa couldn't deny that she was hungry and was in the mood for Abby's cooking. Lexa loaded her plate with various food. Steak, corn, mashed potatoes, green beans and cornbread. Lexa was ready to go to town when she walked back into the dining room and found that the only spot available was right next to Clarke. Lexa would be happy about this if it wasn't for the awkward encounter they had. Lexa sat down and there was no one by them. Everyone was spread out and Finn opted for eating in front of the TV with the boys. Octavia and Lincoln were on one side. Anya and Raven on the other and Sam was right in the middle of Anya and Raven. Lexa kept to herself, mostly pigging out when she was addressed by Abby.

"So, Lexa, how's the bar?" Abby asked as she cut into her steak.

Lexa wiped her mouth with a napkin respectfully when she answered, "Good, business is going good. The bar is doing good. Money is also good too." Lexa joked and Abby chuckled.

"That is good to hear, sweetie. What about you Clarke? How's your paintings going?" She felt Clarke stiffen beside her and she didn't blame her. She had been trying so hard to get her other half to see that she could be so much more, but he didn't want it. It could put a strain on you and Lexa felt sorry for Clarke.

"It's fine mom." Clarke said and Lexa did something she probably shouldn't have. She discreetly lowered her hand to rest on Clarke's thigh and she squeezed it. She felt Clarke's eyes on her but she focused on eating her mashed potatoes. Halfway into eating them, she felt Clarke rest her hand on top of hers. Anyone could've walked in and out of the dining room and probably could've seen their hands but no one moved. They all enjoyed being in each other company and they all listened as Sam told ridiculous stories.

As the night wounded down Lexa found herself dozing off on the Griffin's couch.

"Lexa." Lexa opened her eyes to see that Sam was standing beside her.

"Up." She said and Lexa picked her up and she laid down on top of Lexa. Lexa was way too tired to move and apparently so was Sam. She ate entirely too much and ate three different kinds of cake. She was seeing how that was a bad idea because she literally couldn't move. She got the blanket from across the couch and draped it over them. Lexa fell asleep with Sam's arms wrapped around her neck. 

* * *

 

Lexa wasn't sure what time it was when she was shaken awake. She felt a weight on top of her and looked down to see Sam knocked out on her, snoring and all. Lexa looked up to see Clarke standing before her and Lexa briefly wondered if she was still dreaming. Clarke looked absolutely breath-taking hovered over her.

"Hey, we were going to head home. It's almost mid-night. No one wanted to bother you guys but everyone has mostly left." Lexa was slowly waking up. She couldn't believe she just passed out for two hours. It felt like two minutes.

"Oh, yeah sure." Lexa slowly sat up and Sam latched onto Lexa.

"I can carry her out." Lexa mumbled and Clarke nodded. Lexa got up carefully while holding Sam and they made their way out the door after saying goodbye to Jake and Abby.

"I can't get over how great you are with her." Clarke said quietly as they made their way to the car. Finn was still inside packing food up to take home.

"She loves you." Clarke said as Lexa leaned down to put Sam in her car seat. Lexa buckled her and closed the door softly as she looked back up at Clarke. Her eyes were so beautiful, almost as clear as the night sky and Lexa wanted to so badly wish that she wasn't just talking about Sam. They both knew she wasn't.

"I know she does." Lexa said and she did know, maybe, a little. Lexa was smart enough to read between the lines. She knew Clarke wasn't just talking about Sam. She knew Clarke was talking about herself and Lexa was okay with Clarke hiding behind Sam. She didn't want Clarke to admit things she wasn't ready for, even if she so badly wanted to hear them. They've been through a lot and Lexa would never pressure Clarke to say things she wasn't ready for. But it made Lexa's heart leap in her chest because they both knew the underlying meaning to her words.

Lexa didn't hug Clarke goodbye as she went to her car. She was glad she didn't take her motorcycle because she knew the engine would had woken Sam up from her peaceful sleep. Lexa drove home that night wondering what it would be like to go home with the two girls she loved.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey." Clarke purred into the phone and Lexa immediately knew what she wanted. Lexa would be lying if she said she didn't want it too. It had been a couple of days since the dinner and even though things got weird at the dinner, Lexa was itching to see the girl.

"Hey."

"Wanna come over?" Clarke asked. "Finn's at work and Sam's still in school."

"I'll be there in ten." Lexa hung up the phone and went to grab her motorcycle helmet off the couch and headed to Clarke's.

* * *

 

Clarke waited impatiently for Lexa to arrive. She was sitting on one of the couches in the front room looking out the window. Clarke was already embarrassingly wet and she couldn't wait for Lexa to show up. Clarke heard the engine of her motorcycle as Lexa pulled up in her driveway and Clarke did a little happy dance. She got up and waited by the door for Lexa to knock. The second she did, Clarke opened the door and it was like a magnetic pull. Lexa quickly entered the house and Clarke shut the door. Clarke was getting ready to turn around so they could go upstairs but Lexa back her up against her door. Lexa immediately showered her neck in kisses as she breathed her in. Clarke grabbed Lexa and brought her in for a kiss. She was getting ready to lead them upstairs when Lexa pinned her against the door.

"You're alone right?" Lexa asked just to make sure.

Clarke couldn't find her voice, she wanted to say yes but a moan came out instead. So, she nodded.

"Then we're doing this here." Lexa said and Clarke moaned at Lexa's commanding tone. She nodded as Lexa took her shirt off and went straight for her breasts. Lexa removed the offending material that got in the way of her twins.

Lexa took a pink nipple in her mouth and tugged. Clarke threw her head back and grabbed any part of Lexa she could. She wasn't sure when they started to become desperate, but they did. They ripped each other's clothes off and they kissed like it would be their last. Clarke didn't let go of Lexa as she attacked her with kisses. Lexa trailed her hand down in between Clarke's legs and she spread them with her thigh. Lexa didn't say anything as she shoved two fingers in her and Clarke wrapped her leg around Lexa's waist so she could have better access. Lexa's two fingers bottomed all the way out into Clarke and Clarke bit down on Lexa's earlobe.

Lexa wasted no time, starting out a fast pace for them. She thrusted her fingers in and out of Clarke as she held her tight. Clarke was absolutely loving the feeling of being fucked by Lexa, pinned down to her front door.

Clarke didn't let her think of anything but Lexa which wasn't hard to do because that's all Clarke thought about. Lexa hit a particularly sensitive spot in Clarke which caused her to cry out.

 _"_ Oh, fuck. Don't stop."

"I'm never stopping." Lexa said into her neck before she leaned up and kissed her. Clarke knew this kiss was different, she could feel it. Despite the way Lexa was pounding her fingers in Clarke, this kiss was soft and passionate. Clarke decided she was going to pour everything she was to afraid to say into this kiss and it seemed like Lexa was doing the same thing. Their lips stayed connected, neither one of them pulling away. Their lips stayed connected until Clarke felt her orgasm and she trapped Lexa's fingers around her walls. She held on tight to Lexa as Lexa brought her down, neither one of them breaking the kiss.

"I won't have enough time to do you,” Clarke whispered between her lips. "I have to get Sam."

Lexa nodded, "I know. At least I got to do you." They finally broke away from each other and put their clothes on.

"Maybe I could swing by the bar tonight." Clarke offered

"You don't have to." Lexa said.

"Yeah but I want to. I think it will be hot. I'll leave after I put Sam down," Clarke said as she zipped her pants up. "You could come with me to get her. We could grab a bite to eat." Clarke suggested and Lexa knew she should probably say no, but who the hell was she to pass up an afternoon with her two favorite girls?

"Okay." Lexa said with a smile.

* * *

 

Clarke thought it would be a good idea for Lexa to go inside and get Sam. Normally they would meet at kiss n' ride but she knew her daughter would be happy to see Lexa. It wouldn't be the first time they did this but it had been awhile since Lexa was there to pick Sam up with Clarke. Clarke parked and Lexa unbuckled her seatbelt and was getting ready to head inside.

"Wait, gimme a kiss."

Lexa smirked at that and leaned in to kiss Clarke. Lexa felt the whole zoo and then some when she connected her lips against Clarke's. They were _so_ soft, Lexa couldn't get over it. Lexa knew she should pull away before they get carried away.

Lexa rested her forehead against Clarke's shoulder and Clarke kissed her hair. Lexa looked back up into those beautiful blue eyes but she didn't say anything. Clarke got the message loud and clear.

"I know," Clarke whispered in her hair. "I know, go get Sam." Clarke said as she looked back at Lexa. Clarke's heart broke a bit because she could tell they were in over their heads, but there was nothing to do about it.

Lexa walked into the school and waited by the doors for Sam, along with a lot of other parents. Lexa was never opposed to the idea of children, she hadn't really thought about it until she met Sam. She knew she was in no way a parent-figure to Sam, but sometimes she wished she was.

Before Lexa could think more of the idea, she saw Sam walking out of her class talking to one of her friends with a smile. Sam then looked up and saw Lexa standing by the doors. Sam said a quick 'bye' to her friend and took off full-sprint towards Lexa, not even caring that they weren't suppose to run indoors.

"Lexa!" Sam screeched.

"Squirt!" Lexa said back with just as much enthusiasm and scooted Sam up into her arms.

"You picked me up today?" Sam asked happily.

"I did. Your mom's outside." Sam's eyes lit up at the mention of her mom.

"Can we go see her?"

"Of course." Lexa carried Sam outside so they could go see her mom. Lexa was balancing Sam on one hip and holding her backpack in the hand. Clarke got out of the car upon noticing them and walked over to them.

"Hi, mommy!" Sam said happily and smiled over to her. Clarke walked up and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Hey, baby girl." And Sam smiled again upon being in the presence of her two favorite people. "How about we go get some ice-cream?" Clarke suggested as they all got settled into the car.

"Is Lexa coming with us?" Sam asked and Clarke nodded.

"Yay!" She screeched.

* * *

 

Lexa was putting sprinkles on top of Sam's ice cream since she couldn't reach it. Lexa got an ice cream cone, same as Sam and Clarke got a hot fudge sundae. Clarke picked out a booth in the corner of the ice cream shop and they all sat down. Sam slid in the seat next to Lexa and Clarke was opposite of them. Lexa eyed Clarke's hot fudge much like she eyed Clarke without any clothes on.

"You can have a bite if you want." Clarke said in a sultry voice knowing her daughter was too wrapped up in her ice cream to pay them any attention. A chill ran down Lexa's spine but she forced herself to think PG thoughts around Sam. Okay, PG-13. The way Clarke was licking that spoon had her stomach spinning in circles.

Lexa reached over and took a spoon full of the sundae and immediately closed her eyes and groaned.

"Good, isn't it?" Clarke asked lowly and Lexa nodded.

"Very." Lexa had to force herself to look away from Clarke. The things she was thinking right now weren't very innocent with a whole bunch of kids around with their parents.

"Sam, Lexa is thinking about getting a puppy." Clarke said as she looked over at her daughter who had ice creamed smeared all over her face.

"Really?" Sam asked with wide eyes. "That would be so cool. I would want to go to your place all the time." Sam said as she nodded over to Lexa.

"Nice to know." Lexa chuckled as wiped some of he ice cream off of Sam's face.

"I was thinking, maybe we could go look at some after this." Clarke offered and Lexa looked over to her. She set down the napkin she used to wipe Sam's face.

"Really?" This time Lexa was the one with the wide eyes.

"Well, if you are serious about this and I figured you helped me look for a space for the art gallery. I could help you look for a puppy." Clarke shrugged like it was no big deal. It was a big deal for Lexa (It was a big deal for Clarke too).

"I want to do that." Sam said happily and Clarke nodded.

"Then it's settled." 

* * *

 

They finished up their ice cream and drove down to look at the puppies at the pound. Lexa was actually thrilled about this. She had been thinking more and more about it and she felt like she could do this. It would be a great test for her. As they walked down the street, she picked Sam up because it was getting too crowded, Clarke was walking close by them. In fact, Clarke had a hand on Lexa's arm. Lexa couldn't help but think this was what it would be like if it was just them and Lexa was being selfish in this moment, she knew it but she didn't care. She had both of her girls with her and she was over the moon excited. They entered the pound and Sam got down to look at all the little puppies. There was one that immediately caught Lexa's eye. He was more tamed then the other puppies who were running around and barking, he was just looking out the window. From the looks of it, he was a Black Lab and he was a puppy and he was absolutely adorable. Lexa slowly walked over to him and upon her coming close. He stood up. He was so small and Lexa was already won over.

"This one," Lexa said quietly to Clarke and Clarke looked over to see which puppy she was talking about and smiled. "He's gorgeous."

The puppy waddled on his legs over to them. They were separated by a gate and Lexa reached through to pet him.

"Hello." She cooed and the puppy wagged its tail.

"Yup, its this one." Lexa whispered. "Sam, what do you think about this one?" Lexa asked and Sam walked over. Sam smiled brightly as she observed the puppy. He was very small, his fur looked so soft. It was a fluffy, black coat and he had brown eyes. Sam loved him.

"I love him!" Sam exclaimed and Lexa nodded.

"I think I'm going to get him." Just as Lexa said that, a worker came over to them.

"How can I help you ladies?" A middle-aged man asked.

"I would like to adopt a puppy. I'm thinking of this one." Lexa pointed at the Black Lab.

The man looked down at the puppy. "Oh, yes. He's a cutie pie. Been sitting here since he was born. He's only four weeks. He's good but he sometimes likes to howl at night. Usually because he wants someone to hold him." The man explained and Lexa nodded because she understood the puppy's pain. There wa someone she wanted to hold every night but couldn't.

"Come with me. You have a lot of papers to fill out. You won't be able to take him today. We have to process the paper work but he's definitely yours if you want him." Lexa did a little happy dance and followed the man to the front desk as Clarke went over to Sam. Lexa watched as she left. She heard the man clear his throat and she looked back over to him with a shy smile.

"Here's your paperwork." Lexa was so glad that he didn't comment on the obvious leering she was doing.

After she filled out all the paper work, she said goodbye to her puppy. She would be able to official have him in five days and Lexa was stoked. She made a mental note to go to the pet store and buy all the things he needed.

Once they got back to Clarke's house, Lexa didn't want to say goodbye but she knew she should. She hugged Sam goodbye and Clarke made a promise of seeing her later on tonight and Lexa walked away to her motorcycle.

* * *

 

She was getting some paperwork done for the bar when she heard a knock on the door.

"Come in!" She called and Clarke popped her head in.

"Hey." She greeted as she came in and Lexa stacked her papers in a near pile and went over to greet Clarke. She kissed her on the lips after Clarke closed the door.

"Hey." She sighed and went to hug Clarke. Lexa wrapped her arms around her and so did Clarke. They held each other way longer than they should have.

"I can't believe I technically have a puppy now.”

"I know! How exciting! Have you thought of any names?" Clarke asked as she slowly but surely started to unbotton her blouse. Lexa was a little bit distracted, but she answered.

"I like Charlie. Charlie woods." Lexa said and Clarke smiled.

"That's a beautiful name." She said quietly as she removed her blouse. Clarke then walked over to Lexa to remove her shirt. Once Lexa was out of it, she went over to her office door and locked it.

"The things I want to do to you should be illegal." Clarke said as she smashed their lips together and backed Lexa up into her desk.

"Can you remove these papers? I want to sit you down here." Clarke rushed out. Lexa quickly got to work moving her papers and Clarke helped her.

Lexa removed her own pants as Clarke did the same. With strength Lexa didn't know Clarke had, Clarke wrapped her arms underneath Lexa's thighs and lifted her up onto her desk. Lexa gasped as her skin met cold metal. They both had their hair up which they were thankful for. Lexa reached around and took Clarke's bra off as Clarke took Lexa's panties off. There was a huge wet spot in the middle of them and Clarke moan. Lexa had been wet ever since their hook-up earlier today and was itching for release.

Lexa kissed Clarke for a few minutes before she gently pushed her head down. Clarke got the hint and settled on her knees in between Lexa's thighs. Clarke scooted Lexa to the very edge of the desk and opened her legs. Clarke licked her lips as she was met with Lexa's swollen, wet pussy. Clarke's mouth watered because she was finally eating the meal she wanted. Clarke leaned in and licked up Lexa's folds. Lexa was spread wide before her and Clarke had a hand wrapped around her thigh.

Lexa held herself up by her elbows looking down at Clarke. Clarke kept eye-contact with her as she licked up her folds again. Lexa's chest was already heaving up and down and Clarke knew she was worked up. They remanded eye-contact the whole time Clarke ate Lexa out. Even when Clarke took her clit in her mouth, Lexa watched her. When Clarke slid a finger in her, Lexa's eyes still locked onto baby blues. Something about this was _so_ intimate and Lexa didn't know what it was. They would make eye-contact during sex but not for this long. They watched each other the whole time. Lexa wanted to throw her head back so many times but she wanted to keep her eyes on Clarke. She looked so hot in between her legs, eating her out while looking at her. Lexa could feel herself slowly starting to lose her self-control.

She couldn't count how many times she wanted to moan Clarke's name but she didn't  want any of her employees to over hear. She bit down on her lip to keep any noise from coming out, instead she settled for whimpering. She whimpered when Clarke hit that special spot inside of her, she whimpered when Clarke curled and scissored her fingers inside of her. She whimpered when Clarke licked and sucked on her clit. Lexa was losing a raging battle and she surrendered. She surrendered herself to Clarke, grinding her pussy up into her mouth as Clarke greedily drank her juices up. Lexa whimpered over and over again because that's all she could do. She didn't break eye-contact when she came. She kept her eyes on Clarke and Clarke kept her eyes on her. Lexa could feel her cum leaking out of her and knew she made a mess. Clarke slowly removed her mouth after she kissed Lexa's clit. Lexa jerked beneath her and Clarke came up for a kiss, not once breaking eye-contact.

There were no words needed for what just happened. It was down right _hot_. Clarke kissed Lexa over and over again as Lexa grabbed a hold of Clarke's hips and guided her to her thigh. Clarke quickly removed her underwear and positioned herself on top of Lexa's toned thigh. Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa as she sunk down on her thigh and started grinding. They both immediately moaned. Clarke was so hot against Lexa. Lexa scooted more towards the edge of the desk and Clarke had more access that way. Clarke leaned down to kiss Lexa as she picked up her pace, grinding her center back and forth on Lexa. Lexa held Clarke close as she thrusted on her. Lexa kissed every inch of Clarke's body she could, then moved up to her lips.

"You have to be quiet." Lexa whispered as Clarke let out a loud moan. Clarke nodded furiously.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. It was hot" Lexa said with a smirk as she captured Clarke's lips again. It didn't take long for Clarke to collapse against Lexa, moaning as quietly as she could. Lexa held her tight as her body shook out her orgasm. When Clarke was done, she looked back up to Lexa.

"Hi." She mouthed and Lexa smiled.

"Hey."

Clarke removed herself from Lexa's thigh to look down and see her thigh covered in cum. Clarke reached behind Lexa and got some napkins to clean it up.

They got dressed in silence, trading off smiles with each other. When Clarke was finished putting her blouse on, she walked back over to Lexa and stood before her. Lexa was a few inches taller than her and the hair she had in the bun, was quickly falling out. Lexa quickly re-did her hair and so did Clarke.

"You excited for the puppy?" She asked as she grabbed a fist full of Lexa's shirt and pulled her close.

"I am." Lexa said excitedly. "It's Wednesday. I should get him by Monday. He was so cute." Lexa gushed.

"He was," Clarke looked down at her phone. "I should go." She said quietly and Lexa nodded indifferently.

Lexa tried to school her emotions but it was too late. Lexa probably looked like she wanted Clarke to stay and she did but she knew she needed to go home.

"Tell your hubby I said hi." Lexa teased lowly and Clarke reached up and kissed Lexa on the lips.

"You know he'd like that." Clarke said into her lips.

"I know," Lexa grumbled between her lips. "He's probably going to schedule a play date soon. I can't wait." Lexa said sarcastically.

"Be nice." Clarke chided.

"Oh, yes. How could I ever hurt poor Finny's feelings." Lexa rolled her eyes and Clarke let out a giggle.

 "Call me later." Clarke winked at Lexa. Lexa watched Clarke walk away and she was swaying her hips.

"Oh," Lexa said as she stared at Clarke's ass. "I will."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There are mention of drugs in this chapter.

“Did you hear?” Lexa heard Anya ask through the phone. She was cleaning up around her loft. Clarke was getting ready to come over for a couple of hours.

Clarke had told Finn that she wanted to hang out with Lexa for the evening and he let her go. Lexa was more than excited that they would have a little bit more time together. She didn't really want to spend it talking to Anya.

“Hear what?” Lexa asked confused as she wiped down her counters. She heard Anya let out a deep sigh and Lexa prepared for the worst.

“Roan has a court date coming up.” Anya blew out and Lexa's blood ran cold. He couldn't possibly- there was no way- he can't-.

"When?" Lexa all but growled out.

"In the beginning of next month. Nia somehow pulled it off." Anya informed her. It was mid-October which meant his court date would be sometime in early November.

"Does mom know?" Lexa asked.

"She's the one that told me." Anya answered.

"Well, thank you for telling me-"

"Wait, Lexa."

Lexa hung up the phone before Anya could say anymore and she cleaned with anger instead of happiness.

* * *

 

The second Clarke walked into her loft, she started removing her clothes. Clarke didn't protest, she let Lexa undress her and Clarke backed them up into the couch. Clarke was getting ready to lean in for a kiss when she saw the anger on Lexa's face. Clarke immediately put her hand on Lexa's chest and stopped her.

"What's wrong?"

Lexa looked anywhere but Clarke. She didn't want to talk about it.

"Nothing." Lexa said as she leaned in to kiss Clarke. Clarke let their lips met for a brief moment.

"Lexa. You are tense and we aren't having sex until you tell me what's wrong." Clarke gave Lexa an ultimatum. Lexa got off of Clarke. Lexa was shirtless and Clarke was in her underwear. Lexa grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and handed it to Clarke. Clarke spread it out and Lexa joined her under the covers.

"Roan has a court date coming up." Lexa saw Clarke's eyes widened.

"When?" Clarke asked.

"Beginning of November."

"That's soon."

Lexa stayed quiet. She reached down and handed Clarke her clothes. She knew she ruined the moment. Clarke threw the cover off of her and got dressed as Lexa put her shirt back on.

"I mean, are you going to go to it?" Clarke asked.

"Hell no." Lexa said immediately and Clarke sighed.

"Maybe you should." Clarke said softly and Lexa huffed.

"You are so determine to fix everything but yourself." Lexa stressed and Clarke gaped at her.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Clarke asked offended.

"You know exactly what it means." Lexa hissed as she got up off the couch and into her kitchen. She went into her fridge and got out two beers. She slid one across the counter because she knew Clarke was going to follow her in.

"What do you mean, Lexa?" Clarke articulated as she popped the cap off her beer.

"You focus on other people's problems to avoid your own." Lexa explained through gritted teeth.

"You're one to talk, Lexa. You've avoided your mom for years and you shut out Anya, which by the way, hurts her." Clarke said back.

Lexa wouldn't like to think they are arguing. They could get into pretty heated discussions but they always resolved it.

"You should be thanking him instead of hating him." Clarke pointed out

"He's the reason she left." She said sadly.

"No, she's the reason she left. She made that decision. Not you, not Roan, not Nia. They play big parts in it but she's the reason she left. She was shellfish." Clarke said as she rounded the corner and walked over to Lexa.

She approached her slowly and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"I know this hurts to talk about and I'm so sorry. But, at some point you will have to face this. For real this time, especially if there's a chance of Roan getting out." Clarke said as she nuzzled her nose into Lexa's cheek.

Lexa held onto Clarke for deer-life. She didn't want to let her go. Not now, not never.

"I'm sorry I ruined our planned but unplanned evening of sex." Lexa said into Clarke's hair.

Clarke kissed the side of Lexa's head, "It's no problem. I would have liked to have sex with you but I like talking to you just as much." Clarke said.

Lexa looked down at Clarke, "Could we make out for a little bit on the couch?" Lexa asked with a hopeful smile and Clarke was already nodding before she finished the sentence. She knew they had a lot to talk about but she also knew how closed off Lexa could be sometimes.

Clarke knew that maybe they shouldn't have sex tonight. She could go without one night although she really wanted it. Lexa grabbed Clarke's hand and lead her over to the couch. Lexa sat down first and then pulled Clarke onto her lap. Clarke smiled down at her before she leaned in and kissed her. Lexa immediately kissed her back and pulled her close by placing both hands on her waist. Clarke melted into Lexa. Their bodies were molded together and Clarke leaned in for another kiss. Clarke wrapped her hands around Lexa's neck and stroked her hair with her hands. Lexa deepened the kiss and Clarke sighed into it.

"We aren't done talking about this." Clarke whispered into the kiss.

"I know." And Clarke pulled away from the kiss to see that Lexa was crying.

"Oh, baby." She cooed.

"Not yet. Please, let's just keep kissing." And Clarke could do that. She could kiss Lexa until she was ready to talk. She could kiss Lexa until she felt better. Clarke leaned back down and pressed her lips to Lexa and Lexa immediately opened her mouth. Clarke slipped her tongue into Lexa's mouth and Lexa wrapped her lips around it. Clarke let out a moan as Lexa smirked and sucked her tongue into her mouth, long and deep. Clarke didn't move but she tightened her grip on Lexa as she sucked her tongue into her mouth. Clarke reached down and grabbed one of Lexa's breasts. She knew they probably shouldn't have sex, Clarke really wanted to talk to Lexa about this, but she couldn't help herself.

Lexa released her tongue and Clarke explored Lexa's mouth with it. Clarke couldn't get over how perfect Lexa's mouth molded against hers. She couldn't help that her brain short-circuited and all she thought about was putting all her thoughts into the kiss. She wanted Lexa to know that she was here for her, no matter what. She would be there for her even if Lexa didn't want her to be. She wanted Lexa to feel safe in her arms and with the kiss. She wanted Lexa to tell her how she was really feeling. She knew Lexa had been walking around like nothing ever happened but it did. The whole situation was messed up and she just hoped Lexa could finally get passed it. Lexa bit down on her bottom lip and sucked it into her mouth. Clarke brought a hand up to cup Lexa's face as she deepened the kiss. She was drinking in all Lexa had to offer. Unfortunately, Clarke had to pull away because she was breathing hard and needed some air. Lexa chased her lips, but Clarke gently pushed against her.

"Hold on." Clarke panted against her. Lexa squeezed her tight and rested her head against her shoulder.

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere." Clarke said into her hair.

"But, you are." Lexa squeaked out.

"I could spend the night." Clarke suggested.

"Sam has another game tomorrow, it's okay Clarke." Lexa reasoned.

"Are you ready to talk about it yet?" Clarke murmured.

"I guess." Lexa sighed out.

"We don't have to."

"No, I've kept this in for a long time and you're the only one who knows how to get it out of me." Lexa confessed and Clarke pulled back to look at those gorgeous green eyes. Clarke could see the hint of her tears. She wished she didn't have to leave Lexa alone tonight. She wished she could hold her all night.

"You should talk to your mom." Clarke said seriously as she looked down at Lexa.

"I know I wasn't there when it happened and you stop doing all of that stuff but she misses you and Lexa, no one is going to tell you because they know how hurt you are but you aren't being fair. Giving Anya the cold shoulder. Not talking to your mom. It's not right. They had nothing to do with it. And if you really want to point fingers, maybe you should point them at yourself." Clarke said carefully as she looked down at Lexa and Lexa couldn't hold it back anymore. She let her tears run down her cheeks as she looked up at Clarke, hurt. She knew she was right. Clarke was right about how she shouldn't put the blame on anyone and if she really wants to, it should be herself. She was the reason why Roan wasn't here.

"Roan took the fall for you and you're here while he's in there. You shouldn't hate him for that. You can hate his mother all you want because I do too, but not him." Clarke said as she got up from Lexa's lap.

"Talk to your mom." Clarke said as she leaned over and kissed Lexa. Lexa kissed her back softly and they moved their lips together until Lexa pulled away.

"Okay."

Instead of having sex, they lounged around watching movies on Lexa's sofa. Lexa was more than happy, she got to hold Clarke all night before she had to go. She gave Clarke a long goodnight kiss after making a promise to talk to her mom.

* * *

 

Lexa was clenching and unclenching her fists as she walked up to her house. She never really had a house that was hers when she was younger. She couldn't believe the day that Indra adopted her and a huge part of that had to do with Roan. Lexa internally kicked herself, knowing that Clarke was right. It had been too long since she had seen her mother. She was shocked when her mom agreed so easily to meet her. That just proved how much her mom had missed her and Lexa kicked herself again for it. She knew she shouldn't had taken so long to get in touch with her mom but if Roan really had a court date coming up soon then it was best if she did. Lexa knocked on the front door of the house she spent her teenage years in. It wasn't really big like Clarke's parent house but it was a decent size and Lexa was proud of it. She remembered at one point being homeless and not having anything but the clothes on her back. A teacher quickly found this out and she got placed back into the system, something she was trying to avoid and then she met Indra.

Lexa was immediately drawn to the older women and Indra seemed to take a liking to her too. Indra knew right then and there that she was going to adopt Lexa but she didn't tell her because she didn't want to freak her out. The outside could use a little maintenance but other than that, it looked to be in shape.

Lexa waited until she heard the door unlock and opened. She was met with her mother and the sight almost brought tears to her eyes. She didn't realize how much she missed her mom. Indra looked good. She was wearing a pantsuit and her glasses.

"Lexa." She breathed out and Lexa went in to hug her mom. She felt Indra hug her back (more like squeezing the life out of her), but Lexa didn't mind, not one bit.

"Come in, come in. We have much to discuss."

* * *

 

_"Here, take this one and I'll just go after you." Roan said as he straightened up the white line for Lexa. Lexa nodded, out of it, and leaned down. She plugged one of her nostrils and snorted the white line with the other. She sniffed and wiped at her nose as Roan laid out another line for himself. Neither one of them knew that the place was going to get raided any moment._

_Lexa had enough cocaine to last her the rest of her life and she didn't know that her life was about to change forever. She knew that Costia was at the park waiting for her but she really wanted to get high first. She was currently living under Roan's mother, Nia. Roan was hardly ever home, seeing as he was twenty and Lexa was sixteen. Lexa knew she probably shouldn't be there with someone much older than her, snorting these white lines but she was. She knew she should be at the park with her girlfriend and probably doing her homework but she wasn't. It was Lexa's turn to go again and this time she made the line herself. She snorted it all up and then Roan went, but Roan didn't get a chance to snort it up before the police busted through the old-abandon building. Roan and Lexa looked up with a start. There was no way they could hide the amount of drugs on them. Roan immediately put his hands up and said that it was his. Lexa didn't get a chance to say anything but she was still pinned down and questioned._

_Lexa never met with Costia that evening. She watched sadly as Roan was taken away in handcuffs. She was still guilty by association and since she was a minor, she did thirty days in a Juvenile facility. Roan took the blame for her even though he didn't have too. He was older which meant he would do more time. He said the drugs were his but they weren't. Roan knew that Lexa was just staying with his mom until she got adopted. Roan knew if Lexa took the blame for this, that she wouldn't get adopted and would spend her days in Juvie. He knew that she would do some days but a month was nothing compared to years in prison. The officer asked why he had so much and he said he had the intention to sell it and they did. They were going to snort a few lines before they sold it to make some money. Lexa couldn't believe the events that happened and Lexa was glad that she was spending her time in Juvie then to spend it with the wrath of Nia. Little did Lexa know that while Nia was in jail, she went to visit her girlfriend. Costia was the same age as Lexa but got emancipated because her parents kicked her out when she found out she was gay. Costia was barely getting by and Nia knew this. Nia paid her half a million dollars to get lost and not contact Lexa when she got out._

_Costia quickly took the money and ran away with it, never looking back and never contacting Lexa. Right after Lexa got out, she got adopted. She didn't see Nia and when she found out what she did, Lexa didn't know what to say or how to feel. Lexa knew the whole story. She tried to call Costia over and over again but she never answered and when she got out of Juvie, she found out that Costia had fled D.C, with a whole bunch of cash. Lexa had never felt so hurt in her life and she wondered how she could be sent in Juvie for a month and Indra never said anything to her about it. Lexa gave Indra the cold shoulder_ _. She knew it wasn't ideal but she didn't know how to cope with the anger and heartbreak._

* * *

 

"I'm sorry." Lexa's voice cracked and Indra walked over to her and hugged her.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm gonna say this only one time. I didn't know what Nia was planning to do and I didn't know she was going to go after Costia. I can understand how you would think I knew but sweetheart, I didn't. I was focused on getting you out and adopting you." Indra said as she sat them down and Lexa felt horrible. She should've listened to Anya and Clarke but she was being stubborn because she didn't want to think about the past. She made a decision that messed it all up. She barely graduated high school and she never went to college, she settled with her bar and fell in love with it.

"I'm sorry." Lexa said again because that was all she could say and she really wished that Clarke was there.

"It's okay sweetie. Roan having another three years added to his sentence wasn't your fault. He got into the wrong crowd in jail and they found drugs on him," Indra said. "Nia is working like hell to get him out. He has a court date but we don't know how it's going to turn out."

"I don't think I'm going to go to it. If he doesn't get out, maybe I'll visit him but not yet." Lexa said quietly.

Lexa spent the whole evening eating and catching up with her mom. She felt bad that she avoided her for so long. Costia was nowhere in sight and that killed Lexa, she didn't know how to talk to her mom. But, she spent that whole evening trying.

* * *

 

"Hey, I'm going to be home late again." Finn said into the phone. Clarke had just given Sam a bath after dinner and figured as much.

"Fine. Okay." Clarke said and Finn sighed.

"I'll see you when I get home." Finn said and Clarke nodded even though he couldn't see her and hung the phone up.

It was eleven PM by time Finn got home. Clarke heard him noisily make his way up the stairs and immediately knew he was drunk. Clarke stayed put in bed and waited for him to come in. When he did, he threw his stuff down.

"Hey, baby." He slurred and Clarke nodded to him.

"Did you drive home?" She asked.

"No, I took a cab home." He said as he struggled out of his shoes. Clarke made his way over to him and helped him out.

"Thank you, babe." Clarke nodded to him and helped him remove his pants. Clarke knew he was staring straight at her when she did but she didn't make eye contact. She walked over to his dresser and got out some PJ's. Clarke was getting ready to put his pants on for him, when he stopped her and kissed her before she could do anything. Clarke's immediate reaction was to push him off of her but she didn't. She let him kiss her, she couldn't help but note how rough his kisses were compared to Lexa. He pushed against her and Clarke gasped when she felt his bulge against her thigh. She pulled away.

"Finn, stop. You are drunk." Clarke said.

"Oh, come on. You're my wife." Finn muttered as he backed Clarke up and pushed her down onto the bed. Clarke didn't have enough time to move before Finn climbed on top of her. She was pinned down by his weight and it was uncomfortable. Clarke tried to wiggle her way around but Finn grabbed a hold of her arms and pinned her down.

"Finn, stop." She said quietly. She didn't want to wake her daughter up but she also didn't want to have sex with her husband, especially while intoxicated.

"I can make you feel good." He breathed out as he roughly leaned back down and kissed her. Clarke pulled away after a second and Finn tried to kiss her again.

"No."

"Oh, come on. It's been so long since we've had sex. Come on, Clarke, please." Finn pleaded and Clarke shook her head. Finn still had her pinned down and it was starting to hurt.

"Finn, get off of me-"

"Why won't you have sex with me?" Finn asked desperately.

"You're drunk." Clarke answered.

"You're my wife."

"Get off."

"I love you."

"Get off of me!" Clarke yelled but Finn wasn't listening to her. He leaned down and tried to push Clarke's pants down. Clarke was starting to panic because she couldn't move. She saw as Finn reached down and tugged his boxers down and that's when Clarke started to thrash against the bed.

"Finn, let me go!"

"I wanna have sex!" Finn said stubbornly.

"Well, I don't! So, get off!" Clarke said loudly. She was trying not to be too loud with this situation, but she was slowly losing her mind because she couldn't move.

Finn leaned down to kiss her again and Clarke kneed him in his private regions. She saw as he doubled over in pain and finally let her go. Clarke quickly got up from under him.

"What is your problem?" Finn asked in a pained voice.

Clarke didn't answer him. She went over to her dresser and grabbed her phone.

"Pull your boxers up. We aren't having sex." Clarke watched in amazement as he did what he was told.

"Get in bed, Finn. You're drunk." Clarke wanted to slam the door behind her but she didn't. She quickly left and went downstairs into the kitchen, not before checking on Sam and making sure she was still sleeping.

Clarke went down into the kitchen and called Lexa. She picked up on the first ring.

"Hello."

"Hey." Clarke let out shaky and Lexa sat up in bed.

"What's wrong?"

"Finn. He came home drunk and he tried to have sex with me. He pinned me down and I couldn't move." Clarke said emotionally.

"Oh my god, Clarke. Are you okay?" Lexa gasped.

"I'm fine. Just shaken up." Clarke said and Lexa let out a deep sigh.

"Clarke, what are we going to do?" Clarke knew what she was talking about and she shook her head.

"You are only hurting yourself." Lexa said.

"So are you." Clarke said back.

"You have a family."

"You're sleeping with a married women."

"You let me." Lexa said and Clarke stayed silent because she knew she right.

"You need to talk to him. You don't have to say anything about us but it's clear that you guys have a lot of problems." Lexa said honestly.

"I know," Clarke sobbed. She wasn't sure when she stared crying. "I don't know how."

"Clarke you need to talk to him. Whether or not you want to come clean, you guys are clearing having problems in your marriage. You should probably talk to him tomorrow morning." Lexa said. They stayed silent on the line for a few moments.

"No matter what Clarke, I'll be here for you." Lexa promised. She knew what she was doing. She knew she was messing with a married woman and she probably shouldn't be.

"Thank you. You're right, this has been long overdue. It's clear we both aren't trying anymore. I should talk to him." Clarke said.

"It could get bad." Clarke said after a few moments.

"I know it could. This could go so many ways but Clarke it's clearly time something happen." Lexa tried to reason.

"I know!" Clarke sobbed. "I don't want to bring up the cheating just yet but I do want to talk to him about our marriage."

 "Okay. Do what you have to. I guess I'll just be here." Lexa said indifferently.

"Do you want me to stay on the line?" Lexa asked after a few moments.

"Please.”

Lexa stayed on the line all night with Clarke.


	10. Chapter 10

Clarke dropped Sam off at Raven's the next morning. It was Sunday and she would've dropped them off at her parents but they were at church.

There were so many things running through Clarke's mind as she drove back home. How would Finn react this morning? Would he remember what happened last night? Would they finally talk about the big elephant in the room? Would she tell him that she was cheating?

Clarke didn't know what was going to happen when she walked through the front door. Clarke was met with Finn sitting in the kitchen. He was holding his head in his hands and he looked up upon seeing Clarke walk in. Clarke didn't say anything but she went to sit down opposite of Finn. She looked him over. His shaggy brown hair was getting long and he had stubble. His eyes were casted down and they sat in silence. Clarke figured she should start saying something. The awkward silence was rubbing her the wrong way.

"About last night-"

"You had every right to act like that." Clarke was expecting a lot of things to come out of Finn's mouth. That wasn't one of them.

"I acted like a complete dick. I'm sorry. Married or not, I shouldn't have forced myself onto you like that. However, I think that there's a lot we need to talk about." Finn said as he looked over to Clarke.

"We've been lying to ourselves for a long time." Clarke started out and Finn nodded sadly.

"It isn't about the sex, Clarke. But, we haven't had sex in three years. We fight more than ever, I don't know what to do." Finn rubbed his hands over his eyes.

"Well, if you would just see that the art gallery is a good idea."

"Goddammit Clarke! I'm sick of hearing about this!" Finn yelled and Clarke glared at him.

"I'm not happy!" Clarke yelled back and her eyes widened when she realized what she just said. She couldn't lie her way out of this. She was trying so hard to not have this conversation and go along and pretend everything was okay, but things were so far from being okay.

"Me neither." Finn said quietly and Clarke felt tears spring in her eyes. Clarke felt sad about the whole situation. She had a pretty good idea of how it was going to turn out and she didn't want this for her daughter.

"It was clear we were trying to make it work for Sam," Finn said. "But, I don't think we want to."

"You don't support me." Clarke spat.

"I do, Clarke. I love you."

"No, you don't. Not like before." Clarke said sadly. She remembered them being young and in love and so happy for their first baby. She remembered the day they bought this house. She remembered Finn proposing over a candle-lit dinner. She remembered being so happy on her wedding day.

"You don't love me like before," Finn said sadly. "I can feel it."

"What do we do?" Clarke asked scared. She had been with Finn for years and it was her safe haven.

"Well, since we stopped lying to ourselves, maybe we should just spend time apart. We both can live together but maybe I'll sleep in the guest room. This would break Sam's heart and I wouldn't even know what to say to her right now."

"You're right."

"Could we ever go back to how we were?" Clarke wasn't sure if she could. She knew someone else was in the picture but even if she didn't want to be with Lexa, she didn't know if she could be with Finn.

"I don't know." Finn nodded again and then got up. Clarke had to ask. She knew she had no right, but she needed to know.

"Is there someone else?" Clarke asked quietly.

"My god, Clarke. No, there was never anyone." Finn said honestly and Clarke knew he was telling the truth and she felt terrible. She was  cheating this whole time while her husband had been nothing but faithful.

"Um, what about you?" Finn cleared his throat. "Is there anyone?"

Clarke knew this waa her time to tell the truth. To let her husband know of the secret she had been keeping for three years. Finn still didn't know and Clarke didn't know if she wanted him to know. She could lie, she could, but would she? Would she really sit here and lie to her husband about something so big? Their marriage was falling apart already and Finn didn't even know there was someone else. Clarke knew she should tell the truth and maybe she should've. She should've listened to the angel on her shoulder, but instead she looked at the devil. Clarke opened her mouth and spoke.

"No, Finn. There is no one." Clarke lied as she looked her husband in the eye. He was looking at her with soft eyes and Clarke was internally cringing. She should've told the truth. She should've.

"Okay," Finn seemed to buy her answer. "I'm going to go out for a bit. I'm not going to the bar, just to a co-workers house. He's a guy and he's married. I'll call you later so I can talk to Sam. I'm not going to have sex with anyone. I just thought I'd tell you that. I do love you Clarke but it's clear we aren't happy."

Clarke nodded, "Okay, Finn. I'm picking up Sam this evening so I guess you can call then." Finn looked at her one more time before he turned around and left. Clarke wasn't sure what she should do. She heard Finn leave and she went up into her art studio to draw.

Clarke couldn't quite believe the events that just happened. They both finally admitted that this marriage wasn't what they thought it was going to be. It was clear that they were trying to stay together for Sam's sake. Clarke's heart broke at the thought of having to explain this to her daughter. She was okay with staying in the same house as Finn, for now. Sam just started kindergarten and her parents are splitting up.

Clarke knewshe should be happy, that maybe she could _finally_ be with Lexa. Clarke knew she had a lot of things to work on when it came to her relationship with Lexa, but did Clarke really want to be that woman who jumps right back into a relationship? Clarke wasn't saying she wanted to sleep with other people. The only person she wanted to sleep with was Lexa and it would always be Lexa. She knew they could be something great one day, but did she want that day to be today?

Clarke went upstairs and she did what she did best, which was draw. Before she could even realize what she was drawing, she completed it and Clarke sat back, shocked at what she just drew. Was that how she perceived Lexa? It shouldn't come as much of a shock. Clarke knew she avoided her mom for years. Clarke also knew she avoided problems in her marriage for years too.

Clarke stared at the drawing before her and she stroke over it. Before Clarke realized what she was doing, she called Lexa and asked her to come over.

* * *

 

Lexa entered Clarke's art studio with careful steps. It wouldn't be the first time she had been in here. Clarke never let Finn in here. Clarke didn't tell her much on the phone and Lexa went over and sat down next to Clarke. Clarke was sitting on the hardwood floor instead of her stool. Her art studio was the only hardwood room up there. All the other rooms were carpet. Lexa sat down next to Clarke and pulled her close.

"What happened?" She asked quietly.

Clarke looked up at her with sad eyes, "We are probably going to end it. We both established that this can't go on any longer. We are going to keep living together until we figure this out. We don't know what to tell Sam." Clarke said as she played with Lexa's hands. Clarke pulled herself away to grab the drawing she made earlier. She was nervous to give it to Lexa. She didn't want her to take it the wrong way. But she was being so open and honest that maybe she should just show her.

"I didn't tell Finn that I was cheating. He asked and I lied." Clarke said angrily.

"Hey, a lot of things are going on. It's okay, I understand." Lexa said soothingly.

"Well, you shouldn't." Clarke said as she handed Lexa the drawing she made earlier. Lexa removed herself from Clarke as she took in the drawing. Lexa was focusing hard on it and Clarke started to explain it.

"The stuff around your eyes is war paint. You always have your walls up. You may not have them up when you are with me but you have them up," Clarke said softly as she turned and faced Lexa. "You've had them up since you were a teenager. You won't let yourself fully love someone because you are afraid. Costia left you in a blink of an eye and you're sleeping with a married women. You could love me, but you know there was a boundary. There was a way out because I was married. I know we could be so much more Lexa but you have to let us be. You have to face your demons. You have to remove your war paint and be loved. I don't know if I'm that person for you. You deserved more than this." Clarke said seriously and Lexa looked up at her.

"Clarke-" Lexa said but then she stopped.

"I know you so well, Lexa. I knew you enough to draw this. You deserve love, Lexa and I'm not saying I can't give you that but I'm realizing that this wasn't fair."

"I made this decision, Clarke. I could have backed out but I didn't." Lexa finally said something.

"I don't know what to feel right now." Clarke said emotionlessly.

"Don't shut me out because you don't know," Lexa pleaded. "Please, I knew what I was doing Clarke. I want to be with you." Lexa confessed and Clarke looked at her with hopeful eyes.

Did she really deserve a happy ending? Did she really deserve someone as beautiful and understanding as Lexa? She didn't think she did. She just ruined her marriage. She had been ruining her marriage ever since she kissed Lexa that night at the bar. Did she deserve to be with anyone?

"I'm a monster. I lied straight to my husbands face."

Lexa continued to stare down at the drawing. It was a drawing of her face. Clarke got all the detail of it right down to her high-cheek bones. Her eyes were coated in black paint that looked like tears leaking out of her eyes in three lines. It was clever really and proved just how much Clarke knew her. She was shutting herself off from fully loving Clarke. She knew she did love her but she did have that protection of not really being able to be with her.

Now that there was a possibility that they could be together, Lexa was scared. This could go south real fast. What if they weren't meant to be? What if they were only destined to be sex partners? What if they get together and it didn't work out? Lexa never wanted to know the answers to any of those questions.

"We can worry about that later. Things are really messed up right now." Lexa murmured but she was still staring at her drawing. Clarke did a really good job.

"I was thinking of painting it." Clarke said quietly and Lexa looked at her.

"You should. I love it." Lexa said honestly.

"Really?"

"Of course. You captured me just right. It's a little creepy but I love It."

They sat on the floor of Clarke's art studio for the rest of the morning. They didn't speak. They just rested against one another. Clarke was glad she had Lexa in this situation and had no idea what was going to happen in the days to come.

* * *

 

It was weird sleeping without Finn next to her. Clarke had been so used to spending nights with him. She wished it was Lexa for so many (all) of them. Clarke had gotten used to his body heat and his snoring. Not to say Clarke liked it, she was just used to it. She was used to the routine that they had and she knew that it was going to change.

It was the first night that they were not sleeping together. Last night he spent the night with his co-worker and he called Sam to say goodnight. Sam was sad that her father wasn't with her, but they made up an excuse, saying that he had some work to do for the night. Clarke felt awful for lying to her daughter but she wasn't ready yet. Once they say it, it would be real and one of them would have to move out. There would probably be divorce papers and maybe even a custody battle. Clarke didn't even want to think about that.

Clarke found it hard to fall asleep that night. It was weird that Finn was sleeping in the room next to her instead of beside her. In some way, Clarke wished things would change. She wished that they could stay together for their daughter but she knew that it was time to stop hiding behind the lies and behind the unhappiness. She drifted away from Finn, she knew that. She thought she would do it even if Lexa weren't in the picture. She cared about Finn, she did. She thought a part of her would always care for him. He was the first guy she ever truly loved and he was the father of her child.

She knew that her parents would flip when they find out that she was probably going to get a divorce. She thought they would separate for a while and then proceed with the divorce. They had to, they couldn't keep doing this. Clarke couldn't keep doing this.

* * *

 

When Clarke woke up the next morning, she went about her normal routine. She wasn't all that surprised that Finn was already gone and she went to go wake her daughter up and get her ready for school. After Clarke dropped Sam off to school, she went back home and painted the picture she drew of Lexa.

Lexa had kept it in the studio so Clarke could do so. Things weren't the greatest between them and Clarke hated herself for it. She knew she needed to say those things because Lexa needed to hear them. She strung Lexa along for the longest time for her personal benefit but she felt like in some way, she didn't. She knew her feelings for Lexa were valid. She fell hard for the girl. She wanted to be with Lexa but she didn't know how. It was only ever physical with them. They never went on dates or did romantic things together. Sure, they hung out loads and did things together. Clarke always liked to pretend that they were a couple but they weren't.

Lexa deserved so much. She deserved someone with little baggage. Clarke had so much baggage, you would think she's moving all the way to Australia and never coming back. She knew she screwed two people over in this even if she wanted to be with Lexa and if there was a possibility of doing so.

She knew a part of her had hurt Lexa. She knew Lexa wanted this and she didn't do anything about it. She just went home to her husband. Clarke wanted to be that girl for Lexa, that was all she wanted, but she knew she needed a little time if they were going to actually get together.

Clarke did the one thing she had been doing for a few years, she called Lexa. She didn't think she would ever stop. They were both in too deep and it was confirmed when Lexa agreed to come over.

"Hey." Lexa said as she entered the bedroom and closed the door. Lexa went over and hugged Clarke. Clarke held on tight. Her world was spinning out of control and Lexa was the only thing holding her down.

"Hey." Clarke said and Lexa sat down beside her.

"I want to be with you, Lexa. I just don't know how," Clarke said. She needed to get this off of her chest. "That's the only thing I want. But I just don't know if I can right now. I want you Lexa, I do. Does that make me a bad person?"

Lexa took a moment to answer, "No. At least, I don't think so. I wasn't expecting you to just jump into a relationship with me."

"But that's what you deserve. What if I keep you waiting, only to say I don't want to do this? I have a daughter to think about and I know she loves you but how will she react to all of this? I'm so scared, Lexa."

"Don't be. We will figure this out." Lexa reassured her as she kissed the top of her head.

"Why are you so understanding?" They both knew the answer to that. They knew when they were in the car before Lexa went to go pick up Sam. They knew the night of the family dinner. In a way, they always knew. It was unspoken between them and they didn't know when they were going to stop dancing around each other.

"I can wait for you." Lexa said instead of answering her question. 

"I will make this right." Clarke promised and she hoped she could keep it. She wanted to get this right. She wanted to make this right but she needed to talk to Finn more and they need to sit down and talk to their daughter. She wanted to spend as much time with Lexa before that happened as possible.

"Could we lay down for a bit?" Clarke asked softly and Lexa smiled over at her.

"Sure, but no funny business." Lexa teased and Clarke rolled her eyes.

"You would like that, wouldn't you?" Clarke teased back.

"I would." Clarke playful swatted at her as they laid down with each other. Lexa was the big spoon and she held Clarke for the whole morning.

Clarke wasn't sure how everything was going to turn out. She wasn't sure how her marriage was going to turn out, how Sam would react, how the court with Roan was going to go, if Lexa was ever going to face Roan or his mother again. Most importantly, she wasn't sure how talking with Finn was going to go and if her and Lexa would ever be happy together. Clarke wasn't sure about anything, but being in Lexa's arms made her sure about one thing: she was going to keep her promise to Lexa. She would make this right.


	11. Chapter 11

"I want to have another family dinner." Abby said into the phone.

Clarke rolled her eyes. She didn't want to deal with another family dinner yet.

"Mom, we just had one." Clarke pointed out.

"And now I want to have another one. I hardly see my daughter and her friends anymore. I'm getting old Clarke, I want to have another dinner." Abby tried to pull Clarke in.

Clarke knew her mom was trying to guilt trip her and it was working. She wouldn't mind being in the company of her parents but then again she knew she would probably have to go with Finn. It had only been a couple of days since they confessed how they really felt and they hadn't talked. They hadn't said a word to each other. They acted civil at the dinner table so Sam wouldn't ask any questions but other than that, they barely communicated.

"Okay, yeah sure. Maybe tomorrow." It was Saturday and they just got back from Sam's soccer game. Her parents couldn't make it and Lexa oddly just didn't show up but she understood why. She wasn't sure how all of this was going to play out. Lexa was becoming a little distance with her and Clarke wasn't really sure what to do. She understood that Lexa was trying to give her space, although she really wanted to see the girl. She made things a lot easier.

"Great! I can't wait!" Abby said happily. "I cant wait to see Sam."

"Alright, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

"Bye, sweetheart."

Clarke let out a long groan. She didn't know if she was going to make it through a family dinner. She didn't know if her family would make it. Clarke started when she heard the front door open. She let out another groan, knowing that was Finn. He went to the grocery store after Sam's game.

"Hey." He said quietly as he walked into the kitchen. "There are more bags in the car."

Clarke got up without saying anything to him and went outside to get the groceries. Sam was upstairs playing in her room. They ducked and dodged each other as they put their groceries away.

"My mom wants to have another family dinner." Clarke said and Finn looked over at her.

"Do we just act normal?" He asked unsure.

"I mean, we probably should. Just for this dinner. I haven't really thought of a way to break this to my parents."

"I understand. I'm happy to act normal." Finn said.

"Thank you."

Finn didn't respond, he just finished putting the groceries away. Clarke kept out the groceries she was going to use for dinner.

"I'll be in my office." Finn said awkwardly and Clarke nodded to him.

Once he was gone, Clarke felt lighter. She hated that things had gotten so awkward between them but it was bound to happen. She didn't know how to act around her own husband. She knew things between them had been tense but the fact that they had now addressed it, made her feel like she failed.

And maybe she did fail. She was the one that cheated, not Finn. She was five miles past guilt. She was straight up self-loathing. She knew what was going to happen and she didn't want it to happen. But she did. She needed it to happen so she could set herself free.

She didn't think she would feel this way but when you spend five years in a marriage, she guessed it did that to you. She didn't think she had been too hard on herself. She messed up and she knew it. She hadn't even told her husband that she was cheating and she didn't know what to do.

Clarke knew she shouldn't do it but she did. She should probably leave her alone but she didn't know how. She was drawn to this girl and she thought she always would be. She hadn't contacted her in a couple of days and her fingers were itching to dial her number. Clarke told herself, no. But when had she ever listened to herself?

"Hello." She heard Lexa's soft voice answer and Clarke immediately wished she was in the presence of the other girl.

"Hey, my mom is having another family dinner tomorrow. I know it's kind of sort notice but will you be able to make it?" Clarke asked as she cut up some carrots. She was going to make her homemade beef-stew.

"Do you think I should go? What about Finn?" Lexa asked.

"We just decided we would act normal." Clarke said.

"I don't think I should go."

"We don't have to make this awkward, Lexa. It'll be fine."

"I do love your mom's cooking." Lexa hummed.

"So, you'll go?"

"When have I ever been able to say no to Clarke Griffin?"

"Never, now that I think about it." Clarke teased.

"I'll be there." 

* * *

 

The whole ride over to her parents, Clarke stayed silent. She listened as Sam talked to her and responded when was necessary. She avoided eye-contact with Finn at all cost and it seemed as if he was doing the same.

Clarke sighed in relief when they pulled up and smiled to herself when she saw Lexa's motorcycle.

"Look mommy, Lexa's motorcycle." Sam pointed out.

"Yes, sweetie. That is." Clarke said as she got out of the car and open the door for Sam. Sam took off, running towards the front door where Finn was. Clarke chuckled to herself, at least she wasn't the only one overly excited to see Lexa.

"Lexa!" She heard Sam yell as she closed the front door behind them. She watched as Sam looked all around for her.

"Try the kitchen." Clarke said softly. She noted that Finn immediately went out back to help Lincoln with the barbecue. Clarke followed Sam into the kitchen and her heart stopped when she saw Finn and Lexa on the patio with Lincoln. Clarke tried to play it off.

"There she is!" Clarke helped her daughter out and went over to the back door to open it because she knew Sam couldn't.

"Lexa!" Lexa was holding a beer and talking to Finn when she turned around and spotted Sam. Lexa immediately put her drink down and opened her arms.

"Squirt!" Sam ran up into Lexa opened arms.

"I missed you." Sam said as she rested her head against her shoulder. "Did you get the puppy yet?" Sam asked with wide eyes.

"I didn't. I get him tomorrow though." Lexa answered and Sam looked over to her mom.

"Can we go to Lexa's after school, mommy?" She asked with big, blue eyes.

"If she'll let us." Clarke said and her heart fluttered in her chest at the thought of spending an afternoon with Lexa.

"Well, of course I'll have you." Lexa said with a smile over to Clarke. Clarke forced herself not to smile back, especially with her husband standing right behind them. Sam went off back into the kitchen to greet her grandparents, not before giving a kiss to Lincoln's cheek.

"What were you guys talking about?" Clarke asked suspiciously.

"Nothing." Lexa answered quickly and she heard Lincoln huff out a laugh. Clarke looked back at Lexa with pointed eyes.

"It's nothing, I swear." Lexa said with her arms raised in surrender.

"You guys are weak. They were talking about how they want to go to the strip club," Upon seeing Clarke's face, Lincoln corrected himself. "Not Finn! Just Lexa."

"He's right, I wasn't talking about it but Lexa wants to go." Finn said quickly as Lexa avoided her eyes and her cheeks were pink.

"Thanks, guys." She muttered and she walked back inside with her beer in her hand.

Clarke didn't want to do it but she knew she probably should. It was just her, Lincoln and Finn and by the way her and Finn were looking at each other, they didn't look too happy. Clarke looked pointedly at him and he quickly got his act together.

"Babe, could you get me another beer?" Finn asked and Clarke internally screamed at him calling her that.

"Sure." She fluttered her eyes and went back inside.

She never got his beer.

Instead, she went looking for Lexa. She wasn't surprised when she found her upstairs in her old room. It was still painted blue like she had it in high school. Her old bed was there and her dressers, but they were empty. Clarke used to draw on her walls and there was a drawing of her, Raven and Octavia from high school.

"Hey." Clarke said quietly and she closed her door and locked it.

"Hello." Lexa smirked. It was clear what Lexa wanted, that was why she was standing in the middle of Clarke's room. Clarke didn't say anything as she walked over to Lexa and kissed her. This was the first day their lips met in a while and Clarke missed it. She missed being intimate with Lexa, she missed touching her and feeling her inside of her. She didn't  know when they will be intimate again. Lexa kissed her back and Clarke moaned into the kiss. Clarke reached for the hem of Lexa's shirt and was about to pull it off.

"We can't have sex." Lexa whispered sadly and Clarke stomped her foot. Like Sam does, when she didn't get her way.

"Why not?"

But Clarke knew the answer. They couldn't, all of her friends were there and it was her parents house. There was an extremely high chance of them getting caught, especially with her daughter lurking around. Lexa didn't answer her because she knew that Clarke knew the answer.

"Are you really going to go to a strip club?"

"Why not? Anya wants to go." Lexa said back immediately.

"Don't put this on Anya."

"Me and Anya haven't properly hung out in a while, why not go to a strip club? Raven even said she could." Lexa shrugged.

"You can't be serious." Lexa eyes turned dark as she looked at Clarke.

"But I am serious," Lexa said as she took dangerous steps towards Clarke. "I'm very serious."

She kept walking and Clarke started backing up.

"I can't have you. I can't have Sam. Your husband won't leave me alone. I'm losing my mind," Lexa said darkly. "If I want to go to a strip club for one night and enjoy myself, then I will." Lexa had Clarke backed up into her dresser but Lexa gave Clarke enough room to escape.

"It's not a good idea to have sex." Lexa said as she stared down at Clarke's lips.

"So, you'll have sex with a stripper?" Lexa frowned at her.

"No," Lexa said slowly. "But, I will go if Anya really wants to. You could come with."

"Oh, I bet my husband will love that." Clarke rolled her eyes.

"Have him come too." Lexa added seriously.

"Lexa, are you still on drugs? What is wrong with you?" Clarke was starting to get angry.

"You're what's wrong with me!" Lexa shouted. "I can't get away from you and I'm not saying I won't too. But this is hard, having to see you and Finn in the same room. Having to see Sam. I don't really want to be here right now."

"Then, leave."

They both knew she wasn't going to though. She couldn't and that was the problem.

"What happened to sticking by my side through this?"

"I'm sorry for having feelings. I thought I'd share these feelings with you but I guess I was wrong." Lexa turned to leave but Clarke caught her by her leather jacket.

"Lexa, wait. I'm sorry. You can talk to me about anything."

"I just don't know what to do and I'm hiding out because I don't want to see your husband. Have you talked to him?" Lexa asked as she sat down on Clarke's bed and Clarke followed her.

"No," she confessed. "We are trying to focus on Sam. The fact that she knows we argue is more than enough for me. We are trying to be civil." Lexa nodded at that.

"Sorry for my mini breakdown." Lexa said and Clarke smiled.

"I knew it was bound to happen and I know this isn't fair of me to say but can we please just be open and honest about anything that's happening between us?" Clarke asked as she looked into Lexa's green eyes.

"I wanna have sex." Lexa said lowly.

"Me too!" Clarke broke. "I'm going crazy."

"I wanna taste you." Lexa whispered and Clarke nodded furiously.

"Me too. God, Lexa, I've never tasted anything better." Clarke breathing was shallow as she said that.

"Me neither." Lexa admitted.

"I want your fingers deep inside me, they are so long." Clarke said as she wrapped a hand around Lexa's neck and climbed on top of her. Lexa looked deep into her eyes. She wanted to do this but she knew they couldn't.

"I want to be inside you. You're so hot and wet around my fingers." Lexa voice was low and full of lust. Clarke started grinding on her. Clarke looked absolutely gorgeous. She was wearing a black skirt and a white blouse and it took everything for Lexa not to run a hand along her thigh and up into her skirt.

"But we shouldn't." Lexa said carefully.

"I know! It sucks but I don't think it would do us any good. Not right now."

Lexa was getting ready to respond when she heard Clarke's mom yell upstairs.

"Clarke! I need your help!"

Clarke sighed heavily, "I guess I have to go."

"I guess so." Lexa said and Clarke noticed the sad expression on her face.

"We will get through this." Clarke said as she got up and looked down at Lexa. Lexa got up with her.

"You look beautiful, by the way." Lexa said and Clarke smiled, showing her teeth and all.

"Thank you." Clarke said as she went over and kissed Lexa on the cheek. They held each other close for a few moments before Clarke pulled away and she silently left her childhood room.

* * *

 

This time, everyone was gathered around the dinner table. Clarke was by Octavia and Sam. Lexa was on the opposite side with Finn and Lincoln and Raven. Anya was sitting next to Octavia and Abby and Jake were sitting at the ends of the table. Jasper and Monty couldn't make it. Everyone was eating and enjoying themselves and Clarke was helping Sam cut up her food, she was glad for the distraction. Lexa was sitting right across from Clarke and at some point during the dinner, Lexa thought it would be funny to rub her foot along Clarke's calf. Clarke wanted to jump at the contact when she remembered she wasn't alone. She was far from it and she wished she was. She wished she could just run back upstairs and have her way with Lexa. Lexa was smirking at her, knowing full well the effect she was having on her. Clarke wanted to scream in a good way. Clarke wanted to scream that she loved Lexa. Clarke wanted to scream that she was having problems in her marriage. Clarke wanted to scream that she couldn't do this anymore. Clarke wanted to scream over and over again.

"So, are you guys planning on having another one soon?" Clarke dropped her fork as she looked incredulously at her father. She knew he was talking to her because she was the only one who had a kid.

Finn cheeks went red at that and Clarke gaped at her father. She tried to calm her heart down but it was beating hard and it was beating for Lexa. Clarke didn't answer right away but Sam did.

"A brother or sister would be so cool!" Sam told her grandfather and Clarke and Finn looked at each other. Clarke looked over sadly at Sam.

"Will I have a sister or brother?" Sam asked with wide eyes.

"I'm afraid not." Clarke said sadly and looked over to her dad. Her dad frowned deeply.

"Oh come on, I want another grand baby before I die."

"Jake, don't be so dramatic." Abby rolled her eyes.

"You said last night that you wanted another grand baby." Jake threw Abby under the bus.

"Well, I would like to-"

"We would have to have sex to do that!" Finn said loudly and with venom. Clarke's eyes widened and she looked over at her daughter. She saw her daughters eyes widened at Finn's outburst. She was so happy her daughter didn't understand what he said though.

"Finn!" Clarke astonished.

Finn didn't look in the least bit guilty and everyone stayed silent, seeing how the events were going to play out. Clarke looked at Lexa and tried to calm herself down. Lexa was looking at her with soft eyes and Clarke drank them in.

"Finn, excuse yourself." Lexa said softly and Clarke wasn't all that surprised that Finn listened to her. Finn got up angrily and went out back. Clarke sat there in shock at what just happened. Clarke didn't make eye contact with anyone.

"I'm sorry, Clarke. I didn't mean to cause any problems." Clarke wasn't going to cry. She couldn't, then her daughter would really know that something was wrong.

"It's okay. Well, now you guys know about are S-E-X life." Clarke spelled out sarcastically.

Clarke looked down at Sam to notice her wearing a frown. Clarke knew what that meant. Sam was getting ready to- Sam let out a heart-wrenching sob and Clarke immediately went to pick her up.

"Hey, it's okay baby."

"Daddy's mad." Sam's bottom lip quivered.

"I want Lexa." Sam said after a moment and she wiggled her way out of mother's arms and went to Lexa. Lexa immediately picked her up and cradled her in her arms.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Abby asked as Lexa led Sam out of the dining room.

"No, you guys embarrassingly know now. There's nothing to talk about."

"So, its true?" Octavia asked. Clarke nodded slowly and she got up.

"If you will excuse me. I'm going to go talk to my husband." Clarke said angrily and left the room.

"What the hell was that?" Clarke shouted as she slammed the back door. "You made our daughter cry, you dick." Clarke was heated and she didn't have those soft green eyes looking at her to calm her down.

"I'm sorry about Sam but I'm not sorry about what I said."

"You just fucking told everyone our business. We agreed to act normal. This isn't normal and now everyone knows."

"What do you want me to do? My wife doesn't want anything to do with me. Now, my daughter is probably mad at me. I don't know what to do. My family is falling apart." Finn sobbed and Clarke softened. She walked over to Finn.

"We aren't going to fix this, are we? We don't even speak to each other." Finn hung his head.

"I don't know Finn but having outbursts like that, it's helping no one."

"I know. It was stupid of me. I shouldn't have blew up like that. Maybe I should go. You can stay but I should go."

"Okay, if that's what you want. Maybe me and Sam will stay here tonight. Sam really wants to go over to Lexa's to see her puppy tomorrow and I'm going to take her." Finn nodded at that.

"I'm sorry."

They knew he wasn't talking about what just happened but the fact that he was leaving. In a way, Clarke felt like he was walking out on them and maybe he should. Clarke didn't  even know how to process the events that just happened. They knew he was saying sorry for the past few years. He was saying sorry for the failed marriage and Clarke couldn't help but cry. Because she failed too and she didn't  know what to do. She failed hard and she hated herself for it. Because her daughter was upset already and they didn't even tell her that they were splitting up. Clarke was sorry for cheating.

"Me too."

She wished Finn knew what she was really apologizing for. She didn't know if she would ever have the guts to say it aloud. Finn walked back into the house and so did Clarke. Clarke tried her hardest to stop herself from crying but it was hard. They knew the meaning behind Finn leaving and it pained Clarke to watch. She didn't think that she would be hurt by it, but she was. Her heart hurt and she walked back into the dining room as Finn gathered his stuff.

"You don't have to leave." Jake tried to argue.

"I'm sorry, sir but I should." Finn said as he put his jacket on.

"Where is Sam?" Finn looked back and asked Clarke who was watching him helplessly. Lexa walked into the dining room then with Sam on her hip.

"Hey, baby girl." Sam lifted her head to look at him but she didn't smile and Finn frowned.

"I'm sorry, baby girl," Finn said as he walked over to his daughter. "Give daddy a kiss. I'm leaving." Sam did as she was told and she leaned over and gave her dad a kiss on the cheek.

"When will you be back?" Sam asked in a small voice.

"You'll see your dad sometime tomorrow or the next day." Clarke answered her and Finn nodded.

"Okay." Sam said quietly and Finn looked back at Clarke, who nodded slightly. Finn nodded back and then he left. Lexa quickly walked Sam back out of the room before anything else could be said.

"Clarke, I'm so sorry-" Jake started.

"Don't be." Clarke stopped him.

"Are you guys okay?" Abby asked quietly.

Clarke thought about all the things that had happened. She thought of the morning they confessed that things weren't okay. She thought about how she was still lying to her husband. She thought about Lexa hiding behind her love for her. Clarke shook her head silently.

"No." She didn't say anything else but that and went to go find Lexa. They were sitting on the floor quietly and Clarke walked over to them. Sam was resting her head on Lexa's shoulder and she lifted her head when she saw her mom. She reached for her mom and Clarke scooped her up.

"It's okay, baby girl." Sam nodded but she didn't say anything. Clarke finally looked into those green eyes and felt a sense of calm wash over her. Lexa scooted closer to them and their thighs touched. Clarke was so grateful for the contact and was so glad that Lexa knew how to read her.

* * *

 

Some time had passed and Clarke finally got Sam down for the night. Everyone went home, including Lexa. Lexa went by the house and got some clothes for them to stay over night. Lexa told her that Finn wasn't there and Clarke nodded. She took the clothes and wanted to kiss her goodnight, but decided against it. Lexa understood though and nodded.

"Goodnight, Clarke."

"Night, Lex."

Clarke was sitting downstairs in the family room watching TV. Her mom was cleaning the kitchen and her dad was in the recliner, reading the newspaper. Jake had been oddly quiet the rest of the night and Clarke knew he felt bad. When Abby was finished washing the dishes, she came in and sat down on the couch with Clarke.

"Honey, talk to us." Abby said as she turned the TV off. Clarke sighed heavily and looked over to her parents. She remembered her dad walking her down the aisle. He was so happy to give her to Finn.

"We're splitting up." Clarke breathed. Abby gasped and Jake put down his newspaper.

"We aren't happy and we are just trying for Sam. We agreed that we would be civil for this dinner but look how well that went."

"I'm so sorry, baby. We didn't know." Jake said.

"No one knew, that was the point." Clarke spat.

"Is he cheating?" Abby asked. Clarke wanted to laugh at that accusation. Finn wasn't the one cheating, she was.

"No. And I'm not either. We just aren't happy." Clarke half-lied and Abby scooted over to rub daughter's back.

"I was trying so hard," Clarke cried out. "But it's not working. Our marriage is failing and I'm so hurt." She sobbed.

"Oh, honey," Her dad said as he walked over and sat down on the coffee table. "You guys can work it out."

"We are trying but it's not working. We will probably end it soon. We just need to talk to Sam first." Clarke choked out.

"Are you guys disappointed?" Clarke asked quietly. She knew how happy they were when they announced they were getting married. She couldn't imagine what it would be like for your own daughter to fail at marriage.

"Of course not. If you aren't happy and if you guys can't work it out, then maybe you should separate. It's doing no good staying together like this." Jake said seriously and Abby nodded.

"You are only hurting yourself, sweetie."

"I just want my baby girl to have two parents." Clarke said pathetically.

"Sam will always have two parents, that doesn't mean that they have to be together. Especially, if you guys are fighting and aren't happy sexually-wise." Abby said and this time Clarke nodded.

"Okay."

She wished she could tell them about Lexa. About how in love she was. Would that be weird? To just get out of a marriage and already declare that you love someone else? Clarke knew she loved Lexa but she also knew she wasn't ready. Her heart hurt, Finn wasn't  there and she knew that this was the final straw. They needed to talk to Sam and they needed to tell her what was going to happen. The house was under Finn's name and she had no idea where she was going to live if they really decided one of them needed to move out.

She wished she could talk to her mom about the girl she was falling hard for. She wished she could tell her all the things she loved about her and how she could never get her out of her mind. She knew she couldn't. She just told them she wasn't cheating on Finn but she was. She still was and would it be cheating if they weren't even together? On papers, Finn would still be her husband but mentally to Clarke, he wouldn't be.

Clarke knew Finn wasn't her husband anymore. He was a shell of what he used to be. She was so in love with him and she didn't think this was going to hit her as hard as it did. She thought they would separate and she would be happy but she was far from it. She felt guilty, angry and bad about what she had done for the past three years in her marriage and the fact that she was still lying about it made her feel even worse. What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she just come out and say it? Clarke knew she wasn't going to and she didn't know when she would.

Clarke stayed with her parents the whole night. Clarke couldn't go to sleep but she checked in on her baby girl and made sure she was. Her heart broke at what was going to come, that Sam wouldn't have two loving parents anymore and that she would have to go back and forth. Clarke didn't know if she could spend a night away from Sam. She knew she had done it before but she was with Lexa when that happened. She didn't know if she could spend a whole night alone, but maybe she should try it.

Clarke wasn't in the right head space to make any decisions about what her relationship status was with Lexa. Did they even have one? Clarke truly didn't know.

Clarke's heart and head hurt as she laid awake that night. It was even stranger that Finn wasn't even in the same house as her. She hated herself. _God_ , she hated herself because for the first time in a very long time, she wished Finn would be wrapped up with her tonight.


	12. Chapter 12

**Washington D.C.**

_3 years ago_

 

 _"What if she doesn't like me?" Lexa said as she straightened her white button-up again._  
  
_"She will. Also, not to freak you out but my parents will be here too."_  
  
_Lexa figured as much since they were going to her parent's because Sam spent the night. Lexa was shitting herself. She didn't know why she cared so much but she wanted the little girl to like her._  
  
_Lexa adjusted her shirt one more time as Clarke knocked on her parents door._  
  
_"Hey, baby." Jake said as he opened the door and kissed his daughter's cheek._  
  
_"Hey, daddy. This is Lexa."_  
  
_Lexa stretched out his hand to Jake and Jake smiled._  
  
_"They call me Jake Griffin." Jake greeted._  
  
_"They call me Lexa Woods." Lexa said back smoothly._

 _"Come on in." Jake said._  
  
_They walked in and into the kitchen._  
  
_"Hey, sweetheart. Sam's still taking a nap and boy, did she need one." Abby said as she rounded the table and gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek._  
  
_"I know, she's like you. She gets all cranky and you can't ask her to do anything when she's sleepy." Jake joked._  
  
_"I wonder where I get it from." Clarke said back. Jake stuck his tongue out to her and Lexa watched in amusement._  
  
_"So, tell us, Lexa Woods. What do you do?"_  
  
_"I own a bar." Lexa said simply._  
  
_"Oh, do you know? Can you mix me a drink?" Jake asked seriously._  
  
_"Honey, It's only two in the afternoon. You don't need to be drinking." Abby huffed._  
  
_"Fun sucker." Jake grumbled._  
  
_"But that's nice. You own a bar." Abby added._  
  
_Clarke heard a cry in the baby monitor on the counter and she went off to get her baby girl, leaving Lexa in the company of her parents. Abby was cleaning the kitchen and Jake was staring her down. Lexa felt awkward under his stare and he didn't stop until Clarke came back in, holding what Lexa literally thought was a mini version of herself._  
  
_Clarke's daughter was resting her head on Clarke's shoulder when Lexa tentatively walked over to them._  
  
_"Sam, I want you to meet someone." Clarke stated as Sam lifted her head. She looked just like Clarke and had her eyes. She had brown hair and she looked so small in Clarke's arms. Lexa was having a hard time believe she was two, she was really small._  
  
_"_ _This is Lexa." Clarke said happily as she looked over to Lexa._  
  
_Sam lifted her head and stared at the adult before her. Then, looked back at her mom's face and noticed the huge smile on._  
  
_Sam then looked back over to Lexa and decided that she was going to like her. She hadn't seen her mom smile that big before and she liked it. She liked Lexa._  
  
_Sam smiled at Lexa and reached for her. Lexa looked surprised at that action and so did everyone else. It took nearly two weeks for Sam to even look at Raven and Octavia without crying. They were shocked that she so readily wanted Lexa. Sam reached even further when she felt her mom not moving and she finally did. Her mom gave her over to the mysterious adult and she felt her wrapped her arms around her. Sam automatically felt safe in her arms and liked her even more._  
  
_Sam rested her head on Lexa's shoulder and then looked up at her. "Lek-sa!" She said and Lexa nodded._  
  
_"Yes, my name is Lexa." Lexa said with a smile._  
  
_Sam clung to Lexa the whole afternoon. While Clarke and Abby made dinner, Sam and Lexa played any game Sam wanted. Sam didn't pronounce her words the greatest but you could still understand her little squeak of words. Once Sam got tired of playing, she sat down on the couch with Lexa. Lexa was loving it and hating it at the same time. She didn't want Sam to hate her but she loved spending time with the little girl. She was so cute and looked just like Clarke._  
  
_"Mommy." Sam squeaked when she saw her mom walk through the door entrance._  
  
_"Hey, I just wanted to check in on you and also, Sam needs a diaper_ _change." Clarke said as she walked over to the diaper bag on the floor and back over to them. Sam was sitting on Lexa's lap and Lexa was getting ready to hand her over when Clarke stopped her._  
  
_"Wanna give it a shot?" Lexa's eyes widened and she immediately started shaking her head._  
  
_"I'm okay." Lexa said and Clarke chuckled._  
  
_"Oh, come on. It's not that bad. You just have to lay her on the mat and change the diaper."_  
  
_Lexa had never changed a diaper in her life, she didn't want to start now. But, then she looked over at Clarke's hopeful expression and she caved._  
  
_"Okay."_  
  
_Clarke smiled over at her and laid down the mat on the floor._  
  
_"Just lay her down here." Clarke_ _guided and Lexa nodded and laid the little girl down. Clarke handed her the diaper and some wipes._  
  
_"Remove her pants and the open the diaper." Clarke instructed and Lexa hoped to god that Sam didn't poop. By the smell of it, it was just pee._  
  
_Lexa was pretty proud of herself with the work she did. She did it in record time, she always feared that they will pee if she didn't hurry. Clarke nodded at her work._

 _"Not bad, Woods." Lexa looked over to Clarke with a twinkle in her eye and Clarke knew that look.  
  
__"Later, I promise."  
  
__Sam, Clarke, Lexa and Clarke's parents spent a whole evening together and Sam stuck by Lexa's side the whole night_.

* * *

 

Clarke yawned as she made herself a cup of coffee. It was early and she didn't sleep much last night. She knew her daughter was still sleeping and she turned around when she heard footsteps coming into the kitchen. She smiled over at her mother as she walked in. Abby smiled back and made herself a cup of coffee too. It was seven in the morning and the birds were chirping outside. Clarke sat down at the kitchen table with her mother.

"I was thinking of making some homemade waffles. I should get started now. I know you have to drop Sam off at school." 

Her parents didn't live far from Sam's school and Clarke was grateful for it. She knew she needed to get Sam up soon for school.

"That would be a great idea." Clarke said.

"So, you're going over to Lexa's today?" Clarke looked up at her mom questioningly.

"Sam told me she's getting a puppy today."

"Oh, yeah she is." Clarke said quietly.

"I want to talk to you about something. I didn't mention it at all last night but we need to talk about it." Her mom stated and Clarke looked confused. What did her mom have to say? Clarke really hoped it was nothing about her marriage.

"How long have you been sleeping with Lexa?" 

Clarke almost dropped her coffee all over herself. She quickly set her mug down on the table and got up.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Clarke said stubbornly.

"Clarke, I'm not saying I've cheated before but I know you. You're my daughter and I know you are a daddy's girl but you are my baby girl too and I can read you. You're sleeping with someone and I know it's Lexa." Abby said as she casually stirred the waffle batter. Clarke didn't know what to say. Should she just come out and tell the truth? This would be the first time she was actually doing that.

"How did you know?" Clarke asked quietly.

"A mother always knows," Abby said back. "I didn't at first. But, I started to notice that Lexa was different from Raven and Octavia. I saw the way you would look at her when you thought no one was watching. I know that look Clarke because that's how I look at your father. It's love."

Clarke knew deep down inside, that she loved Lexa. She knew one day, she would be able to fully accept it.

"I messed up." Clarke whispered and Abby finally looked over to her.

"Does he know?" 

Clarke shook her head softly at that and watched as her mom's eyes softened.

"Oh, honey."

Clarke went to go hug her mom. The emotions she was feeling, the heartache she had, she felt as if it was never going to go away. She was sick of feeling like this all the time.

"You know, the truth can set you free sometimes." Abby said into her hair and she believed it. Maybe if she finally told Finn, she would feel lighter. She felt tons of weights weighing her down and they kept adding to her back each day she didn't tell him. 

"So, you are sleeping with Lexa?" Her mom asked to clarify as she went back to cooking.

"I am. Please, don't tell anyone." Clarke begged and her mom nodded.

"I won't, not even your dad. Not until you are ready."

And Clarke hugged her mom again. They cooked breakfast in silence and Clarke knew she needed to wake Sam up so she could eat and she could drop her off at school. 

* * *

 

Lexa face-timed Clarke the minute she got home with her new puppy, Charlie. She was holding him wrapped up in a blue blanket. 

"Look at him." Lexa squealed and Clarke laughed.

"He's so tiny." Clarke cooed.

"I know. When are you coming over?" Lexa asked and Clarke looked at the time.

"I'll be getting Sam any minute and then we will head over."

Lexa was wearing her glasses today and she looked so freaking hot in them. Clarke couldn't wait to actually see her in real life.

* * *

 

Clarke held onto Sam's hand as they walked down the dim hall to Lexa's loft. Sam was hopping with every step, she couldn't wait to see Charlie.

Clarke knocked on the door and Lexa opened it.

"Hey." Lexa smiled wide and Clarke smiled back at her. She was getting ready to lean in for a kiss when she remembered that Sam was here.

"Hey, Lexa!" Sam said brightly as she hugged Lexa's legs.

"Hey, Sam." Lexa greeted with a smile as they walked in.

Sam immediately went over to Charlie, who was laying down in his bed. Sam was so gentle with him that they didn't feel like they had to stand over her. They went into the kitchen and stood where they could still see Sam.

"We are talking to her tomorrow night. I know it feels like I keep saying that but for real this time. She needs to know," Clarke said lowly. "One of us is going to move out. I've been looking at apartments."

"You could stay here." Lexa offered.

Clarke looked over to Lexa and she went through all the reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea and it wouldn't be. They weren't even together and they would be living with each other? Clarke didn't think that it would go down too well.

"I don't know, Lex. Maybe." Clarke said warily.

"I understand if you don't want to but the offer is here." Lexa walked further into the kitchen and grabbed a drink. She tossed one to Clarke.

"You still going to the strip club?" Clarke asked.

"Yup. Anya wants to go this weekend." Lexa answered as she didn't look at Clarke.

"Have fun." Clarke grumbled.

"Oh, don't be so upset Clarke." Lexa chided.

"Easy for you to say." Clarke stuck out her tongue.

"Are you ready?" Lexa then asked as she watched Sam lightly pet Charlie.

"Yes, it was weird. Last night, I just wished that everything would go back to normal. That none of this was happening and that Finn would just sleep by my side," Clarke said as she walked over to Lexa. "And then I thought about you and how wonderful you are and how you deserve more.”

"Clarke," Lexa started annoyed.

"You do! Anyways, my mom knows." Lexa stopped drinking and looked over to her.

"I didn't tell her. She figured it out. She's known for a while now." Lexa's eyes bugged out.

"Clarke! This is so bad."

"I know but she promised not to tell anyone." Clarke said.

"I'll never be able to look her in the eye." Lexa pouted.

"She doesn't view you any differently. She knows that I lo-" Clarke stopped talking because she realized what she was getting ready to admit. Lexa looked over to her with questioning eyes. Lexa didn't say anything about Clarke's slip up though and she was glad.

"He's so cute, mommy!" Sam said as she rushed over to her.

Clarke tore herself away from the moment and looked down at her daughter and smiled.

"I know." 

When Sam turned away, Clarke looked at her with sad eyes. She knew tomorrow would change everything.

* * *

 

Clarke looked over at Finn and Finn looked over at Clarke. They weren't sure how to go about saying this or if Sam would even understand but it was getting ready to happen. They were all sitting around the dinner table and Sam was sitting across from them, looking at them curiously. Clarke's heart broke at the happy smile on her face.

"Listen, sweetheart. Your mom and I are having a lot of problems. You know how we talk really loudly?" Finn asked and Clarke watched as Sam nodded sadly.

"Your mom and I decided that we are going to separate for a little while, okay?" Finn asked and Clarke tried to keep her tears at bay. 

Clarke watched as her daughter look at them confused, she didn't understand.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you happy, baby?" Clarke then asked. Sam smiled and nodded.

"Well," Clarke started out shakily. "Mommy isn't happy and neither is daddy and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Me and daddy aren't happy together so one of us is going to leave." Clarke explained softly.

"But, we are a family. So, we stay together." Sam said as if it was obvious. Clarke was finding it harder and harder to keep her tears at bay. She hated that she had to explain this to her five-year old.

"Sam, I'm going to leave, sweetie. You will stay here with your mom. But, I won't come home anymore like I used to. I'm going to live somewhere else for a while." Finn explained and Clarke was shocked. She stared over at him and he nodded.

The house was under Finn's name and she was sure that he would want to stay in the beautiful house he bought but she was taken back that he said that she could stay. She was already looking for apartments to move into. "Finn, you can stay-"

"You are such a wonderful mom, Clarke. You are here way more than I am. I want you to stay here and raise our daughter." Finn said seriously and she nodded, still a little taken back and focused on her daughter.

"But, mommies and daddies are suppose to live together!" Sam said upset.

"I know but not all not all mommies and daddies stay together, Sam." Finn reasoned.

"But, this isn't fair. It's not fair!" Sam yelled and she got up. Before Clarke could get up, Sam ran upstairs.

Finn didn't say anything and neither did Clarke. Clarke immediately ran upstairs and went to her daughter's room.

Clarke's heart shattered into a million pieces when she saw her daughter curled up into a little ball crying.

"Sweetheart," Clarke walked over and crouched down by her daughter. Her daughter was sobbing and Clarke didn't know what to do.

"I want Lexa." Sam cried out and Clarke couldn't deny her daughter's wish. Clarke immediately pulled her phone out and dialed Lexa's number.

"Hey, Clarke." Lexa greeted.

"Hey, listen. Sam is upset, like really upset and she wants to talk to you. We told her what happened." Clarke said quietly.

"Put her on the phone." Lexa immediately said. 

Clarke handed her phone to her daughter, "It's Lexa." 

Sam sat up and wiped her tears before she reached for the phone.

"You lied!" Sam yelled into the phone. Lexa frowned upon hearing how upset she was.

"You said everything was going to be okay and that my mommy and daddy love each other but you lied! My daddy is leaving and never coming back!" Sam yelled again and Clarke stared, shocked at her daughter's outburst.

"Whoa, Sam. Calm down," Lexa said. "What's going on?"

"Mommy and daddy are going to separate. We won't be a family anymore!" Sam cried and Lexa felt bad.

She knew that Clarke and Finn had their own problems, but Lexa couldn't help but feel the least bit guilty that she was messing with Clarke. Sam was really upset and she didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry, Sam. But, things happen and sometimes things aren't always going to be okay." Lexa said softly.

"Why can't they stay together?" Sam asked, even though Clarke was sitting right beside her.

"If mommy isn't happy then they shouldn't. Don't you want mommy to be happy?" Lexa asked, knowing the answer.

"Yes." Sam nodded.

"If mommy isn't happy with daddy, then she should try to be happy and if that means they have to take some time to themselves then you ought to let them. I know it sucks, you are very young but it's going to happen and you have to let it. You have to be strong in this, Sam. I know how strong you can be. Can you be strong through this?" Lexa asked.

"I can try." Sam sniffed.

"That's my girl." Lexa smiled.

"I love you, Lexa." Sam said quietly.

"Well, I love you too, Squirt," Lexa said. "Put your mom back on the phone."

Sam handed the phone back to Lexa as Finn entered the room.

"Are you okay?" Lexa asked. Clarke looked over at Finn as he walked further into the room and hugged his daughter.

"I will be." Clarke whispered and then hung up the phone.

Finn looked up at Clarke and then back to his daughter.

"I gotta go, baby girl." Finn whispered.

Sam nodded sadly as Finn walked out of the room and Clarke followed. Clarke watched as Finn awkwardly packed his bags. 

"I guess we can arrange a weekend where she can stay with you. Where are you staying?" Clarke asked.

"A hotel for now. I'm going to buy an apartment, just not yet." Finn answered and he walked over to his side of the bed.

Clarke watched as he picked up their wedding picture and Clarke let a few tears slip out. She looked over and noticed Finn crying too.

"I guess this is it." Finn said sadly and Clarke nodded.

"I guess." She cried out.

"I'm sorry." Finn said.

"I know. Me too."

Finn gathered his stuff on the night stand and he left the wedding picture. When Finn was done, Clarke spoke.

"Thank you for letting me stay here. I was looking at apartments." She said.

"It's no problem, Clarke. I wasn't going to do that to you. Your art studio is here. If things really do get worst, I want you to have the house." Finn said seriously and Clarke nodded. Clarke got up and walked over to Finn.

"Goodbye, Finn." Clarke reached out and stroked the side of his face.

"Goodbye, Clarke." 

Finn picked his bags up and he walked out the door. He walked out on his family. He left his two girls behind and he felt terrible.

Clarke sat back down on the bed and she wondered what she was going to do next.

She knew.

She always did.

She called Lexa back.

* * *

 

Clarke dropped Sam off at her mom's and her mom smirked when she told her she was going to see Lexa.

"It's not like that." Clarke said quickly. She didn't want to be that mom that dropped her kid off so she could go have sex. She didn't know what was going to happen when she went over to Lexa's, she just wanted to see her. Abby nodded and Clarke said goodbye to Sam. 

 

"So, where is he now?" Lexa asked as Clarke told her the events that happened.

"He's just going to stay at a hotel for now. I told him how I was looking for places but he said he wanted me to stay in the house. He will probably just get Sam on the weekends." Clarke explained as she buried herself in Lexa's couch. Lexa saw the absolute hurt on Clarke's face and she felt for the girl.

"I mean, that's if he even wants her." Clarke added bitterly. 

Lexa stood up and grabbed one of her pillows off the couch.

"Stand up." Lexa instructed and Clarke looked at her confused.

"Come on, trust me. Stand up." Lexa said once again and Clarke finally stood up. 

Lexa held out the pillow in front of her chest.

"Hit it." Lexa instructed. Clarke's first instinct was to laugh and she did. 

"Lexa-" Clarke chuckled out.

"Hit it. Don't think about me or about hurting me because you won't. Hit the pillow and block everything else out." Lexa said and Clarke listened to her carefully. She would be lying if she said that she didn't have any built up anger because she did, she had a lot of it and she knew she was really hitting the pillow but in a way, she felt like she would be hitting Lexa.

"I don't want to hurt you." Clarke said warily.

"You won't. Hit it." Lexa said softly and Clarke gave her a soft, barely there hit. Lexa laughed.

"I'm gonna need you to hit me a little harder than that, baby." Lexa said and Clarke looked at her. Lexa wiggled the pillow and Clarke gave another weak punch.

"You cheated." Lexa sneered out and Clarke glared up at her.

"Your marriage is over." Lexa said to get a rise out of Clarke.

"Your daughter is upset." 

Clarke swung at that and she swung hard.

"Ooo, she knows how to hit." Lexa baited her.

Clarke swung hard again and hit the pillow.

She hit it again.

"Good, Clarke. Let it all out."

Clarke didn't realize how much she really needed this until she was really doing it. And she wanted to cry because once again, Lexa knew what she needed without her knowing what she needed.

Clarke swung and hit the pillow over and over again.

She punched it and thought about Finn. She punched it and thought about how she failed at her marriage. She punched it and thought about Lexa. She punched it and thought about her daughter and she punched it and thought about herself.

She punched hard when thought about herself and how stupid she was. She punched the pillow hard when she finally realized that she was lying to herself. She punched the pillow until she cried. Lexa lowered the pillow and pulled Clarke in for a hug.

"Shh, it's okay." Clarke was breathing hard when she was done and she sobbed.

"Thank you." Clarke sobbed and Lexa nodded against her.

"You're welcome."

"I'm a mess." Clarke chuckled sadly.

"You just got out of a marriage. I'd be worried if you weren't." Lexa sighed.

"I'm not a mess because of Finn. I'm just- I don't know." 

"I know." Lexa said as she lowered them to the couch.

"Thank you." Clarke said again.

"You're welcome,” Lexa said again. "We all have demons and we all have a past," Lexa started out softly as she held Clarke. "You were right. I was hiding behind the fact that you were in a marriage. I was wearing my war paint the whole time because I knew I wouldn't fully be able to be with you. We both have a lot of things to work out and it's okay." Lexa said and Clarke looked up at her. She thought about what she almost said to her in the kitchen the other day and how scared she was.

"One day." Clarke whispered and Clarke reached for Lexa's hand. Lexa held onto Clarke's hand and kissed the back of it.

"One day." Lexa murmured.


	13. Chapter 13

"Oh, my god. Baby, no. This is terrible." Clarke grimaced as she spit the mouth full of alcohol back out into the drink. Lexa frowned at her from behind the bar.

"I was sure I had it this time." Lexa persisted.

"Try less alcohol." Clarke recommended and Lexa mixed her another drink and slid it over to her. Clarke took a sip of it and hummed.

"Way better." Clarke smirked and Lexa smiled.

"Should I add it to the menu tonight?" Lexa asked and Clarke nodded.

"That's a good drink. You're good at mixing drinks, babe."

"Well, I guess that's why I own a bar." Lexa played off.

Ever since what happened at Lexa's, they have felt less of a negative vibe when it came to them. They felt a lot lighter in each other's company. Lexa knew going to the strip club tomorrow was probably going to ruin it, but she would be lying if she said she didn't want to go. She wanted to go.

"You miss Sam?" Lexa asked knowingly.

"Oh, my god. Yes!" Clarke pouted as she rested against the counter of Lexa's bar. She wasn't open yet, it was only two in the afternoon. It felt weird, knowing that she didn't have to go pick up Sam in an hour and a half.

She had always gotten Sam, but Finn and Clarke agreed that Finn would pick her up and take her back to his hotel. It was Friday and he was going to keep her until Sunday night. Clarke hated that they are already putting Sam through the back and forth but it had to happen. She didn't want to keep her daughter from seeing her dad, even though Clarke was the one who took care of her more. Clarke wasn't trying to criticize Finn in any way, it was just the truth. She had more of a flexible schedule, a _way_ more flexible schedule than Finn.

Clarke was going to spend the whole weekend without Sam and she felt lost. Lexa was going to the strip club tomorrow and Clarke wasn't going with her. Clarke wanted to see Lexa at some point this weekend but she wasn't sure how to bring it up.

Little feet paddling across the floor broke Clarke from her thoughts. Clarke smiled down at Charlie and picked him up. Lexa was a little wary of bringing him into her business but she wasn't opened yet and Lexa literally owned this bar, her name was the only name attached to it. She figured she would take the little guy in for a little bit while she did inventory and she also invited Clarke because she needed her daily dose of her like a damn crack addict.

Charlie hadn't peed not once on her hardwood floors and Lexa was so thankful for it. She had wee-wee pads all over her office and he knew that if he needed to use the bathroom, to go to her office. Charlie wasn't staying there all night while she worked, Clarke was going to take him home before she opened and stay with him until she came home.

"You'll see her again on Sunday." Lexa pointed out as she cleaned up the mess from mixing the new drink together.

"I know! But what am I going to do all weekend? And, you are going to a strip club." Clarke grumbled.

Clarke has expressed, in various ways, that she didn't support this and Lexa hated that she was thinking this way, but she secretly liked it. In a way, Clarke's hatred for this idea makes her think she was jealous. Lexa liked to believe she was.

What if Clarke was jealous? What would that say? Lexa knew of Clarke's almost slip-up, but she would never hold that against her. She knew neither one of them were ready to say those words yet, but she couldn't help but imagine what it would be like. What if she got her happy ending? What if she got Sam and Clarke? What if she stopped hiding behind her mask of feelings and fully learned how to love Clarke? Lexa knew this could happen and she wished it just would.

"We'll hang out tonight. No funny business, you could stay the night. I'm not getting home until like two in the morning. You would be sleep by then, so would Charlie. Thanks for doing this, by the way." Lexa added.

"It's no problem. Look at him." Clarke aas willing to admit that she had an obsession with the puppy. He was so damn cute.

"The guy at the pound told me he likes to howl at night and he does. He usually sleeps in the bed with me. I'm just warning you now, he's spoiled. He doesn't sleep in his bed at all at night. He can't jump up in my bed because it is way too high. I'm just giving you a fair warning, it's a lost cause trying to put him to sleep in his bed tonight, he will howl at you." Lexa warned as she looked at her puppy in Clarke's arms. Clarke looked good with a puppy on her arm. Clarke looked good with anything on her arm.

"Is that right?" Clarke cooed.

"He'll sleep in his bed if he's napping but for a whole night, he won't," Lexa informed her and Clarke nodded. "He has wee-wee pads all through the loft. Mostly, right by his bed in my room. You're going to have to wake up halfway through the night and let him use it. I should be home by then though."

Lexa's heart sped up at the thought of coming home to Clarke. She was actually going to do that tonight and she couldn't wait. She couldn't wait to come home and see her puppy and see the girl she was in love with in her bed. That was all she wanted.

"You're coming home to me." Clarke sighed, like she read Lexa's thoughts.

"I am." Lexa said with a goofy smile and Clarke matched it. They looked at each other and knew what the other was thinking. They didn't have to say it out loud, they both have wanted this for the longest time.

* * *

 

Clarke knew she shouldn't have done it, but she just wanted to test it. Lexa had this puppy absolutely spoiled and she hadn't even had him for a whole month yet. Charlie wouldn't leave her side the whole night and Clarke knew all Lexa did was hold him because he kept trying to climb up her leg to get her to pick him up. Clarke couldn't help but imagine Lexa holding Charlie for the night as she watched TV or ate dinner. Lexa was such a sweetheart.

Clarke tested out if he wouldn't actually sleep in his bed and he didn't. At first, he was okay. She went to go shower and went to her overnight bag to change into pajamas. She climbed into bed after she fed Charlie and he seemed perfectly fine. Clarke thought about her daughter as she watched TV, until she dosed off. She was woken up an hour later to a loud howl.

Clarke immediately woke up and looked at to source of the noise. Charlie was standing up on his little legs, looking straight at her and he was _howling_. Like a literal howl, it was loud but it wasn't as loud as she knew it could be because he was so small but it was a howl, nonetheless. Clarke stared at him and he looked at her as he howled again. Clarke saw that he was getting ready to howl again, before she finally went to get him.

"Wow, Lexa wasn't joking." Clarke watched in amusement as his howls immediately stopped once she placed him in Lexa's bed and he got cozy.

Clarke watched as his little eyes closed immediately once he found his favorite spot, which was a little off to her side. Clarke chuckled and went back to sleep too.

Clarke was woken up four hours later to Lexa entering the room. Clarke faintly listened as Lexa went to go shower and do her nighttime routine. Clarke was tired but she listened to Lexa with a smile on her face. And she opened her eyes when she felt the bed dip and she stared up at her beautiful girl.

"You were right. This puppy is spoiled. You spoiled him." Clarke murmured sleepily and Lexa tried to carefully climb into bed but Charlie already woke up upon smelling his favorite human. He hopped over to Lexa and Lexa scooped him up.

"Hey, baby boy." Lexa cooed as she kissed his head and Clarke watched with a happy smile. Lexa laid down beside her and put Charlie between them.

"I'd spoil you." Lexa flirted and Clarke smiled again.

"Would you?" Clarke asked with wide, sleepy eyes.

"Of course. You and Sam would be spoiled rotten."

Clarke believed it, it only took a week for Lexa to spoil Charlie. Clarke knew if she was finally with Lexa, that she wouldn't be able to get enough of the girl. She could barely get enough of her now.

"This is what it's like." Clarke said dreamily and Lexa nodded.

"I loved coming home to you. You looked so cute asleep with Charlie." Lexa said as she rubbed Charlie's stomach so he could go back to bed.

"I want this all the time." Clarke said before she could stop herself. But she didn't regret it. She wanted Lexa to know.

"Me too." She heard Lexa say before Clarke fell back asleep.

* * *

 

"Raven said I can look but I can't touch." Anya smirked as they got out of the car. Lexa didn't notice know what to think right now, a huge part of her didn't want to be here at all but she knew Anya wanted to go, and a part of her wanted to go too. Lexa could hear the bass of the music all the way from the parking lot and she was excited.

"What about you?" Anya asked as they entered the club and Lexa was met with a whole bunch of half naked girls and she was a little overwhelmed. Lexa knew she should be staring these girls down but she didn't want to. Her head wasn't here, it was with Clarke.

"What about me?" Lexa asked coolly as they sat down at one of the tables. A dancer immediately came over to them and got on top of the table. She was a cute girl but Lexa cursed in her head when she saw that this girl had blonde hair, like Clarke.

"Are you going to look and touch? This girl is hot." Anya said and Lexa agreed with her but she felt awkward. No one knoew about her and Clarke and she tended to keep it that way. She knew Abby knows now, but she also knew that Abby was one to keep her word and she wouldn't tell anyone unless they wanted to.

Lexa was seeing how this was a bad idea and when the dancer dropped down in front of her and gave her a flirtatious smile, Lexa felt really out of place. She didn't want this, a whole bunch of half naked girls around her. Lexa was starting to feel claustrophobic.

She knew she should just relax and enjoy herself. She already gave out a few dollar bills to the dancer as Anya did too but she found it hard to fully relax. She didn't want this, she wanted Clarke and she wanted Sam. She didn't want this girl who was giving her bedroom eyes. She didn't want this girl who had blonde hair like Clarke. She actually wanted Clarke and when the girl reached for her, she gently pushed her off and got up.

Anya looked over at her confused, "I'm sorry. I can't." Lexa wanted to slap herself for acting like that in front of Anya. For Anya, she thought that Lexa was single and maybe Lexa just didn't want to be touched by a girl who had touched so many other people just in one night. But, Anya knew the look on Lexa's face and Lexa bolted before she could say anything. Anya immediately went after her.

Lexa wanted to slap herself for turning away the girl. She knew the look she was giving her because Clarke gave her that look before they had sex. She didn't want anyone else but Clarke looking at her like that and she didn't want to look at anyone else. Lexa felt so pathetic because she wasn't even in the club for more then twenty minutes before she was bolting like a little baby. But, she couldn't help it. She wanted Clarke, she wanted to see her and she didn't know why she was so pumped up to come here. It did nothing for her, she didn't even need to be in the company of the stripper for more than five minutes before she knew she made a mistake. She needed to go see Clarke. She needed to talk to her.

"Hey, what was that?" Anya called as she finally caught up with her. "That girl was giving you bedroom eyes."

Lexa knew this and that was the exact reason why she was out here. She knew that the stripper reaching for her wasn't part of the act. She didn't know what would happen if she didn't politely decline. The stripper probably would've taken her into the back and they probably would have had some type of sexual encounter, but Lexa didn't want that. She wanted Clarke and she wanted Sam.

"I'm sorry. I thought this was a good idea but I just want to go home." Lexa said lamely, but Anya saw the look on her face and decided not to question it.

"Okay," They got into the car quietly. "Does this have to do with Roan?" Anya asked quietly.

"No," Lexa said seriously. "I was such a dick to you guys but I'm moving on from that but I don't want to do it like this."

"I understand. I'm sorry." Anya said sincerely.

"Don't be. It was still nice to experience but it just wasn't for me."

Hanging out with Clarke and building blocks with Sam was more for her. Curling up in bed with Charlie and Clarke was more for her. Picking Sam up for school and them going out to eat after was more for her. Lexa didn't realize it before, but she realized it now. She was never a family person. Sure, she had her mom and her foster sister, Anya and her father, Gustus but look how much time she spent with them. She knew she needed to try harder but still, she didn't realize how much time she actually spent with Clarke and Sam and how much more she wanted to. She wasn't aware of her lifestyle until now.

She was a family person and that was a hard thing for Lexa to admit because families can hurt you. Lexa knew she already admitted to Clarke that she was hiding behind the mask of her emotions, but she didn't want to do that anymore. Could her, Sam and Clarke all be together as a family? Would Sam even view her as a parental figure? Lexa knew she was thinking hard about this, but couldn't help it. She was realizing that she wouldn't have a problem being a family person. For the longest time, it was just been her in her loft and she was realizing how much she wanted to change that. She wanted to be a family with Clarke and Sam.

She made a dinner date with Anya and they planned to discuss a lot of things after Anya dropped Lexa back to her loft. Lexa apologized again for ruining the night but Anya was fine with it and was happy that Lexa actually scheduled dinner with her. Lexa was happy too. She missed Anya.

When Lexa got back, she took Charlie out from his cage and let him use the bathroom, he was whining at her to pick him up when he finished. Lexa scooped up Charlie and called Clarke, hoping she was going to pick up.

"Hey." Clarke greeted casually.

"Can you come over?" Lexa asked quickly and normally, that was code for sex, but they weren't sure what was going to happen when Clarke arrived. They were both so strung out on each other that Clarke readily agreed.

Lexa tried to hug Clarke when she arrived, but Clarke quickly rejected it.

"How was the strip club?" Clarke sneered.

"I bolted." Lexa admitted and Clarke took her jacket off and sat down on the couch. She reached her arms out and Lexa handed over Charlie.

"Did you?" Clarke asked indifferently as Charlie licked her face.

"Yes, Clarke. I thought about you the whole time that's why I called, I had to see you. I made a dinner date with Anya to make up for tonight but I just had to see you." Lexa ended lamely and sat down next to Clarke.

"It made me realize a lot of things. I mean, this was stuff I already knew. Tonight, it just put it in perspective." Lexa said as she stood up.

"I have pizza, I ordered it. Do you want some?" It was ten o'clock at night but Clarke nodded and Lexa went to go get her a slice and a beer. She handed it over to Clarke and sat back down with her own slice of pizza and a beer.

"What did it put in perspective?" Clarke asked curiously.

Lexa took a huge breath, "You and Sam. How much you guys mean to me. I was never a family person and I'm trying to get better at that but I want to be here for you and Sam. I don't want to be at the strip club and I don't want to be with anyone else. Just you, Clarke. You and Sam. I miss you." Clarke finished up her pizza before she spoke.

"Really?" Lexa nodded and put her empty plate down. Clarke did the same and she tentatively climbed on top of Lexa. Clarke closed her eyes at being so close to the girl.

"I miss you too." Clarke whispered and she looked down to Lexa's lips.

"We shouldn't." Lexa said and Clarke nodded but she wasn't paying attention. Clarke's eyes zeroed in on Lexa's lips before she couldn't take it anymore and she leaned in and kissed her. Lexa hummed into the kiss and pulled Clarke closer to her. She rested her hands on her waist and held onto the girl.

"I want you." Clarke breathed into the kiss.

"Are you sure?" When Clarke nodded, Lexa stood them up and Clarke let out a surprise gasp.

"I'm sorry, Charlie. You can howl all you want but you're not coming in for this." Lexa said as they neared her bedroom door and Charlie tried to come in with them. He let out a little whine at being denied to be with his favorite human but he quickly waddled away to his bed.

Lexa was relived that he seemed to be okay and wasn't worried about leaving him out by himself. He had everything he needed out there. Lexa lowered Clarke down to her bed with a smile. Clarke looked up at Lexa with a shy smile as Lexa climbed on top of her and Lexa really hoped Charlie would be okay for a while because she didn't want to leave her bed with such a beautiful girl laying down in it. Lexa silently removed her shirt and so did Clarke. No words were exchanged between them as they connected their lips back together. Clarke held onto Lexa with a death grip as she sucked her bottom lip. Lexa tried to maneuver her way around but couldn't due to Clarke's tight grip.

"Clarke, I'm not going anywhere." Lexa whispered out and she felt Clarke loosen her grip a bit.

"I'm right here. I just want to get you naked." Lexa said a little awkwardly, but Clarke nodded and let her go. Lexa quickly removed the rest of her clothes and took her own clothes off too. Once they were completely naked, Lexa laid back down on top of Clarke and she moaned because she was met with a warm body. They stared at each other for a while, not moving.

"Hey." Clarke mouthed.

"Hi." Lexa said to her. Lexa looked into Clarke's eyes and could see the fear in them. Lexa thought Clarke could probably see her fear too.

"We don't have to do anything." Lexa said, even though they were already naked.

"I want to, Lexa. I mean it." Clarke said and Lexa nodded and leaned down slowly to capture Clarke's lips. They kissed for a while. Neither one of them wanted to go fast and Lexa knew she needed to go out and check on Charlie soon but he could wait just a few more minutes. Clarke was putting her walls down and Lexa was doing the same thing. They tore down each other walls piece by piece.

Lexa kissed down Clarke's chest until she came across her breasts and she sucked her nipple into her mouth. Clarke whined and arched her back up into her. Lexa held onto Clarke's sides and took Clarke in. She breathed her in and kissed every inch of her body and repeated. She couldn't get enough of her. She was drinking her in. She was having yet another daily dose of Clarke and she was already waiting for her next dose.

Lexa kissed every inch of Clarke's body and then she settled in between Clarke's legs. She drew her legs up and placed them over her shoulder as she scooted closer to Clarke's center. She could smell her sweet and tangy juices and she couldn't wait to get a taste of it.

Clarke nodded down at her when she looked up and Lexa leaned in and immediately swirled her tongue around her clit. She knew Clarke  was probably sensitive and she should've worked her way up to it but she didn't want to. It had been far too long since they had sex and with everything that had been happening, Lexa didn't want to wait. She wanted Clarke and she wanted all of her. So, she didn't stop, she swirled and lashed her tongue against Clarke's clit as she held onto her thighs. Clarke was wailing and thrashing above her and Lexa was loving every second of it and she wasn't going to stop.

Lexa had her hands resting on top of Clarke's stomach and Lexa felt Clarke gently pry her hands away and guided them to her sides. Lexa laid her hands flat on her bed and Clarke flipped them over and held onto both of her hands. They never held hands while the other was going down on them and Lexa can see why. This act was extremely intimate but Lexa loved it. Clarke interlocked their fingers at the same time Lexa stuck her tongue inside of her and curled it up. Clarke gasped and tightened her hold on Lexa.

"Oh, baby." Clarke mewled out.

Lexa thrusted her tongue in and out of Clarke before she came back up and assaulted her clit with her tongue. Lexa was listening to the moans and whines coming out of Clarke's mouth and noticed how close together they were getting. Clarke was reaching her tipping point and Lexa couldn't wait to send her over edge.

Lexa wrapped her lips around Clarke's clit and pulled it making  Clarke let out a high pitched moan. Lexa smirked because she knew Clarke was going to cum any moment. Clarke wrapped her thighs around Lexa's head and squeezed as she let out a long, strangled moan. Clarke had a death grip on Lexa's hands but Lexa didn't mind. She held onto Clarke's hips as Clarke rode out her orgasm. Wave after wave of pleasure was coursing through her veins and she was getting high off of it. She was getting high off of Lexa. Lexa gave her a few more soft licks before she reluctantly pulled away and kissed her way back up Clarke's body. Clarke smiled up at her and pulled her down for a kiss.

Clarke felt light right now. Right now, in this moment, with Lexa looking down at her with those soft, green eyes. She knew she was still in her marriage and she knew she was still committing a sin. She knew her and Lexa had a lot of things to work out, but she didn't focus on that tonight. No, she focused on worshipping Lexa's body like she deserved. She knew her marriage wasn't over yet and she knew she would technically be in the wrong for this but _damn_ , did it feel good.

* * *

 

Clarke woke up the next morning to breakfast in bed. Lexa was clad in nothing but a long white t-shirt and Charlie was right on her heals. Lexa made her pancakes and bacon and eggs and Clarke licked her lips.

"Thank you." Clarke murmured as she pulled Lexa in for a kiss.

"You're welcome." Lexa had her own plate and joined Clarke in bed. Charlie went off and curled up into his bed.

"You ready to get Sam later?"

"Yes! I miss my baby girl so much," Clarke said and then she got serious. "Me and Finn need to talk about the possibility of divorce and how it will all go down."

"Yeah, that's going to be tough."

"I'm going to call the number for my art gallery later." Clarke said nonchalantly.

Lexa looked over at her with wide eyes, "Really?"

"Yeah, I'm going to do this and I can't wait."

"I'll help you out." Clarke looked at Lexa with soft eyes and wondered how she got so lucky to sit there with a woman so understanding. Clarke smiled over at her.

"I know you will."

* * *

 

Clarke walked up to Finn's hotel room. It wasn't the fanciest hotel, but it wasn't a motel. It had a pool off to the side and Clarke went up to the sixth floor where her little girl would be. She missed her so much. She was used to spending every waking moment with her. She knew when she dropped Sam off at her parents, that it was different. She didn't  drop Sam off at her parents house every weekend.

She knew she needed to get with the program because she was the one that wanted this. She didn't want the back and forth between houses but she wanted to separate from Finn, she had to. She didn't think she could keep doing it without permanently combusting.

Clarke knocked on the door and waited for Finn to open up. When he did, Clarke was met with her baby girl.

"Mommy!" She cried happily and ran over to her. Clarke opened her arms and Sam jumped into them. Clarke littered her daughter's face with kisses as Finn gathered her stuff.

"Were you good for daddy?" Clarke asked in a motherly tone and Sam nodded.

"The best." Clarke smiled at that. Sam was never one to get into too much trouble.

"Here's all her stuff." Finn said as he handed over Sam's overnight bag.

"Okay, thanks. I'll probably text or call when you can come get her next Friday." Clarke said and was surprise at how mature she was being.

"Yeah, okay. That sounds great. Gimme a kiss, Sam." Sam leaned over in Clarke's arms and gave her dad a kiss. Clarke looked at Finn. She wanted to stomp her feet and she wanted to cry but she also wanted to be civil right now, in front of her daughter and anyways, she was in no right to do that. She knew when Finn eventually found out, things would get so much worse than what they were right now.

He looked a little older, somehow. He fore longed his razor and was fully growing out his beard. It was awkward seeing Finn in some hotel room and not at the house. Clarke thought he looked so out of place here but she didn't comment. She would accept that this was how things will be now. It was awkward looking at the man she spent five years with. It was weird that she wasn't staying but instead, she was leaving. But, this waa the life she wanted and she would accept it because this was what she needed to do to be happy. She didn't want to lie anymore and pretend her marriage was a happy one.

Clarke remembered a time where she would had been happy to stay and be with Finn and then she remembered how Finn walked out of the house a week ago and how much lighter she felt. She didn't want to keep pretending for Sam. So, she hugged her baby girl close to her and walked away after she said goodbye.

She hugged her baby girl the whole way down the hall.

She walked away from her husband and it felt good.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I just want to thank you guys so much for liking this story. I absolutely love writing it.  
> In case some of you are confused, this chapter has another flashback. Lexa met Clarke's parents after they first had sex. This flashback is set a month after Lexa met Clarke's parents and they have been having sex during that time.  
> I hope you guys like this chapter!

**Washington D.C.**

 

_3 years ago_

_Clarke was currently on the phone with her two best friends, who were out partying tonight. She knew she could've easily been with them, if she didn't have to look after Sam for the night. It had only been a month or so since she had been having sex with Lexa. Clarke could hear the bass of the music through the phone and she couldn't help but think that her friends were sweet, calling her when they were in the club trying to have fun._

_"It's not the same without you!" Octavia yelled through the phone and Clarke agreed._

_It wasn't so much of the alcohol she wanted, but just time with her friends. She was only twenty-two years old and she was with Sam right now. Her husband was away and she wouldn't dare tell her friends that she was lonely. She told them to have fun and she told them to call her in the morning._

_Clarke lounged around for a bit, trying not to make too much noise. It was a Friday night and she finally got Sam down. Finn called her and told her he wouldn't be home anytime soon and she huffed, she should've known._

_Clarke's hands were itching to do something. Would it be too much? They had only been having sex for about a month.  She wasn't sure what the relationship was between her and Lexa, but she wanted to see the girl, she made her feel free. It had been a while since she felt like that._

_Free._

_She didn't know when she had ever felt like that with Finn but she thought back and tried to remember._

_She didn't let herself remember._

_She called Lexa._

_Lexa arrived within the hour. She was at work and Clarke felt bad for pulling her away, but Lexa didn't seem to be bothered by it. She seemed just as happy to see her. It was a common reaction, really, or that was what Clarke told herself. Her friends were always out and it was not like they didn't make an effort to contact and hang out with her, because they did. It was a common reaction, really. Her husband was always out so why not invite Lexa over? Why not hang out with her?_

_Clarke embraced Lexa when she walked through the door. She held her close and took her in._ _She instantly felt ten times calmer and relaxed her muscles._

_"Hey." She said as she looked up into those green eyes. Lexa looked back down at her and smiled._

_"Hi."_

_Clarke's breath hitched in her chest when she caught sight of Lexa's smile. Lexa was a pretty woman, but she was absolutely breath-taking when she smiled. Clarke quickly learned that Lexa wasn't one for emotions and didn't smile as much as the average Jane. But, when she did smile, Clarke made it her life mission to etch that smile into every crevice of her brain. How could her brain forget something so beautiful? (It didn't. Clarke had dreams about that exact smile)._

_Clarke invited Lexa in while her daughter was sleeping. Clarke invited Lexa in while her husband was out. Clarke invited Lexa in while her friends were out partying. Clarke invited Lexa in for herself._

_Clarke found herself doing that more and more. While her friends wanted to party and while her husband worked, she hung out with Lexa during the week and on the weekends she would go to her bar and they would go to Lexa's loft and have sex._

_Clarke knew she shouldn't have tried too. What was she thinking? It had been a couple of weeks since she had been inviting Lexa over and around two months since she started sleeping with her. She didn't want her husband to be suspicious of anything, so she tried it._

_It was a lapse of judgement on her part, she shouldn't have tried it at all. But, she was in the mindset that she still needed to be a wife and that was a mistake. She dolled herself all up and in a corset that she was sure Lexa would appreciate. She told herself that she bought it for her husband and not the girl she was cheating with (She bought it for Lexa)._

_She laid out on the bed and waited for her husband to come home. When he did, he stopped short and saw his wife sprawled out in the bed, wearing a sexy smirk. Clarke slowly got up and walked over to her husband. She didn't say anything as she slowly removed his tie and pulled him in for a kiss. She knew her husband wasn't going to reject it. She had been holding out for a couple of months and that was because of Lexa. She figured she should give her husband at least one night. Clarke led them over to the bed and was getting ready to push him down._

_"Not tonight, Clarke." He said roughly and gently pushed Clarke off him. Clarke stared down at her husband, hurt, but she wouldn't let that show on her face_.

_"I just want to shower and get into bed." Finn said quietly and Clarke nodded and she felt like a fool._

_Here she was, all dolled up for her husband and he didn't even want her. She knew someone who would want her. But, she knew it was too late to go see her. Clarke watched as Finn undressed and wordlessly went into the bathroom so he could shower. Clarke knew she should've just let herself not try and be intimate with Finn. She should've just left it alone, but she at least had to try and she did. She tried to be intimate with Finn and tried to have sex with him but he so readily pushed her off and she let it happen. She knew she wouldn't really be into it anyway, and she waited all night and until the morning, until she could be with Lexa again._

_Day after day she found herself at home at night with Sam and day after day she found herself falling more for Lexa._

* * *

 

Clarke was sitting at her dinner table with Raven and Octavia. Sam was upstairs playing in her room and Clarke needed some much needed girl time. The lasagna was cooking in the oven and Clarke was very aware of the eyes that were on her. She knew she had failed as a best friend when she failed to mention the problems that arose during her marriage. She didn't tell either one of them. The only one that knew of problems in her marriage was the woman she was cheating with. Clarke looked up at her two best friends and sighed deeply.

"Go ahead." She stated quietly.

But, Raven and Octavia didn't say anything, they just continued to stare at her with pity in their eyes. She didn't want pity, she didn't deserve it. She wanted to blurt out all the wrong things she did in her marriage.

Cheating. Going along like everything was fine. Not having sex with her husband. Faking a smile. Trying to love a man she fell out of love with and so much more. She wanted to tell them she cheated and she wanted them to hate her for it, because she did.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Octavia asked softly. She still had that pity look in her eyes and Clarke hated it. She looked away so she didn't have to look at them. They wouldn't look so pitiful if she knew she cheated. Octavia and Raven were her bridesmaids at the wedding. Octavia and Raven were Sam's godmothers. Octavia and Raven were there, the day after Finn proposed. Octavia and Raven were there when Sam was born.

"I didn't know how." Clarke replied.

"You guys have been having problems this whole time?" Raven asked in disbelief.

Clarke slowly nodded her head, "Yes."

"Oh, my god, Clarke. You should've said something!" Raven cried.

"We are your best friends and we didn't even know." Octavia added sadly. 

"I know but what was I supposed to say?" Clarke then asked. They were quiet after that because what _was_ she supposed to say. Her marriage was failing and she was trying to keep it from that.

"So, are you guys going to get a divorce?" Octavia asked and Clarke didn't reply right away. Are they going to get a divorce? Clarke didn't know but she wanted it to happen.

"I want to." Clarke said honestly.

"Really? You don't want to make it work?" Raven asked.

"Make what work?" Clarke scoffed. "There's nothing to fix."

"This is crazy. I swear, it feels like you guys just got married yesterday." Clarke understood that, it did feel like it was yesterday. But, it also felt like it was yesterday when she started cheating.

"I tried for Sam and I'm done trying. I'm going to be selfish in this." Clarke said.

"We just want what's best for you." Octavia relayed.

Clarke wanted to say she knew what was best for her and it was a woman who drove a motorcycle. It was a woman who spoiled her puppy within a week. It was  a woman who made her feel so many things she was afraid to. It was a woman who owned a bar and that was where they had their first kiss. It was a woman who was so great with her daughter.

It was a woman.

It was a woman.

It was a woman.

It was Lexa.

"I know. But, this is what is best for me. I wasn't happy." Clarke admitted to her best friends.

"Wow, I was sure you guys were going to be together forever." Raven huffed out a breath and Clarke tried to keep her emotions in check. She hadn't heard that in a while. That her and Finn would be together forever. She remembered when Octavia said that when she got back from their honeymoon from the Bahamas. She didn't realize how much she didn't miss hearing that and she didn't feel bad for admitting it.

"I mean, you're twenty-five, I'm sure there's plenty of other people out there for you besides Finn." Octavia shrugged and Clarke was grateful that her friends were being so understanding, even if they were a little shocked.

She could understand why, she remembered coming home after her first date with him and calling them up and telling them everything that happened and that he kissed her goodbye. She remembered when she told them that he was the one and a couple of weeks later, he proposed. She remembered it all, but she didn't want to.

"Yeah, and we will be here, no matter what." Raven added and Clarke smiled over to them.

Clarke and Finn set a date for when they were going to talk things out and it was going to happen on Wednesday. Clarke had just gotten Sam back for the week and she wanted to have a nice dinner with her and her two best friends. Clarke didn't know what was going to happen on Wednesday.

"Thank you." Clarke said heavily and she meant it. It was nice to have people to fall back on.

* * *

 

Clarke and Finn decided to meet at a restaurant in the city. They didn't think it would be a good idea to do this at the house or somewhere private. They wanted to do this somewhere public. Clarke was actually surprised that Finn was there with her and not at work. It was noon and her baby girl was in school.

Clarke and Finn ordered their drinks and watched each other. Clarke didn't say anything, she was waiting for Finn to make the first move. Clarke was amazed by how fast their drinks came out and then they ordered their food. Clarke looked over the menu and immediately knew what Finn was going to order. She wasn't surprised at all when he told the waiter he wanted philly cheese steak sandwich with fries. She ordered a turkey club with fries herself.

When the waiter left for the second time, Finn finally spoke.

"I don't want to get a divorce."

Clarke's heart stopped at that, she hoped her face didn't portray how she was feeling. Finn didn't want a divorce? Clarke tried not to gape at him. He couldn't be serious, could he?

"Finn-" Clarke tried.

Finn stopped her.

"Just, listen. You are my wife and I want to keep it that way. Sam is my daughter and you guys are my family. I'm absolutely miserable and I want you back, Clarke. I should've never left. Being at the hotel made me realize how much I miss you and I want my family back. Not just for Sam's sake but for mine too. You do make me happy Clarke. I want this. I want you."

Clarke hated how that sounded coming out of Finn's mouth. She remembered when Lexa told her she just wanted her and she wished Lexa was there. Clarke wasn't going to do this. She wasn't going to lie and say she thought the same. She wasn't going to sit here and tell him that she had thought about him because she didn't. There was only one person she thought about and it was Lexa.

"Finn, that's not a good idea." Clarke stated with purpose. She could've sworn they both agreed they weren't happy, so why didn't he want a divorce?

"Can we not get a divorce yet? Could we try to make this work?" Finn begged and Clarke started shaking her head.

"No, Finn. No, I'm not doing this. I'm sorry if you feel miserable. I can't lie, I don't want to go through a divorce, it's going to be an absolute nightmare but we have to do this. I know it's going to be hard but we have too. I have to let you go Finn and you have to let me go too."

"I'm not ready." Finn whispered and Clarke thought back to a time where she would've agreed. She was so afraid of all of this happening but now that it was happening, she wanted to proceed with it.

She didn't fully take Finn's last name, it was no disrespect to him, she just wanted to keep her last name too. She hyphened her last name with his. She wanted to be just Griffin again. She didn't want to be Clarke Elizabeth Griffin-Collins. She wants to be Clarke Elizabeth Griffin (She wanted to be Clarke Elizabeth Woods).

Clarke's heart raced at that idea before she quickly squashed that thought and focused back on Finn.

"We have to be." Clarke rasped. Finn didn't say anything for a long while and neither did Clarke. She felt awkward being there, her skin was absolutely crawling. She didn't want to talk about divorce with her husband in the nice restaurant in the city. She wanted to go home.

"Can we wait just a bit?" Clarke thought about it for a moment. She already separated from Finn. Did they have to go through a divorce? Clarke quickly shook her head, of course they did.

"No." Clarke said and Finn nodded.

"Okay."

"We don't have to file for divorce right this second, but I'm filing for divorce, Finn." Clarke said and she didn't know when her voice became so shaky, but it did. It shook along with her hands and along with her heart. She felt her heart shaking and she knew it was slowly shattering. This was it, it was happening. She was going to do it. She was finally going to divorce Finn.

"Okay." Finn said again.

"You'll get Sam back on Friday," the waiter came with her food. "I'm so sorry but can I have this to go?"

The waiter kindly smiled at her, "Of course." Clarke was relieved, she didn't want the waiter to go through too much trouble but she wanted to get out of there. She waited for her to-go bag with shaky hands.

"Clarke-" She needed to get out before she said something she shouldn't. "Clarke, just stay here." She couldn't stay here.

Did he know she was lying? She was getting ready to say it. It was on the tip of her tongue and she opened her mouth to say it, but the waiter walked back out with her to-go bag.

Clarke sighed in relief and quickly grabbed the bag. She heard Finn plead for her to stay but she couldn't. She almost spilled her secret. Would it had been so bad? She probably should've just said it, but she didn't. She walked away like a damn coward.

* * *

 

"Wanna take a ride?" Lexa asked slyly into the phone. Clarke's mind immediately went to the dirty side. "On my motorcycle." Lexa added and Clarke groaned.

Sam's game was in an hour and she needed to get ready and head down there. She was going to take her car but she was quickly liking Lexa's idea better. She had only ridden on it a few times, she was far to scare to get on it as many times as Lexa's did. But, Clarke wanted to see Lexa and she knew she would be at the game but Clarke wanted to see her now.

"Sure." Clarke smiled.

"Great, I'll pick you up." Clarke didn't wait long at all for Lexa to arrive. She heard the familiar roar of Lexa's engine and she grabbed her jacket and put it on. It wasn't the leather jacket she loved Lexa in. It was a cute little denim jacket that she was wearing over a white shirt.

"Hey." Lexa whistled and Clarke blushed.

"Hey, you." Clarke hummed. Lexa handed over the extra helmet and Clarke put it on.

"Damn, girl. I forgot how good you look on my motorcycle." Lexa said as Clarke climbed onto her motorcycle. Clarke's heart was racing, but in a good way. Lexa was squinting down at her. She looked so hot in her leather jacket and black skinny jeans. Clarke knew she couldn't kiss her out in the open. Her neighbors were already starting to talk about her and Finn. She wanted to kiss Lexa though, but she couldn't, so she settled for looking at her. Lexa walked over to her and gave her a one-armed hug. She smelt like vanilla and coconut, she smelt like home.

"Hey." Lexa said again and she subtly kissed her forehead.

"Hi." Clarke sighed. She knew she needed to pull away, a car already drove by. She knew she had been in Lexa's embrace long enough (it wasn't long at all).

"I'm surprised you pulled yourself away from your puppy." Clarke teased.

"Anya is with him." That peaked Clarke's interest. Lexa rolled her eyes at her and slid in the space in front of Clarke. Clarke immediately wrapped her arms around Lexa's waist.

"Really now?" Clarke hummed into her ear.

"Yes, we had dinner the other night and it was amazing, Clarke. We had such a good time. I forgot how much I missed her." Lexa said as she looked back at Clarke.

"Anya said sorry for missing the game but Raven will be there." Lexa started the motorcycle and drove off. Clarke held on tight the whole way there.

* * *

 

Clarke was not looking forward to seeing Finn, but she wanted to see her baby girl. Clarke caught sight of her running around with her teammates as Lincoln was coaching them. Clarke immediately smiled at the sight of her daughter and looked back as Lexa put her sunglasses on. She looked so good.

"You're so hot." Clarke blurted out and Lexa smirked.

"Wouldn't you know?" Lexa teased and Clarke pushed her lightly as they made it onto the field. She greeted Raven and Octavia. Clarke's  face paled when she saw her mom looking at them. Lexa noticed too and she felt so awkward. Lexa couldn't believe Abby caught onto what they were doing, they had been so careful about it.

Actually, Lexa took that back. They had been half-careful when it came to that, but the fact that Abby knew, made the whole situation awkward for her, but she went about it with a smile on her face. Abby greeted her normally and Lexa had to force herself to do the same thing.

"Mommy!" Sam yelled as she spotted her mom and took off running towards her. Clarke picked up her little girl and she kissed her cheek.

"How's my baby?" Clarke cooed, she had missed her so much. Clarke thought that this would never get easy, it wouldn't.

"Good!" Sam squeaked and she looked over and saw Lexa. Sam wiggled her way out of her mom's arms and went over to Lexa.

"Hey, squirt." Lexa greeted as she held Sam close. She didn't see her as often as she used to and she had missed her.

"How's Charlie?" Sam immediately asked.

Lexa let out a chuckle, "He's good." Lexa heard a whistle blow.

"Hey, you better get out on the field." Sam nodded and she hugged Lexa and then hugged her mom before she took off towards the field.

Lexa was glad that she was wearing sunglasses. Clarke was wearing leggings and her butt looked amazing. Clarke was squatting down to the floor and Lexa couldn't take her eyes off of her.

She thought her sunglasses hid her leering well. She was standing closer to the back, by the bleachers when Abby approached her, "Take a picture it'll last longer." She heard Abby say and she flushed red. There was no hiding it. Lexa was glad Jake was with his daughter along with Raven and Octavia.

"Sorry." Lexa had the decency to apologize.

"Oh, don't apologize honey." Abby sighed and Lexa knew she was going to get a lecture.

But, to her surprise, she didn't. Abby stood with her and she didn't feel as awkward as before. She always looked at Abby with respect. Sure, it made her a little antsy that she knew, but she knew Abby wouldn't tell.

"I hope you know what you are doing." Abby said quietly.

Lexa didn't know whether to take that as a warning or advice. She took it as both. She knew that this could get bad. Finn was here and so was the girl Clarke was cheating with. Lexa knew how bad it could get. Lexa wanted to blurt out that she loved Clarke but was she ready for that? To fully admit it to herself? She knew she had before but things could get real for them, they already were. Lexa didn't have the marriage to hide behind anymore, but in a way she did. Clarke hadn't divorced Finn yet and she knew she was still messing with a married woman, but she knew what she wanted and that was Clarke and Sam. But, Lexa didn't tell Abby that. Lexa nodded and she didn't say anything, she didn't know what to.

"I do." Lexa said lowly after some time. Because she did. She knew this whole time.

She wasn't sure if she drove Clarke to this revelation that her marriage wasn't enough. Lexa knew that Clarke knew, Clarke just didn't say anything. Lexa knew what she was doing the whole time. She knew she was messing with someone's mother and someone's wife, but she still did it. At first, she admitted that she was just insanely attracted to Clarke. She  had to have her and when she did, she didn't think it could get any better. Lexa could admit that she was in it for the sex. They both were.

But, the more time she spent around Clarke without having sex, she loved. She loved hanging out with Clarke and she loved seeing her be a mother. She was such a good mother and she was so happy she got to witness it. In a way, it made it hot. She was sleeping with a mom and she was reveling in it. Lexa knew what she was doing. She felt like she was back in high school, snorting those white lines again but those white lines oddly looked a lot like Clarke. Lexa breathed the girl in, like an addict.

Lexa knew she had an addiction to cocaine and it was sad for her to admit it because she was so young. She can admit that she channeled that addiction into something else.

Clarke.

Lexa could admit that the saying was true, once an addict, always an addict. Lexa thought she was addicted to sex but quickly realized it wasn't sex because Lexa went years without it, maybe a casual hook-up here or there.

She realized it was Clarke.

She was truly and utterly addicted to Clarke and she knew what she was doing.

Abby didn't say anything. Lexa heard her hum faintly and she walked away to be with her husband.

* * *

 

When the game was over, Lexa went over to Clarke. They kept their distance from each other during the game. Part of it (all of it) had to do with Abby. Lexa was thinking more and more of what Abby had said and she thought  that it was more of a warning than advice. She knew Abby wished nothing but the best for her and Abby was learning that what's best for her was Clarke. She knew how over-protective Abby could get.

Sam ran over to her mom once the game was done. They didn't lose, instead they tied. Lincoln was cleaning up the field with the other coach and Octavia went over to go see him.

"Are we going to go home now?" Sam asked Clarke as Finn approached. Everyone was gathered around and Clarke didn't know how to break the news to her daughter.

"Sweetie, you are not going home with me. You are going with your dad until tomorrow night." At that, Sam immediately frowned.

"We won't all go get food together?" Sam asked confused as Finn walked over and picked her daughter up.

"We talked about this, Sam. Mommy and daddy don't do things together anymore. If you want to get food, you'll go with just daddy not me." Clarke explained softly. She was embarrassed having to explain this around her friends and her parents. She hated it. Sam pouted at her and Clarke felt bad.

"You could come with us." Finn offered and Clarke didn't know if he actually meant it or if he was just saying that because everyone was around. She saw her daughter nod happily and she felt even worse.

"I came here with Lexa. She's going to take me home. You guys go." She hated that she wouldn't be going with them. It quickly become a routine of theirs, but not anymore. Clarke briefly looked over at Lexa but she couldn't see her eyes because of her sunglasses. Raven quickly said goodbye to them and headed off. Lincoln was almost done cleaning the field and she saw Octavia helping him.

"Okay, but could we talk real quick?" Finn asked and Clarke noticed Lexa's body language change. It was immediately on the offense and she smiled internally. She supposes she could. Her parents said goodbye as they reached the parking lot and Lexa waited by her motorcycle for Clarke to finish talking to Finn. They hadn't spoken since Wednesday when Clarke walked out.

"What do you want?" Clarke asked curiously and she saw how nervous Finn got.

"I was just wondering if you thought about Wednesday at all. I know you said at some point you want to file for divorce, but do you really want this? Sam really wants us to be together and I know we said we wouldn't try for her but I want to try for me. I miss you Clarke." Finn said quietly and Clarke tried not to roll her eyes. She didn't want to be mean, she didn't, but she didn't want to make things work between them either.

"Finn, we can't. It hurts me to say this but we have to do this. I know neither one of us wants to admit it, but we failed. I failed hard and I'm willing to admit that but we have to do this. My heart hurts so much but I'm not going to stay in this marriage because I'm hurt and don't want to admit that I failed because I did, we both did. We both have been lying for way too long." Clarke said.

"I miss you."

Clarke could've said she missed him too. She didn't actually miss Finn, just the idea of him. That fairytale ending she never believed in. She didn't believe it because she didn't have that with him and it pained her to say. She watched the man she used to be in love with and that was just that. She used to be in love with him but she wasn't anymore. So, she wasn't going to tell him that she missed him too because she didn't and she wasn't going to be mean about it. She just wanted to go home, she just wanted to be with Lexa.

Clarke looked him over for one last time before she turned on her heel and left. She glanced at her baby girl in the backseat and her heart didn't feel as heavy. She turned on her heel and left the man she was no longer in love with.

Lexa was patiently waiting for her when Finn pulled out of the parking lot. The parking lot wasn't empty and she waved goodbye to Octavia and Lincoln before they left. The parking lot wasn't empty, but her friends and her parents were no longer there. No one she knew was there and she looked over at Lexa. She took her sunglasses off and Clarke stared into those bright green eyes. She looked around and saw that they were alone in the parking lot and she did something she knew she shouldn't had, at least not in public.

It felt good.

To be free like that in public.

She felt free when she kissed Lexa. She didn't allow herself to think about who she was hurting and how much she was hurting. She grabbed Lexa by the back of her neck and she heard her let out a surprise gasp but she swallowed it the second her lips met Lexa's. Clarke kissed her long and hard. With lust and want. With fear and sadness. With failure and accomplishment. With joy and hurt.

She kissed Lexa and she didn't let her go and her friends could roll right back up to the soccer field and she still wouldn't pull away. Clarke kissed her with all the emotions running through her and she bet Lexa could taste them on her tongue when she slipped it into her mouth.

Clarke kissed Lexa with determination. With passion and enthusiasm. She kissed Lexa eagerly and Lexa kissed her right back. Neither one of them cared that they were in the middle of the parking lot, leaning against Lexa's motorcycle. Neither one of them were worried about getting caught, no one knew them there. Clarke kissed Lexa over and over again.

Clarke kissed Lexa with love.

* * *

 

"Who do you want to invite to your birthday party?" Clarke asked Sam as she was cutting up some vegetables. Sam was standing on the chair beside her.

"Everyone!" Sam said with wide, blue eyes.

Clarke chuckled, "A little more specific, babe."

"Grammy and grappy. Octavia and Raven. Jasper and Monty. Daddy and Lexa. Anya and Lincoln and Charlie. My friends from school." Clarke chuckled again as her daughter listed some more people including her kindergarten teacher, Clarke didn't know about that.

Sam's birthday wasn't until November fourth and it was ending October. Clarke had a little over two weeks to plan for Sam's birthday. Sam said she wanted to have her birthday party here, in the backyard. The backyard was pretty spacious and it had a small playground for her to play on. Sam wanted her friends to play with her. Clarke knew she was nowhere near ready for Sam to turn six. Clarke wanted her to stay her little girl forever.

"I can make that work." Clarke smirked at her daughter.

"Will Lexa come?" As soon as Sam asked that, Clarke's phone went off and she smirked again when she saw who was calling.

"Hold on, baby," Clarke said as she answered the call.

"Hello?"

"I am going to die." Clarke heard Lexa exclaim through the phone and Clarke rolled her eyes because Lexa could be so dramatic sometimes.

"What are you talking about?" Clarke chuckled into the phone.

"Finny boy. He's here at the bar and I told him I had some work to do but I really don't. Clarke, I can't do this. I can't be around him, it's too much." Lexa confessed softly and Clarke felt bad.

"I'm sorry," Clarke apologized.

"He talked my ear off. He's pretty hurt, Clarke. That's why I came back here. He won't shut up about you," Lexa whined into the phone. "You don't know how many times I had to bite my tongue to make sure I didn't say anything stupid." Clarke knows Lexa wouldn't say anything to Finn. It wouldn't just be throwing Clarke under the bus, but herself as well.

"What was he saying?" Clarke asked curiously as she finished chopping up the vegetables.

"I just wished she could see that we are meant to be. I love her so much. I just want her." Lexa mimicked Finn but she couldn't tell when she stopped mocking Finn. She wondered where the lines blurred and when she was actually confessing these things, instead of Finn. Clarke was silent on the line because she could tell the lines blurred too.

They didn't say anything to each other and Lexa stopped short when she realized how much she said. It sounded a lot like her words instead of Finn. Lexa knew these things though. She knew her and Clarke were meant to be. She knew she loved Clarke. She knew she just wanted her. Finn sounded a lot like her.

No, wait.

Maybe, Lexa sounded a lot like Finn. It was weird how Finn and Lexa thought about the same woman in the same way. Lexa liked to believe she felt more for the girl, maybe she did. Clarke knew whose words she wanted to hear more and it was Lexa's.

But, Lexa didn't say anything. Clarke could hear her breathing and she didn't want things to be weird. They were doing so good.

"I'm going to put you on speaker phone." Clarke said as she took the phone away from her ear. Sam didn't see who was calling but she said 'hello' because she knew someone was on the line with her mom.

"Hey, squirt." Lexa said softly and Clarke watched as her daughter's eyes lit up.

"Lexa!"

"You helping your mom in the kitchen?" Lexa asked.

"I am. I pour the flour in when mommy needs it and I put the vegetables in the bowl." Sam said proudly. They were making a chicken-pot pie.

"That's good that you are helping your mom."

"Are you coming to my birthday party? That's what me and mommy were talking about." Sam asked.

"I am. I wouldn't miss it for the world." Lexa said and Sam squealed happily. Clarke decided that it was time to take Lexa off speaker phone so they could talk. Sam was too busy putting the vegetables her mom cut up in the bowl.

"You there?" Clarke asked quietly as she stepped away from her daughter.

"Always," Lexa said back softly. "But, I should let you go. Sounds like you are busy."

"Lexa-" Clarke sighed.

"I have to go deal with your heartbroken husband." Lexa grumbled into the phone.

Clarke wanted to tell her that she loved her. That she finally figured it out. She knew, deep down inside of her, she always knew. She was been battling with this for a while but she knew. She was deeply and utterly in love with Lexa and she wanted to tell her. She almost did, why couldn't she just tell her now?

Clarke didn't and Clarke beat herself up for it when she hung up a moment later. She didn't say that she was in love with Lexa. She didn't tell Lexa that she understood the underlying meaning. She knew Lexa was repeating Finn's words but they were coming from her heart. Maybe Lexa knew she already did, but it would be confirmed if she just said it. She knew she almost blurted it out when they went over to her loft but she hadn't tried to say it since and she should've told Lexa that she loved her. She should've told her that it was okay.

That she didn't have to deal with Finn.

That she wanted this relationship with her.

That she wanted Lexa here in her kitchen with her and Sam.

That she wanted to completely be with her.

She knew they had made progress in their relationship with each other but a lot of things were off limits because Clarke was still married. Clarke was still scared when it came to her relationship with Lexa. She wanted to hold onto the girl and never let her go. She could lose a lot of things and she was, but she couldn't lose Lexa. Clarke should've reassured Lexa that it was okay. That she could feel these things because she felt them too.

Clarke should've told Lexa she loved her.

She should've.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some violence occurs.

Clarke was bustling around the kitchen with her mom, making sure all the food was done and prepared for Sam's birthday party. Octavia, Raven and Anya were already here. Clarke liked to think she purposely put herself in these situations because Finn was standing off to one side and Lexa was off in the other.

Clarke blamed the clock hanging up above Lexa's head as the reason why she kept looking over there.

Lexa looked _stunning._ She had her hair down in waves and it was over one shoulder. She took her leather jacket off when she walked in and she was wearing a dark blue, short-sleeved shirt with black skinny jeans and short, black ankle boots. Lexa looked _so_ good and Clarke was having the hardest time keeping her eyes off her. Her mom gave her a knowing look many times but that didn't stop her from looking at the masterpiece over in the corner. A masterpiece who she had drawn and redrawn so many times. A masterpiece where she had pinned her up against the wall and fucked her. Lexa was through and through one of the greatest masterpieces created and she will be damned if she couldn't stare at her.

It was a small get together. Some of her closest friends and some of Sam's closest friends too. She wasn't necessarily friends with Sam's friends parents, but they were invited and she treated them as if she has known them for years. She knew most of them didn't know about her and Finn because they kept asking questions about their marriage, as if they were in a good one. They weren't. Clarke had dodged most of their questions, but now they were all cooped up inside because it decided that it wanted to rain. The house was huge and provided enough leeway to get away from them.

Clarke watched as everyone was standing and sitting around, enjoying themselves and the food. There was so much food here, but Clarke knew she was going to have a full house. Clarke looked back over at Lexa when she heard her laugh. It was so beautiful and she was in a deep conversation with Anya and Clarke smiled. They had been getting along so much better than before and Clarke was more than happy. She hung out with Raven a lot and Anya was around. She knew Anya missed being with her sister and was happy that they were working it out.

"So, how long have you been married?" One of the mom's asked loudly and she knew that the mom, had too much to drink. Clarke wanted to curse, but there were too many kids around for her to do that. Clarke briefly looked at Finn. The whole kitchen heard her, Clarke couldn't ignore her question.

"Five years." Clarke mumbled.

"Wow, and yet, I haven't seen you guys interact not once, interesting." Clarke glared at the women before her, but she didn't speak.

"Your husband has been in that corner the whole time and you haven't even looked at him once. You keep staring at that girl." Clarke's blood boiled and she knew she needed to be calm about this and not blow up, but who was she? To come into her house and start stuff? Finn caught her eye after the mother was finished talking, but Clarke couldn't bring herself to look at him. Clarke's heart was thumping in her chest for various reasons.

Her leering was obvious.

"Honey, leave her alone." The husband stepped in. Clarke was glad most of the kids were in Sam's playroom.

"I just find it a bit curious as to why she keeps staring at this girl instead of her husband." Clarke finally looked over to Finn and saw the wheels turning in his head and she went into panic mode.

"I wasn't staring at her. Now, maybe you should go lay down and take a nap. You're drunk for Christ sakes and it's a little kid's birthday party," Clarke stepped closer to the mom and Lexa took a step towards Clarke. "Don't come into my house and start shit because you have no idea what you are talking about and you have no idea who you are messing with." Clarke said through gritted teeth but everyone in the kitchen heard her and everyone in the kitchen was silent.

"Whatever," The mom scoffed. "Maybe you should get your eyes checked then."

"We are going to go." The husband said quickly. Clarke wanted to slap her, but she didn't. Instead, she took a step back and she watched as the husband called his kid and escorted them out. Clarke didn't look up at anybody, she turned around and focused on organizing the cake.

"Clarke," she heard a deep voice say behind her and she closed her eyes.

_This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening._

And it wasn't, because Clarke wasn't going to let it.

"Not now, Finn." Clarke grunted and she heard Finn huff. She also heard him turn away.

The air in the kitchen was thick after that and Lexa kept her distance from Clarke. She wanted to talk to her and see if she was alright, but then that would raise even more eyebrows. The kids had no idea what was going on and Clarke was grateful for it. Sam was running around with a smile on her face and that was all that mattered.

When it came time for cake, they all gathered around and sang happy birthday to Sam. Finn and Clarke stood next to each other while Sam blew out her candles and Clarke cut the cake and gave out slices to everyone.

When they all had a slice, the kids stayed at the table while most of the adults dispersed. Clarke was trying not to think about the one mom and what she said, but it was hard when Finn kept looking over at her. Was this really how he was going to find out? From some mom, who got drunk at a kid's birthday party and started running her mouth?

It was Clarke's own fault, she was the one who kept staring at Lexa. Clarke liked to think she did this to herself on purpose. Maybe she deserved it, because her marriage was coming to an end and her husband still didn't know. If it was up to her, she'd take the secret to her grave. Once the cake and ice cream were done, they did presents. Clarke smiled and watched as Sam opened all her presents. She mostly got dolls and clothes and that's all she really wanted. That's all she said when she asked her.

When present time was over, Lexa was sitting down on the couch and Clarke had no other choice but to sit by her.

"So, what was that earlier? That mom was totally trying to come for you." Octavia said and Clarke wanted to glare at her. Finn was standing in the door way and for the first time in her life span of knowing Lexa, she felt out of place beside her, but she wasn't going to get up. Clarke liked to think she purposely put herself in these situations.

"I mean, what was she talking about though?" Finn asked curiously. Clarke saw how Lexa was starting to become uncomfortable.

"Nothing." She said quickly. A little too quickly.

"Oh, come on. That wasn't nothing back there. She was adamant that you were staring at Lexa instead of me. What does that mean?"

_This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening._

It was happening.

"Nothing." Clarke said through gritted teeth and she could feel that Lexa was hiding behind the drink she was drinking. Where was Sam? Where was her baby girl to diffuse the tension? She could tell that everyone was on the edge of their seats right now and she wanted to get up. But, what would that say about her? She wasn't going to tell Finn in a room full of her friends and her dad. She wasn't going to tell Finn with Lexa sitting right beside her.

_This wasn't happening. This wasn't-_

"That wasn't nothing back there, Clarke. What was she talking about?" Finn pressed.

"Nothing!"

"It's not nothing, goddammit! What the hell was she-"

"I'm cheating on you!" Clarke yelled and she watched as Lexa choked on her drink.

Clarke was met with silence, aside from the many gasps she heard. She couldn't believe that she just told Finn this in a room full of people. It wasn't right, but what was she going to do? She cracked, _damn_ , she cracked under pressure and it was clear who she was cheating with. It was so obvious and Clarke really wished she didn't sit down beside Lexa.

Finn stared at her with the most heartbreaking expression. No one said anything, absolutely nothing and Finn stared at her. She was breathing hard from the built-up rage, but she felt better. She finally told Finn her secret and she told it to a whole bunch of her personal friends and some people she didn't know that well. Sam's friends parents didn't say anything. They averted their gazes and hoped they were somewhere else. Clarke wished she was somewhere else and she closed her eyes. She squeezed them tight and then she opened them. She was thinking about a beach with Sam and Lexa, but instead she was in a house that she didn't even own with her husband staring at her like she was scum.

That's the only way she could describe it as.He looked so disappointed in her. Like he was hoping for a Cadillac and got a rusty old pick-up truck.

"You're-" Finn didn't even finish his sentence as his gaze locked on Lexa and Clarke heard her swallow hard.

_This wasn't happening. This wasn't happen-_

"You cheated on me?" Finn all but yelled and Clarke cursed herself again because why did she do this on her daughter's birthday? Why was she so stupid? Clarke didn't say anything, but she looked up and she nodded and she heard more gasps.

"With who?" Finn sneered and Clarke already knew, he knew the answer. She saw the light bulb click when they were in the kitchen earlier. He figured it out. Clarke didn't answer and Finn took a step closer to her and Lexa finally looked up at him, with a look that could kill.

"With who?" Finn asked again, louder this time and Clarke has the answer on the tip of her tongue. She had the name so readily in her mind. So, why wasn't she saying it? Clarke didn't say anything and she briefly glanced around to all of the shocked faces and she looked at her dad, who just looked so confused and she felt bad.

"With me." Lexa said softly and Finn tried to attack her. Lexa quickly stood up and passed her drink to Anya. Clarke stood up as well and prayed too all of the gods that her daughter will stay in her play room with her friends. Finn tried to swing at Lexa, but Lexa quickly ducked it and pushed him. He stumbled back and Lexa stayed where she was.

"You don't want to do this Finn." Lexa threatened calmly.

"How could you!" Finn yelled. "I fucking trusted you. You were suppose to be my friend. We play call-of-duty together, for crying out loud but this whole time. This _whole_ fucking time you were having sex with my wife?" Finn yelled again.

Clarke was standing in the middle of them. Finn was on one side of the room. Lexa was on the other, ready to attack if she needed too. Clarke was shaking her head. She told herself, she purposely put herself in these situations.

"How long?" Finn then asked and Clarke panicked again. Lexa was getting ready to answer, but Clarke beat her to it.

"Three years." Clarke said boldly and she watched as her dad's expression turned from confused to shocked. She wondered if he thought of her differently now. Finn titled his head back and balled up his fists. Clarke was honestly scared in this moment, but Lexa looked calm. Really calm. Too calm actually.

"You've been cheating on me for three years?" Finn asked lowly as he started walking closer to Clarke. There wasn't anywhere for Clarke to go, so she stayed put.

"I asked you-" Finn started, then stopped angrily. "No, you asked me if I was cheating and I said no and I meant it, but then you lied straight to my face and told me you weren't cheating but you were!" Finn gritted out as he neared her.

"Back off!" Lexa yelled, but she stayed where she was and her face stayed calm too. Clarke wondered how she was being so calm in this situation. Clarke was losing her wits. Finn took another dangerous step towards Clarke and Lexa moved in a blink of an eye.

"I said back off!" Lexa yelled and that's when Sam stopped playing and headed over to see what all the noise was. No one noticed her at first and Finn started losing his self-control.

"You shut the hell up! You come into my house! Play with my kid! Hang out with my wife and fuck her on the low! You have no right to talk!" Finn spat as he tried to swing at Lexa and he almost got her, but Lexa caught him by the arm and threw him back. Finn went tumbling down at the same time Sam walked into the room. Sam was confused as to why Lexa would push her dad onto the floor. Sam was a smart kid and she quickly realized that something was wrong.

"Sam is here. Stop." Clarke tried to say, but they weren't listening to her. Clarke quickly looked to her dad and he got up and went to picked Sam up and took her out of the room and upstairs. The other parents quickly left the room because they realized that staying here was a lost cause. They gathered up their kids and they quickly left the house and Clarke was completely on panic mode. Finn quickly got up and charged for Lexa again.

"Finn, no!" This time it was her mom who said that, but he didn't listen to her.

"You had sex with my wife! I'm going to kill you!" Finn yelled as he finally punched Lexa. His first connected to her jaw and Clarke was sure that Lexa would've went down, but to her surprise, she didn't. She held her jaw tight, but she quickly let it go when she saw Finn coming at her again.

"Finn, stop it!" Clarke yelled desperately. Finn tried to swing at Lexa again, but this time Lexa quickly kicked him in his shin and he immediately clutched it.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Lexa sneered as she punched Finn square in his face and he went down completely. Clarke saw that Lexa was going to continue her assault and she quickly grabbed a hold of the girl.

"Calm down." Clarke could feel Lexa's heart beat from the hand she placed on Lexa's chest to hold her back. Lexa was fighting against her, but Clarke held strong. Finn was on the ground, groaning in pain and Clarke didn't even try to tell herself that this wasn't happening.

It was.

Clarke kept Lexa back because she finally saw the fire in her eyes and she knew if she didn't hold her back that she could seriously hurt Finn. Finn hadn't gotten up yet and Clarke held Lexa close.

"Leave him." Lexa was growling and Clarke can understand why. Clarke was angry, but she had no right to be.

"You're a fucking slut, Clarke! Three years! We've only been married for five! Three years out of our fucking marriage and you've been sleeping with someone else! Another woman!" Finn cried.

"Finn, calm down!" Her mother yelled and she saw as Raven, Octavia and Anya watched with wide eyes.

Finn slowly got up and Clarke was caught off guard by that action. Lexa had pushed her out of the way, not enough to hurt her, just enough to get her out of the way. Finn charged at Lexa again and they went down, guns-a-blazing. Lexa was on top of Finn and she was punching him left and right and Clarke was calling at her to stop. She desperately looked at Lincoln. He was the only one big enough to get Lexa completely off Finn. Finn was hitting Lexa left and right too and it sounded like a fucking UFC fight in here. Lincoln quickly went into action and tried to grab at Lexa, but took everyone by complete shock when she pushed him and he went stumbling back into the wall. Lexa focused on her target, which was Finn.

Octavia got up and rushed over to Lincoln's side. Clarke watched on helplessly as Lexa was throwing punch after punch to Finn's face. Lincoln looked like he was in pain and Clarke made her decision.

She was going to try and stop Lexa.

Clarke decided to just go for it. She charged for Lexa and Lexa tried to push her off, but Clarke wrapped her hands around Lexa's waist and pulled her away. Lexa was trying to get her off of her, but Clarke pushed Lexa into the ground and climbed on top of her. Lincoln quickly sprang into action and held Finn down as well, even though he was rolling around in pain.

"Lexa, stop!" Clarke yelled, but Lexa was thrashing around under her. Clarke leaned down by her ear, even though Lexa was trying to push her off.

"We can do this, Lexa," Clarke said lowly. "We can fight." Lexa seemed to calm down after that. She stopped moving and Clarke looked down at her. Her face wasn't as bruised as she thought, but there were a few forming. Clarke then looked over to Finn and saw one of his eyes swollen shut.

"Are you done?" Clarke breathed out as she looked back at Lexa. Clarke had her hands pinned down and she was on top of her.

"Yes." Lexa sneered and Clarke slowly removed herself from the girl. Lexa got up slowly and Clarke gently guided her to the coffee table and she stayed close to her. Lincoln helped Finn up and Clarke gasped. He looked terrible. It wasn't as bad as Lexa's face and she knew Lexa didn't hold back. Clarke hovered over Lexa and she put a hand on her shoulder. She wanted to make sure Lexa didn't charge for Finn again and a part of her just wanted contact with the girl.

"You looked me in the eye and you told me you weren't cheating. You lied straight to my fuckin' face and with someone who was suppose to be my friend! You're a fucking slut, Clarke!" Clarke tried not to let Finn's words get to her, but they did. It stung hearing her own husband call her a slut, but maybe she deserved it.

"Tell me why," Finn probed as he stood on shaky legs. "Tell me why you cheated on me with her. Someone who is just supposed to be your best friend. Why her, Clarke? Why-"

"Finn, stop!" Clarke sobbed. This was getting out of control. It already was. Her baby girl was upstairs with her dad and she was probably scared, Clarke was too. This was supposed to be her birthday party. A fun, exciting day for Sam. Instead, it had turned into a blood brawl and Clarke wanted to cry.

"No! Not until you tell me, why you decided to sleep with Lexa? What the fuck were you thinking, Clarke? What the fuck-"

"I love her!" The room was already silent but Clarke could hear the mic drop. She just dropped the bomb on everyone and she knew Finn was going to explode again.

That was not what she was going to say, really. She was going to tell Finn to leave the room so Lexa could calm down. She was going to tell Finn how sorry she was. She was going to tell Finn that they shouldn't have done this here, in front of everyone. Clarke was glad all the other parents left because things were getting so bad, just like she knew they were going too. Clarke shouldn't have said it, but Finn called her a slut. He just thought that she was sleeping around with someone, but she wasn't. She loved Lexa and she just let everyone know that, including Lexa.

She heard Lexa let out an audibly gasp and Clarke took a glance at her. She was looking up at her with the widest, but softest eyes. She had that questioning look in them and Clarke nodded slightly, letting her know that she was telling the truth. They both knew, Lexa believed deep down inside of her that Clarke could love her. She remembered the slip-up and she remembered everything really. How they knew that this wasn't just sex anymore.

They knew.

They always did.

No one said anything and Lincoln was still holding Finn back. Lexa looked almost completely calm and Clarke was grateful, but she still stood beside her. She heard her friends gasp and she closed her eyes again and she thought about how nice it would be to get away. She needed to.

Clarke turned and looked straight at Finn, "I love her!" She said again and she wanted to say it over and over. It felt amazing to say. _Absolutely amazing._ She wanted to go outside and shout it but she could hear the thunder, even from here. She wondered if the weather had anything to do with her current situation. Like, maybe the skies knew what was going to happen and it got all dark and grey out and the thunder was like a god yelling a her because she messed up.

"To Hell with that, Clarke! You don't love her!" Finn yelled and Clarke saw his blood drying. She could smell the metal in the air.

"I can't believe you." Finn said quietly and Clarke felt bad. She was going through so many emotions and it got worse when she caught sight of her daughter. She immediately ran over to Lexa and Clarke wanted to tell her to go back upstairs.

"What's happening? What's going on?" Sam asked scared, but Lexa didn't say anything. She was glaring at Finn and Clarke knew that look.

"No, Lexa!" Clarke immediately shouted and Lexa then glared at her. Clarke swallowed hard, but she held her ground. Lexa let out a growl, but she stayed where she was. Clarke knew she should've told Lexa she loved her. What the hell was she thinking blurting it out right now in front of everyone? She was a fool, really. She made things ten times worse, but she felt lighter. She finally told Finn she was cheating and she finally told Lexa she loved her.

This wasn't the way she wanted to do it, though. She should've told Lexa when they were on the phone or in those two weeks leading up to Sam's birthday, where they had nothing but hot, passionate sex. She should've told Lexa then, not now. Not like this. She knew she had messed up and Lexa wasn't talking, she wasn't moving and her heart broke at the sight of her daughter. She watched as her daughter turned around and saw her dad.

"Daddy?" Sam called quietly and Clarke sprang into action again.

"Dad, please, take her out of her." She knew her dad wasn't going to go outside. It was literally pouring, but she needed Sam away from the chaos. Lexa was barely holding it together and it looked like Finn was doing the same thing.

"Everyone needs to calm down!" Raven then shouted as she got up from her spot.

"Easy for you to say! You didn't just find out that your wife of five fucking years was cheating on you with her best friend for three of them and she's apparently in love." Finn sneered and she heard a gasp.

It was loud and deep and she knew who it belonged too. Her dad didn't leave yet. He was trying to get Sam to come with him, but she wouldn't. He looked up in shock at what Finn just said and Clarke felt her heart drop. Did he view her differently? He finally knew what his daughter was really up to.

She was being heartless and she was being selfish and she got her own pleasure out of it. She got pleasure out of Lexa. She knew all the nights she came home late, she was hurting her husband, even if he had no idea what she was up to. Now everyone knew. Everyone knew the monster she was and had become. But, was she really a monster for loving someone? So deeply and passionately?

Was she really a monster?

Her dad finally got Sam to come with him. He didn't look back at his daughter. Clarke decided not to think about that. Lexa and Finn both needed ice and she figured she would go get them some.

But, not without Lexa.

Finn took it the wrong way. How she catered more for Lexa than she did him. He watched in absolute jealousy as Clarke took Lexa into the kitchen and found her an ice pack for her hands. They were more bruised than the rest of her. She still looked beautiful, even with with a huge, red bruise coating the side of her face. Abby came in and got an ice pack and Clarke knew it was for Finn.

Clarke didn't say anything to her mother and her mother didn't say anything to her. She cared for Lexa and cleaned off the dried blood on her face and her mother left wordlessly. Clarke didn't say anything to Lexa and Clarke had the decency to blush. She just shouted twice that she was in love with the girl and now she was in here with her alone. Lexa didn't say anything either and Clarke wasn't sure what to do.

"I'm sorry." Lexa said softly and the look in her eye made Clarke tremble. She was trying to hold it all together. For herself. For Lexa. For Finn. For her daughter.

But, looking into Lexa's eyes made Clarke tremble and before she knew it, her body wracked with sobs. She cried harder than she thought she ever had. She ruined her daughter's birthday. She ruined her marriage even more and she ruined her reputation with her friends. They knew that Clarke and Finn were probably on the path to a divorce. Even Jasper and Monty knew. But, they didn't know she was cheating.

"Your jaw looks swollen, but other than that your face looks fine." Clarke observed quietly as she sniffled.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Lexa asked. "I'm sorry about what just happened, but what the hell was that? Why did you have to tell everyone like this? Why did you throw us under the fuckin' bus, Clarke and at her birthday party?" Clarke could see the anger in Lexa's eyes, but she didn't back away from her.

"Lexa, I'm sorry-" Clarke tried to apologize, but Lexa wasn't having it.

"I need to leave." Lexa stated.

"No, Lexa, this weather is terrible, just stay here." Clarke tried.

"And what? Watch everything go to shit? It's already has. I'm leaving. This wasn't the way to tell me, Clarke. You shouldn't have said that." Clarke was expecting an 'I love you too' or 'it's okay'. She did get an apology, but Lexa looks pissed. Clarke knew she should've just told Lexa then. In the quiet of her house, with her daughter helping her cook. She should've told her then, maybe she wouldn't have blurted it out right now. Lexa would have already known and she wouldn't have to prove it to Finn. But, she did. She proved to Finn that she wasn't being a slut, instead just sleeping with a girl she was in love with. Clarke should've told her before. Lexa removed the ice from her hands and started walking towards the door.

"Lexa, wait!" Clarke tried to stop her, but Lexa was on a heated trail towards the front door. Clarke couldn't get to her in time. She watched as she walked out of the front door and didn't look back. Clarke stood there and watched the love of her life walk away. Clarke slowly walked back into the family room and saw Finn sitting on the coffee table, where Lexa was only moments ago.

"I can't believe you opened your legs for someone else." Finn spat and Clarke gasp. She faintly heard the thunder outside and the rain and she cursed herself. She wondered where Lexa was. Clarke didn't say anything and her daughter ran up to her.

"What's happening?" Clarke looked down at her daughter sadly. She couldn't believe she let this happen on her daughter's birthday, all because of someone who wouldn't be quiet. She should've been the bigger person, but the mom was pointing things out that she tried years to cover up. She knew. And now, everyone else did too. Clarke looked around the room at the mortified faces and there was no point in even trying to close her eyes. She crouched down to be at eye-level with her daughter.

"Lexa and daddy are mad. They had a fight, didn't they?" Sam asked and Clarke nodded sadly.

"It's okay now."

"Daddy's face is messed up." Sam pointed out sadly.

"I know."

"I'm scared." Sam admitted.

"Don't be." Clarke stood up and she was face to face with her dad. He looked at her long and hard. She felt like a test subject being evaluated for everything little thing.

"I'm sorry." Clarke muttered.

Her dad didn't say anything. Clarke wished Lexa was here, it's been ten minutes since she left. Everyone was still here, where was there to go? It was absolutely horrendous outside and Clarke had that feeling.

She didn't think that today was going to be bad. In fact, she thought this was going to be a great day. She was going to be in the presence of Lexa and her daughter will be turning six. She didn't think it was going to turn up like this. She didn't think this would be a bad day.

Finn didn't say anything while his daughter was around, but Clarke saw as he would glare daggers at her. Clarke was just glad her daughter didn't actually know what was going on.

Raven caught her eye and she tilted her head, _is this true?_

Clarke exhaled a breath, _yes._

Raven watched her in silence after that. She felt like everyone was judging her and well, they should be.

She cheated.

She messed up.

She was sleeping with her best friend.

She lied to her husband.

They should judge her.

She hadn't heard anything from Lexa and the awkward silence that they have fallen into was rubbing her the wrong way. Something wasn't right.

It was confirmed when Anya got a call a few minutes later. A call that interrupted the silence that had fallen over them. Clarke watched as Anya answered it and she saw the look on her face.

She watched as Anya's hands immediately started shaking.

She watched as Anya's face paled.

She watched as Anya listened closely and Clarke's stomach started rolling.

Something wasn't right.

Clarke looked around the room again and she thought about how only one person was missing. Everyone else is here. All the other parents went home. It was just her parents and her friends. But, there was one person missing.

And Clarke's heart stopped.

_No._

She listened as the wind and rain hit the windows. She listened to the thunder and she saw the lightening and Clarke's heart broke.

_No._

Clarke listened as Anya told whoever was on the phone that she would be there right away and how Anya stopped and listened to whatever the person was saying.

Something wasn't right and it was confirmed.

Anya hung up the phone and she looked at Clarke. Clarke has never seen Anya look so hurt in her life.

Clarke should've tried harder. She should've made her stay. Why didn't she try harder? Anya didn't have to tell her, she knew.

Anya told her anyway and Clarke fell to her knees and her mom quickly ran over to her. Anya told everyone what happened and Clarke listened with every fiber in her being.

She knew something wasn't right.

It was confirmed.

When Anya said those words that absolutely crushed her.

"Lexa got into an accident and the doctors say she's in critical condition."

_This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening._

It was happening.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to point out that Lexa did not get into a motorcycle accident. She drove her car over to the birthday party and she got into a car accident when she left.  
> Also, sorry for any mistakes. I write and edit this story all by myself.

Clarke wasn't sure why she was out of breath. She also wasn't sure how she got here. She looked around the lobby confused, until she saw Lexa's mom. Clarke quickly rushed over to her.

"Clarke, slow down." Raven heaved after running after Clarke, completely out of breath. Clarke wasn't listening to her though. She made a beeline to Lexa's parents.

"How is she?" Clarke blurted out. Indra looked at her, she wasn't shocked, and she thought that Clarke was a very beautiful woman, but she didn't look too good right now.

"She's still in surgery." Indra answered.

"Clarke!" Clarke turned around and saw her mother and she tried to remember how she got here. She knew she didn't drive. Her mom was rushing over to them, the same time a nurse came over. Clarke recognized the nurse, her name was Harper.

"Why did none of you call me?" Abby asked Harper, who looked like a deer-caught-in-headlights.

"Ma'am. You said it was your granddaughter's birthday. You've schedule this for months. Today was your day off, everyone knew that and no one bothered you." Harper said calmly and Abby frowned.

"Oh, right. Of course," Abby looked over to her daughter and then back at Harper.  "Lexa Woods. Got into a car accident. Where is she?"

"Are you going to scrub in? I'm sorry, but she isn't your patient, so I can't tell you." Harper said apologetically as Octavia and Lincoln rushed in with Sam.

"Of course, I'm scrubbing in. Now, tell me what's going on." Abby stated and Harper nodded.

"I can tell you, but not them. They aren't family, besides her parents." Harper said as she looked over at Clarke and her friends. She had seen her on multiple occasions because she was Abby's daughter.

Thelonious Jaha walked over to them, "Abby, Clarke, isn't it Sam's birthday?" Thelonious asked confused and Clarke wanted to throw up. She didn't want to talk about that, she wanted to know how Lexa was.

Clarke's hair was wet. In fact, all of her was wet. Her clothes, her shoes. It was still pouring rain outside, but it wasn't as bad as before. Before Lexa left. Clarke shook her head. She didn't want to think about that either.

"Lexa Woods. She should've gotten here, maybe a half hour ago. How is she?" Abby asked

Clarke watched as Thelonious' expression changed. She knew that look. She had seen her mom wearing that same frown when she gave her upsetting news.

_No._

"Did you guys drive here? That wasn't safe," Thelonious said instead of answering her mom. "You guys should've-"

"Thelonious!" Clarke let out a roar. She didn't mean to, but her patience was running thin. Too thin. It was completely running out and Clarke just wanted Lexa. Thelonious looked over at her with wide eyes, but Clarke wasn't going to apologize for her outburst.

"Even if she wasn't in surgery. I wouldn't be able to tell you, Clarke." Thelonious said quietly. Clarke was shaking and she wasn't sure if it was from the withdrawal of Lexa or because of her wet clothes.

"And if she was out of surgery, it would be family members only." Thelonious added. Clarke balled her fists up and she glared at the doctor before her.

"I'm scrubbing in." Abby informed him.

"Abby that is not necessary. You are my chief of surgery, but we have it handled." Thelonious said.

"I'm scrubbing in." Abby said with determination and Thelonious sighed.

"Fine," Thelonious rushed off and so did Abby. But, before Abby left, she looked back at her daughter.

"She's going to be okay. I won't stop until she is." Abby murmured and Clarke nodded at her gratefully.

"If she- if she, you know- I- can you tell her-" Clarke was having the hardest time forming her sentence which was ironic because she was blurting out the same words only hours ago, that she was struggling with right now.

"I will." Abby understood what she was trying to say and she looked at her with sad eyes before she rushed off. Anya came rushing in as soon as Abby left.

"I finally managed to get a spot. Jesus Christ, Clarke, warn me next time you decide to take off in the rain like that." Anya chided as she went to embrace her parents.

And Clarke remembered. She remembered getting up off the floor and immediately going to get her keys. She remembered Raven snatching them out of her hands and telling her to stay here, to which she snatched them back and she ran out the door. She remembered them all following her. She remembered the rain letting up to where it wouldn't be bad to drive. She remembered how Anya did in fact drive over here and not her. She blocked everything else out and she thought about Lexa on the way over here. So, when she got here, she immediately opened the door. Anya hadn't even put it in park yet and she ran to the entrance of the hospital and she got drenched, but she didn't care. She had to see Lexa.

She remembered acting like an absolute crazy person trying to get to the girl she loved.

"I'm sorry." Clarke said sheepishly and her daughter came up to her.

"Why are we here?" Sam asked curiously and Clarke didn't have the heart to tell her. Finn didn't come with them, she wasn't all that surprised, but she looked around the waiting room and she saw all of her friends here. They took two separate cars so they could all come here together and Clarke couldn't believe she managed to block it all out until she got to the hospital. Her body was on high alert and it was waiting for Lexa to be okay. It wasn't going to rest until she knew.

"Who wants ice-cream?" Monty walked over to them and Clarke looked at Monty thankfully.

"Yeah, I'm feeling up for some ice-cream." Jasper added. Clarke knows Sam has had enough cake and ice-cream today, but she felt like the world's most terrible mom. She wasn't going to say no.

"Yeah, sweetie. Why don't you go get some ice-cream?" Clarke offered and Sam nodded happily.

"Okay." Sam shrugged. Clarke's heart tugged because she knew her daughter was going to find out eventually.

"No offense," Raven started out quietly. "We all took umbrellas over here and if you didn't hop out of the car like a crazy woman, then you wouldn't have gotten so wet. You should change." Raven informed her.

"Into what?" Clarke asked.

"Before Jasper and Monty came, I had them go back, Finn is nowhere to be found and they got you some clothes. That's why they showed up after Lincoln and Octavia." Raven explained as she bent down and lifted up a bag.

"Go change." Raven instructed softly and Clarke smiled at her sadly.

"Thank you."

"It's no problem."

* * *

 

Clarke had to admit, she felt a lot better once she got into dry clothes, which included a new pair of underwear and a bra. Which meant that Jasper and Monty went through her underwear drawer and she bets they had a field day with that. Clarke walked out over to the waiting room and she picked up her pace when she saw her mom and Thelonious.

"How is she?" Her mom was talking to Indra and Thelonious was talking to Gustus.

"I'm sorry, Clarke, but you aren't family." Clarke tried not to let her emotions get the better of her (they did). Everyone got a taste of just how much Clarke cared for Lexa, because she lost it.

"Goddammit!" She yelled at Thelonious with rage in her eyes. "Why won't you just tell me?!" She yelled again and Thelonious' eyes widened. Raven immediately rushed over to her, but she didn't touch her. She knew better.

"Once she is awake and up. She'll be up for visitors, but you would still have to wait because it's family members only."

There was a stand, about three-feet tall of neatly stacked magazines and it was Clarke's closest target. She kicked over the stand with all the built-up anger inside of her and she wished she could do it again.

"Thelonious!" She growled and this time Raven did grab a hold of her and she held on tight. She knew Clarke wouldn't hurt the man, but Raven was quickly figuring out, the more Clarke was away from Lexa, the more crazier she got. Maybe Clarke did love Lexa. Clarke immediately wrapped her arms around Raven's waist and Raven held her close.

"Shh, it's okay. You'll see her soon." Raven whispered into her ear and Clarke nodded. Raven didn't let go of Clarke and Clarke kept nodding. Her mom looked over at her with sad eyes, but she focused on her patient's parents.

* * *

 

Some time had passed and Clarke couldn't lie and say she wasn't tired, because she was. Sam came back with Jasper and Monty and she was currently sitting on Clarke's lap. It was nearing ten o'clock at night and she noticed Sam's yawns. Lexa hadn't woken up yet and she just got out of surgery. Her parents went to go see her, but there was nothing to really say when they came back because Lexa wasn't up yet.

"Maybe, I could call Finn and he can come get her," Octavia offered softly. Sam was already starting to drift off in her arms. Clarke nodded slowly. She didn't want to see Finn, but her daughter was tired. "Or maybe, you could go home and come back tomorrow." Clarke immediately starting shaking her head, she wasn't leaving until she got to see Lexa.

"There's really no point in staying, Clarke. I know you don't want to hear this, but you won't see her until tomorrow anyways. You should go home. Me and Rae will come with you." Octavia offered again and Clarke thought it over. It would kill her to leave Lexa there. What if she woke up and she was nowhere to be found? She knew it would be just her parents seeing her, but she would eventually get to see her. Maybe she should go home, her baby girl was tired.

"Okay." Octavia looked relieved that Clarke agreed and she looked over at Raven.

"We will totally stay with you." Raven repeated. Jasper and Monty were dosing off in the corner and Raven kicked them awake. They both woke up with a start and wiped the drool off of their faces.

"We are taking Clarke home, come with us, we are going to stay the night." Monty nodded at that and got up.

"Will you be okay, babe?" Raven asked Anya and Anya nodded.

"Yeah, I'm going to stay with my parents, but you go. Clarke needs you." Anya said and she was going to give her a kiss, but she thought otherwise. It took her by surprise what her sister was doing, she had no idea, but it made sense. She thought about the night at the strip club and how Lexa walked away so easily. She thought it had something to do with Clarke now. Clarke gathered Sam up and they all headed to her car.

* * *

 

Once she got Sam down, she walked back into the kitchen where she knew her friends would be waiting for her. She looked over to the family room and remembered the events that happened with sad eyes. She was sure that Finn was probably at his hotel. It was technically still supposed to be his weekend, but he left and hadn't contacted her. She wasn't all that surprised. Clarke walked into the kitchen and her friends were sitting around the table. She cleared her throat softly and she sat down too. Jasper looked up at Clarke and she could just see the disappointment, even if he wasn't trying to show it.

"You were cheating this whole time?" Jasper asked quietly and Clarke exhaled.

"Yes." She breathed.

"I mean, we just talked about you getting a divorce. Why didn't you mention this, Clarke? I'm not judging you, you could've told us." Octavia said and Clarke shrugged.

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know how to tell you."

"Yet, you blurted it out in front of everyone." Jasper spat and she could understand why he was mad. He was really good friends with Finn.

"Jasper, chill out." Raven scolded and that seemed to keep him quiet.

"Did you mean it?" Monty asked. "When you said you loved her?"

"Did you see how she acted at the hospital?" Raven asked immediately and everyone stayed quiet, because they wanted to hear it from Clarke, even Raven.

"Yes, I love her. I knew what I was doing and I was having sex with her." Clarke told them. She wasn't sure what to say next. Her relationship with Lexa was kept so private and on the low that it felt weird that everyone else knew. They were all bursting the bubble they were in. But, she was the one who blew it (pun-intended). She blew the bubble and it popped all over her and now everyone knew. She blew it with Finn because the lack of communication from him was starting to worry her, because this was still his weekend to have Sam.

"I'm sorry," Jasper muttered. "It's just hard to believe. I mean, we just thought you guys were really close. We didn't know that you were sleeping with her."

"Do you think Finn might do something stupid?" Lincoln asked and Clarke almost forgot he was here. He was so quiet sometimes.

"He might. He looked really hurt and who knows what he's doing,"  Clarke shrugged again. "I just want Lexa." Clarke blushed at that, she hadn't meant to say that out loud. Her word vomit was serious today.

"Wow, you really do love her." Octavia said in amazement.

"Will you guys get together? After everything calms down?" Raven asked and Clarke hoped that they would. But, she messed up big time. She was also aware of the fact that Lexa had so readily left her when she told her 'I love you'. Lexa had to have known that she did, she knew Lexa did. She could tell that Lexa was building up those walls Clarke spent so long trying to break down. Clarke knew she caught Lexa off guard with her declaration.

But, did that make it right that Lexa just left? Did it make it right that Lexa left her to deal with the aftermath? Clarke wished so desperately that Lexa would had just stayed. Then, she wouldn't be in the hospital and she wouldn't have to have any surgery and Clarke was starting to panic again. She wanted to see Lexa, she wanted her to know she was here, even though Lexa walked out. Clarke thought it would be her to flee the scene, but she wasn't going too. She knew of the emotional turmoil Lexa was going through. But, Lexa made it so clear, so many times that she loved her. So, why did she run when Clarke finally said it?

Clarke liked to wish she said it over a nice candle-lit dinner. Clarke liked to wish she said it while they curled up to each other after having sex. Clarke liked to wish she would've said it sooner, instead of right now. But, she wasn't going to apologize for it. It was going to happen and this was such a shitty way for it to happen, but it did. And, there was nothing she could do about it besides embrace it.

She was happy to embrace it.

"I hope so." She admitted after she let out a yawn.

"We should all get some sleep." Lincoln suggested and Clarke nodded.

"Make yourselves at home." There were two guest rooms upstairs for either one of them to sleep in and there was also two rooms downstairs in the basement. She knew her friends would make themselves at home. They were always welcomed and Clarke couldn't deny how tired she was.

Clarke was going to sleep in her room, she was. But, she opened the door to her daughter's room and snuck in. Sam had a regular twin-size bed and she didn't even take up that much room. Clarke tip-toed over to her daughter and her heart melted at the peaceful look on her face. She hated what she did today and she would probably hate it for the rest of her life. Clarke crawled into bed quietly, but she still woke her little girl up.

"Mommy?" She asked sleepily and Clarke melted even further.

"Yes, baby. Mommy is here." Sam immediately wrapped herself around her mom and she held her tight. Sam slept with a flashlight and Clarke caught sight of her sad, blue eyes.

"Something is wrong with Lexa, isn't there?" Clarke wanted to cry at her daughter's question, but she knew if she cried, her daughter will know. Maybe, she just should.

"Yes." Clarke said sadly.

"I'm sad." It wasn't midnight yet, it was still Sam's birthday and she knew this was a crappy way for her daughter to turn six. She admitted that she was cheating on her husband, Finn and Lexa fought, she proclaimed her love for Lexa and Lexa walked out and got into a car accident. Clarke didn't let herself be the bigger person. Her daughter clung to her and she held on just as tight.

"Me too."

Clarke held onto her daughter for the whole night, while her heart thudded in her chest.

_Lexa, Lexa, Lexa, Lexa._

* * *

 

When Clarke finished giving Sam a bath and got her dressed, she was ready to head off to the hospital again. She walked downstairs and into the kitchen to find Raven making breakfast.

"Morning, sunshine." Raven smiled at her and she smiled back. Raven titled her cheek towards Clarke and Clarke gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

"Gross, Griffin-Collins." Raven stopped at that when she realized what she had said. It was just a natural reaction, she had gotten so used to calling her by that name, it just slipped out.

"I'm sorry." Raven immediately said and Clarke shook her head. She didn't want to think about her last name and all the stuff she had to do to change it.

"It's okay." Clarke said, trying not to sound awkward. She didn't want to make Raven feel bad.

"Yay, waffles!" Sam said happily, when she saw what Raven was making.

"Do you want to see Lexa today?" Clarke asked and Sam nodded enthusiastically.

"She's going to be in the hospital. Do you remember what I told you about people who go to the hospital?" Clarke asked as she made Sam's plate.

"Yes. People go there to die." Sam said seriously and Raven gaped at her.

"Sam! That's not exactly what I said." Clarke chided.

"You also said people go there when they are seriously hurt," Sam paused. "Is Lexa hurt?" She asked with big eyes and Clarke sighed.

"Yes."

"Did daddy do it?" Sam asked quietly.

"No, Sam. Daddy didn't do it. Lexa got into an accident and she went to the hospital." Clarke explained softly.

"I wanna go see her!" Sam cried.

"We will. But, you need to eat first."

* * *

 

Clarke's heart was racing, she was walking up to the room Lexa was in. Lexa was finally allowed visitors that weren't just her family. Clarke awkwardly apologized to Thelonious and he accepted like it was nothing. He didn't hold it against her and Clarke was so grateful for it.

Clarke's heart thudded in her chest. She was finally getting ready to see Lexa after everything that happened. Clarke didn't necessarily want to see Lexa like this, but she wanted to talk to the girl. They had a lot to talk about. Was Lexa mad at her? Did she let everything go? Did she even remember what happened? Clarke hoped to god that she did. Clarke walked into the room with Sam on her hip and was surprised at the greeting she got.

Lexa looked up when she heard the door open and she smiled despite herself, when she saw Clarke. Their eyes met and there were so many words said between them.

"Clarke!" Lexa cried and Clarke walked over to her. She wasn't sure what to do, she knew what she wanted to do, but Anya and Octavia were there. Raven was in the bathroom and Lincoln was in the corner.

"I'm so glad you are okay!" Clarke cried back and she embraced Lexa. She would be damned if she couldn't. She was so overwhelmed with emotions and she had to touch the girl in some way. Lexa looked at Clarke and she couldn't quite make out what Lexa was trying to convey to her.

"I know we just got here, but we can take Sam and you guys can talk." Octavia offered and Clarke looked over at her with gratitude.

"Could you?" Clarke asked shyly. Sam was wiggling out of Clarke's arm and she tried to climb up on the bed with Lexa.

"Wait, Sam-" Clarke tried to stop her, but Lexa shook her head.

"It's okay." Lexa said. Sam crawled over Lexa softly. She remembered what her mom told her in the car about how she couldn't be rough with Lexa, but she was scared and wanted to hug Lexa.

"Hey, squirt." Lexa greeted softly. Sam stared at her with sad eyes.

"You're hurt." Sam stated as she touched Lexa bruised cheek. Lexa had a few cuts on her face and a huge bruise on the opposite cheek that Finn didn't hit.

"I'm okay." Lexa said, even though she wasn't. But, she didn't want Sam to worry.

"Sam, come on. Let's go for a walk." Octavia offered and Sam shook her head.

"No, I wanna stay with Lexa." Sam wrapped her arms around Lexa protectively and Lexa tried not to wince.

"Sam, go with Octavia. You will see Lexa later." Clarke demanded. Sam huffed and she let go of Lexa.

"I love you." Sam said and she kissed Lexa's forehead and Lexa tried her hardest not to cry.

"I love you, too." She said with a lump in her throat. They all left, including Raven who just came out of the bathroom. The second they were alone Clarke connected her lips to Lexa and she cried. She was so scared and afraid and when she talked to Indra before she came up to the room, she told her that Lexa was okay and made it through surgery.

"You scared me." Clarke said against her lips. She felt Lexa tremble beneath her.

"I'm so sorry." Lexa sobbed.

"Don't be, baby."

"I shouldn't have left you. I shouldn't-" Lexa cried.

"Shh, baby. I'm right here." Clarke held Lexa as she cried. Lexa scooted over so Clarke could sit down next to her. Her face was covered in cuts and she had a few bruises here and there.

"How bad is it?" Clarke asked over Lexa's sobs.

"A sprained ankle, my whole leg is messed up basically, I can barely walk. They said I was going to need physical therapy for that. Also, a couple of broken ribs, but other than that, I'm fine. They said I got lucky." Lexa cried and Clarke kissed her forehead.

"Are you mad at me?" Lexa squeaked.

"I'm a little mad at you. There's a lot of stuff we need to talk about, but it can wait. The only thing I want to focus on, is you. I'm so glad you are okay." Clarke said gently and Lexa nodded.

"I messed up." Lexa rasped.

"So, did I." Clarke held Lexa until Lexa's mom came in. Indra observed them quietly, noticing the death grip they both had on each other. Anya had told her what happened yesterday and she sighed.

"Um, Clarke. I hate to be the one to say this, but Finn is here." Clarke immediately detached herself from Lexa the same time Octavia came in with Sam. By the look on their faces, they couldn't have known Finn was here. Clarke immediately opened her arms and Octavia handed Sam over. Abby walked through the door, followed by Anya, Raven and Lincoln. Abby was getting ready to talk, before Finn busted through the door.

"Give me my daughter!" Finn demanded as he barged through the door. Clarke immediately handed Sam over to Lexa and got up.

"Finn, get out." Clarke said calmly.

"Not without my daughter." Finn said through gritted teeth.

"You left to go wherever it is you went and you left her with me so therefore, you aren't getting her back." Clarke spat back.

"Give me my daughter!" Finn yelled.

"No!" Clarke yelled back and Abby watched on sadly. She watched her son-in-law fight with her daughter and her heart hurt. She didn't want this for Sam.

"You know what, Clarke. You can have your divorce, I don't want nothing to do with you and mark my words, I'm taking you to court and I'm filing for full custody." Finn growled. Clarke gasped at that. She was fine with the divorce, but would he really take her to court and file for full-custody? Clarke was getting anxiety just thinking about it.

"Calm down, Finny boy." Lexa said nonchalantly as if she was talking about the weather.

"You shut up. You're lucky my daughter is here, because there are so many things I want to say to you right now." Finn said annoyed and Lexa rolled her eyes.

"I'm so scared." She said sarcastically.

"This isn't over." Finn pointed a finger towards Clarke and she glared at him.

Sam watched on sadly and Abby sighed again, "Finn, leave. Now. Before I call security."

"Enjoy your time with her, because you're not getting her back." Finn grumbled before he turned on his heel and left. Clarke wasn't facing Sam, she had her back to her and she let a few tears slip out. She hated herself for letting Finn get to her, but he did. She knew if they ever did go to court, she had the upper hand because she was the one who had been taking care of Sam ever since she was born. She had a job, though, her second job was a stay-at-home- mom. She couldn't even imagine having half-custody of Sam. Was this how Finn was going to act? Using his daughter because he was hurt?

Clarke hated to think like that, but a part of her thought it was true. Would Finn even want Sam full-time? Finn already looked overwhelmed with the thought of taking her for the weekend. Did he even want her or was he doing this to spite her? Would Finn really-

"Hey, you are thinking to hard," Lexa said softly as Sam reached for her mother. Clarke took her and she looked at Lexa with soft eyes. "We can talk about it later. You're technically suppose to get her today anyways." Lexa tried to make light of the situation as Abby checked to make sure Lexa was doing okay.

Once Abby was done, she sighed again, "He'll come around."

"I don't think he will. He found out I was c-h-e-a-t-i-n-g. He's not going to come around." Clarke dreads the day Sam will finally be able to spell. She also can't wait for it.

"Jake and I will make him come around." Abby threatened.

"I think we should all sit down and talk about this." Lexa suggested quietly and Clarke whipped her head back to her.

"Over my dead body." Clarke spat.

"Clarke-" Lexa sighed.

"No. Do you know how awkward this is going to be? To have both of you there while we share a meal and try to be civil? It's not happening." Clarke said stubbornly.

"You are overreacting." Lexa pointed out and Clarke let out a low chuckle and sat her daughter down on the couch by the window.

"I'm overreacting," Clarke walked over to Lexa and looked her straight in the eyes. "I'm not the one who got into a fight yesterday. I'm also not the one who walked out after I told them, I love you. I'm not overreacting, Lexa. I'm not the one on the damn hospital bed." Clarke growled out and Lexa stared up at her in shock.

"I told you," Clarke reminded her. "We can do this." Lexa glared up at her, but she didn't say anything and everyone listened to Clarke threaten Lexa quietly.

Abby sighed again, "Would you cut it out?" Abby rolled her eyes and Clarke backed off.

"We should go." Clarke announced as she looked over to Sam.

"But, I want to stay with Lexa." Sam argued.

"And, now we are leaving." Clarke argued back.

"You guys don't have to leave." Lexa said desperately. There were so many things Clarke wanted to say to Lexa and no one of them were all that good. She was so hurt about everything that happened and for some reason, she couldn't get the fact that Lexa walked out on her. Why did she have to do that? And why did it have to mess with Clarke so bad?

She just wanted, in some way, for Lexa to know how she felt. She finally told her and Lexa walked out on her. Clarke was right, Lexa might always have her war paint on and she thought she had removed some of it, or maybe even all of it, but it was still there and she didn't know when Lexa would ever take it off. Was it the fact that her saying 'I love you' made this all the more real? Did she get scared and start backing out? She knew the situation they were put in was a scary one, but why couldn't she just stick by her side? Why did she have to leave her?

Clarke overlooked it when she first got here, because she wanted Lexa to be okay. She wanted to be with the girl, but now that Finn had barged in her and demanded to have his daughter back and she thought about the events that occurred yesterday.

"Clarke-" Lexa tried.

"You shouldn't have walked out." Clarke said with a lump in her throat.

"I'm sorry-"

"We should go." Clarke repeated.

"We will be back, but I just- I have to go." Clarke said as she picked Sam up and Sam didn't argue with her.

"Clarke!" Lexa yelled after her, but this time Clarke walked out on her and Clarke wanted Lexa to get a taste of her own medicine, even if Clarke didn't want to leave. Being in that room was making Clarke feel like she was suffocating, she just needed some air. Lexa was the one person who had been her rock since all of this started and she so readily walked out on her. And, Clarke didn't care if she was acting like a baby right now. It wasn't just her she was thinking about.

What if the going got tough and Lexa couldn't handle her and Sam? What if they got together and got into a fight and she so readily gave up? She already knew Sam was hurt by everything that was happening. But, Lexa didn't just walk out on her yesterday, she walked out on Sam too. Clarke walked to her car with heavy steps and the whole way there her heart was beating out of her chest.

_Lexa, Lexa, Lexa, Lexa._


	17. Chapter 17

"Are we going to go see Lexa?" Sam asked as she looked up at her mom.

"Yes." Clarke said simply.

"We are going to go watch her in physical therapy." Clarke explained and Sam nodded as if she knew what her mom was talking about.

Clarke was going to put aside her differences and go see Lexa. She hadn't seen her all week and she wanted to. Clarke walked into the hospital and Harper greeted her and told her where to find Lexa. Clarke already knew, she'd been to this hospital more than enough. When Clarke walked in, she held Sam close to her. There were a few other patients here with their physical therapists and Clarke immediately spotted Lexa over in the corner with a guy with short black hair. Clarke made her way over to her. Lexa looked up at her with pain written all over her face and she was sweating.

"Lexa!" Sam said happily and Lexa groaned.

"Honey, I know you want to hug her, but just stay here." Sam looked hurt that she couldn't hug Lexa, but shrugged.

"Hello, I'm Marcus Kane and I'm going to be Lexa's physical therapist for the weeks to come." Marcus held out his hand and Clarke shook it.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Clarke and this is my daughter, Sam." Clarke introduced them and Marcus gave her a kind smile and nodded.

"Looks like you got quite the support system." Lexa has been in the hospital for a week. She's been doing her physical therapy all week. Things haven't been the greatest between them, but that doesn't mean that Clarke isn't going to come see Lexa. She was honestly sure that nothing in this world would make her stop seeing Lexa. She knew she was still hurt about how easily she left, but was going to support Lexa through this. She knew her family was working and couldn't get off, so she finished up her work early. After she got Sam from school and gave her a snack, she came down to the hospital to see how she was doing.

She wasn't doing good at all. Clarke wasn't sure what they were doing before this, but Lexa looks _terrible_. She was in regular work out clothes that Anya had brought over, Clarke isn't sure when she was going to be discharged, but she hoped it  was soon. Clarke had also been taking care of Charlie while Lexa was here. Sam had been having a kick out of that. Clarke wasn't going to give Lexa the cold shoulder, it was clear the girl needed help and wanted to help her, regardless of their problems.

Lexa grunted, but didn't respond. Marcus kept on with what they were doing. Clarke stood off to the side with Sam and watched in pure agony as Lexa failed to do such a simple thing, like walk. She couldn't lift the weights that he gave her because of her broken ribs and Clarke felt sad that Lexa couldn't do such a simple thing that she used to be able too.

Once they finished trying the weights, Marcus stood her up and she balanced herself on the bars in between her. Marcus stood at the end of the bars and instructed her to start walking. Clarke watched on hopefully as Lexa pulled away from the bar and took a step. It was only a centimeter, but she was able to move. Abby told her that she damaged her right leg, but it wasn't broken. It was damaged enough to the point where she couldn't walk. Lexa's legs were shaking with effort. Clarke wanted to so badly help her, but that would defeat the purpose of physical therapy.

"Come on, Lexa. You can do it." Clarke heard Marcus say and she looked around to all of the other struggling patients and she focused her attention back on Lexa.

She had an idea.

It was a risky one and she knew Lexa has been working all week in her physical therapy sessions, but to no avail. It would be a big push, but she has faith in Lexa, and watching her struggle right now was breaking Clarke's heart, no matter the rocky situation they were in. Clarke listened as Marcus yelled out encouraging words to her, but Lexa was doubled over and she wasn't moving. Clarke took this as her cue.

"Come on, baby girl." Clarke grabbed a hold of Sam's hand. She walked over to where Marcus was waiting for Lexa at the finish line.

"Marcus, if I may," Clarke started as she gestured to Lexa and Marcus nodded. Lexa looked up when she heard Clarke making her way over to her. Lexa watched in confusion as she replaced Marcus.

"I want you to listen to me, Lexa." Clarke felt foolish saying that. Lexa didn't have to listen to her. Clarke walked out on her, but Lexa walked out on her too. Lexa didn't say anything, she watched on in silence and when she grunted, Clarke continued. Lexa was breathing hard and she only took one step.

"Sam we are going to play pretend, alright?" Clarke asked down to her daughter and her daughter shrugged, having no idea what her mom was going on about.

"Sam's stuck in a burning building," Clarke said loudly and that immediately caught Lexa's attention. She locked eyes with Clarke and waited for her to continue. "There are firefighters everywhere, but they can't get to her. Knowing you, you'll step in and try to do something."

Lexa stood up at that, but she still braced herself against the two sets of bars on her sides. "Sam is running out of air to breathe. The firefighters aren't getting to her," Clarke could already she as Lexa was trying to move. "She needs you, Lexa. I can't help her, my parents can't help her, only you. She needs you, Lexa. Come get her."

Marcus watched in absolute amazement as Lexa started walking and Clarke cried out in relief. There Lexa was, taking step after step and she was doing good. She was moving slow and held most of her weight up, but she was still moving. She was walking and Clarke had tears welling up in her eyes.

"That's it, Lexa. Keep going." Clarke said encouragingly and as Lexa neared the end, Clarke held out her arms to her. Lexa collapsed in her arms and Clarke held her up. Marcus was still watching in amazement and was beyond proud.

"Wow, can you come to all of our physical therapy sessions?" Marcus joked and Clarke smiled, a genuine one as she held onto Lexa.

"Good job, Lexa. I'm so proud." Clarke whispered and Lexa was smiling and she held on to Clarke. She had no other choice, if she didn't, she knows she would fall face first.

"That was a good session, Lexa. Let's call it a day. I'm so proud that you walked across there all by yourself." Marcus praised and Lexa smiled again.

"Thank you."

* * *

 

Once Lexa was showered and Clarke's dad came to get Sam while Clarke and Lexa have a much needed talk, Clarke found herself sitting on the end of Lexa's bed. The door was closed to give them some privacy and Clarke felt awkward.

"How's Charlie?" Lexa asked quietly while avoiding eye-contact.

"He's good, he's growing." Clarke commented and Lexa nodded. Lexa was getting ready to say something when Clarke sighed.

"We have to talk about this." Clarke said softly. Lexa closed her eyes and rested against her pillows.

"I know."

"Where do you want to start?" Clarke asked as she fully turned and faced Lexa.

"From the beginning probably," Lexa suggested and Clarke nodded. "I'm sorry I left in the middle of everything. I panicked, Clarke. I had just gotten into a fight and I wasn't in the right head space. I hope you can forgive me for that, but when you said what you said, I just- I don't know. I wanted to hear it so badly, Clarke. But, not like that. You put us in a really bad position, you didn't have to say that."

Clarke sat back and listened respectfully to what Lexa had to say and couldn't help but point out, that she was right. "You're right. I could've said it better, I told so many people and we agreed not too. Even if I did tell people, it mostly would've just been Finn. I understand what you are saying, I shouldn't have said it like that." Clarke agreed.

"I'm glad you said it." Lexa confessed quietly and Clarke had some hope in her heart. Some hope for them, some hope for the future.

"I wanted you to see how it felt like. I was acting like such a child and I usually don't because I have a child and I know what it's like, but I acted like a dick, but we were still in contact during that week. I mean, I took care of Charlie for you." Clarke pointed out.

"Thank you for that."

"Will you ever take down your walls?" Clarke asked suddenly as she looked over to Lexa and she could already tell she was retreating, she was clenching her jaw. Clarke scooted closer to her.

"Come on, Lexa. Don't do this." Clarke begged.

"I'm sorry, this is all I wanted and I messed it up." Lexa sighed.

"I messed up too."

"Will we ever move passed this?" Lexa then asked.

"I don't know," Clarke said honestly. "But, I hope we do because I miss you. I tell you everything and you are my best friend."

"Yeah?" Lexa asked with hopeful eyes and Clarke nodded. "You're my best friend too." Lexa added sweetly.

"I called the place we looked at for my art gallery. It's mine." Clarke stated. Lexa whipped her head up.

"Really?" Lexa asks with wide eyes.

"Yup, they signed it over to me earlier this week." Clarke squealed and Lexa giggled.

"I'm happy for you." Lexa said honestly and Clarke nodded.

"Where do we go from here?" Clarke asked, scared.

"Everyone knows and everyone has their own opinion. Your dad has been around, but it's clear he's taking this a lot harder than the rest of us, besides Jasper and Finn. I guess, the only answer is time will tell."

Jake hadn't been around as much. Clarke knew she needed to talk to him. Clarke was amazed by how supporting her mom was being and how unsupportive her dad was being. She was way closer to her dad than her mom, but over the last few weeks, ever since Abby told her she knew. Clarke and Abby have grown so closer, closer than they have ever been before and Clarke didn't know how much she missed her mom, even though she saw her all the time.

"What about us?" Clarke asked quietly.

"I don't know, Clarke. It's clear we are both hurt, but I don't want to hold anything against you."

"I shouldn't have walked out on you like that, you were just in an accident. I just shouldn't have left." Clarke scolded herself.

"And, I'm not going to hold that against you. We both made some mistakes, but I lo-" Lexa stopped. She didn't finish her sentence. Clarke knew she wasn't going too. Maybe she was waiting like Clarke should've done. "We can get through this." Lexa said instead and she swallowed hard and Clarke nodded. They both didn't talk about what just happened.

"It's starts with me taking more responsibility over your feelings. It isn't just you. It's you and Sam. You guys are a package deal and I know I messed up, but I'll spend the rest of my days making it up to you." Lexa promised.

"It hurt me, Lexa. It really did."

"I know, I'm sorry. When you walked out on me last week, it crushed me. I thought, 'maybe this is what Clarke felt when I left' I know the situations are entirely different, but I felt completely helpless. I watched my two girls walk out on me. I felt so bad for what I did. I just want you guys." Lexa said.

"I know, you're sorry. I'm sorry too." Clarke apologized. They stayed quiet for a moment, just watching each other. They didn't know what their relationship was going to come too, but they didn't think it was this.

"Thank you for earlier. It made me realize that we know how to push each other, whether it's in a good way or a bad way. I don't want to give up on us, Clarke. We didn't come all this way to go back. I know I have my walls up and you spent time knocking them down and I have them up again, but I'm going to try. For you and for Sam." Lexa said sincerely and Clarke nodded.

"Me too," Clarke rasped. "I'll try for you. Always."

Lexa smiled over at her. It was broken and lopsided, but it was a smile, nonetheless. Clarke smiled back at her with her own broken and lopsided smile.

* * *

 

Clarke was surprised when Jake offered her a drink before she left, a non-alcoholic drink. Sam greeted her mother before Jake informed her that she already ate her dinner and even had dessert. Clarke knew she couldn't stay long because she needed to get home and take care of Charlie and get Sam to bed. Clarke was liking the fact that she came home to Charlie, he was such a cute, little puppy to come home to. Sam loved it too. Clarke liked Charlie being there because it reminded her of Lexa.

What if one day Lexa came to live with them? What if they held true to their promises of opening up to each other more than they already have? They both know they want a relationship with each other, but if they do, it would be at a slow pace, for both of their sakes.

"You've been awfully quiet about this whole thing." Clarke pointed out as she sat down.

"I know, I'm sorry. I was just trying to wrap my head around-"

"That your daughter was cheating and lying about her marriage." Clarke finished for him bluntly and he nodded slowly.

"Do you look at me differently?" Clarke asked quietly.

"I don't know, it just caught me off guard. I mean, hats off to you, because no one knew what was going on." Jake said.

"Do you think I'm a slut?" Clarke cringed as she asked that question and saw her dad frown deeply at her.

"No, sweetheart. I don't, I just didn't know you were sleeping with Lexa. I mean, Finn idolized the girl, I can see why he's so broken about this." Jake reasoned and Clarke nodded slowly. She thought about what Lexa said at the hospital, about how they should all get together and talk about this.

"I'm sorry." Clarke apologized and Jake shook his head.

"You really love her?" Clarke thought about all the special moments she has had with Lexa. About how free she made her feel and about how much she wanted them to be together. Clarke knew from the very beginning, that this was more than hooking up. She knew Lexa was special and knew they had a connection with each other. For the longest time, it was about the sex, but those lines blurred when Clarke realized how much she loved Lexa. Clarke nodded her head, of course she did.

"Yes, I do." Clarke answered honestly and Jake nodded.

"I just can't believe it. Abby told me that she knew, why didn't you tell me?" Jake asked hurt and Clarke understood why. She didn't like to pick favorites, but it was obvious that she was closer to her dad, but she never told him. She didn't tell her mom either, but she figured it out.

"I didn't know how. I didn't even tell mom, she figured it out," Clarke said as she glanced at the clock. "I should go, it's getting late." Jake nodded and got up to hug his daughter.

"She makes you happy?" He asked and Clarke looked up at him.

"Yes, dad. She does." Clarke said and Jake hummed.

"Well then, I guess that's all that matters." Jake concluded and Clarke smiled up at him.

"I really love her dad, I know it in my soul. But, we have a lot of things to work on." Clarke said quietly and Jake nodded.

"With time." Jake lectured and this time Clarke nodded. She went to go gather up Sam so she could go home.

* * *

 

Clarke was dreading walking up the stairs to the sixth floor to where her husband would be. She didn't want to see him. But, he called her and said that she needed to drop Sam off for the weekend. She didn't want to argue with him. Clarke held onto her daughter's hand as they walked up the stairs. Sam already knew where she was going and was happy that she was going to see her dad, she missed him.

Clarke knocked on the door and Finn opened it, in the matter of seconds. He looked way better than he did two weeks ago. His eye was almost healed and all the other bruises were fading away. Sam hugged her dad happily and walked into the hotel room. Clarke was getting ready to leave, but she didn't. She looked at the man in front of her long and hard.

"You're not getting her." Clarke said lowly.

"That's funny, because she's here now." Finn said back and Clarke rolled her eyes.

"You know what I mean, you really think a judge is going to rule in your favor? You can file for divorce and you can file for full-custody, but you are not getting her. You don't know how bad this can get and I'm telling you now, I will stop at absolutely nothing to have custody over my daughter. My daughter, who I've taken care of since she was born. My daughter, who I've cared for day and night while you were away. My daughter, Finn. She's my daughter and you will never take her away from me. So, you can bring whatever you have. I'll fight it ten times harder." Clarke ranted as she glared at the man. Finn didn't say anything, he stared at her with sad eyes, but she wasn't going to fall for that trap. She knew that look and it wasn't going to happen.

"Why did you do it?"

See.

She's not going to stand here and explain it to her husband, because she doesn't want too.

"I'm not talking about this with you." Clarke spat.

"But, you'll talk about custody when your daughter is so close." Finn argued.

"Why did you cheat?" Finn asked quietly and Clarke looked at him again. There could be a whole bunch of reasons why Clarke cheated. She could stand here and list them off one by one, but she would be lying. She doesn't know why she cheated. She knew she wasn't the good guy.

She was fully aware of the monster she had become. She just threatened her husband, for when they will eventually go to court with each other. She was turning dark and could see it. She'd been in the dark for years, messing around with her best friend behind her husband's back. Clarke panicked inside because she didn't have an answer for Finn.

She cheated because she wanted to. She cheated, even though she would come home to him at night. She ripped the rug right from under Finn's feet, but she knew what she was doing. She didn't have an answer for Finn because she didn't know why she did it, she just did.

"This was never a happy marriage." Clarke stated.

"So, you go out and cheat instead?" Finn asked and Clarke didn't want to have this conversation in Finn's doorway of his hotel. She still didn't have an answer for him.

She was a monster.

"Yes. I cheated. Call me whatever you want Finn, but you act like we were doing good. We weren't." Clarke said.

"And that gives you the right to cheat?" Finn spat quietly. "I never once cheated on you and I feel like a complete fool because now everyone knows my wife cheated on me."

"I'm not talking about this anymore."

"Oh, yes. Of course. Clarke says it's time to go, so it's time to go. God forbid I don't listen to her." Finn rolled his eyes.

"I'm not going to talk to someone who is trying to take my daughter away from me." Clarke said stubbornly.

"And I'm not going to have sympathy for a woman who cheated on me for so many years." Finn said back and Clarke decided that it was time to go. She didn't say goodbye to her daughter. She felt the rage coming and she needed to leave before she really says something that she doesn't mean. Clarke walked down the stairs to her car and there was only one person she wanted to see right now.

Lexa.

Clarke felt a chill run down her spine at the thought of seeing the girl. She felt her stomach rolling like waves when she parked her car in the hospital parking lot. She was walking on water up to Lexa's room, until she was met with the scowl on Indra's face.

Clarke had been in contact more times than she could count with Indra because Lexa never wanted to talk to her. Indra was very aware of how close the two girls were, but didn't know they were sleeping together. Clarke's high stopped, she wasn't walking on water anymore. Instead, she felt like she was walking on pins and needles. She slowed her happy walk down, until she was face to face with Indra, right outside Lexa's room.

"I could break you in half with one hit." Indra said nonchalantly as Clarke approached and Clarke wanted to laugh. She had gotten to know Indra very well and she was an amazing women. She also knew how to fight and there was no doubt in Clarke's mind, that Indra taught Lexa how to fight.

"I'm sorry?" Clarke asked confusedly as she stopped in front of Indra.

"The way you walked out on my daughter." Indra said obviously and Clarke's face got serious. She was getting ready to speak when Indra held her hand up.

"I don't think I've ever heard my daughter talk about someone so much. I visit her everyday for hours on end until she has to do her physical therapy and all she talks about is you, now that I know. I thought my daughter lost that twinkle in her eye and I know we haven't been very close over the last few years, but I thought I'd never see my daughter happy again and then you come along. I love Lexa, but god damn, she doesn't shut up about you and how you walked out on her." Indra ranted and Clarke listened to her. She wouldn't dare interrupt Indra for a fear of actually dying. When Indra gave her the cue to speak, she did so, cautiously.

"I understand. I panicked and Lexa walked out on me and that's because she panicked too. We were both forced to deal with so many feelings without anyone knowing and it was hard. It was absolutely childish of me to do that, especially in front of everyone again and I'm just sorry in general for how I acted," Clarke glanced towards Lexa's door and back to Indra. "But, I love your daughter and I will always love her and you might not believe me because I'm still married. But, I love her. There's no doubt about it." Clarke confessed and Indra watched her with questioning eyes, but Clarke held her ground.

She saw Indra smirk. "Well, I'm glad we have an understanding. I'll break Lexa if she hurts you again, but I'll break you even harder if you hurt my daughter." Indra glared at her. Clarke was nodding before Indra was even finished talking. Clarke wasn't going to admit she was scared.

"I understand, ma'am."

"Wow, you really are scared of me." Indra smirked and Clarke gapped at her.

"You don't ever call me ma'am. Not since we first met." Indra pointed out and there was no point in hiding it.

"I'm scared." Clarke admitted and Indra smiled.

"Don't be." Clarke knew she was referring to her earlier threats, but that's not what Clarke was talking about.

"No, for finally doing this with Lexa. With loving her fully. Once I get a divorce, there will be nothing in our way and that scares me." Clarke started rubbing her hands together and Indra got serious.

"Love is a very powerful thing and it makes us do stupid things. I have faith you and Lexa will make it through this and I'm an idiot for not realizing it sooner." Indra said and Clarke nodded.

"I won't keep you any longer." Indra said, upon noticing Clarke glance at her daughter's door again.

"Thank you for talking some sense in me."

"Anytime." Indra smirked again.

* * *

 

"Ugh, she told you that?" Lexa groaned as she hid her face in embarrassment.

"Yeah, something about how you don't shut up about me and how beautiful and funny and smart I am." Clarke teased and Lexa removed her hands from her face.

"She did not say that." Lexa deadpanned.

"Oh, so you don't think those things?" Clarke feigned being hurt.

"No!" Lexa said quickly. "I do."

"I'm just messing with you. She didn't tell me what you guys talked about, but she really did say that you don't shut up about me." Clarke told the truth.

"Great, she makes me sound like some school-age girl with a crush." Lexa grumbled and Clarke thought it was cute.

"Anyways, one more week and you can go home. Your walking is so much better." Clarke gushed and Lexa smiled.

"I can't wait."

"Me neither."

"I'm going to give Charlie so many kisses." Lexa said.

"What about me? Do I get a kiss?" Clarke asked as she puckered her lips up. Lexa rolled her eyes, but she smirked.

"Yeah, come here." Lexa said lowly. Clarke felt her stomach drop at how low Lexa's voice was. Clarke immediately scooted over to Lexa and Lexa didn't waste any time as she connected her lips with Clarke. Clarke let out a deep moan at finally being able to kiss Lexa. They've been walking around each other all week. Clarke was glad that she got to kiss the girl, she missed it. Lexa sucked on her bottom lip softly and Clarke held her close. She was getting ready to get a taste of Lexa's tongue when the door slammed open.

"You cannot do this!" She heard her mother yell and Clarke looked over in confusion. She looked at the tall man, with a bald head as he took mean strides over to her.

"Clarke Griffin-Collins, you've been served." Clarke didn't recognize the man that was serving her and figured that Finn hired him. Clarke couldn't quite believe her ears. She knew this was going to happen and knew that Finn must've known she was going to come down here and see Lexa. He did this on purpose.

Clarke had no other choice, but to take the papers and Clarke looked the man in his emotionless eyes. The man didn't say anything and once Clarke took the papers, he turned swiftly on his heals and he left. Abby looked near tears and Clarke was near them too. She couldn't believe that this was happening. Her husband didn't even serve her divorce papers, but fucking custody papers. She knew she needed to read this over carefully and file her claim before her deadline.

Clarke looked back at Lexa and Lexa was looking at her with sad eyes. So many things could go wrong with this. What if they do rule in Finn's favor? Clarke knew that there was a very high chance they wouldn't, but she would still be going to court over custody of her daughter. Clarke clenched her jaw before looking at those soft green eyes. She knew everything that Lexa was saying even though she wasn't talking. Clarke nodded at her.

If this was how Finn wanted to play, game on.


	18. Chapter 18

Lexa knew she probably shouldn't be here. She didn't even know what she was going to say, but she was here. She thought about the heartbroken look on Clarke's face and balled up her fists and made her way inside. She'd only been here once, she knew Finn gets a lot of respect around here and thought it will be a mission complete if she could at least make him cry.

Who was he? But, then again, who was she? Clarke had no idea that she was here and planned on keeping it that way. Clarke responded to the papers right away. He made a claim and she made a claim right back. Clarke was doing this. Clarke and Finn were going to fight for custody over their daughter.

Lexa made her way inside and asked where she could find Finn Collins. She should've brought her cane, she didn't use it out in public that often, but definitely used it around her loft. The receptionist told her where she could find Finn and she made her way up to him. She took the elevator, there was no way she was going to take the stairs and didn't hesitate to knock on his office door. It was all official with his name carved into the door. Finn yelled for her to come in and she did. She also locked the door when she got in. Finn was filling out some paperwork and he had no idea who walked into his office. Lexa stood with her hands crossed over her chest and Finn looked up. His face paled when he saw who was standing before him.

"Hello, Finn." Lexa said darkly and Finn immediately got up from his chair.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were in the hospital?" Finn asked in a rush.

"I got discharged two days ago. I came here to speak with you about what happened at the hospital. Are you out of your mind?" Lexa kept the darkness to her voice and she watched as Finn looked at her.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Finn said.

"You served your wife while you knew she would be in my company. Now, that," Lexa took a step closer to him. "Was a coward move."

"Do you want to fight again? Because, I'm not doing it here." Finn asked warily and Lexa chuckled at him.

"I'm not going to fight you, Finn. But, Clarke will and you aren't going to win this." Lexa took another step closer to Finn.

"Lexa, get out." Finn would never admit it, but it made him sad that this was where they were. Threatening each other. Finn looked to Lexa with such respect and it completely disappeared when he knew what his wife and her were up to.

"You aren't going to win. Do you really think that a judge is going to rule in your favor because of infidelity? Also, the fact that you physically assaulted a girl. I don't take offense to it, but what if you do something like that again? What if you lose your temper? And, what if Clarke is around when you do? You touch her. You die. Do you really think a judge is going to give you sole-custody of Sam? Are you really going to put Sam through that? This is so unnecessary and I'm not going to leave, because you are making a mistake." Lexa said loudly.

"The only mistake I made was trusting you," Finn spat as he took a step closer to her. "You have a lot of nerve coming into my work and trying to threaten me over my daughter. She's my daughter and I'm taking her."

"Why?" Lexa asked rhetorically. "Because Finny boy is so hurt."

"Get out!" Finn shouted and Lexa knows she's getting to him.

"You're messing with the wrong girls," Lexa warned. "You have no idea how much hell me and Clarke are going to raise over this. I hope you have a good lawyer, Finny boy because you are going to need it. Oh, and by the way, because I'm sure Clarke isn't going to tell you. She got the art gallery and she's doing this and if you try to sabotage that in any way. I will kill you." Lexa took a step back and smiled.

"Have a nice day, Finny boy." Lexa left with a smile on her face and with the shocked expression Finn wore in her mind.

* * *

 

"I mean, I would understand if he wanted fifty-fifty, but full-custody? There's no way in hell." Abby said as she preheated the oven and walked back over to her daughter. They were at Clarke's house and Sam was upstairs with Lexa.

"I disagreed with everything he wanted. He wants full custody and he only wants supervised visits from me. Mom, I know I have the upper hand on this, but all the emotions I'm feeling right no,  can't be good." Clarke said sadly.

"I'm just glad you and Lexa are trying to be on the same page. I think you really need her through this. So, when's the preliminary hearing?" Abby asked.

“Second week of November. I was trying not to do this, mom. I didn't want Sam to go through this during the holidays. She's going to have to separate holidays, Finn's already asking if he can take her up to see his parents and I guess, I have to be civil about it because if I don't, he could use that against me." Clarke reasoned.

"It'll be okay, Clarke. You do have the upper hand. Go in there and be honest about everything, I know nothing will really happen at the preliminary hearing, they just want to hear your statements and get more familiar with the case, but I believe you will win this and sometimes, they make the decision at the first hearing if they have enough information." Abby said as she looked over at her daughter. Her heart felt heavy that her only daughter was having to go through this.

"We can come with you." Jake offered from his spot, but Clarke shook her head.

"It's okay. Lexa is actually going to wait outside for me. It shouldn't take too long and I'm just nervous for the actual court date." Clarke explained and Jake nodded.

"You'll get sole-custody over her, sweetie. I know it, have you talked to Finn?" Jake asked.

"No, we just drop Sam off and go." Clarke answered as Abby put the rolls in the oven.

"It's a hearing right, not a trail?" Abby asked and Clarke nodded.

"Yes, which means I'm going to be in and out of that court house like eight times. I just hope they see that Finn doesn't really want this. I know he doesn't, mom." Clarke said with determination at the same time Lexa walked into the kitchen. Lexa walked over to the counter where some mashed potatoes were and stuck her finger in it. Clarke lightly smacked her hand away.

"That's for dinner!" Clarke scolded. Lexa finished sucking the mashed potatoes off of her finger and pointed it towards Clarke.

"You can have some." Lexa joked and Clarke smiled at her.

"Alright, you two lovebirds." Jake teased and they both blushed. Things have gotten so much better between them. They always had that type of relationship. Clarke knew a lot of big things happened in their relationship, but she was happy with the road they were heading on. A lot of things still needed to be sorted out, but was happy that Lexa was here for her.

"What were you guys talking about?" Lexa asked.

"The hearing." Clarke answered. Lexa sucked her lips into her mouth and nodded.

"Right." Lexa hummed. Clarke didn't know that Lexa went to go see Finn. Even if Finn was still going to proceed with the complaint, Lexa was glad that she talked to him and said what she said. He was coming after her girls and she would fight alongside Clarke to make sure things stay the way they are.

"I may be a bit bias, but the fact that he wants to strip Sam from the only home she's ever known, speaks volumes. He's not doing this for her and I think we all know that." Lexa said as a matter-of-fact and they all nodded.

"Let's just hope they don't actually have to go to court. That the court can see how this is a lost cause and how Clarke has always been the primary care taker." Jake said. He was coming around with the whole Lexa thing. Clarke was glad for it. Jake had such a good relationship with Lexa. Clarke didn't want that to go to ruins.

It almost did, she could see how her dad was retreating, but was glad that he was here with them. Clarke stood close to Lexa, but she was careful with the physical contact. She knew this was new to her parents and it was weird that their daughter was overly affectionate with someone who wasn't Finn.

Standing next to Lexa was doing more than enough for Clarke. She enjoyed her evening with her family because she knew the next weeks to come are going to be hell. 

* * *

 

"Roan just had court a few hours ago." Anya said into the phone and Lexa wasn't expecting that. She didn't care to ask for the court date because she knew she wasn't going to go. She knows eventually she will have to face Roan, but it wasn't going to be today. She was focusing on when Clarke had to go to court, which was next week. Clarke was stressing herself out over it and Lexa wanted to be there for her.

Of course, they didn't tell Sam what was going on and she was going to go with her grandparents for a few hours so Clarke could have enough time to get ready for the trail. Lexa wasn't thinking about Roan or her past, she was trying to move past it.

"What was the ruling?" Lexa asked, despite herself and sat down, partly because her leg was hurting and because she wanted to sit for this. Charlie immediately scratched at her legs to pick him up and picked him up with ease. He weighed like a feather to Lexa and she was glad because her ribs were just now healing, but she knew she still had a long process to get fully healed.

"He's staying in jail." Anya sighed. Lexa couldn't help but feel a little dread in her heart. She knew that Roan staying in jail wasn't a good thing, but why did Anya sound like that? Like, she was getting ready to say something she wasn't going to want to hear?

"Nia is pissed. Like super pissed. She's madder than the first trail and I don't know Lexa, she had that look in her eye." Lexa felt the dread increase in her heart. What was Nia planning on doing? She knew Nia liked to sit back and scheme. She had no doubt that Nia was up to something, and Lexa's heart dropped.

_No._

She couldn't.

She swore on everything, that if Nia even thought about coming after Clarke or Sam, she would hurt her. Really hurt her, maybe even kill her. And Lexa knew she'd been threatening to kill a lot of people these days, but she would do anything to protect her girls. She wouldn't put it passed Nia that she would do something to target her, she already had. Lexa was the main reason why Road was rotting behind bars. She could've easily taken the fall for it, but Roan did. She knew she should be thanking him, but she didn't have it in her heart too. She remembered being happy and in love. She remembered not having a care in the world.

She remembered being young and looking over into those big brown eyes. She remembered Costia and wished she didn't. She wondered where she was right now. What she was doing and who she was with. She couldn't help herself. It wasn't because she was still in love with her, but a part of her always had that what-if, if Nia hadn't interfered, but then she thought about Clarke.

She thought about how free she was and thought about those ocean blue eyes. She thought that it couldn't get any better than this and they aren't even an item yet. She thought about how in love she was with Clarke and maybe, all of this needed to happen in order for her to meet Clarke. She thought about how love wasn't a weakness for her, Clarke gave her so much strength. She knew that in another life her and Clarke would be together and the next one as well.

She remembered Costia and how much of her heart she had. She believed that Costia may have loved her at one point, but didn't allow herself to think about it. Instead, she thought of Clarke and Sam. She thought of her girls.

"She wouldn't try to come after me again, do you think?" Lexa asked quietly.

"I don't know, Lexa and I don't mean to freak you out. I'm just saying, she didn't look happy at all. Roan isn't getting out any time soon." Anya informed her and Lexa nodded.

"Well, thank you for telling me and thank you for warning me."

"I know you have Clarke and Sam to look over now. I never thought it was going to be you," Anya teased and Lexa rolled her eyes. "I didn't know you loved kids so much. I swear, I remember you telling me you didn't want any." Lexa remembers that clearly.

Her and Anya were laying around one night and she told her how she didn't want any kids and how she didn't peg herself as a kid person. Not to mention, she would get high all the time. Lexa would've laughed in your face if you told her that she would love and care for a kid so much as she loved and cared for Sam. Lexa couldn't quite believe it either. But, Sam made it so easy. She loved being around the little girl, she reminded her so much of Clarke and she was just a sweet girl all around.

"I love them." Lexa said softly and Anya hummed.

"I'm starting to see that."

* * *

 

"Alright, slit all of their throats." Lexa said seriously to Clarke as Clarke gathered her stuff.

"Oh my god, Lexa. You've clearly been watching to many shows on Netflix." Clarke said as she giggled.

"Well, I mean, just go in and do your best. I'm sure you are going to blow them away. This won't last long Clarke, I have a feeling." Lexa said as she leaned over and gave Clarke a soft kiss on the cheek. She felt Clarke melt against her and she smiled.

"I'm scared." Clarke whispered.

"Don't be, you really are going to kill them all." Lexa murmured.

"Lexa!" Clarke chided.

"Okay, okay. By kill them all, I mean Finn and his ego. Go. You're going to be late." Lexa looked at Clarke with what she hoped was love and admiration. She knew if she had to go through this, she would be in absolute ruins and maybe Clarke was, but was holding her own. Lexa couldn't be more proud. She knew she was going to take their breaths away and she was going to win this.

Clarke looked back at her with wide eyes and Lexa gave her a nod, _you got this._

Clarke looked at her with doubtful eyes, _I hope so._

Lexa looked at her with hopeful eyes, _I love you._

Clarke smiled showing all her pearly whites, she knew exactly what Lexa was telling her and smiled despite the emotional roller coaster she was about to step on. Clarke gathered herself and opened the door to her car. Lexa stepped out with her. Clarke rounded the car and zero words were exchanged between them as Clarke was getting ready to cross the street to head inside the courthouse.

Lexa was watching her leave with a heavy heart. She hoped to god that Clarke didn't have to actually go to court for this. It was a stupid claim, really, and she hopes Clarke and Finn's attorneys see that. Lexa watched Clarke look back at her. She tried to hide the smile on her face, but she couldn't. Clarke didn't hide her smile either. Clarke looked straight at her before she turned around and walked into the courthouse.

_I love you too._

* * *

 

Lexa decided to walk a few laps around the block. She knew it would be good for her leg. Lexa swore she couldn't have gone around the block more than five times before she caught sight of her beautiful girl. She was walking down the stairs and Lexa was having the hardest time trying to make out her expression. Mostly, because Lexa was so far away.

Lexa was trying with all her might to walk as fast as she can to get to Clarke, but couldn't. She walked at a snail pace around the block. She knew Clarke had to be in there for almost two hours because it was taking Lexa entirely too long to complete her laps. Once Lexa finally neared Clarke, she noticed a smile coating her face and knew that look. Clarke was absolutely _reveling._ Lexa would've skipped towards her, if she could.

"I won! I have full-custody!" Clarke yelled when she noticed Lexa. Lexa smiled brightly at her. 

"They didn't even have to take us to court," Clarke said as she unlocked the door when Lexa handed over the keys. They both got in the car. "They had us wait, that's why it took so long. They were going to have us come back, but my attorney was seeing how this was going nowhere. Finn even admitted that I take care of her more and have a more of a flexible schedule. It's going to stay how it is, but Sam is fully mine. I get to decided when Finn can see her or not and I was actually thinking.." Clarke trailed off as she started her car.

"What?" Lexa asked curiously. She was breathing a little hard because of the laps she just did.

"I think I need to talk to Finn. Now, that Finn can see that me cheating doesn't make me an unfit mother, we have a lot of things to talk about. We still need to get a divorce and I think Finn saw that he wasn't going to win this. He looked so hurt, but I didn't know what he was expecting. He doesn't spend any time with her and when he does, it's because he's trying to get to me." Clarke explained.

"Do you think that he would even want that?" Lexa asked as Clarke drove off.

"I don't know, but I have to at least try. Now, that this custody thing is behind us. We need to focus on the divorce, which sucks because thanksgiving is so close." Clarke said and Lexa nodded.

"Well, I hope he can be civil." Lexa commented and Clarke hummed.

"I hope so."

* * *

 

Clarke was watching Sam play with her dolls when she decided she was going to do it. She watched as Sam then wanted to color for a bit and she decided this would be the perfect time. She didn't know why, but she wanted to do this. When her attorney told her that she would remain the sole parent who took care of Sam, she was more than ecstatic. Her attorney told her how judges tend to lean more towards the mothers and they didn't find any evidence on her, not even a DUI. Clarke had a clean record. Finn trying to take her to court was stupid. He didn't win and now, if Finn wanted to see Sam, she had every right to say no. But, she knew she needed to sit down and talk to Finn about a lot of things. She had no doubt that he probably wouldn't even want to, but she thought: maybe she owed this to him.

So, she called him while Sam was coloring a very detailed picture of Lexa and Charlie. She called her husband into the late night and told him how she wanted to meet with him so they could talk. Really talk. There were so many things that they needed to talk about. She didn't necessarily want to talk about her infidelity or Lexa, she wanted to talk about visitation and the divorce. She knew that they didn't need a lawyer present for this. They could do this on their own, and was surprise when Finn agreed with her.

He agreed to meet her, a couple of days before thanksgiving. It was important, so they could talk about what would happen over the holidays. Clarke asked her husband if they could meet up and really talk to each other for what she felt like was ages.

Clarke had no idea what she was getting herself into.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am putting a TRIGGER WARNING on this chapter. Please, read with caution.  
> After this chapter, Finn won't be around as much.  
> I UPDATED THIS CHAPTER WITH THE CORRECT INFORMATION.

With every step Clarke took, she could hear the leaves crunching under her boots. She was walking up the path to Finn's hotel with heavy steps. A part of her was dreading this whole thing, but it needed to happen. Maybe, once she finally talks to Finn, she can move on in a sense. She knows that she doesn't want to jump into a relationship with Lexa, but she loves being around the girl and she wants to focus on her daughter and on Lexa. She doesn't want to worry about Finn or what he's up too. Now that she has full-custody, she gets to call the shots and she plans too.

  
She knows she's the one that cheated, but the way he's been acting is completely immature. Clarke knows she has a daughter to think about and that is what she is doing. She's trying to do what's best for her daughter and Finn was just doing things in spite of her. Clarke was still surprise that Finn so readily agreed to meet with her and they figured that Clarke would just go to his hotel room. She dropped Sam off with Lexa and told her she shouldn't be gone for too long.

  
Clarke enjoyed the nice breeze as she made her way up to Finn's room. Autumn was completely upon them and Clarke was loving it. This was her favorite time of the year, even if it is being tainted with the divorce she is getting ready to have. She feels foolish for even being here, if it was up to her, she wouldn't do this, but she needs to be the bigger person and she needs to talk to her husband.

  
Clarke found herself nervous and she had no idea why. She doesn't know what she is going to get out of this talk. She hopes they can agree on something. She doesn't want to change the visitation as much, but she wanted to figure out what the holidays would look like for Sam.

  
Clarke felt odd going to meet up with her husband and when she knocked on the door to Finn's hotel room, she didn't feel right, but she pushed through it.

  
Finn answered, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and Clarke can't remember a time where he looked so dressed-down. He was definitely a suit-man, he was always wearing one. He looked like he had recently shaved and Clarke was glad because he was starting to look like a wild cave man.

  
Clarke didn't greet him, she had that feeling in her stomach. She pushed passed it and Finn stepped aside to let her in. His hotel room was small, it was built for only one person and the TV was on in the background. The hotel room was dimmed overall, there was barely any light in here and Clarke turned on him.

  
"Are you going to turn some lights on?" Clarke asked annoyed. Finn looked at her, but he didn't say anything. He wordlessly flicked on the lights and Clarke thought his behavior was odd. Clarke looked around and noticed his clothes thrown everywhere and pizza boxes all over the bed.

  
"Are you going to clean up in here?" Clarke scolded and Finn shrugged.

  
"I don't have a wife anymore to do that. Hell, I don't even have a daughter anymore." Finn snarled.

  
"She's still your daughter, Finn. I think we all knew that you weren't going to win this."

  
"You must be gloating right now. Not only did you get away with cheating, but you got full-custody too." Finn spat.

  
"Finn-"

  
"I just don't understand. Why her?" Finn asked desperately and Clarke rolled her eyes.

  
"Do you really want me to sit here and talk about this? Finn, I didn't come here to talk about Lexa."

  
"I just don't get how you can love someone so much when you were supposed to be in a loving marriage." Finn reasoned.

  
"We were never in a loving marriage, Finn." Clarke said immediately and Clarke saw his expression turn dark and Clarke didn't like the look in his eyes. She was starting to see how this wasn't a good idea. Why did she think she could meet with Finn and have him be civil? They weren't even talking about what Clarke wanted too.

  
"Look, I came here-"

  
"I still love you." Finn breathed and Clarke still didn't like the look in his eyes.

  
"Finn-"

  
"I'm hurt that you cheated, but I still love you, Clarke. God, you are so beautiful." Finn sighed and he tried to take a step closer to Clarke and Clarke backed away.

  
"Finn-"

  
"I still want to be with you, Clarke." Clarke's eyes went wide and she stared at Finn's dark eyes and realized that he wasn't trying to corner her, but instead, trying to come on to her and Clarke would have laughed if she didn't realize that she had nowhere to go in this small room.

  
"Even after I cheated?" Clarke asked to buy some time.

  
"I was mad about it, I still am. But, I still love you, Clarke and we can get past this and we can be a happy family. I just want my family." Finn confessed and Clarke gaped at him. He took a slow step towards her and she immediately backed up. She reached for her cell-phone, ready to call her safe haven, but Finn let out a roar.

  
"I'm just trying to talk to you!" Finn yelled and it made Clarke jumped. And, Clarke was woman enough to admit that she didn't like where this was going. Why was she so stupid? She closes her eyes and thinks about those bright green ones, that beautiful smile, she thinks about Lexa and for a second, she thinks she might be with her, but she opens her eyes and she's met with scary, brown ones and she can feel the bile rise in her throat.

  
"Finn, back off." Clarke warned.

  
"There's no one here to stop me." Clarke knew that he was talking about Lexa and Clarke immediately started panicking. She saw Finn reach for his belt buckle and she pushed him.

  
"Finn, what the hell is wrong with you?" Clarke shouted and Finn was back in her space in an instance.

  
"Well, you cheated on me with another woman. I'm going to show you that you don't need to do that. I can make you feel good." Clarke remembers those lines from all those years ago and she knows what's about to happen. She wasn't sure who moved first, but it had to be her because she kicked Finn in his private regions and she went to grab her purse. She was also fumbling around with her phone before she felt a solid body press up against her.

  
"Finn, don't do this," Clarke whined out. She didn't care how desperate she sounded. She wasn't going to let this happen. "Is this what you do? Try to force me to have sex with you? You did it before and now you are going to do it again? We never talked about that night, but it scared the hell out of me and I refuse to let it happen again." Clarke gritted, but Finn wasn't listening to her. He completely removed his belt and Clarke felt tears welling up in her eyes. This wasn't happening.

  
"I just want to show you that I can still perform. That's why you cheated on me. Because we don't have sex enough. Well, let's have sex, Clarke." Finn let out a dark chuckle and Clarke tried to turn around and run, but Finn grabbed a hold of her. While she was talking- she didn't know how Finn didn't notice- she sent a text to Lexa and it was a blank one and she just hoped Lexa knew. She prayed that she did because she didn't have enough time to do anything else before Finn threw her on the bed. Clarke remembers how she struggled years ago and she was struggling now with his body weight on top of her and she hopes Lexa will get here soon.

  
"Finn, get off!" She knows her yells won't do anything. She's sure no one can hear her and Clarke was in full-on panic mode. Finn took his shirt off and Clarke almost threw up in her mouth. She wanted to talk about the hearing and about visitation, but Finn was never stepping foot near Sam again.

  
Finn leaned down and tried to kiss her, but Clarke turned her head and Finn kissed the side of her head and she felt his stumble scratch against the side of her face. Clarke pushed his jaw away from her and she wonders how she ended up in this position and she thinks that she has every right to physically harm Finn. She slapped him and he jerked back, but that didn't stop him and she felt him unbutton her pants and she tried to grab a hold of his hands, but he was a lot stronger than her. Way stronger and he pinned her hands up with one arm and used the other to reach into her panties. He was met with dryness, she was completely dry and Clarke was trying to fight him from underneath.

  
She couldn't believe this was happening and her body was on full-alert. It was screaming at her to get out and she was trying. She hoped Lexa would come running for the hills when she texted her, even though it was blank. Finn pulled his pants down and Clarke knew what was going to happen and she knows she losing a raging battle. But, she still tried to get him off of her. She didn't say anything to him and the awkward silence that she was met with, made her skin crawl. She couldn't believe her husband was doing this to her.

  
Finn completely took his pants off and he took Clarke's pants off as well. Clarke was still thrashing below him and he forcibly grabbed her thigh and she knows that it will leave a bruise. Finn removed her underwear and Clarke was starting to give up on fighting him, when she heard it.

  
Finn was removing his boxers and Clarke saw his dick sprang out and Clarke could see that he was trying to line it up with her center and Clarke glared at the smile he wore. She felt it against her skin and she gasped, it wasn't out of pleasure, but pain, of the death grip he had on her and she heard it. She heard the sirens and she swears, she heard Lexa's voice, _I understand_.

  
Clarke looked up at the ceiling of this shitty hotel, _thank god._

  
Finn wasn't paying attention to the sirens, but she was and Finn was getting ready to push into her when the door busted open. Clarke cried out in relief when she saw Lexa standing in the doorway, along with various police and swat members. Clarke would have laughed had it not been for the situation she was in. Finn was momentarily distracted and she took this as her cue. She hit him up side the head, even though it barely did anything and Clarke stood up. Not caring that she was flashing a whole bunch of police men.

  
"Get on the ground!" One of them yelled and she knew that they weren't talking to her.

  
Clarke quickly got dressed and Lexa rushed over to her. Clarke held onto her with a death grip. She never wanted to let go and she never wanted to see Finn again. Clarke wasn't aware that she was crying, but she was.

  
Lexa had explained to the police men what was happening. Lexa already had that feeling, when Clarke texted her a blank text, she knew it wasn't by accident and she immediately went into action. She dropped Sam off with Anya and Raven and she called all the police that could get down to Finn's hotel. Lexa saw what Finn was getting ready to do and she let go of Clarke and was getting ready to make a beeline for Finn. Clarke grabbed a fistful of her shirt, she was careful not to apply to much pressure to her ribs, but she still held on tight.

  
"He's not worth it." Clarke let out a broken whisper and she could see the rage in Lexa's eyes. Her nostrils were flaring, but Clarke held on to her. Finn was demanded to get dress and they wanted to know what was going on.

  
"I was just trying to have sex with my wife." Finn said as if it were obvious and Clarke let go of Lexa and rounded on him.

  
"You were trying to rape me, you sick son of a bitch," Clarke yelled and the police wrote that down. "I came here to talk about the custody hearing and he tried to have sex with me against my will." Clarke spat and one of the police men immediately grabbed a hold of Finn.

  
"I want a restraining order." Clarke said seriously to the police and they nodded. She didn't want to have sex with him and she cried for being so stupid. They arrested him and Clarke couldn't wait for the restraining order to be put into place, even though he was going to jail and Clarke just wanted to get out of here. She thanked the police to many times for her to count and she never once let go of Lexa is the process.

* * *

 

"You can't seriously arrest me. I paid you." Finn said through gritted teeth as he was walked through the prison.

  
"I can and I will. Your money won't buy you any freedom, not in this country. Your ass is going to jail." The guard smiled at him wickedly and Finn thought that maybe he could fight his way though this. 

  
He thought about his little girl and how he will probably never see her again. He knows Clarke would keep her from him, especially with the restraining order. 

  
"You can't seriously arrest me for this." Finn said.

  
"We saw what happened and your wife confirmed it. You are going to jail." 

  
"I'll pay twice as much as my fine, don't do this." Finn begged. 

  
"I have a daughter." Finn said as they came to a stop.

  
"Well, it's a good thing you are in here and not with her , isn't it?" The guard sneered as the gate to his cell opened and the guard pushed him in. 

  
"Good luck." The guard warned and Finn watched on with anger in his eyes.

* * *

 

  
Lexa was quick to get Clarke out of there. A few neighbors came out to see what all the ruckus was and Clarke hid her face in Lexa's neck. Lexa opened the door for Clarke and tried to get her to get in the car. Clarke wouldn't remove the death hold she had on Lexa.

  
"It's okay. I mean, it's not. But, I'm not going anywhere." Lexa said and Clarke finally nodded and let her go. Lexa quickly rounded the car and got inside. She called Anya real quick and asked if she could keep Sam for the night. The distant look on Clarke's face, wasn't good and she knows that Sam should stay with them tonight. Luckily for Lexa, she already packed an overnight bag and handed it off to Anya without Sam knowing, and Anya nodded. She didn't question it, Lexa had a very serious look in her eye and she wanted to help in anyway she could.

  
"Where do you want to go?" Lexa asked after she hung up with Anya. Clarke looked over at her slowly and Lexa's heart completely shattered at the look on Clarke's face. She looked so hurt and so small and Lexa wanted to kill Finn, but she knew the police were handling it.

  
"The bar." Clarke answered and Lexa didn't question it. In fact, she closed the bar early and it was just the two of them. Lincoln and Nyko looked at her curiously as to why she would close down her bar for a night, but she did and she would do anything that Clarke wanted right now and for some reason, Clarke wants to be at her bar. She dismissed her staff for the night and once they were alone, Lexa locked all the doors and they sat on the floor, in the middle of the bar. They sat side by side, leaning against one of the booths and Lexa held Clarke.

  
"I was so stupid to trust him with this," Clarke whispered and Lexa didn't say anything, she knew Clarke needed to get this out. "I didn't even get to talk about the custody, I knew something was off the minute I got there. He had that look in his eyes and I can't believe he tried to..." Clarke's voice cracked as she let out a long, broken sob and Lexa held her tighten. She wrapped her arms around her and she drew Clarke close to her.

  
"I'm right here, baby."

  
"He was going to rape me." Clarke cried out loudly.

  
"I know, but he didn't. We stopped it. The minute you sent that text, I called the police," Lexa explained and Clarke nodded. "You are safe now. He is not coming anywhere near you or Sam. He's in jail now." Lexa continued and Clarke nodded again. Her mind was all over the place. She didn't want to think about what just happened, but the events keep playing in her mind like a movie and she can't get them to stop. She closes her eyes and she still sees it and she opens them and she sees Finn right in front of her. She holds Lexa tighter.

  
"Please don't leave me." Clarke sobbed.

  
"I'm not going anywhere. I'll go into the bathroom with you, if that's what you want." Clarke knows Lexa isn't being funny, she could tell by the tone of her voice that she is being serious and Clarke held on tighter to her.

  
"I just want to sit." Clarke murmured and Lexa hummed.

  
"For as long as you want."

* * *

 

  
Clarke wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she lifted her head from Lexa's shoulder. Lexa looked down at that movement and Clarke was met with her forest green eyes.

  
"Did I fall asleep?" Clarke asked as she stretched.

  
"You did. You've only been sleep for about an hour. I didn't move, I didn't want to wake you." Lexa said softly, so she wouldn't disturb the peace.

  
"Can we go to your place?" Clarke asked and Lexa immediately nodded as she stood them up. She held onto Clarke's hand as they left and she locked the place down.

  
"I'm sorry." Lexa said into the dark alley.

  
"For what?" Clarke asked confused.

  
"I should've acted quicker." Lexa answered.

  
"There was nothing you could do. You immediately called the police." Clarke said back.

  
"But, I had to drop Sam off. I was trying so hard to get to you, Clarke." Lexa said as they got into the car.

  
"I'm fine, now." Clarke said without any conviction at all and Lexa nodded sadly.

  
She knew it wasn't true.

* * *

 

When Lexa got Clarke inside her loft, she closed her door and she locked it. She watched as Clarke wordlessly sat down and she took slow steps towards her.

  
"What do you want? Tell me and I'll do my best to get it for you." Lexa said softly as she sat down next to Clarke.

  
"You and Sam, but I know, I'm in no shape to see her." Clarke answered just as soft.

  
"Well, we can order some pizza and have a nice bath and-"

  
"I'm not hungry." Clarke said monotone.

  
"Clarke, you need to eat. It's past dinner-time."

  
"I'm not hungry." Clarke said with a little more force. Lexa didn't listen to her as she ordered some pizza and they sat in silence as they waited for it.

  
Lexa wasn't sure what to say to Clarke. What do you say? Lexa knows that Finn is technically still her husband, but they drew that line. Finn and Clarke weren't together anymore and Lexa clenched her jaw when she thought about what happened at the hotel. What if she hadn't gotten there in time? She saw what Finn was getting ready to do and if she had been a second late, she knows he would've done it and she clenched her jaw again. Finn was complete scum, kicked around and stepped on, scum. And, Lexa never wanted to see him again. As if Clarke could read Lexa's thoughts, she spoke quietly.

  
"I never want to see him again." Clarke whispered. She was staring at Lexa's wall and she had her knees drawn up to her chest.

  
"He touched me," Clarke said again and she gestured down south. "Down there and I felt-" Clarke choked off another sob and Lexa immediately went to hold her.

  
"Shhh," Lexa cooed. "My baby." Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa and Lexa scooped her up, much like she does with Sam, and she sat Clarke on her lap.

  
"I just feel dirty," Clarke whispered as she wiped some of her tears away. "I know he's my husband, but we are separated and he had no right." Clarke said, getting upset.

  
"I know, I know."

  
"I don't ever want him around Sam," Clarke demanded and Lexa nodded. "I don't trust him anymore. He wasn't even drunk, Lexa. Like he was years before. He tried to rape me sober." Clarke let out shakily, just as a knock on the door sounded through Lexa's loft.

  
Clarke held onto Lexa tighter, she had her arms wrapped around her neck and Lexa scooted to the edge of her couch and she stood up with Clarke in her arms.

  
"Clarke, you have to get down," Lexa whispered and Clarke shook her head. "Just real quick, while I get the food." Lexa said softly and Clarke reluctantly nodded and she slowly removed herself from Lexa.

  
Lexa opened the door and paid for the pizza as fast as she could. She shoved a wad of bills into the pizza man's face and she thanked him before she rushed to close the door and lock it. Lexa helped herself to many slices of pizza while she watched Clarke pick at hers. Lexa really didn't know what to do, should Clarke maybe talk to someone else? She knows Clarke won't because she's stubborn, but Lexa always knew what Clarke needed, and Lexa felt so helpless right now that she had no idea how to help Clarke. Lexa wasn't sure if she could even help Clarke. She was almost raped by her husband when she was trying to go over there and talk about their divorce. Lexa has so much rage in her heart, she knows it can't be healthy.

  
And, it clicked for Lexa.

  
She didn't know if it would work, but it was worth a shot. "I have a boxing session tomorrow morning, come with me." Lexa offered and that seemed to catch Clarke's attention, but still, she shook her head.

  
"No." Lexa visibly deflated in her seat. She doesn't know how to help Clarke. She was sure Clarke didn't even want help.

  
"It'll help let out all the aggression that I know you have." Lexa pressed.

  
"No." That was all Clarke said, but Lexa noticed how once Clarke started talking, she started eating as well. Lexa didn't say anything more, she watched as Clarke finished her slice of pizza and she got up.

  
"Can we take a bath?" Clarke asked quietly and Lexa hates that Finn did this. Clarke was never this quiet, but this whole evening she hasn't talked in her normal voice and Lexa hates it. She hates Finn.

  
"Sure." Lexa immediately agreed and she made sure Charlie went to the bathroom twice, before she went to go run a bath for them.

  
Lexa tried not to, but it was hard, when she saw the dark purple bruise coating Clarke's thighs and arms. Lexa clenched her jaw, but that didn't stop the gasp that escaped her mouth. Clarke looked up at Lexa and Lexa didn't look away from her thighs, how could she? And how dare Finn for hurting her.

  
"He did that?" Lexa asked and Clarke nodded sadly, she didn't say anything more and she got into the tub. Lexa gasped again when Clarke stepped foot into the tub because now, she saw just how much Finn had bruised her. Lexa wanted to cry, but she saw the almost-blissful look on Clarke's face when she sunk into the tub, that she didn't. She tried to hold herself together for Clarke and they spent almost an hour in the bath, just enjoying each other's company.

  
They were forced to get out when the water turned too cold for them to bare.

* * *

 

  
Lexa just got done finishing up sparing with one of the regulars she sees around the gym, when she saw her.

  
Lexa was completely losing faith in the fact that Clarke would show up, they still had a couple of hours until they would pick up Sam and after their bath, Clarke changed into some of Lexa's sweats and she fell asleep. She wouldn't let Lexa go for the whole night.

  
Lexa offered one more time before she left, if Clarke wanted to come with her, but Clarke replied in her same small voice with a no.

  
Lexa walked down here, it was getting cold down in Virginia, but the cold morning, woke her up. She so badly wished Clarke would come down to the boxing gym with her, but she refused.

  
Lexa was getting ready to turn around and lift some weights when she saw Clarke approaching her slowly. Lexa tried not to smile, they both knew why she was here and there was nothing funny about it. But, she gave Clarke a small smile and Lexa's heart ached in her chest when she saw Clarke gave her a tiny one back.

  
"Yes." Clarke said and Lexa knew what she was talking about. She had asked and offered all through the night, they barely slept. She kept saying no and now she was saying yes, because they both knew she needed this. She knows Clarke wants to curl up in a ball and block the rest of the world out, but she can't. She has a daughter to think about and that's what got Clarke up this morning. Lexa and Sam. She wasn't going to lay around and feel sorry for herself, even though she wanted too. She knows she is no where near over what just happened, but she had that rage and aggression in her heart and she needed to let it out. So, she gathered herself-she really didn't want to be in public- but she gathered herself and she came down here where she knew Lexa was.

  
Clarke saw as Lexa nodded to her and she handed her over some weights. Clarke put the water bottle she got out of Lexa's fridge down and she took them. They didn't have to speak to one another and Clarke was so glad, Lexa knows her so well. They worked out along side each other, Lexa knew Clarke would speak when she was ready. Clarke was more focused on the workout and Lexa wanted her to be. Lexa wanted her to block everything else out for just a little bit. Lexa knew this wouldn't heal Clarke and eventually, they would really have to sit down and talk about this and what they want to happen. But, for right now, Clarke copied Lexa's workout routine and Lexa watched with a proud smile.

  
Lexa watched Clarke fight.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated chapter 19 with the correct information, please re-read that one before you start this one. This chapter is short, but next one will be longer  
> I hope you guys enjoy.

 

* * *

 Clarke smiled wide when she saw her baby girl. She was curled up in a ball, sleeping on Anya's couch. Clarke went back to the house and she showered and so did Lexa. They showered together and they kept it innocent. Anya was looking at both of them with questioning eyes, and Clarke didn't know if she wanted to tell them.

She felt so much better after the intense workout that Lexa put her through and she had to give Lexa some credit, Lexa works hard and she was so glad that she was here with her right now, she doesn't know what she would do if she wasn't. Lexa scooped Sam up and accidentally ruined her afternoon nap, but she was excited when she realized who was holding her and she let out a huge smile when she saw her mom. She immediately reached for her and Clarke stroked some of Sam's hair back and she held her daughter close to her.

"Thank you." Lexa said to Raven and Anya and they nodded.

"What's going on?" Lexa is sure that they could feel the tension in the room and the tension rolling off of Clarke's shoulders. Lexa didn't say anything because this wasn't her place to tell and she saw how Clarke was internally panicking, Raven saw it too.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell us." Raven said softly and Clarke felt sad because she tells Raven everything.

"Later, I promise. Actually, come by the house tomorrow and we can talk about it. I'm inviting everyone over." Clarke told her and Raven gave her a nod. They said goodbye to them and they headed back to Lexa's loft, Clarke didn't really want to be at the house right now.

Sam settled into her room that she usually sleeps in when she stays over at Lexa's and she immediately went back to sleep. Clarke knows she must've been really tired because she always stays up late when she's with Anya and Raven, but she knows that her daughter had fun with them and that's all that matters.

"How are you feeling?" Lexa asked and Clarke shrugged.

"I'm just glad my daughter is here and Finn is in jail." Clarke answered.

"You really want to tell people?" Lexa asked.

"Maybe, it's going to come up eventually when they find out that there's a restraining order on Finn and he's in jail. I want to invite them over and tell them." Clarke said.

"Okay, well no matter what, I'll be here."

And, Lexa meant it. She would be here for Clarke and Sam through this. She didn't once ever think that things would get like this between them and she hopes they can move past it and she hopes that Finn pays for what he's done.

* * *

 

Clarke didn't like that she was carrying this secret around with her. She knows what it feels like because she carried the secret of her cheating for years. It's only been two days and Clarke feels like she should tell her friends and family what happened so she can try to forget about it, she knows she's not going to, but she thinks this would help.

She went down to the jail and saw for herself that he was behind bars and she didn't cry when she saw Finn, but she cried when she came out. Her daughter just got stripped away from her father, but she knew this is what needed to happen. She wanted Finn to pay for what he did and she knew this was the way how. He would be forced to leave his job and when he gets out, it would be hard for him to get the same job. She also filed for divorce after he was arrested and she was starting to feel lighter, even though her daughter's blue eyes were weighing her down. She wanted everyone to meet at her house and she wanted to tell them in one setting, so she didn't have to do it over and over again because she doesn't think that she could do that, she wouldn't emotionally be able too.

She was rubbing her hands together and Sam was upstairs playing in her room. Clarke had sent her up there and told her that she would call her down when she was ready. Lexa stood beside Clarke proudly, with her chest out. Clarke looked at all her friends and her parents sitting in the family room and she still remembers the events that happened the day of Sam's birthday.

"Clarke, what's going on?" Monty asked curiously. He noticed how nervous Clarke was and knew that whatever she was going to tell them wasn't going to be good. Clarke decided to just come out and say it.

"Finn's in jail." Clarke said and she heard many gasps sound throughout the room.

"Why?" Jasper asked confused. Clarke was wearing a hoodie, so she could hide the bruises that coated her wrists and she decided to just show them. Lexa was standing by her when she rolled her sleeves up and showed them the dark purple bruises that were still fresh. Her mother gasped when she saw them.

"Honey, what happened?" Abby gasped out as she rushed over to her daughter. Clarke took a deep breath, she didn't want to think about what happened a few days ago, but she wanted too, so she could get this over with.

"Finn, he tried to.." Clarke trailed off, she didn't want to say the words. "He tried to rape me." Clarke said quietly and she hated admitting that out loud and Jake gasped.

"He didn't." He said in disbelief and Clarke just nodded sadly.

"That motherfucker!" Raven yelled as she got up and went to go hug Clarke.

"I put a restraining order on him and they had him arrested." Clarke cried, she doesn't know why she feels so bad about this. She just feels bad for Sam, when she will eventually ask why her father isn't around.

"Clarke, honey, it's alright." Abby assured her.

"When did this happen?" Jake demanded.

"Two days ago, when I told you how I wanted to go talk to him about the custody and the divorce. He forced himself on me and I only had enough time to send Lexa a blank text before he tried too... Lexa got there in time and they took him to jail." Clarke explained to her friends and to her parents. Clarke cringed throughout the whole recall of events and Lexa grabbed a hold of her hand and she held onto her tight. Clarke was grateful and she noticed how they all looked at that action, but she wasn't going to let go of Lexa's hand. She made her feel grounded.

"I can't believe him." Jasper whispered out and Clarke didn't say anything, she watched as her friends watched them with sad eyes.

"I'm so sorry," Anya said. "I knew something happened, I didn't know it was this."

"It's okay, Anya. We are taking it day by day and it helps that Finn is nowhere in sight. Things have been tough, but I have faith we can get through this." Lexa spoke for the both of them and Clarke had a selfish moment and she pulled Lexa in for a hug. She held onto to Lexa in front of all her friends and family, but she wasn't going to pull away.

When she eventually did, she rolled her sleeves back down, she didn't want to look at her battle scars. She hung around her friends and family for the whole night and she tried to enjoy herself, but she was having a hard time trying too. She knew this is what she needed though, in the light of events, they tried to have fun and crack jokes like they normally did. She laughed along with them, but she felt a pang in her chest when she looked at her daughter.

She had no idea how she was going to explain this to her, she didn't want to tell her what happened, just that her dad won't be around anymore and Clarke felt terrible. She would never feel terrible for Finn going to jail, he deserved it. But, Clarke knows that Sam won't be seeing her dad for a long time. There's no way Clarke is taking Sam down there, she doesn't want her in that type of environment. She watched her daughter laugh and play with Jasper and Monty and she looked over and she caught Lexa's eyes.

She knew that look.

Lexa smirked at her and Clarke smirked right back.

_Hi_

_Hey_

_It's going to be okay_

Clarke looked around for a bit and she looked at all her friends and family and her daughter and she hoped it would be. She hoped she would stop feeling sorry for herself and she hoped that she would bounce back. She knows it's only been a day or two, but she really doesn't want to think about Finn anymore.

Clarke instead thought about how Thanksgiving was in a few days and she wanted to focus on that, she wanted to focus on being better. She knew in her heart she could get through this with the amazing support system that she had. She looked back at Lexa with a small hopeful smile.

_I know_


	21. Author's note

Alright, so I am beyond embarrassed about what happened in chapter 19. I'm so glad you guys called it out, feel free to do that in the future and I 100% own up to the fact that I messed up with so many people reading this story. With that being said, I changed chapter 19 and chapter 20, if you will, please re-read chapter 19 with the correct information. Again, I am truly sorry.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes I didn't catch while editing.   
> I hope you enjoy!

Clarke stared down at her wedding ring that she put back inside of her jewelry box, a part of her thought it would be a good idea to pawn it, she doesn't ever want to look or wear it again.

It was Thanksgiving today and she knows that she needs to get up and go get Sam up. She wasn't quite sure if she would be seeing Lexa today, they haven't really discussed whether or not Lexa would be joining them. Clarke knows Lexa will probably go see her parents today, but she hopes the brunette will make some time for her too.

Clarke spent the whole morning trying not to think about her hus- Clarke cut herself off because she was getting ready to referring to Finn as her husband again, he isn't. He never really was if Clarke really thought about it. She knows that she really needs to stop thinking about him in terms of being her husband, because he isn't. It was a habit of Clarke's, to refer to Finn as her husband. It was a natural reaction and she knows it has to stop. Finn wasn't here, Finn would never come back here. She would do everything in her power to make sure that doesn't happen. She still can't quite believe that Finn is in jail, but she doesn't feel bad, even though it's Thanksgiving. Clarke hopes he spends the rest of his days in there.

It wasn't that Clarke still thought she was married to him. In reality she is, but she likes to think she isn't and with the divorce that is happening, she won't be. She vowed to herself that she will no longer refer to Finn as her husband.

It saddened Clarke that this is how it was ending. She would've rather it ended before she went to Finn's hotel. She wished that she would've been able to talk to Finn and him not try to assault her, but he did and Clarke needed to realize that she had to stop with the mind games.

It wasn't that she wanted Finn to still be her husband because she doesn't. Finn had done so many things in this marriage, she never wanted to think about him again. She has every right to hold this against him for the rest of his life and she will. She cringed when she thought about the hotel and she cringed when she saw the look on her mother's face, they were both in the kitchen. Her mother had called her all throughout the day after she told them what happened.

Clarke is beyond happy that her relationship with her mother is getting so good these days. Her dad stuck by her too, they hovered over her for the morning when they came over. They just decided to have Thanksgiving at Clarke's house because it would be easier for Sam, she would have all her stuff to play with while Clarke and her mother cook away in the kitchen. Clarke was getting ready to pull the turkey out when her phone ringed. Her mother took over for her and Clarke answered her phone.

"Hello?" Clarke answered as she pulled a few stray hairs behind her ear.

"Oh, thank god. Clarke, we have a problem!" Lexa exclaimed into the phone and Clarke waited until Lexa elaborated.

"My mom burnt the turkey!" Lexa all but yelled. Clarke heard various amounts of noise in the background. She heard Anya yell out something to which her mother yelled back and she even heard Raven too.

"I um.. Do you think that we could maybe... like have dinner at your place?" Lexa asked awkwardly and Clarke smirked.

Lexa was going to have dinner with her parents, Anya and Raven. Raven usually had dinner with them, but since Lexa was finally talking to her mom again, they wanted to have a nice family dinner together and Clarke wouldn't argue with that. Clarke looked around her kitchen. It was only two in the afternoon and they had plenty more to cook, they made pizzas so Sam could have them for lunch. Clarke and Lexa usually spend Thanksgiving together, but Lexa would spend Christmas with Anya.

Lexa would always come over for the Thanksgiving dinner, but Clarke never got to be with her or do romantic things with her and if they did, it was in secret. Usually a quick hook-up before Clarke had to make an appearance again and Clarke's heart swelled in her chest. This would be the first year that she would actually be able to be with Lexa on Thanksgiving, one of her favorite holidays, and she smiled at the thought of Lexa eventually being here with her.

"Um.. Clarke? Please answer, it's absolute madness over here. No wonder I don't spend holidays with my family."

"Yes!" Clarke answered loudly and her dad jumped at the noise. "Come on over, we have plenty."

* * *

 

Octavia and Lincoln, Jasper and Monty somehow, someway made their way over too and Clarke wasn't opposed. She had a feeling she knew everyone wanted to be around for her and she was absolutely loving it. All her friends and family were here and she got to enjoy Lexa freely. She didn't kiss her like she normally would if they were in private, but she made a point to hold her hand and be more affectionate with her just because she could. She saw how her friends would watch what she was doing, but they didn't make any comments. Instead, she saw their happy smiles and for the first time in days, Clarke was happy.

Because, she looked over at Lexa, who happened to be standing by the same clock she was standing by during Sam's birthday party and she admired the girl before her. Her hair was up in a loose bun and she was wearing a black sweater and dark jeans. She wasn't wearing her leather jacket like she normally does, but she looked good. She always did. She wasn't even wearing that much make up, Clarke didn't think she ever had too. But, her eyeliner made her green eyes pop and she caught them more times than she could count.

"Clarke, the yams are done!" Her mother called, breaking her out of her trance and she turned around and got back to work. She knows that she hasn't been wearing her wedding ring for a while now, but she looked down to her left hand and it felt odd, but in a good way. She feels like she finally got rid of Finn and it wasn't like she did this on purpose, Finn brought this upon himself, but she just feels free like she doesn't have to deal with him anymore and she doesn't. She's not going to care for him ever again and she's never going to refer to him as her husband because he isn't. She couldn't wait for the divorce to actually happen.

Clarke thinks about what happened at the hotel, she couldn't stop herself. She thinks about it a lot and she thinks about how vulnerable she was in that situation and it rubs her completely the wrong way.

She remembers how he had pressed up against her and her mind stopped, because Clarke thought she was only remembering these things happening, but she felt someone press against her and she panicked.

_Finn._

"Back off!" She yelled as she closed her eyes and told herself this wasn't happening. She completely rounded on him and pushed him away, but when she opened her eyes, it wasn't Finn.

It was Anya.

Clarke had pushed her so hard, she fell back into the counter with a shocked look on her face. That seemed to catch everyone's attention and Clarke stared at Anya with wide eyes. She hated that Anya had that understanding look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry!" Clarke immediately rushed out. Lexa was watching with sad eyes.

"No, I'm sorry. I was just trying to get a cup and you wouldn't move, I was calling your name. So, I figured I would just get it myself." Anya explained slowly as she regained herself.

Did Clarke block out everything again? She remembers how she did that when Lexa got into the car accident. Clarke looked around with shy eyes and she saw how everyone was looking at her with pity, but she was glad that Jasper and Sam were in the other room.

Lexa cleared her throat, "Remind me to never sneak up on you." She said from where she was in the corner and Jake laughed.

"Agreed."

They didn't talk about why Clarke reacted the way she did and Lexa could understand why Clarke did that. Anya was telling her to move, but Clarke wasn't listening to her at all. Anya went to grab a cup from the cabinet, effectively pressing into her while she did and Clarke immediately pushed her off.

It made Lexa sad, she knows Clarke wouldn't have acted like that if Finn would've just kept his hands to himself. Lexa knows that Clarke is still trying to get over what happened and she would never in any way rush her, seeing how it only happened a few days ago. She knows Clarke isn't okay, but she was trying to be okay for her daughter and Clarke is, hands down, the strongest person Lexa knows.

Lexa saw Clarke crack a small smile and she took a chance on it. She walked up to Clarke and she wrapped an arm around her. Clarke had turned around again, but she knew who was behind her and she held onto Lexa's arm and even kissed it. Lexa felt Clarke melt into her and they stayed like that for a minute, until they heard Sam's little feet walking back towards the kitchen. Lexa immediately let go of Clarke and Clarke turned around to see what her daughter wanted.

"Can we take Charlie outside?" Sam asked her mom and Clarke was glad her daughter missed what just happened. Clarke looked to Lexa and she shrugged.

"I don't see why you can't. Just make sure you keep an eye on him, he's still small." Lexa said. She would come out with them, but she needed to sit down. She was trying not to let the pain show on her face because she wanted to make sure Clarke was okay, but she needed to sit.

"Okay, come on, Jasper." Jasper happily followed Sam outside with Charlie in his arms. Lexa kissed Charlie's forehead before they went outside with him and Lexa headed straight for the dinner table. She sat down slowly and let out a moan when she did.

"Your cane is in the living room," Her mom said softly as she sat down next to Lexa. "Also, sorry for burning the turkey. The first year you actually come around and my cooking sucks." Indra cracked a smile and so did Lexa.

"Well, I wonder where I get my horrible cooking skills from." Lexa teased and Indra let out a laugh.

"From your father." Indra pointed to Gustus, who was talking to Jake.

"It's a good thing you have Clarke, she'll cook all your meals for you." Indra said in a teasing tone, but Lexa knew she was being serious. She looked over at her mom.

"You two are something else." Indra hummed and Lexa nodded.

"Kind of glad you ruined it, because now I can be with her," Lexa said and then she realized what she said. "I mean, be here with her for Thanksgiving." Lexa said quickly, but Indra smirked.

"Yeah, sure." Her mom rolled her eyes.

Lexa smiled despite herself.

* * *

 

"Are you okay?" Lexa asked softly, they were standing outside in the garage because it was clear that Clarke needed a break. Lexa wasn't sure what exactly was wrong with Clarke though.

"I'm fine, I just needed a break." Clarke said softly and Lexa nodded. Abby smirked at them when they told her that they were going to go outside for a little bit, but Abby also nodded and told them that she had it under control.

"I just feel bad and _fuck_ -" Clarke kicked over a stack of boxes off to the side and her whole body shuddered when she saw what came out of one of them.

It was a memory box for Clarke and Finn. They thought it would be cute to make one when they first got married and they put things like love letters and pictures of them in it. Clarke threw the box out here when they separated.

Clarke looked at one picture in particular. It was all three of them: Clarke, Sam and Finn. Sam couldn't have been more than one in this picture and Clarke couldn't help but noticed Sam looked just like her when she was a baby. Sam was in the middle of them and they were holding her up with happy smiles on their faces. Clarke doesn't even recognize herself in this picture and Lexa wordlessly started to clean up the mess.

Clarke would've helped her, but she was stuck frozen in her spot and by time she was getting ready to help Lexa, she was already done.

"I'm sorry." Clarke said and Lexa shook her head.

"Don't be." Lexa rubbed the back of her neck and Clarke knows she feels awkward right now.

"I don't feel bad that Finn is in jail. But, I never wanted to strip Sam of her father and I know I don't want Sam going anywhere near him, but still. That's her father and I guess I was just so fixed on trying to force a relationship between the both of them. I know Sam loves her dad and she probably won't ever see him again." Clarke explained and Lexa stepped closer to her.

"You have to be selfish, Clarke. Don't you ever tell me you feel bad because Sam won't be around Finn. Don't feel sorry for him, he did this to himself." Lexa said seriously and Clarke nodded.

"You're right." Clarke murmured and she slowly wrapped her arms around Lexa.

"I just wanted to tell you in private how thankful I am of you," Clarke whispered. "You've been so patient with me and I'm so lucky to have you." Lexa smiled down at Clarke, she looked so beautiful in the low lighting. Her hair was pinned up so she wouldn't get it in any of the food she was making and she was wearing a simple blue top and dark jeans.

"You're so beautiful." Lexa whispered as she stared down at Clarke's lips. She wasn't going to lean in, she knows that Clarke has been having problems being close to people even though they were wrapped up in each other. Lexa wouldn't dare lean forward, only if Clarke asked her too. Clarke stared at her dark green eyes and her eyes flickered down to Lexa's lips.

"Kiss me." Clarke said barely above a whisper and Lexa looked at her to make sure she was okay with it.

Clarke smiled a soft smile at her, "Kiss me. Please, Lexa, just-" Clarke was cut off by insanely soft lips connecting with hers and Clarke immediately deepened the kiss. Lexa kissed her softly, she didn't want to go to fast, but she did fully wrap her arms around her waist. Clarke kissed Lexa's lips for a long time. She didn't want to pull away, but she felt weird. Her skin was itching and when Lexa ran her hands up her sides, she flinched away.

_Finn._

Lexa immediately pulled away from her, "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I wanted you to kiss me and I'm backing out." Clarke said annoyed at herself.

"You have every right too," Lexa said softly as she step back a few feet. "Don't push yourself if you are not ready."

"I want to be," Clarke said seriously. "I hate that he's the last person who touched me."

"Don't force yourself, Clarke. You already know that I am here and we can take this slow. We don't have to do anything right now." Lexa said honestly.

Clarke wanted to say it. She has said it before and said it again, though she didn't use words. Clarke looked into Lexa's eyes in the dim lighting of her garage and seriously contemplated if she wanted to say it. Clarke opened her mouth to confess those three words Lexa probably already knows, but Clarke wanted to confirm it and say it directly to her.

Clarke was getting ready to say it when a timer went off. Clarke immediately reached into her pocket to turn the timer on her phone off. She turned it on when she came outside with Lexa and she had set it for the ham. She needs to go check it.

"We should go back inside." Lexa said and she was looking at Clarke like she knew what she was getting ready to say. Clarke didn't say anything, but she nodded.

Lexa walked away first and like a magnetic pull, Clarke followed her.

* * *

 

"Sam, what are you thankful for?" Abby asked. They were all sitting around the table and they were going around and asking what everyone was thankful for. Clarke was yet to go, but Lexa went. Lexa told them that she was thankful for two loving parents and for Clarke and Sam (Sam was very happy about that). Lexa said she was thankful that she had survived the car accident and that she looks at everyday to be a blessing. Once Lexa was done, it was Sam's turn.

"Lexa!" Sam answered happily and Clarke looked offended.

Sam quickly responded, "And my mommy!" She said quickly and Clarke smiled over at her.

"I'm thankful for all of you guys and my Grammy and grappy and Charlie and..." Clarke listened to her daughter list almost everyone that came to mind.

Half way through it (Clarke knew this was going to happen), Sam said what Clarke was hoping she wouldn't.

"I'm thankful for my daddy!" Sam said happily again and then she looked over at her mom.

"Where is he?" Sam frowned at the absence of her father. She knew he hadn't been here all day and she was wondering when she was going to see him again.

"He's not coming, sweetie." Clarke said softly to her. She tried to keep herself calm in this situation.

"But, why? He's always here for Thanksgiving. Will I see him later at his hotel?" Sam asked and Clarke held on tight to the fork in her hand. She wasn't mad at her daughter for asking such a simple question. Her daughter was confused and she understood that, but she didn't want to think about Finn and she didn't want to think about that hotel.

"Sorry, squirt. Your dad is away on a business trip and you won't be seeing him for a while." Lexa said as she looked over at Clarke and Clarke nodded.

_Thank you_

_You're welcome_

"Oh." Sam said sadly.

Everyone knew Lexa was lying, but they went along with it because what do you say to a six-year old, who's father just got arrested? No one at that table knew and Clarke didn't want to explain it to her now.

"Clarke, how about you honey?" Her mom asked gently and Clarke cleared her throat.

"I'm thankful that I have such an amazing support system and I'm thankful for my daughter every day. I'm thankful for my parents and," Clarke took a huge breath, but she wasn't going to back out. "I'm thankful for Lexa." Clarke said and Lexa was in the middle of stuffing her face with turkey, when she looked over at Clarke. Clarke let out a giggle, a small and cute giggle, in front of all her friends and family, but she didn't care.

She was so in love with Lexa.

"I'm thankful that you've stuck by my side, even when things got tough between us. I know none of you really know what's going on between us, but you have an idea and I'm just... really glad you're around." Lexa swallowed her food as fast as she could so she could respond.

"Me too." She said softly and Clarke smiled over at her.

"Mommy, we are both thankful for Lexa." Sam let out an excited squeal at the fact that her mom was thankful for Lexa too.

"We are, sweetie." Clarke smiled over at Lexa again and she caught sight of Lexa's pink ears and she smirked.

"I'm thankful for beer!" Jasper interrupted the sentimental moment and he high-fived Monty.

Clarke knew the specialness of the moment that just happened and she saw the look of awe on Lexa's face and she knew that she was overwhelmed, in a good way though. Clarke and Sam both had her on her list of being thankful.

Clarke never had Lexa on her list before, but she would tell her in private after they finished hooking up. She never admitted that Lexa was on her list when she was around the dinner table with her friends and family and even Lexa.

Clarke knew and so did Lexa.

It was hard to break eye-contact with each other after that.

* * *

 

The night was winding down and Sam was already in bed. She ate way to much and it was come up on ten o'clock at night. Mostly everyone had gone home. Abby and Jake were taking leftovers that Clarke was giving away because she knows that her and Sam weren't going to be able to eat all of them. Sam was on break from school and she wanted to do some Black Friday shopping with her tomorrow. Lexa had stayed behind and she hugged her parents and her sister goodbye.

Abby and Jake left with promises to see them soon, leaving Clarke and Lexa alone. Clarke wordlessly got out two glasses and opened up some of the red wine Lexa brought over. Lexa tapped her glass so Clarke could stop pouring and Lexa took a sip and sighed.

"Today was better than expected." Lexa commented and Clarke nodded and took a sip of her wine as well.

"It was."

"How does it feel?" Lexa asked with a small smile.

"Amazing." Clarke sighed and she took a sip of her wine again, her smile hiding behind it. It felt good that she got to be open about her relationship with Lexa, instead of it being in the dark.

"Didn't know I was so appreciated around here." Lexa joked as she tipped her glass to Clarke and Clarke tipped hers back.

"Very appreciated." Clarke hummed.

Lexa grabbed a hold of her hand and lead them over to the couch. The same couch Clarke admitted she was cheating. Lexa sat down first and Clarke followed. Clarke wrapped an arm around Lexa's neck and pulled her close. Clarke knows she's only took a few sips of wine, but she's already feeling more relaxed and she melted into Lexa's side and draped her legs over Lexa's lap. Lexa held onto them and gave Clarke a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you for that save earlier." Clarke whispered. She didn't want to ruin the quiet moment.

"Of course. I know it wasn't my place, but I could see how you didn't have an answer for her and she's familiar enough with the fact that her dad leaves on business trips." Lexa rubbed Clarke's legs up and down.

"Stay." Clarke whispered out again and she looked down so she could see Lexa's eyes. Lexa searched her eyes with a silent question and Clarke nodded.

"Please, stay." Clarke begged and Lexa nodded and she waited because she knew Clarke wanted too. She waited for Clarke's lips to connect with hers and Lexa let out a small moan and pulled Clarke onto her lap. Clarke pulled away from her lips and stared down at Lexa.

"I will." Lexa promised with a whisper and then she promised again with a kiss. She kissed Clarke with absolute want, but she knew that Clarke wasn't going to further her advances, and Lexa was completely fine with that.

The two stayed on the couch and they didn't have to hide it, even though Sam was upstairs sleeping, they were still cautious. But, no one was in the house for them to stop and Lexa was sure she wouldn't stop even if someone was here. She connected her lips with Clarke and she hoped she could taste the promises on her tongue (Lexa thinks she did, because Clarke moaned the second Lexa's tongue collided with hers).

Lexa kissed her with the promise that she would stay for however long Clarke wanted.


	23. Chapter 23

"I want to get her something nice." Lexa said over to Anya as they dodged many of the other mall shoppers.

"Engagement ring nice or bracelet nice?" Anya joked and Lexa rolled her eyes.

"Bracelet nice." Lexa answered and Anya nodded seriously.

"Okay, okay. Let's go look then. But, you have some time."

"Christmas is in like three weeks!" Lexa exclaimed and Anya laughed.

"Well, maybe you should be quick like me. I already got Raven's present. I have had it for a while now." Anya said.

"What did you get her?" Lexa asked curiously as they walked further into the mall.

"You're going to kill me..." Anya trailed off.

"Oh, god. What did you get?" Lexa asked with even more interest.

"A Rolex." Anya said quietly and Lexa's eyes widened.

"You got her a Rolex?" Lexa all but yelled and Anya immediately shushed her.

"Yes, yes! She works so hard and long hours being a mechanic and I had enough money saved up. The reason I got it is because she's not expecting it at all. I got her a few other things but you are my sister and I'm not sharing that information with you." Anya said seriously and Lexa laughed.

"That's so sweet of you, Anya." She had no doubt that Anya could afford it with being the successful lawyer that she was.

"I just hope she likes it." Anya said and Lexa looked incredulously at her.

"It's a Rolex. I won't be surprised if she married you after that." Lexa teased and Anya rolled her eyes.

"Oh, hush you. Don't think I haven't noticed that you spend even more time with Clarke and Sam." Anya pointed out and Lexa deflated because Anya was right. She has been spending a lot of time with her girls and she's absolutely loving it. She doesn't really spend the night because she has to get home to Charlie, but she spends more hours with them than she normally would. Lexa has been loving every second of it.

"I don't know if I told you this, but I'm happy for you." Anya said seriously and Lexa nodded.

"Thank you."

"Did you hear about the snow storm we are getting next week?" Anya asked suddenly as they entered a jewelry store.

"Yeah, it's going to be a lot of snow." Lexa commented and she immediately went over to the counter where she spotted a sliver and blue bracelet.

"This one." Lexa pointed and Anya whistled.

"Damn, that's a lot of money. But, who am I to talk? I spent a ton on Raven's gift."

"It's beautiful. I didn't have months to plan for this because I didn't think this would all be happening right now," Lexa explained her sister. "We don't normally get each other presents for Christmas. Clarke just thought it would be weird if I buy her an insanely expensive bracelet or any other jewelry. She knew Finn would question it. But, Clarke has been through a lot and I want something nice for you."

"Well, then. Let's look around." Anya said with a proud smile.

* * *

 

"So how're things?" Jake asked as he sat across from his daughter. They were out grabbing a bite to eat with each other.

"Better." Clarke answered as she stirred her coffee.

"How's Lexa?" Jake asked and Clarke immediately brightened up.

"Good." She said bashfully and Jake smiled at his daughter.

"You are smitten." He teased and Clarke rolled her eyes.

"Do you think it will get serious?" Jake asked curiously.

"I hope it will. She isn't someone who I'm just feeling the hole in my heart with. She's helping me heal with all of this. She isn't just a warm body and she isn't someone I'm trying to replace Finn with. I know I had this very talk with you when me and Finn were going to settle down and get serious, but I think she's it for me. Like, I just want her." Clarke said honestly and she looked up at her dad. He was getting gray hair and wrinkles around his eyes, but he was looking at her with bright eyes.

"I'm happy for you sweetie."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

* * *

 

"My attorney is sending Finn the papers right now as we speak." Clarke said into the phone and she listened as Lexa sighed.

"Let's just hope he cooperates with them." Lexa said, Clarke immediately noticed how tense she sounded.

"Everything alright?" Clarke asked.

"Fine," Lexa grunted. "I knew this was going to happen and I'm stupid for not seeing it." Lexa's irritated tone caught Clarke's attention.

"What's wrong?" Clarke frowned.

"There were these guys trying to deal in my bar and I'm just... Can you come see me?" Lexa asked in a small voice. It was cutting it close, she was going to have to pick up Sam from school in an hour, but the way that Lexa was sounding, didn't sound good.

"I'm on my way." 

* * *

 

Clarke drove like a mad woman trying to get to Lexa. Lexa sounded so small on the phone and she remembers how she once felt like that and she knows that Lexa isn't in the right mindset and she wanted to get to her before she did something stupid.

Clarke rolled up and parked in the parking lot and jumped out of her car and went inside the bar. The bar was pretty busy for it to be two in the afternoon and Clarke looked around for Lexa. She immediately spotted Nyko behind the bar and he saw the urgency on Clarke's face and he pointed to the back with a sad smile. Clarke wordlessly followed his direction and went into the back to Lexa's office. Her heart dropped when she noticed Lexa curled up into a ball behind her desk, with Lincoln trying to comfort her.

"What happened?" Clarke asked as she rushed over to Lexa. She kneeled down in front of her. Lexa was literally curled up into a ball, with her head between her legs. She had her hands covered over her ears and Clarke gently placed a hand on Lincoln's shoulder.

"I got her." Clarke said softly and Lincoln eventually nodded and he got up and left.

"Lexa." Clarke gently pried Lexa's hands from over her ears and tried to get the other girl to look at her.

"No." Lexa whimpered and she was shaking her head and Clarke wonder what happened to get her beautiful girl in such a distress state.

"Talk to me." Clarke whispered out.

"No." Lexa cried again and she was still shaking her head.

"Lexa, baby, please." Lexa finally look up at her and Clarke offered her a kind smile. Lexa didn't smile back. Clarke was sure that she wasn't even looking at her. Clarke tried to appear as calm as possible.

"They did it right in front of me. Like they were trying to mock me. Like they knew." Lexa spat, still not looking at Clarke.

"Why would they know?" Clarke asked confused and Lexa sighed and she finally looked at Clarke.

"Roan's still in jail. He had his court date a few days before your hearing and he isn't getting out. Anya said that Nia may try something, that she had that look in her eye." Lexa explained softly and Clarke grabbed a hold of her right hand and she kissed the inside of her palm and then her knuckles. Clarke trailed her kisses down her wrist and arm and she stopped where Lexa's shirt started. Lexa stared down at her with admiration.

"Don't let her win," Clarke whispered out with determination. "Even if they had nothing to do with it. Don't let her win."

"I just.. I clearly saw what they were doing even though they were in the corner of the bar. A part of me wanted to go over there and kicked them out and another part of me wanted some," Lexa cried out. "Fuck, Clarke. What the hell is wrong with me? And, then I thought about you and Sam and that's when I threw them out."

"You threw them out, that's all that matters." Clarke reassured her.

"But I still thought about it!" Lexa reasoned and Clarke shook her head.

"Even if you are back here in distress, you did the right thing," Clarke said softly.

"Why don't you come with me to get Sam?" Clarke asked.

"I would love too, but I'm working behind the bar for a few hours." Lexa explained and Clarke was getting ready to respond when her phone went off. She frowned deeply when she saw that Sam's school was calling.

"Hello? Principal Miller?" Clarke answered.

"Hello, Mrs. Griffin-Collins-"

"It's just Griffin." Clarke interrupted the man.

"Right, yes, of course. I'm calling because Sam got into a fight with another student. It was a physical fight and your daughter wasn't hurt. It was actually against a boy, but she won't talk to me about it and I was just wondering if you could come down here?" Principal Miller stated and Clarke was already nodding.

"Yes, of course. I'm on my way." Clarke said as she hung up and she got up off the floor and Lexa followed.

"I could come by for dinner. Maybe get some pizzas when I get off." Lexa said, not knowing the conversation Clarke just had.

"Yeah, maybe. If I don't ground Sam before then." Clarke said with venom. She has no idea why her daughter would get into a physical fight with someone else, a boy for that matter.

"What happened?" Lexa asked.

"Sam got into a fight," Clarke said and Lexa let out a small gasp. "I gotta get down there. Maybe you could bring by those pizzas later? I want to finish talking about this." Clarke said before she left and Lexa nodded.

"Of course."

* * *

 

Clarke sped off once again in route to her daughter's school. She was thinking that Sam better come up with a good reason as to why she would put her hands on another student. Clarke knows that this is Sam's first year in school and she hasn't gotten into any trouble thus far.

Clarke walked into the school and straight to the principal's office. She saw her daughter sitting in one of the chairs in the office and Clarke went inside.

"Hello, Principal Miller. I'm so sorry about all of this." Clarke rushed out. She then turned around and frowned when she saw who the little boy Sam assaulted was.

It was John Murphy's kid, Evan. She couldn't help but notice the red mark across his cheek. They were at the birthday party and Clarke tried not to panicked and she went over to her daughter. Sam was looking down at her lap and she looked up when she heard her mom approaching her.

"Sam, do you want to tell me why you hurt this little boy?" Clarke asked through a polite smile. Sam didn't say anything, she just glared across the room at the boy.

"Mr. and Mrs. Murphy will be here soon. I'm sure you don't have to stay around. I'm not going to suspended her or anything like that. Sam is a remarkable kid and she is always kind. Now, I know things haven't been the greatest at home and-"

"Thank you, Miller. We will be going now." Clarke cut him off. She didn't want to discuss this in front of her daughter. She picked her daughter up and Clarke groaned a bit. She forgot how big Sam was getting, but she didn't put her down.

She knows that she isn't very happy with Sam right now, but she doesn't like the look on her daughter's face. Something isn't right and she knows Sam won't talk to her here. Clarke walked out of the school as fast as she could. She was trying to avoid John Murphy at all cost. Clarke opened the door for Sam and she hopped in. Her daughter usually tells her about her day and talks excitedly the whole way home and Clarke frowned when she looked into the rear view mirror and noticed her daughter's sad expression. Something really wasn't right.

When they got home, Sam immediately went to her room and Clarke was trying to figure out the best way to get what happened out of her. Clarke cleaned up around the house and paid a few bills before she went up to Sam's room. She didn't bother knocking because the door was already open.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Clarke asked and her daughter shook her head again and Clarke sighed.

"Lexa is bringing pizza by later and you can have some but you will have to tell me what happened." Clarke tried to bribe her daughter. She saw Sam perk up at the mention of Lexa, but still her daughter wore a sad expression and Clarke became desperate.

"Sam, baby girl, please tell mommy what happened." Sam didn't say anything as she sat down on her bed and faced away from her mother and Clarke knows any other time she would've got on Sam for acting the way she is, but she knew that her daughter was clearly in a bad mood. Clarke left her daughter alone until Lexa came.

Clarke answered the door to Lexa holding up two pizza boxes and a bottle of wine and Clarke moaned at the smell of it. She called Sam down and Clarke filled Lexa in on what was happening. Sam didn't even say hi to Lexa when she sat down at the dinner table and Lexa tried not to frown. Clarke looked at her.

_See_

_Yeah, this is weird_

"Sam, are you going to talk to me?" Lexa asked and Sam looked over at her with sad blue eyes. Sam looked like she was getting ready to answer, but she just took a bite of her pizza instead.

"When were you going to tell me?" Sam asked quietly and Clarke whipped her head up. Sam was looking at them with curious eyes and there was a lot of things she wasn't telling her daughter, she didn't know which one Sam was talking about. Clarke couldn't help but note how much older her daughter sounded just now.

"Tell you what?" Clarke asked, though she was dreading the answer.

"That my dad isn't really away on a business trip. Daddy's business trips never last this long." Sam said softly. Clarke looked over to Lexa and Lexa look at Sam with wide eyes.

"Evan told me that... He told me that my dad is in jail!" Sam cried and Clarke gasped as Lexa choked on some of her wine.

"He did what?!" Clarke yelled and Sam was getting ready to repeat herself.

"Honey," Clarke stopped her.

"Is it true? He was saying mean things about him and I got mad and I pushed and slapped him."

"You slapped him? Way to go!" Lexa was getting ready to hi-five Sam when Clarke glared at her. Lexa quickly lowered her hand and started shaking her head.

"No, Sam. Violence isn't good." Lexa felt like a fool for telling her that. She was the one who got into a huge fist fight with Finn.

"Is it true?" Sam asked again and Clarke exhaled. This isn't how she was going to tell Sam. In fact, she wasn't even going to tell Sam, not until after the holidays. But, leave it up to John Murphy's kid to go running his mouth. How did Murphy even find out? Clarke realized he must've talked to Monty or Jasper because they still keep in touch with him.

"Yes. Your dad is in jail." Clarke admitted and she watched as her daughter started crying. Clarke sat back in horror. She knows her daughter knows what jail is and she knows that her daughter is probably piecing together that she won't see her dad again and this is exactly what Clarke was trying to avoid.

"Can I go to my room?" Sam had finished eating her dinner and Clarke couldn't see why she couldn't go to her room. Clarke wishes that she would've said more to her daughter, but she was honestly blind=sided by the whole thing and she knows tomorrow morning she will go talk to Murphy about all of this because this wasn't the way for her daughter to find out. She didn't even know that her daughter knew and she looked over to see Lexa's helpless face too as Sam got up and walked up to her room.

"I'll give her a minute. But, she needs to take a bath. I guess it'll be a early night." Clarke said slowly. She wasn't really aware of the words coming out of her mouth, she was focused on her daughter's devastated expression and she has no idea how she will explain this to her.

"Do you want me to help you?" Lexa asked softly. Clarke has been putting Sam to bed every night by herself. She always has, except for the nights that she made Finn come home and take care of her. Clarke fully realized over the last couple of weeks that she is now a single mom. She knows she has her parents and her friends to fall back on. But, they aren't Sam's dad. Lexa hasn't really spent the night since Thanksgiving and Clarke looked over at her.

"I would love that." Clarke said honestly and Lexa nodded as she got up. Giving Sam a bath is one of Clarke's favorite things to do. She knows Sam will start getting older and take baths or showers by herself. But, she has always enjoyed giving her one, they easily bonded over it.

Tonight was different.

Sam didn't even want her mom to touch her. She would flinch away from her and Clarke watched her with sad eyes. Lexa tried and of course, Sam let her. Clarke got up and Lexa looked back at her. They didn't silent communicate with each other, Lexa didn't know what to say. Clarke turned on her heel and left. When Sam was done, they went back to her room where Clarke was laying out her pajamas. Sam's hair was wet and Clarke went to dry it. Clarke was relieved that her daughter didn't flinch away. Lexa waited until Clarke finished drying Sam's hair and she went over to pick up the pajamas she laid out for her. It was a quiet affair, no one talked as they got Sam ready and Lexa looked over to Clarke and she smirked.

Nothing was funny about this situation, but it's been a long time since Lexa helped Clarke put Sam to bed and Lexa couldn't stop the warmth that overtook her heart. She could seriously get used to this, taking care of her girls. She knows what happened earlier and she scolded herself over and over again for even thinking about giving in. It's been a long time since she's been around it and as a past drug addict, she recognized what it was immediately. Clarke had that knowing look in her eye too, but she didn't say anything about what was happening. They put Sam into bed and Clarke reached over to get a book off of her book shelf.

"Can Lexa read it to me?" Sam asked in a small voice and Clarke nodded and handed the book over to Lexa. Clarke sat back and watched Lexa read to Sam. Clarke looked at her daughter, who's hair was now dry and she was already dozing off. Clarke looked at how small she looked and she felt so bad.

This isn't how she wanted her daughter to find out and she can't even believe that she did. She was going to carry this out for as long as she could and she didn't feel sorry about it because she didn't want her daughter to know and she mentally cursed herself because she keeps messing this up.

She messed up Sam's oblivious that she would never see her father again and she messed up her birthday and she felt like a terrible mom. She didn't know how, but before Lexa was even done with the book, Clarke watched her daughter fall asleep. She knew Sam was asleep because she was doing that light snore that she's sure she picked up from Finn.

Clarke let out a silent sob and she cried for her daughter. Her daughter doesn't ever act out in violence and she can't believe that she did today. Clarke also can't believe that she admitted that her dad was in jail to her six-year old daughter and she cried because Lexa is so good with Sam. Clarke watched as Lexa kissed Sam's forehead and gently pushed the covers more on her and Clarke held it together as she kissed her daughter goodnight too. Lexa placed a gentle hand on Clarke's back and guided her out the room as she softly shut the door.

"I can't believe she knows." Clarke cried as she entered her bedroom and closed the door behind them.

"How did she even find out?" Lexa asked as she sat them on the bed.

"Murphy's kid. That's why she got into a fight with him and I just feel so bad," Clarke sobbed. "This is what I was trying to avoid."

"I know, but she knows now and tomorrow after school, we really need to talk to her about it." Lexa said and Clarke looked over to her.

"We?" She asked around her cries and Lexa's eyes widened when she realized her slip-up.

"I mean you." Lexa said awkwardly and Clarke smiled sadly at her.

"You can be there, if you want to be. All I know is tomorrow morning, I'm going to have a few choice words with Murphy." Clarke said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, no." Lexa teased and Clarke rolled her eyes.

"Thank you for being here. Are you okay?" Clarke asked and Lexa nodded.

"Yes. Better than before. I really needed to see my girls." Lexa admitted and Clarke gave her a small smile.

"Seriously, are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?" Clarke asked as she got up and pulled back the covers.

"I don't know what came over me." Lexa admitted quietly.

"And, that's okay. I'm not going to hold this against you. You act like you did it, Lexa you didn't." Clarke said.

"I just felt so weak and I had to get away from it." Lexa confessed as she sat down on the bed again. They were still wearing clothes, they haven't changed yet.

"I don't think I should stay tonight," Lexa said. "Sam seems to be going through a lot and I've never slept over while she was here too and I don't want to confuse her."

"That's smart. You're right." Clarke said even though she so desperately wanted Lexa to stay.

"Will you be okay?" Clarke asked.

"I'll be just fine." Lexa responded smoothly, she doesn't want to think about what happened earlier and how weak she felt when it came to it.

"I'll come back in the evening so we can talk to her." Lexa got up from the bed and rounded it over to Clarke. Clarke looked up from the spot she was sitting and looked over to Lexa, who was taking slow strides over to her.

"Give him hell tomorrow. Seriously, that wasn't cool. I don't care how he found out. The only thing that matters is Sam is upset." Lexa said seriously and Clarke stared up at her with wonder. She wonder how she got so lucky to have a woman like Lexa love her daughter so much. She wonders how Lexa is still sticking by her side, even though she could've left. She wonders about how Lexa can be so beautiful all the time.

She was looking down at her and Clarke grabbed her softly by her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. It was clear that Lexa wasn't expecting that and her lips bumped against Clarke's. It was a sloppy kiss at first (Lexa needed to get herself together).

But, Lexa was sure she wouldn't get herself together. She never does when she kisses Clarke. All of her body is completely disoriented when she kisses Clarke. (Lexa doesn't get it together). Clarke kisses her until she completely falls apart and she also pulls away when she knows she has rendered Lexa speechless.

"Thank you." It was as close as Clarke could get to, _I love you,_ and Lexa stared at her with dark eyes.

"You're welcome." That sounded a lot like, _I love you too_.

"We will get through this." Lexa said.

"I hope so." Clarke whispered back.

Clarke pulled Lexa back in for a kiss. It didn't help her forget about the fact that her daughter went to bed upset or how she had no idea how to talk to her daughter about this. She's going to track John Murphy down tomorrow and have him explain how his son found out about this and decided to say something to Sam.

But, for a little bit, it helped Clarke relax.

The gentle way Lexa was kissing her, like she could break any minute, had Clarke coming back for more. She sucked and nipped Lexa's lips until she had her gasping for breath again. She wishes Lexa could stay, but she knows that she should go home now. Clarke was reluctant to let Lexa go. Lexa kissed her with promises to come back tomorrow and Clarke finally huffed.

She hugged Lexa long and hard before she left, wishing with all her might she would just tell Lexa she loves her.


	24. Chapter 24

Clarke sighed as she watched her daughter walk away from her angrily. Clarke had asked if Sam wanted to stay home today, she didn't mind since it was Friday, but Sam said she wanted to go to school.

Clarke groaned and she was getting ready to turn on her heel and leave when she saw John Murphy. Clarke was seeing absolute red as she marched over to him. He noticed someone coming his way and he turned to face Clarke, his eyes widened when he did.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Clarke spat with venom and John gaped at her.

"She wasn't going to find out. I wasn't going to let her. At least, not right now. But, why am I not surprised that John Murphy couldn't keep his mouth shut? How did your kid even find out? She's my daughter, my fuckin' daughter and I have fought like hell to keep her happy and you just ruined it." Clarke stepped up to him and pushed him.

"You ruined it. She wasn't suppose to know." Clarke pushed him again and John held his hands up in surrender. Clarke was glad no other parents were around.

"Clarke, calm down. Please." John begged.

"You want me to calm down? My daughter just found out her dad is in jail and she is absolutely devastated and it's your fault!" Clarke yelled.

"I'm sorry," John squeaked out. "It was an accident, I swear. Evan over heard me on the phone when I found out. It was on speaker phone and I didn't know Monty was going to say that. Evan was right there and I guess they had some sort of disagreement and Evan said something about Finn. I'm sorry, Clarke. I am." Clarke chose to ignore Murphy's sympathetic look.

She ignored it all.

"Sorry isn't going to fix my daughter." Clarke spat and she turned on her heel and left. She wasn't going to gift Murphy anymore time in her presence. Clarke drove off, wondering how she was going to explain this to her daughter.

* * *

 

Clarke's parents decided to come over after Clarke picked up Sam from school. Sam was sitting in the family room with her grandparents while Clarke and Lexa were in the kitchen.

"We could just tell her he isn't good? That she needs to stay away from him." Lexa suggested and Clarke nodded.

"I could tell her that, but then she will want to know why." Clarke said. It's been a couple weeks since the incident, but the bruises on Clarke's thighs were still visible. Clarke and Lexa wanted Sam to see that there was a reason why her dad was in jail, but they were having a hard time figured out how.

"I could just show her?" Clarke asked and Lexa frowned.

"That's pretty heavy stuff for a six-year old." Lexa commented.

"She's smart. She'll see it and realize. It's the only way. She won't understand otherwise." Clarke said. She was confident this would work, even if it was harsh.

"It could work-" Lexa started and she didn't get to finish as Clarke sped off to the family room. Lexa was right on her heels.

"Clarke, wait!" Clarke rushed into the family room and crouched down to address her daughter.

"Do you remember what I told you about bad guys?" Clarke asked her daughter. She was siting on Jake's lap and she looked up at her mother. Sam nodded slowly.

"How they hurt people?" Clarke asked again and Sam nodded again. She didn't want to do this, but she didn't want Finn anywhere near her daughter and she knows that he is in jail, but that could change. He could get out and she has no doubt that he will come after Sam when he does.

"Daddy is a bad guy." Clarke said and she cringed while she did. She didn't cringe for telling the truth. She cringed at that sad look on her daughter's face.

"Daddy hurt mommy." Clarke said emotionally and she tried not to cry. Sam picked up on the fact that her mother was sad and she paid more attention to what she was saying.

"Daddy hurt mommy not only physically, but emotionally. Mommy isn't okay right now and daddy did it." Clarke said and she knew she was already crying.

"He did?" Sam asked quietly.

"Yes! Sam, he did. That's why he isn't here anymore. So he can't hurt me and he can't hurt you." Clarke said seriously and Sam jumped up from her grappy's lap and rushed over to her mom.

"Don't be sad, mommy." Sam whispered and Clarke cried even more. She tried to hold it together but she felt absolutely horrible that she just explained this to her daughter. Clarke was just glad that she didn't have to show Sam what happened to her.

"Are you still sad?" Clarke asked and Sam shook her head.

"I don't want daddy to hurt you." Sam said honestly and Clarke nodded.

"He did, baby. He did."

"I don't want to see him then." Sam said and Clarke nodded again. She didn't say anything, she just hugged her daughter and she held on tight.

She looked up and made eye-contact with Lexa.

_Well done_

_Thank you_

* * *

 

Clarke didn't want to be away from her daughter. It was only two days after she told Sam what happened and she noticed that Sam wasn't as sad as before and she also noticed that Sam clung to her side a lot more. Clarke thought it was so sweet how protective Sam was of her.

Clarke was taking a much needed break from... well... everything really. She was out with her friends and she doesn't get to do that a lot. They were at Lexa's bar and Lexa took the night off to hang out with her friends. It's been a while since they all hung out together at Lexa's bar. Usually, it was just Clarke that would come here by herself because she had plans to hook-up with Lexa. Clarke was fond of the memories of her walking into this bar over and over again just to get a taste of the girl she was sitting next to right now.

They were all sitting around in a booth, sharing stories. Everyone was careful to not share stories of Finn and Clarke was grateful for it. Clarke had been able to cuddle with Lexa freely and she loved it. She placed a hand on Lexa's thigh and squeezed it all throughout the night.

Clarke missed being intimate with Lexa and she doesn't know when she will be able to be with her in that way again. She knows she wants it to happen soon though, but every time she thinks about it, she sees Finn's face and it completely ruins it. She's so lucky that Lexa is so understanding of the whole thing.

"Who wants more drinks?" Lincoln asked as he approached the table with a tray full of drinks. He kissed Octavia on the cheek and handed her over a drink. He passed drinks out to everyone and Clarke was the last one he handed one over too.

Clarke hadn't been drinking at all tonight, something about her just doesn't want too. She knows she's in company of her friends and nothing bad can happen, especially with Lexa right beside her. She feels so safe with her around, but she doesn't feel like she could handle drinking right now. She doesn't want to be irresponsible, even though a drink would loosen her up.

"No, thank you." Clarke said to Lincoln and he just nodded and handed it over to Jasper, who greedily accepted it.

"You okay?" Lexa asked near her ear and Clarke sighed. She loved being so close to her out in the open.

She was getting ready to respond when she saw someone who looked exactly like Finn. He had the long shaggy brown hair like him. He was wearing a business suit and _Jesus,_ Clarke thought it was him. She completely panicked, she gripped Lexa's thigh so tight that Lexa hissed.

 _"Clarke!"_ Lexa let out painfully.

"We have to go." Clarke rushed out, she was already gathering her things and Lexa looked at her with confused eyes until she followed Clarke's gaze to the man in the business suit. Lexa already knew what Clarke was thinking and she tried to stop her. Clarke immediately pushed her off of her and continued to gather her things.

"Did you not hear me?" Clarke hissed. "We need to go."

"Clarke, it's not him." Lexa let out desperately, trying to get Clarke to calm down.

"I have to go. I have to go." Clarke muttered.

"Sweetie, just calm down." Octavia tried and Clarke shook her head.

"How are you guys not seeing it? That's him. Oh, my god. That's him." Clarke started to sob as she grabbed her hair.

"Clarke-" Lexa tried to talk to her.

"No." Clarke whimpered and Lexa watched on with the most painful expression.

"Babe-"

"No."

It was funny how the roles were reversed in this situation. Lexa remembers how she went through her mini panic attack and she shot up out of her seat.

"Sorry, guys. I need to get her home." Lexa said and they all nodded with sad eyes. Lexa tried to grab a hold of Clarke and Clarke let her. Lexa gently guided her outside and away from the man, who was unaware of the pain he was causing.

"It's okay." Lexa said as she got them in the car and drove off to Clarke's house.

"No, your loft." Clarke whispered and Lexa nodded.

* * *

 

Lexa should have known what was going to happen the second they stepped foot into her loft.

Well, first she took Charlie out and fed him and when she turned around, Clarke grabbed her by her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. Lexa let it happen. She didn't mind kissing Clarke, she was absolutely fine with it, but when Clarke tried to undress her, Lexa stopped her.

"Clarke." Lexa said quietly and Clarke looked up at her.

"You don't want to have sex with me?" Clarke asked in a sad voice and Lexa sighed.

"You know I do. But not like this. Clarke, you aren't in the right mindset to be doing this. Please, let's just go to bed." Lexa begged and she watched the hurt flash across Clarke's face.

This wasn't how she wanted to get back into the grove of things, she knows Clarke is hurting and maybe Clarke did want this. But Lexa knew of the events that happened. Finn keeps triggering her and Lexa didn't know how to help the girl and she didn't want Clarke to turn to sex, even though she did it for years.

"Okay." Clarke said quietly.

Getting ready for bed was a quiet affair. They brushed their teeth and washed their faces and climbed into bed. Lexa was tired and full of all the good food she ate tonight and she just wanted to hold Clarke and tell her everything is going to be okay. Lexa is seeing how it isn't though and she wishes Clarke would get better. Lexa wrapped herself around Clarke and Clarke held onto her hand.

"I'm sorry." Clarke said quietly.

"Don't be," Lexa said. "But it's clear that this is still affecting you and I'm not saying you should be over it. I'm just saying, maybe you should talk to someone." Lexa suggested.

"I don't know." Clarke said unsure.

"Please, think about it. It's clear that you aren't getting better Clarke. You have your good and bad days and you could be having a good day and the slightest thing will set you off." Lexa reasoned and Clarke nodded.

"I know," Clarke cried out. She was sick of crying."I don't know what to do." Lexa held onto Clarke tightly.

"I should move." Lexa was drifting in and out of sleep, but she was very aware of what Clarke just suggested and she didn't think it was a bad idea. Maybe Clarke should move. She's been living in a house that belongs to her ex-husband. Finn easily knows where they are living. Maybe Clarke should move to get away from it all.

"I won't move too far. But, far enough. To get away from that damn house. I know Sam was raised in it and I just want new memories for us. For all of us." Clarke added and Lexa smiled into her hair. She took a huge sniff of Clarke (She's been more than happy with all the daily doses she gets of Clarke now).

"Maybe you should." Lexa agreed and Clarke hummed.

"Do you ever want kids?" Clarke asked suddenly and Lexa took a moment to think about it. It was a random question and Lexa had never really thought about it. She knows she adores Sam, but did she want kids of her own?

"I like to think one day, I will." Lexa said as she swallowed hard. This was a heavy topic.

"With me?" Clarke asked and Lexa sucked in a breath. Clarke looked back at her and Lexa looked at her with wide eyes.

"Yes," Lexa breathed out honestly. "I don't know. Maybe I could get pregnant one day."

"You would want to be pregnant?" Clarke asked surprised. They have never talked about this.

"I would like too. You were already pregnant and hypothetically speaking, if we ever do want another kid, I would like to get pregnant." Lexa said honestly.

"You'd be so cute pregnant." It was a strange and heavy topic to discuss right before they were getting ready to go to bed.

It was a heavy topic to discuss when they weren't fully together yet. It was a heavy topic for what just happened at the bar, but Lexa found herself happy to talk about this and so was Clarke. Clarke honestly didn't think Lexa would want kids of her own, let alone want to get pregnant. Clarke couldn't stop the images of a pregnant Lexa walking around someday and she hopes it could happen.

Clarke was very aware of what this means. They both just silently agreed that they would be together in the future. Really together. Not treading on water like they are doing now.

Clarke wants to swim.

She doesn't want to float and be unsure and she realizes that maybe she does need help. She doesn't want to admit it, but even though she thought of a pregnant Lexa all night, in the back of her mind, she saw Finn and she wishes she didn't. Because she was wrapped up in such a beautiful girl's arms and that's all she wanted to focus on.

She wanted to focus on the warmth and on Charlie, who wasn't too far from them. She wanted to talk about moving out of the house and Lexa being pregnant. She knows that if Lexa ever did get pregnant, it would be a while from now, but Clarke hoped to god that it could happen. She wants a family with Lexa. She wants to be happy with her. Clarke placed a kiss to Lexa's cheek before they finally drifted off to sleep. She didn't want to think about what happened at the bar and how she easily thought that guy was Finn. She wanted to think about Sam and how much she missed her. She wanted to think about the possibility of having a family with Lexa.

She did.

She thought about Lexa.

She also saw Finn.

* * *

 

"How's my girls?" Lexa asked into the phone. It was the day the snowstorm was going to happen and the skies were grey.

"Better." Clarke answered and she meant it. Sam was handling her father being in jail better than before and Clarke was glad for it.

"What are you doing?" Lexa asked curiously.

"I was just looking for some new houses." Clarke hummed.

Lexa had no idea that she was walking up to her loft with Sam right behind her. They both had their suitcases with them and Clarke was carrying a huge bag filled to the top with groceries. They hadn't necessarily talked about the snowstorm and where they were going to be when it happened, but Clarke didn't want to get snowed in at the house and when Clarke suggested that they should go to Lexa's place, Sam was definitely up for it.

Lexa had no idea.

"Oh, really? Did you find any good ones?" Lexa asked interested.

"A few," Clarke hummed back as she juggled the grocery bag and her suitcase. "Hey, why don't you come to your door?" Clarke asked as she stopped outside of Lexa's door, Sam on her heels. She wanted to be a big girl and push her own suitcase today.

"Why?" Lexa asked confused and Clarke grinned.

"It'll be worth it." Clarke responded and she heard movement inside.

Clarke heard the door unlock as Lexa opened the door. Clarke heard Lexa gasp and Charlie let out a few barks. Clarke smiled sheepishly at her and Lexa let out a surprised smile.

"Hi Lexa!" Sam greeted happily and Lexa was so glad she was in a good mood.

"Hey, Squirt. Come on in. Let me take your bags." Lexa greeted as she opened the door wide for them.

"Heard you could use some company during the snowstorm." Clarke murmured and Lexa smiled a lazy smile at her.

"Did you?" Lexa drawled out. Clarke nodded with a smile on her face.

"Looks like you brought the whole grocery store with you." Lexa commented as she took Clarke's suitcase and closed the door.

"Well, I have to make sure my girls are fed now, don't I?" Lexa smiled again at Clarke. She was honestly not expecting them to come over and she was glad she cleaned before they arrived. Sam was over playing with Charlie and they went into the kitchen.

"Thank you for coming." Lexa said quietly and Clarke just nodded. She was so comfortable around Lexa and so used to being in her kitchen. She knew where everything was and she put the groceries away without a second thought.

"I wanted to be with you. I didn't want to be there." Clarke said seriously and Lexa swooped in for a quick kiss. Lexa was sure to pull away slowly so their lips don't sound around the kitchen for Sam to hear. Clarke hummed into the kiss and Lexa sat back and watched her put the groceries away.

Lexa was going to help, but Clarke said she got it. Lexa watched Clarke work around her kitchen and she had to admit: it looked good.

Outside it was already snowing and people were trying to get home. It was cold and wet out, but it was so _so_ warm in Lexa's loft.


	25. Chapter 25

"Mommy look at all the snow!" Sam exclaimed as she walked over to the floor-to-ceiling window that Lexa had.

  
"Yeah, baby, I see It," Clarke smiled. "Now, come on. Dinner is almost ready."

  
They all made pizzas for dinner and it was getting pretty late. Clarke had gotten an email saying they were closing down the schools tomorrow and Clarke was happy that she gets to spend some time with her girls. Especially here in Lexa's loft and not at the house. She feels so much freer here and the possibility of living with Lexa crossed her mind more times than she could count tonight.

  
But, she knows that she would have to explain why they were going to live here to Sam and Clarke really just wanted a house she could call her own. She had more than enough money saved up and she knows she could afford a house, especially when she opens up her art gallery. Lexa had promised to help her next week and really get the ball rolling on it and she was excited. She was going to have a premiere night and all her friends and family were invited. She couldn't wait for it.

  
"Okay." Sam easily agreed. She would never pass up food.

  
They all sat around Lexa's kitchen table and they ate and chatted and laughed until they were completely full up.

  
"I have an idea." Lexa spoke up. They were clearing up the kitchen table.

  
"What?" Sam asked curiously.

  
"We should move my couch back a little bit and bring the guest bed out here since it's big enough to fit all of us and we should push it up against the couch so we can lean against it and watch movies." Lexa suggested and Clarke let out the biggest grin and so did Sam. Lexa's breath caught in her throat as she looked over at her beautiful girls.

  
"That's a great idea!" Sam jumped up and down from her spot and Clarke was so glad that her daughter seemed happy in this moment because she sure as hell was.

  
"It is. But first you need a bath." Clarke said over to Sam and she nodded.

  
Giving Sam a bath was a fun time like it always was, minus the day she found out about her dad. Clarke and Lexa laughed and enjoyed working together as a team as they got Clarke's daughter clean and when she was done, she went to go get dress in Lexa's room.

 

Clarke laid out her pajamas and Sam wanted to put them on like a big girl. While she was getting dressed, Lexa move the couch back enough to where the bed would fit and they went to move the bed into the front room.

  
"This is the first real night I'll be sleeping with both you and Sam together." Lexa commented as she pushed the mattress down the hall while Clarke pulled.

  
"I know. It's going to be so nice." Clarke groaned as she pulled the heavy mattress.

  
"It's so pretty out." Clarke pointed out as they dropped the mattress in the desired area. Clarke walked over to the window and Lexa followed her. It was still snowing and it was pitch black outside aside from the little light the street lights provided.

 

The snow was bright and sparkling and it looked so beautiful, but Lexa wasn't watching the snow fall or how the snow covered everything. She was sure it was pretty, but nothing was as pretty as the girl standing next to her and Lexa wished she could kiss Clarke in this moment.

 

She bets it would be a perfect moment to kiss her. The lights were low in her loft and the snow falling outside set the romantic tone. But, Lexa knows she couldn't kiss Clarke right now. Sure, Sam was down the hall in her room getting dressed, but Sam was fast like a ninja and she's known for popping up on people.

 

Lexa knows Clarke hasn't mentioned what they are yet to Sam and she's completely okay with that because they were still working their relationship out themselves. Lexa would give anything to lean over and get a taste of Clarke.

  
"Not as pretty as you." Lexa breathed out and she was shamelessly staring at Clarke instead of the snow. Clarke let out a heartwarming giggle and sighed.

  
This was yet another moment where she could've said _I love you._ Lexa was casted in the perfect lighting right now. With the snow falling outside and the low lighting in Lexa's loft. Clarke stared at wistfully and Lexa smirked.

  
She didn't think she had to say it aloud. Lexa already knew.

  
"I did it, mommy! I got dressed." Lexa immediately put some distance between her and Clarke and looked over to the little girl who was running their way.

  
"Good job, baby girl. You are growing up so fast." Clarke gushed and Sam giggled.

  
"Come on, I wanna watch a movie." Sam said.

* * *

  
Clarke and Lexa took turns showering and getting ready for bed. Sam was so preoccupied with the movie, that Clarke went into Lexa's bedroom while Lexa was still getting dressed.

  
She was shirtless, she only had her sweatpants on and she looked like she just dried her hair. Clarke wasn't really sure why she decided to stand there like a creep, but she did. Lexa smirked as she put her shirt on and slowly walked over to Clarke.

  
"Enjoying the view?" Lexa teased and Clarke rolled her eyes.

  
"Maybe." Clarke shrugged.

  
Clarke did something she hasn't done in a while. She got undressed in front of Lexa and Lexa watched in awe as Clarke removed clothing after clothing and Lexa was glad Sam was so into the movie they were watching.

  
"Clarke." Lexa said barely above a whisper. She wanted to take her eyes away from Clarke to be respectful, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She watched as Clarke got fully naked right in front of her. She stared at her beautiful curves and small waist. Lexa stared at Clarke's breasts that were standing at her full attention. Lexa stared at the fading bruises on Clarke, they were almost gone.

 

Lexa stared at Clarke.

  
Lexa stared at Clarke's smirk and she growled.

  
"This isn't fair." Lexa whined.

  
Clarke didn't say anything, she was backing herself up into the bathroom and Lexa followed her. She took slow steps towards her and when Clarke was in the doorway, she turned to lean against it and Lexa was suddenly just there.

  
Lexa grabbed Clarke by her neck, making sure she had permission and when Clarke nodded, Lexa leaned in and captured her lips and she moaned because she was truly tasting Clarke. She was tasting her mint chap-stick, she was tasting the pizza they had early. She was tasting Clarke and she should've known it was going to be short lived.

  
But, Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke's naked waist and she pulled her in and she kissed her with hunger. She knew she needed to stop before Sam did actually come and find them and she needed to stop for herself. She's been so worked up for weeks and she hates to admit that she's sexually frustrated. She's been having sex, an extremely high amount of sex, for the past three years and it just suddenly stopped and she can't deny that she wants it. But, she knows Clarke isn't ready and that's what pulled her away.

  
"Why'd you stop?" Clarke panted.

  
"We can't do this here." Lexa reasoned and Clarke groaned.

  
"You're right." Clarke said, "I didn't immediately push you off."

  
"You didn't but that doesn't mean you are better." Lexa reasoned and Clarke sighed.

  
Clarke didn't say anything as she fully entered Lexa's bathroom and turned on the shower.

  
"I'll be with Sam." Lexa told her and Clarke nodded.

  
She wasn't mad. She knew Lexa was right, but this is the first time she got naked around Lexa and didn't feel dirty. Clarke would like to call that progress.

* * *

  
Lexa's never really spent the night in the same bed as Sam. She's spent the night while Sam was around, but she would sleep in her room here or at her house. Sleeping with Sam was quite the experience for Lexa. Clarke didn't seem phased by it at all. In fact, Clarke was completely used to it.

  
Lexa was not.

  
Lexa values her sleep, she likes to sleep. Sam likes to sleep too. But, _good_ _lord,_ she moves a lot. When she has shared a bed with Clarke, Clarke barely moves. Sam was all over the place and Lexa wasn't annoyed, she just wasn't used to it.

 

Every time Lexa got comfortable and would drift off to sleep, Sam would move. She was sleeping in between both of them and Sam threw her arm around Lexa's stomach. Sam's arm wasn't long enough to reach all the way around Lexa, so it was just laying there awkwardly.

  
Lexa would shift and so would Sam. Lexa was seeing how this was a lost cause, Sam didn't wake up once during her movements and Lexa finally fell asleep with Sam's head resting awkwardly in her arm pit.

* * *

  
"This place is looking good!" Octavia commented as she walked inside with careful steps. Clarke and Lexa had spent the majority of the day going over things like lighting and the floorboards. Almost everything was done and Clarke's painting were hanging on the wall but they were covered with white sheets of paper. The ceilings were dark, Clarke had the option of making them white, but she found the darker ceiling brought a sense of calming to the place. The ceiling had two columns of lights that provided more than enough light.

  
Lexa brought in the two black leather benches that were placed in the middle. Clarke didn't really have to hire anyone, except for the floor and lights. Lexa proved to be the perfect handy woman.

  
"I can't wait until the premiere." Raven gushed as she looked around the place and Clarke smiled. She was so happy right now, being in the company of her two best friends and the girl she was in love with.

  
"I know. It's going to be sick." Lexa commented, a little out of breath. She's been moving things all over today for Clarke, but she was absolutely loving it.

  
Clarke was _glowing._ Like she was in her natural habitat and she probably was. Clarke didn't stop smiling once, even when they got into a mini argument about where the benches should go, Clarke still smiled.

  
"Are you nervous?" Octavia asked, still looking around the place in awe.

  
"A little. But I've always wanted to do this." Clarke answered.

  
"I love the dark theme. Seriously, it just makes the place pop. It makes it more relaxing." Raven said as she walked around.

  
"I know, it looks so cool." Clarke squeaked and Lexa smiled over at her.

  
"Well, we just wanted to stop by and see how it's going. We hate to leave, but we have to get back to work." Raven said as she hugged Clarke and then Lexa and Octavia did the same.

  
"We will see you at the premiere." Octavia said as a farewell and Clarke and Lexa nodded to them.

  
"Bye."

  
Lexa walked over to Clarke once they left. She was nervous. She wanted to wait until Clarke had some grasp on reality. It's only been a week since the snowstorm and most of the roads have been cleared off and Sam was back in school. Lexa isn't saying that Clarke isn't stable right now, but a lot has happened and she doesn't know if this is a good time, but she at least wanted to ask. She feels like this could be a really big step in their relationship and she wanted to ask Clarke.

  
Clarke was behind the front desk, doing some paperwork when Lexa approached her slowly. Clarke was wearing her glasses today and she looked magnificent. They had an hour or so before they needed to pick Sam up for school and Lexa wanted to ask before they both get distracted by the six-year old.

  
Clarke looked up once she noticed Lexa approaching. Her footsteps echoed around the place.

  
"Hey." Clarke greeted as she turned one of the pages she was working on.  
Lexa stood there like a creep until Clarke caught on to the fact that she wasn't going to move.

  
"Can I help you?" Clarke asked slowly and Lexa grimaced. She was already messing this up, but she knows that Clarke probably has no idea that she's even about to ask this.

  
"I wanted to ask you something. I know the timing probably isn't good but I just had to ask.." Lexa trailed off and Clarke closed the packet she was working on as she gave Lexa her full attention.

  
Clarke was almost amused by how stoic Lexa was being right now. She was standing much like the way a solider does when they are being told off.

  
"What is it, honey?" Clarke asked. The pet names have been coming more frequent than before. They still called each other babe or baby, but other endearments have been added and Lexa loves it. All the more reason to ask this question.

  
"Okay.. um.. well... oh, wow. I'm doing a terrible job at this." Lexa scolded herself.

  
"Just tell me, Lex." Clarke giggled and Lexa nodded.

  
"Okay. Do you want to go on a date with me?" Lexa asked all in one breath and she held her breath as she looked down at Clarke. Clarke was looking at her in shock and her mouth hung open a bit. Lexa wasn't sure how to take that reaction.

  
"Really?" Clarke asked in disbelief and Lexa nodded. She was so scared, that was the only movement her body was capable of doing.

  
"I want to go on a date with you. I think it's time. Maybe after the premiere?" Lexa asked and she watched on as Clarke's face broke out into a huge smile. Lexa barely registered the fact that Clarke shot up from her seat and rushed over to her.

  
"Yes!" Clarke cried as she hugged Lexa.

  
"Really?" Lexa was the one who now asked in disbelief.

  
"Yes!" Clarke cried again. "I honestly wasn't expecting this. Thank you."

  
"You're welcome," Lexa murmured. "I've been wanting to ask since the snowstorm a week ago. I know Christmas is soon and you wanted the premiere to happen before. But I was thinking maybe the weekend before Christmas we could have it?" Lexa asked.

  
"Yes, that sounds fantastic. This is great. I'm so happy right now." Clarke said and Lexa grinned.

  
"Me too."

  
Lexa didn't silently ask for permission to kiss Clarke. She just did it. The look Clarke was giving her was permission enough. She wanted to kiss Clarke so bad and she leaned in and did it.

  
She cherishes all the moments she gets to kiss Clarke, which have been a lot. She doesn't think she could ever get tired of kissing Clarke. It's her favorite pass time.

 

Lexa knows that they have to get Sam soon. But, they spent the forty-five minutes they had left getting reacquainted with each other's lips. Lexa backed Clarke up against the front desk and she was mindful of all the papers that were on her desk. She sat her on the edge and Clarke wrapped her legs around Lexa's waist and she moaned when their centers collided. Clarke hated how much clothing was in the middle of them. Lexa was so warm against her and she wanted more. For the first time in a while, she didn't see Finn when she kissed Lexa.

  
She saw the promises of a future together. She saw promises of Lexa being pregnant one day. She saw promises of love.

 

She saw Lexa. She felt Lexa. She breathed her in.

 

Lexa's name silently rolled off of every moan Clarke made into Lexa's mouth. The kiss turned dirty and frantic halfway through when Lexa wanted to fight for dominance with her tongue. Clarke was never one to back down from a challenge. Lexa started to unconsciously thrust into Clarke's center and Clarke was loving every moment of it.

  
Clarke wonders how she gets to kiss this completely and utterly beautiful girl before her. She wants to love every crevice of Lexa, but she knows she doesn't have time for that. Clarke's lips were swollen when she finally gathered up the strength to pull away from the kiss.

  
"We have to get Sam. Are you going to eat dinner with us?" Clarke asked as she filled her lungs with much needed air. Lexa was breathing hard against her and she looked _so_ hot and Clarke seriously juggled if she should lean back in or not.

  
"Yeah, of course." Lexa whispered as she helped Clarke down.

  
"I can't believe we are going to go on a date." Clarke sighed dreamily as she grabbed a hold of Lexa's hand and walked out of her gallery after she locked it all up. She couldn't wait for the premiere next Friday. She already had people trying to look in and see her work.

  
Clarke and Lexa held hands the whole way down the street and Clarke didn't hide the smile on her face. It was cold out and Clarke stayed close to Lexa. Clarke couldn't wait for their date the week after the premiere and she knows that this was a huge step for them.

  
"Me neither." Lexa smirked as she guided them down the street to Clarke's car, holding Clarke's hand the entire way.


	26. Chapter 26

"Okay, I have to ask you something." Clarke exhaled. They were getting ready in the bathroom in Lexa's bedroom and Clarke was almost done, she just needed to put her jewelry on and ask Lexa something.

"What is it?" Lexa asked as she finished curling her hair. Clarke took a moment, putting her necklace on as a pause before she straightened herself up and looked at Lexa through the mirror.

"There's a really big drawing right in the middle of the benches. I was going to hang it up but it looks better on the canvas. I want everyone to see you, how far you come, even if you think it's only a little bit and I kind of already made you my center piece..." Clarke trailed off as she looked at Lexa, who now finished curling her hair.

"Really?" Lexa breathed and faced her.

"Yes. I like the whole idea of the war-paint and I know you are still struggling with your past but you've come a long way and I'm so happy we are moving forward. I need to more forward and I want to do that with you." Clarke said seriously and Lexa nodded.

"Okay," Lexa said, touched. "I would love that."

Clarke leaned in and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips.

Clarke wanted to take her time getting ready, her nerves were on high and her daughter was waiting for them in the living room. Clarke was wearing a blue dress that made her eyes sparkle and Lexa was wearing dark colors to match her. Clarke put Sam in a black dress and she wore flats. Clarke curled her daughter's hair and Lexa thought she looked just like Clarke.

"You ready?" Lexa asked and Clarke nodded. She blew out a breath and walked out of the bathroom.

"Tonight is going to be great and then we can focus on our date." Lexa said and Clarke hummed.

"I can't wait. Where are you taking me?" Clarke asked with bright eyes and Lexa chuckled.

"I can't tell you, it's a secret." Lexa said in a hushed voice and Clarke pouted.

"That's not going to work on me." Lexa said. Clarke just pouted again as they made their way into the front room.

"Mommy, you look so pretty!" Sam squealed. "So, do you Lexa!"

"Thank you, Squirt."

"Come on, we should get going."

* * *

 

For a lot of her marriage, she had always dreamed about this moment. She looked around her gallery in awe. She couldn't believe how many people showed up. Her friends and her parents were here and Clarke had never felt so complete in her life. Sam dragged Lexa around the whole place, squealing at every picture even though she didn't know what was going on.

Clarke's paintings and drawings varied tremendously. One could be a raining day at the beach to a snowy day in the mountains. One could be of an architecture she saw to her own living room. People were loving it though and Clarke held her breath as Lexa neared the center piece with Sam. Lexa has seen this piece, she's given it to her up front, but it still made her nervous knowing Lexa was nearing it. She's already sold twenty copies of it and she doesn't know how she feels about having Lexa hanging up on other people's walls. But Lexa was a work of art and she deserved to be admired.

Clarke still couldn't quite believe that she had people looking at her art and she couldn't count how many hands she shook and how many praises she got. Her parents gushed over every single piece and Clarke was thrilled they finally got to see it. Clarke looked around the room and she smiled. It dropped a little when she saw Lexa approach the center piece. Many people hovered around it and even recognized that it was the woman they were standing by. It was the same picture she showed Lexa, it was just bigger and it was a drawing, not a painting, but it was still colored in.

Clarke likes to believe she captured Lexa with the right color and did it justice. She must've with the way people were fanning over it. She watched as Lexa stared closely to herself and there was a little note at the bottom. Clarke thought it would be a good idea to add _I love you_ at the end of it, but tons of people were here right now and those words were sacred to her and she wanted to say them in person and in private. But she still left her a little note.

_From the moment I met you, there was something about your eyes and I will never get over them. They are so beautiful and green, but they hide a lot of your hurt and you hide behind them. I hope you can take this leap with me, Lexa because I want you too. I want to experience life with you and I hope I can wipe away some of your war paint along the way._

Clarke decided to stop it right there. There was more she wanted to say, but she figured she could wait until they were alone or on their date. Lexa looked up and caught her eye and she nodded and Clarke sucked in a breath. Clarke knew why she was nodding and she hoped it would be true. She hoped she could experience life with Lexa and fully live it with her. Sam was overly thrilled that Lexa seemed to be the picture she was looking at and she was excited because she actually knew who it was.

Clarke hung out with Raven and Octavia, she never strayed too far from them. They were an excellent support system and she was so glad she had them. She watched with a happy smile as she watched Lexa and Sam together. She watched with a happy smile as many people mulled over her art. She smiled happily at the many people who came up to her with congratulations in store. She didn't think it could get any better than this.

(It did).

* * *

 

Next week rolled around and Clarke found herself getting all pretty in the mirror again. She dolled herself up, but she didn't put too much lip-stick on. She put enough make up on to feel comfortable. She wouldn't put any make up on in the presence of Lexa, but she didn't know where they were going or if pictures were going to be involved so she wanted to look her best. She was wearing a black skirt with a slit up the side that she knows Lexa will appreciate. She was wearing a white blouse with it tucked in and a pair of black heels. Her hair was up in a bun and she was wearing diamond earrings.

She had been out shopping earlier that week for Lexa's Christmas present. She's never really bought Lexa a Christmas present before and she knows she has three years to make up for. She wasn't really sure what to give Lexa. She wasn't really one for jewelry and then it hit her.

She's been watching Lexa wear the same old leather jacket for years. She could get her a new jacket, but she didn't want to get her just any jacket, she wanted to get the perfect one because Lexa deserved it. She also wanted to get Lexa a few other things. Her coffee machine has been acting up lately and she knows it's such a cliché gift to buy someone, but Lexa likes coffee and her coffee machine is breaking down on her. Those were only two gifts, Clarke wanted to give Lexa way more than that. Clarke didn't have much more time to think it over before she heard the doorbell.

Clarke was still in Finn's house, but she swears she is looking. It would be easier if it was just her because she would literally take anything, but she wanted a nice house for Sam to finish growing up in because she doesn't want to move again unless she absolutely has to. It was a nightmare trying to find a house on top of her divorce. Finn had signed the papers and it made this process a lot easier, she knows she is nowhere near done, but she couldn't wait to be. Sam was with her grandparents tonight and Clarke rushed downstairs to open the door. Clarke saw how Lexa gulped and gaped at her like a fish.

"Hello." Clarke giggled out and Lexa pulled herself together. She stood tall and she handed the flowers over to Clarke.

"For you." Lexa said smoothly and Clarke took the bunch of flowers. They were red roses and they were absolutely beautiful.

"Thank you." Clarke said shyly and Lexa nodded.

"I'm going to put these in water." Clarke said over her shoulder and Lexa waited for her. Lexa was dressed in a white buttoned up shirt, with the sleeves rolled up and black pants. Her brown locks were curly and behind one shoulder.

She rubbed her sweaty palms against her pants and she felt much like she did in her teenage years when she was getting ready to go on a date. Clarke looked absolutely stunning and Lexa doesn't know how she's going to keep herself together.

Lexa drove them in the direction of her loft and passed it. Clarke asked over and over again where they were going but Lexa didn't say a word.

They pulled up to a fancy restaurant with a French name Clarke couldn't even pronounce. Lexa rounded her car and opened the door for Clarke. Lexa wordlessly took her hand and they walked inside.

Clarke was so wrapped up in Lexa that she failed to notice that there were no other cars here besides one. Clarke failed to notice how the lights were dim when they went inside and Clarke failed to notice the line of rose petals from the entrance to their table. But Clarke quickly figured it out. She looked around the restaurant and she gasped when she noticed no one else was here.

Something wasn't right because it was a Friday night and Clarke was sure this place would be busy. But, no one was here, not a single person besides the hostess.

"To your table ladies." He said in a thick Italian accent and Clarke gaped over at Lexa.

"How did you?" Clarke was very aware that she was walking on top of rose petals and she looked over at the candles on the table they were seated at.

"Nyko knows the manager and he pulled a few strings. He loves my bar and at first I didn't know he was going to even let me do this, but he did and I'm happy because the look on your face was worth it." Lexa said quietly as she pulled out Clarke's chair and waited until she was seated to push her in.

"It's beautiful." Clarke wasn't aware that she was dreaming this would happen to her. Finn had took her to dinner but he didn't clear a whole restaurant for her, Clarke doesn't even think he's romantic enough to do that.

"May I ask what you what to drink?"

Lexa answered for them.

"Red wine for the both of us, please," Lexa faltered and looked over at Clarke. "Is that okay?" Lexa whispered loudly and Clarke let out a heartfelt laugh.

"Yes, baby. That's perfect." Lexa ended up ordering their meals too. Mostly everything was in French, but Lexa already ask the chef beforehand if he could cook Clarke's favorite meal, besides pizza, which was steak. Lexa asked her to pick any sides and the chef would make it for her. Clarke jumped on that opportunity and she waited for their steaks to be cooked. The hostess left them alone. He went into the back with the chef so they could have their respected alone time.

"You definitely have so many brownie points right now. You just might get lucky." Clarke joked but she had that serious twinkle in her eye and Lexa wasn't looking for this as a way to get into Clarke's pants. She wanted to do this for Clarke because she deserved it and it was technically their first date together. They have been out to dinner a couple of times when they were hooking-up with each other but they weren't sure if it was a date or not. The fact that they both knew this was a date had them hanging on the edge for more. Lexa wanted more. So did Clarke. Lexa smiled over at Clarke.

"I can't believe you are here with me." Lexa whispered.

"You should. There's no place else I'd rather be." Clarke answered and then their food came out. The hostess was quick to set their food down and leave them be while they enjoy their date.

"How are you?" Lexa asked genuinely as she cut into her steak.

"Good. I've just been busy looking for presents for-" Clarke cut herself off. This was supposed to be a surprise and she almost ruined it. Lexa was still cutting into her steak and she looked at her with soft eyes.

"For Sam," Clarke said quickly. "I want to get her all the right things."

And Clarke meant it. She hoped she could give Sam all the presents she asked for, which one of them was oddly Lexa. Clarke knows she needs to talk to Sam about this soon. She's afraid that if she tells Sam, maybe Sam will stop liking Lexa. She knows it's a crazy theory, but it could happen and she hoped it didn't.

"Find her anything good?" Clarke didn't know if Lexa caught onto the fact that she may have been lying or if she was genuinely curious as to what she was going to get Sam, but Clarke nodded and tried to steer the conversation in a different direction.

"I was reading that an insemination could be a long process." Clarke brought up softly and Lexa looked up at her.

"I'm not saying you should do it now. But, if you wanted too.." Clarke trailed off.

"I do. I think about it a lot," Lexa interrupted. "I obviously want to wait until we've been together for a while longer but I think it's safe to say that we are it for each other. I know I don't want anybody but you so I'm ready."

"Me too. I wanted to wait until the divorce is finale so I don't have that hanging over my head."

"Of course," Lexa said softly as she took a sip of her wine. "I don't know if I told you but you look absolutely beautiful right now and words can't describe how badly I want to kiss you and possibly do other things to you." Lexa purred and Clarke giggled.

"I want to kiss you too. Maybe after this we could go back to your loft. We don't have to doing anything but my mom and dad do have Sam for the night." Lexa smirked.

"A whole night of Clarke Griffin to myself. The possibilities are endless." Lexa said lowly and Clarke removed one of her heels and she trailed it up Lexa's calf.

"You look beautiful too." Clarke hummed out as she massaged her foot over her leg and watched as Lexa's face flushed red.

"This isn't fair." Lexa found herself repeating.

"Of course it is. I have a feeling you could get some after this." Lexa can admit her center throbbed at the possibility of it but she would never force Clarke to do anything. Clarke easily caught on to what Lexa was thinking.

"I think I'm ready, Lexa. Really ready. I want to lose myself and have sex for the right reasons. I want to make love to you." Clarke breathed and Lexa's eyes widened and Clarke was very aware of what she just said.

"You want to... what?" Lexa squeaked.

"I want to make love to you." Clarke repeated easily, before she took a deep breath. This was the hard part, she's always known though.

"I love you," Clarke breathed out and Lexa eyes filled with tears. "I'm so completely and utterly in love with you Lexa Woods and I know we haven't gotten to dessert yet but maybe we could have some at your place after, I really want you to take me home. I want to love you." Clarke said boldly and Lexa nodded furiously.

"I love you too." Lexa said with a grin.

She finally said it out loud to the beautiful woman before her and she felt great and she would gladly skip dessert if it meant she could worship Clarke's body all night.

"Let's go!" Lexa said happily and Clarke giggled.

Lexa quickly paid them and told them thank you before she rushed out the door with Clarke. The sexual tension was high in the car and Lexa's body was buzzing with the thought of Clarke touching her for what had been a while. Their love confessions were still so fresh in their minds and they traded smiles the whole way home.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating sooner! I did start a new story and I've been planning that out, on top of school and work. I will never make excuses for not updating. I'm not giving up on this fic and I hope you don't either. It is literally my baby. Some of you have asked when I was updating and I don't mind it. I already told you guys feel free to comment if you feel like I'm taking too long. As long as you are nice about it, I'll try my hardest to get another chapter out soon. I will totally admit I've spoiled you guys with updating on a regular basis. Things are a little crazy for me right now with my exams in two weeks but I still managed to get this up for you guys because I like to think I'm awesome (I'm kidding).
> 
> Also thank you to my beta, mmeister911, she helped me a lot with this chapter!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Clarke found herself saying I love you all night long just because she could. The second they got home, clothes were ripped off in complete desperation but Lexa was still so gentle with her, which she loved. The second they parted for air after their long make out session against the door, Clarke whispered it between her lips. Clarke whispered it when Lexa sucked on the sensitive spots of her neck and she cried it out when Lexa worked her fingers into her.

They were completely naked with each other and there was nothing else Clarke was thinking about other than Lexa. Clarke knew from the amount of suction Lexa had, she was leaving love bites all over her neck. (Clarke couldn't bring herself to care. She would look into the mirror tomorrow and she would just smile at them).  

Clarke sighed and clenched her jaw as Lexa mapped out every single detail of her body. Lexa didn't miss a spot and she had Clarke panting for more.

"Lexa." Clarke found herself moaning out. They were at Lexa's loft and Clarke never wanted to leave this bed. Lexa's creamy skin was pressed against her and she was thrusting so deep inside of her. Clarke held onto the back of Lexa's neck and she whispered it. She always imagined what it would be like to confess those three little words while they were getting hot and intimate. Lexa's movements faltered in between her legs and Clarke desperately jerked her hips up to get some type of friction.

Lexa looked down at her with loving eyes and Clarke felt like she could cry in this moment with Lexa looking at her with love she had. With Lexa's long, slender fingers still so deep inside of her. With Lexa's hair cascading down around Clarke's face and Lexa's warm body pressed against her. Clarke wasn't aware that she actually started crying until she felt a tear slip out and she felt Lexa try to slip out but she grabbed a hold of her wrist.

"Keep going. I swear I'm okay. It’s just that I love you so much." Clarke cried out and she moaned even louder when Lexa slid knuckle-deep inside of her. Lexa kissed her tears away and she swallowed the blonde's moans and Clarke held her close. Their breaths mingled with one another as Lexa worked Clarke over the edge. Clarke threw her head side to side while having a death grip on the sheets of Lexa's bed.

Clarke was completely losing herself. She doesn't know if she wanted to be found. She wanted to completely bask in everything to do with Lexa Woods. She wanted to love her until she couldn't love her anymore. She couldn't have asked for a better partner in this and she has been nothing but amazing to her.

Clarke watched her with deep eyes as Lexa stopped at absolutely nothing to make sure Clarke knew this. Lexa was hitting every sensitive spot in Clarke. Lexa was sucking and biting her nipples like there was no tomorrow and Clarke could just hear her arousal in the air. She could smell it. And she felt herself getting deep and deep into those woods. She was so completely lost.

Her head was thrown back, her back arched off the bed and she let out the deepest moan she thinks she has ever made as she came around Lexa's fingers and it felt so good. To let go and fall into the person she was in love with. She felt so much lighter after she confessed those words and she whispered them over and over again until Lexa removed her fingers from inside Clarke.

Clarke was trying with all her might to catch her breath. She wanted to return the favor so she didn't want to waste time and she smirked because she knew exactly what she wanted to do to Lexa.

She grabbed a pillow and placed it in the center of the bed and she instructed Lexa to get on all fours and Clarke gently lowered her down so that her stomach was resting against the pillow and her bottom half was lifted in the air. Lexa was spread wide before her and Clarke's center throbbed just from looking at how wet she was. She was shining in the low light coming from Lexa's bedroom and Clarke didn't think she had the self-restraint to hold herself back.

So, she didn't.

Lexa was moving in anticipation and Clarke leaned down and licked up her folds and Lexa gasped. Clarke got more comfortable in between Lexa's legs as she was on all fours herself. She was going to eat Lexa out like there truly was no tomorrow.

She reveled in the sounds Lexa was making and smirked because she knew she was the only one that could make her moan this loud. Lexa usually isn't that loud in bed but she was all over the place tonight. She grounded her hips into Clarke's face many times. She gripped the bed sheets tight. She called out Clarke's name so many times she's sure all of her neighbors know who's fucking her and Clarke hopes they do because this was only their first round. Clarke knows they have many more to come.

Clarke knew that Lexa wasn't going to hold out for much longer as her moans were getting so deep and needy. Clarke knew she was approaching the edge and that only spurred Clarke on. She got a taste of Lexa over and over again. She thrusted her tongue deep inside Lexa's walls only to trail it back up and wrap around her beautiful and swollen clit. Clarke wrapped an arm around her thigh, holding her down while she ate her out with absolute abandon and Clarke was so incredibly turned on. Eating Lexa out had to be one of her favorite things to do.

"Clarke!" Lexa cried out again and Clarke lashed her tongue over Lexa's clit and she felt her body freeze up, but that didn't stop Clarke. She kept going. She couldn't stop herself. Lexa was so addicting, so addictive and she couldn't get enough of her taste.

Lexa came all over her tongue and Clarke greedily sucked up her juices as Lexa's back caved in and she held on tight to the pillows below her. Clarke definitely knows Lexa's neighbors know who's fucking her because she just screamed her name out as Clarke pulled away and she was proud of herself. Lexa's legs were trembling and she turned around and stared up at Clarke. She was wearing a dazed smile and Clarke giggled.

"Fuck, that was good." Lexa whispered out and her voice was a little hoarse from all the moaning and crying out she was doing making Clarke giggle again.

"I love you." Clarke said happily making Lexa pull her down for a kiss. Lexa moaned when she opened her mouth and could taste herself on Clarke's tongue.

"I love you too." Lexa said as she pulled away.

Lexa spent all night showing the neighbors who was making love to Clarke. 

* * *

 

Clarke was sure she had everything she needed. It was a hassle trying to get everything to fit in her car. There was no way they were spending Christmas here and of course, she asked Lexa if they could stay with her. Lexa freaked out and said she needed to start cleaning before they headed over. It was the morning of Christmas Eve and the roads were packed. It took a little longer than usual to get to Lexa's house.

Clarke wanted to spend Christmas Eve at Lexa's loft and they would spend Christmas at her parents house. It was surreal to think about because Clarke thought she would have been spending another Christmas with Finn. She still can't believe the events that took place to get her here now.

She was walking up to Lexa's door with a shit-eating grin with Sam right beside her. She brought a plate of homemade cookies that her and Sam made this morning for Lexa and she couldn't wait to give it to her.

Lexa answered the door wearing leggings and a red sweater with a reindeer on it. Clarke that it was insanely cute. Clarke was wearing a black sweater with two penguins on it and Sam was wearing a green and red sweater with a headband that had little elf ears on it.

(Later they would take a picture much like a family would and pose silly for the camera).

Clarke handed the cookies over to Lexa and she didn't even wait until she reached the kitchen before she started stuffing her face with them until Clarke scolded her and told her that's not how you eat in front of a six-year old. Lexa shrugged because she knew that Sam was so well-mannered that she wasn't worried she would pick up on her horrendous eating skills.

Clarke made herself comfortable like she always does when she is here and Sam went over to play with Charlie. Lexa subtly nodded towards the kitchen and Clarke got the hint.

The second they were out of sight of the six-year old, Lexa backed Clarke up into her counter and leaned down to capture her lips. Clarke pulled Lexa's bottom lip into her mouth and Lexa let out a soft moan. Lexa ran her hands up and down Clarke's side and Clarke's tongue traced Lexa's bottom lip. Lexa immediately opened her mouth but completely pulled away when she heard little footsteps approaching. Lexa moved like lightning. She was leaning against Clarke one minute and by her sink the next. She pulled away just as Sam entered the kitchen.

"Mommy, can I get my dolls out?" Sam asked sweetly and Clarke smiled.

"Of course, sweetheart." Clarke nodded and Sam was out of the kitchen in a flash and went over to the bag with all her toys in it. Lexa was still breathing hard and she looked over to Clarke.

"Sorry." She said and Clarke shook her head.

"Never be sorry for kissing me."

"Listen, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about." Lexa said as she looked over Clarke's body.

"Yes?"

"Well, there's no easy way for me to-" Lexa was interrupted by Clarke's cell phone ringing and Lexa waved at her to answer it. Lexa listened to the one-sided conversation Clarke was having with her mom and she wondered if she should even bring this up right now. Was it too soon?

"Sorry, my mom just wanted to see what time we are going over there tomorrow. What were you saying?" Clarke asked as she stood closer to Lexa.

"Um, nothing. Never mind." Lexa said quickly and Clarke looked over to her skeptically.

"Are you sure?" Clarke asked and Lexa nodded.

"Yup. I'm sure." Lexa hummed. 

* * *

 

They all lounged around the whole day. Eating cookies and food Clarke made. Lexa tried to help her out but Clarke said that she had it under control. Lexa knew it was just because Lexa shouldn't be anywhere near the oven and that she should just stick to mixing drinks.

It was getting later in the evening and Lexa was becoming more nervous. She had a huge present for her girls and she doesn't know if they will like them. Lexa wasn't sure she wanted to wait until tomorrow but she was seeing how she should. She opted for going for the smaller presents. It was a tradition to open one on Christmas Eve so they all gathered around Lexa's Christmas tree.

"Here's one for you and you." Lexa said as she put the presents in their laps. Sam looked like she was going to tear through the paper any moment.

"I'm happy we can finally get each other presents." Clarke said quietly in her ear as she handed Lexa her present. Lexa smiled back wide.

"Me too."

They let Sam go first. Lexa got her a baby doll that actually cries and burps. Lexa was seeing how this wasn't a good gift because the baby wouldn't shut up but Sam loved it and that's all that mattered. Lexa got Clarke that sliver and blue bracelet she had her eye on and she watched as Clarke opened the box.

"It's beautiful." Clarke gushed and she desperately wanted to pull Lexa in for a kiss but she behaved herself in front of her daughter.

"Open yours." Clarke instructed and Lexa nodded.

"I've noticed you never really had one so I figured I'd get you one. It's not a Rolex or anything but I hope you like it." Clarke explained and Lexa nodded.

"I love it. You know Anya is getting Raven a Rolex." Lexa informed the blonde as she looked over the watch Clarke bought her. It was nice sliver watch and it fit snugly on her wrist. 

"No way." Clarke gasped.

"Yup. She did."

"Open my present, baby girl." Clarke instructed her daughter who was wrapped up in Lexa's present.

"Okay." Sam said happily. It was a Frozen themed coloring book and Sam jumped for joy.

"Thank you mommy! Thank you!" Sam squealed and hugged her mom.

"You are welcome, baby girl." Clarke kissed the top of her head.

"I'm so happy right now." Lexa whispered into Clarke's ear and she had that look in her eye.

"Later, baby." Lexa smirked. 

* * *

 

It was early. Too early but they needed to get up. They were going to have breakfast at her parents house and she wanted to get going. They needed to pack up everything and Clarke brought a lot of stuff. Clarke kissed Lexa before they went to wake Sam up and they all drove over to her parents house. The whole gang showed up later, besides Jasper and Monty. They went on a skiing trip for a week. They were all sitting around exchanging presents with each other.

"Open this one next." Clarke instructed to Lexa and she nodded. She smiled immediately when she opened the box. She held it out in front of her expecting it. It was a brand new black leather jacket and Lexa smiled. 

"I love it!" She exclaimed and Clarke grinned bashfully.

"There's nothing wrong with the one you have now. I just figured you could use a new one."

"I love it." Lexa repeated and she seriously wishes she could lean down and kiss Clarke, but she held her tongue.

Lexa got Clarke a few gifts. There was one main one Lexa was hiding from Clarke that took most of her money but she got her a few extra things. She got a new paint set that Clarke was very happy about. She got a couple of shirts Clarke would point out when they went shopping. She got Clarke a new wine glass because you could never have too many.

Clarke got Lexa a few gifts on top of the watch and the leather jacket. Lexa really didn't ask for much and she was hard to shop for but Clarke got her a new motorcycle helmet with the Batman logo on it. She got her a smell good kit and some new shot glasses.

Sam got a variety of gifts from dolls to pretend babies to remote control cars and clothes. Clarke got her a tea party set that her daughter claimed 'she just couldn't live without'. Clarke watched in absolute joy as her daughter opened the presents she got her. Her last gift was Lexa because that's what her daughter asked for. She wanted to wrap Lexa up in wrapping paper and put a bow on top of it because Lexa was a gift.

"Your last gift," Clarke said dramatically to her daughter. "Which was oddly Lexa. Enjoy!" Clarke said happily and pushed Lexa in the direction of Sam. Sam hopped up and down and jumped in Lexa's arms.

"Can I keep her?" She asked seriously as she squished Lexa's cheeks and Clarke let out a loud laugh.

"You have to ask her that, baby girl." Clarke said back.

"Can I keep you?" Sam asked shyly to Lexa and Lexa nodded.

"Of course you can." Lexa said as she tickled Sam's sides. Clarke watched with a happy smile on her face before Raven interrupted them.

"There's one more present over here addressed to Lexa." Raven said as Lexa put Sam down and walked over to it. There was only one present Clarke didn't give to Lexa and her eyes widened. Just as Lexa was getting ready to open it, Clarke stopped her.

"Wait! No!" Clarke said as she snatched the gift out of Lexa's hands. Lexa looked over at her confused and everyone else did too.

"Clarke, that's my present and it's from you." Lexa pouted and Clarke's cheeks flushed red.

"It can wait." Clarke rushed out.

"But it's Christmas. I wanna open it now!" Lexa whined pathetically.

"I'm telling you, it can wait." Clarke said again.

"Oh come on, what's the big deal? Let her open it, Clarkey." Octavia said from her place on Lincoln's lap.

"It's for later. Way later. When 'you know who' isn't around." Clarke explained embarrassed as she tilted her head towards her daughter and Lexa finally understood and she smiled slyly.

"Oh," Lexa said in understanding. "In that case, it can wait." Clarke avoided the eyes of her parents as they were getting ready to wrap up the gift exchange when Lexa stopped her.

"Wait, hold on," Lexa said nervously. "I have two more presents."

"Haven't you guys spoiled each other enough?" Anya snorted.

"Not yet." Lexa said and she pulled out two sets of keys.

"One is for Sam and the other is for you. I'll be back. Can you move the coffee table for me?" Lexa asked Jake and Lincoln and they both nodded. Clarke looked confused. She thought they were done with all the presents. Clarke's eyes widened when she saw what Lexa had.

"The box was so big, I decided not to wrap it and just give it to Sam." Lexa stated as she struggle to move the box. Jake and Lincoln rushed over to help her.

"Is this for me?!" Sam asked excitedly and Lexa nodded.

"It's a four wheeler! You got my daughter a four wheeler?" Clarke cried and Lexa nodded happily.

"I can teach her how to ride it around the neighborhood. I'll ride my motorcycle and she'll ride the four wheeler. I can teach her in the backyard too." Lexa added and Clarke furrowed her eyebrows. Her backyard was pretty spacious but not nearly enough room to ride around on a four wheeler.

"Lexa, the backyard-"

"Can I say something and you just listen?" Lexa asked nervously and Clarke nodded. She didn't know what was going on so she just nodded.

"You've been talking about moving out for a while now. I bought a house, Clarke," Lexa announced and Clarke's eyes widened. "It's beautiful. Five bedrooms. Two rooms in the basement. A huge backyard and it's only ten minutes away from Sam's school. I bought it for you Clarke." Lexa said as Clarke gasped.

"It has that white picket fence and a porch you always wanted. It has a two door garage. It has extra rooms and it's not Finn's house. I bought it a couple of days ago and it's mine. Ours, if you will. I want to say this in front of everyone because I'm serious about you and Sam. Will you move in with me?" Lexa asked and Clarke started crying. Tear after tear came out and Sam had no idea what was going on.

"Really?" Clarke sobbed and Abby wiped at her eyes too.

"Yes, I know you want the house in your name-"

"That doesn't matter."

"Okay, well then, yes. I want to move in together. I know you don't know what the house looks like but I know you will like it." Lexa said and Clarke nodded.

"Thank you." Clarke whispered as she looked over to Lexa and she nodded.

"We can ride the four wheeler wherever. The neighborhood is so big, there's even a park in it." Lexa informed them.

"Wow, you outshined everyone, Lexa." Lincoln joked and Lexa laughed. She walked over to Clarke and handed over the keys.

"I already have a pair. This is your own set. You can move in whenever you want. I haven't moved my stuff in yet." Lexa informed her.

"We are going to live with Lexa?!" Sam asked happily and Clarke didn't lie.

"Well, she was on your Christmas list. Yes, baby. We are." Sam ran over to Lexa and Lexa caught her with ease.

"I'm keeping her forever." Sam said dramatically and Lexa laughed as did everyone else.

"I love you so much." Lexa whispered and Sam nodded.

"I love you, too." Sam said loudly and Clarke really tried to keep her tears at bay but for once, they were happy tears.

"We can go see it later on if you would like?" Lexa asked quietly as she sat down next to Clarke and Clarke nodded.

"Of course. Of course."

This was quite possibly the best Christmas she has ever had.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr- rebelguitargirl
> 
> Thanks to my beta, mmeister911!!

It was the type of house you'd see in the movies. It was huge and it did have that white picketed fence and a porch Clarke had always wanted. It was farther away from their old house but still in a friendly neighborhood. There was in fact a playground not far from their house and Clarke was already in love with it. Sam asked her a bunch of questions as to why they were moving as Sam thought they would stay in the old house forever.

 

Clarke gently turned to her and said, "It's not my house, baby girl. It's your Dad’s. We have a house of our own now."

  
Sam nodded, but Clarke was sure she didn't understand what was happening. All Clarke wanted to do was move her stuff out which she did with the help of all her friends and family and of course, Lexa. They packed everything up that was Clarke and Sam's and put it in the moving truck.

  
Lexa had already moved her stuff and showed Charlie around. There was a basement as well unlike in Finn's house. Clarke was thinking that a part of the basement could be Sam's playroom. The family room was huge and so was the kitchen. There was even more space in the backyard than before, Clarke now understood why Lexa said Sam could learn how to ride her four-wheeler in the backyard.

  
Clarke was still freaked out that Lexa actually got her daughter a four-wheeler, she went out the day after Christmas and bought Sam five different helmets, shoulder pads and knee pads. Lexa laughed at her, but Clarke wanted her daughter safe and so did Lexa.

  
Clarke had everything moved in for the most part. She walked along the bare hardwood floors with a smile on her face. She already hung up some of Sam's baby pictures and Clarke was loving her new house. It still smelt fresh like pine and daisies. It smelt like a new start that Clarke was long overdue for.

  
She didn't allow herself to think about Finn, nor did she allow herself to think about the past. This was where she wanted to build her future and she wanted to build it with Lexa. She couldn't wait for it.

  
"You alright?" Lexa murmured as she snuggled her nose into Clarke's neck making the blonde giggle.

  
"I'm just fine." Clarke said happily as she turned around to plant a kiss on Lexa's lips.

  
"There's one thing I want to talk about." Lexa said against Clarke's lips before she kissed her deeply.

  
Clarke pulled away from the kiss with a lazy smile on her face, "What?"

  
"Sleeping arrangements," Lexa said and Clarke chewed her bottom lip. "The master bedroom is huge and it's yours if you want it." Lexa continued, but Clarke shook her head.

  
"We can share it." Clarke said.

  
"Clarke.."

  
"I want to tell Sam. I look at this house as a fresh start and it's a damn good one. You are still absolutely crazy for buying me a house, but I don't want any secrets. At Finn's house, all we did was sneak around and I don't want to continue that here.” Clarke said solemnly. Lexa nodded in agreement.

  
"Okay," Lexa said with a smile. "When do you want to tell her?"

  
"Maybe New Year's Eve or now."

  
It was six days before New Year's Eve and Clarke was looking forward to having a nice night with her family. Her parents and friends were coming over and Clarke wanted to get the place looking good. She wanted to get the cable people out here so they could watch the ball drop. Clarke couldn't wait to bring in the new year with her family.

  
"We should just tell her now, New Years is days away." Lexa suggested and Clarke couldn't help but agree with her.

  
"We can tell her tonight," Clarke said. "We could get our stuff moved in upstairs first, then I can make dinner. After dinner we can tell her?"

  
Lexa hummed and brought Clarke in for a kiss, "That could work."

  
They moved all of their stuff in upstairs. Everything was still in boxes. Sam’s room was next door, but the hallway provided more than enough space, Clarke walked down the hall with a smile even though she was carrying heavy boxes. She was happy and as she looked into her daughter's room, she noted the smile on Sam's face too.

  
Lexa wasn't quite used to sharing things. Some of Clarke's things were at her place but, that was it. It wasn't that Lexa didn't like it, but she would definitely have to get used to this. However, these were her girls and she would do everything to make sure they were happy. 

* * *

  
Clarke was nervous as they put dinner on the table. She made her homemade chicken with some mac and cheese that she knew both her girls loved. Clarke was proven right because her girls stuffed their faces full of food. They had bought a new table because Clarke didn't want the table at the old house and Lexa's table in her loft was too small.

  
Clarke had cut up all of Sam's food for her and she was sitting on the same side next to Lexa. Sam was opposite of them and she looked happy. So many things have happened to her that Clarke was nervous to finally tell her daughter what was going on.

  
"Sweetie," Clarke started out nervously and looked over to Lexa. Clarke felt ten times better with the encouraging nod she gave her. Sam looked up at her mother and gave her mom her undivided attention. "We have some news."

  
"Are we moving again?" Sam asked with a frown. Clarke quickly shook her head.

  
"No, sweetie. We aren't." Clarke said with a soft smile. Sam stayed quiet and waited for her mother to speak again.

  
Clarke took a deep breath and then another one, "Mommy is very happy right now. Have you noticed?" Clarke asked and Sam nodded.

  
"I've noticed, mommy."

  
"Do you like having Lexa around all the time?" This time Sam smiled and nodded.

  
"Yeah, mommy. I love it. I love Lexa." Clarke looked at Lexa as tears welled up in her eyes. Lexa looked about the same and she smiled happily at Sam.

  
"Mommy loves Lexa too." Clarke breathed and Sam looked at her mom confused.

  
"I know." Sam said simply and Lexa's eyes widened.

  
"You do?" Clarke asked dumbly and Sam nodded.

  
"We both love her, mom." Sam said like it was obvious and Clarke breathed out a laugh.

  
"I want to be with Lexa," Clarke took a huge breath as she locked eyes with her daughter. "Like I was with your dad. I'd kiss Lexa the way I used to with your dad." She explained softly and Sam knitted her eyebrows together. Clarke couldn't help but note how much Sam looked like Finn.

  
"So, you kiss girls now?" Sam asked. "I know you told me it's okay to do that."

  
"Yes, mommy kisses both but I'll just be kissing Lexa." Clarke informed her and Sam nodded.

  
"Is that okay?" Lexa finally spoke. She was scared so she was holding her breath.

  
Clarke and Lexa waited for Sam to say something. She looked deep in thought and Lexa was so nervous. She couldn't figure out what was going through the six-year olds head.

  
"Is it okay, baby girl?" Clarke asked and Sam shook her head. Lexa gasped as Clarke tried to figure out what was wrong with Sam.

  
"You would kiss Lexa like you used to kiss daddy." Sam said sadly and Clarke nodded, trying to understand what her daughter was saying. Clarke waited until her daughter spoke, they both did.

  
"You don't kiss daddy anymore. That means you won't kiss Lexa anymore at some point." Sam cried and Clarke felt her heart ache in her chest. Her daughter was afraid it wasn't going to work out between her and Lexa. Clarke would fight until her dying days to make sure it works out between them. She knows Lexa was her forever.

  
"Don't worry about that, sweetie. We all live together now. We aren't going to separate. Not like me and daddy." Clarke said, hoping her daughter believed her.

  
Sam seemed to think it over and Clarke just hoped her daughter believed her. Lexa grabbed a hold of Clarke's hand and squeezed it. Clarke squeezed back like it was her lifeline.

  
"Okay." Sam said finally and Clarke sighed in relief.

  
"Okay?" Clarke asked warily.

  
"I don't want Lexa to leave us." Sam said seriously and Lexa shook her head.

  
"I'm not going anywhere."

  
Clarke knew her daughter was completely attached to Lexa and it was cute to watch. She knows her daughter would be absolutely devastated if something bad were to happen between them. Clarke didn't think her daughter had much to worry about. Lexa was stuck with both of them and Clarke wondered if Lexa truly knew what she was getting into. 

* * *

  
The days went by quicker after their talk. Clarke and Lexa didn't have to spend all day hiding.

  
Clarke was making them breakfast on New Year's Eve when Lexa came down after her shower. Sam had bathed too and her hair was wet as she waited for her breakfast. Lexa was nervous because it had been a couple days since they've told Sam.

 

Lexa took slow steps to Clarke in their new kitchen together and she gently turned her around. She knew Sam was watching them, but she couldn't stop herself. She leaned down and she planted a sweet kiss on Clarke's lips which made the blonde hum into the kiss.

  
Lexa pulled away before she looked at Sam. She was taken back that Sam was smiling at them and they all smiled together.

  
Lexa could totally get use to this.

* * *

  
The new year would bring a lot to Clarke and Lexa and they were more than ready for it. Lexa had talked to Clarke about finally going to see Roan, they both agreed that it needed to happen. Lexa wanted to close that dark chapter of her past. She wanted to be able to fully devote herself to Clarke and Sam because her girls deserved it. She wanted to be all she could for them and that started with finally dealing with her past.

  
Clarke was hoping to finalize her divorce and be free. She wanted to focus on Lexa and do domestic things with her. They had went shopping for their house, it was finally complete. Clarke had taken up gardening when she wasn't at her art gallery. It was useless to get Lexa out there with them, but she would come home after working at the bar and see her girls outside.

 

They would be covered in dirt (Lexa swears they threw the dirt at each other more than they actually planted it). It was a beautiful sight though. After everything that had happened, Lexa was truly happy that Sam was still able to smile.

  
Clarke and Lexa have been talking about pregnancy more and more these days. It was hard not too. Clarke hadn't held a baby in over six years and she was totally having baby fever. It was already decided that Lexa would be the one getting pregnant, because she wanted to experience it at least once in her life.

  
Lexa was sure she didn't know what she was getting into, but she wanted to have a baby and wanted it with Clarke. They haven't talked to Sam about it yet because they didn't know when they would actually want to start. They knew it was soon because it could be a long process.

  
Lexa took Sam around the neighborhood on her four-wheeler and Clarke hovered over them like a crazy Hen. She was also proud to see her daughter riding such a big machine like that.

 

Lexa stayed with her the whole time while Clarke trailed behind them. She wanted to give Lexa this time with Sam and it was clear Sam was enjoying it. She listened to everything Lexa said to her and Clarke couldn't have been more proud. She was sure they would go through a phase of not listening soon.

 

Clarke knows it's going to happen because she was the same way with her parents. She was so damn stubborn and Clarke knows Sam has picked up on that trait.

 

It was the early days of March, Clarke stood with a jacket on and watched her daughter ride her four wheeler on the half-covered snow sidewalk. She couldn't be happier watching her two favorite girls laughing and smiling with each other.

* * *

  
Lexa wondered if the saying 'new year, new beginnings' was true. She thought it was and sighed as she put her car in park. Her heart was heavy, so heavy, but she knew she needed to do this. She already spoke to Clarke about it, she knew she was late, but it was better than nothing. She wanted answers and she needed them now. Lexa shook her head as she got out of her car. She was wearing the new leather jacket Clarke got her for Christmas as she walked up to the jail.

  
She didn't want to be here and she thought it was funny how one little move, saved her from ever stepping foot in here. Lexa walked up to the jail with a heavy heart. She knew it was a visiting day because Anya had told her. Lexa wasn't as nervous as she thought she would be. She hadn't seen the man in a long time and she was finally getting ready to. She didn't want to run away from this anymore and she wanted to know what Nia had up her sleeve.

 

Lexa wasn't just looking out for herself anymore, that became very clear when she asked Clarke and Sam to move in with her, she needed to do this for them and a little bit for herself. She was sick of carrying her past on her shoulders and knew she needed to face the man.

  
Lexa was looking around before she went into the visiting room. He was sitting in the back with his head down. Lexa understood when he look up and his face was covered in bruises. Lexa looked at him in shock before walking over to him. He grew out his beard and his hair was in a full bun now.

  
"Hi." Lexa breathed as she slowly sat down and he just grunted at her.

  
"Roan.." Lexa breathed again. "What happened to your face?"

  
"I got into a fight. Better me than you, huh?" He grumbled. Lexa continued to stare at him in shock.

 

"I'm sorry it took me so long." Lexa said quietly. Roan just looked at her.

  
"There were some guys dealing in my bar. Do you know anything about that?" Lexa asked and which Roan just shook his head to.

  
"I don't know anything." He said as he continued to look at Lexa.

  
"Are you sure? Your mom was mad that you didn't get out on time. Did she have anything to do with this?"

  
"I don't know what you are talking about."

  
"You are lying. Don't forget that I used to know you." Lexa said determined.

  
"Yeah. Used to. Not anymore. I don't know anything."

  
"I have two girls I need to look out for and your mother better not even look their way."

  
Roan frowned at her while Lexa nodded.

  
"Never pegged you as a family person. Thought that wasn't your thing." Roan husked.

  
"It wasn't. Until I met the most amazing woman and I asked her to move in with me, she has a daughter. I love her, Roan and I love her daughter. I need to move on. I can't do this." Lexa said seriously.

  
"My mom is full of surprises. She could be planning something, but I don't think she is," Roan said. "She's just bitter and will continue to be bitter. I don't know about the dealing. My mom could have something to do with that, I don't know."

  
"Where is she?" Lexa asked coldly.

  
"Lexa.."

  
"I know you know where she is. Where is she, Roan?"

  
"Probably at her house or my grandma's." Roan answered which made Lexa smile darkly.

  
"What are you going to do?" Roan asked warily.

  
"I'm going to make sure she knows exactly who she's messing with."

  
"She probably isn't planning anything."

  
"You don't know that," Lexa sneered. "I will kill her if she hurts them."

  
Roan just sighed and nodded, "You could just talk to her."

  
"She sent her away." Lexa sneered and Roan looked at her sadly.

  
"I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you how sorry I am that she did that. If I had known," Roan blew out a breath before continuing. "I didn't know, Lexa. None of us did. Not me or Anya or your mom. If I had known she was going to do that, I would have stopped her somehow. I know how much you loved her. I'm sorry."

  
Lexa wasn't going to cry here. She wouldn't give Roan the satisfaction, but she already felt lighter. Her eyes did well up with tears because that's all she had wanted to hear was an apology. It was a long time coming. She knew her mom and sister were sorry, but she felt better. She couldn't keep carrying this around and she was tired of being angry about it.

  
"Thank you." Lexa breathed.

  
"I meant every word. I'm apologizing because I know my mother won't," Roan said seriously. "I don't care what you do to her, but I know she's not worth it."

  
What Roan was saying was true and Lexa was conflicted. She could just leave it alone and go home to her girls, but what good would that do? There was no way in hell that those guys dealing drugs inside her bar was a coincidence as it was the same drug she used to be addicted to. She knows Nia had something to do with it. She wanted Nia to know she was playing with fire.

  
And there was little time before she got burned.

  
Lexa could back off because she really didn't want to deal with it. She knows she wouldn't want anything to do with Costia because she has Clarke and Costia was so quick to leave with the money.

  
However, Lexa needed to deal with it and needed to come face to face with the woman who ruined her life.

 

She should face the woman that ruined her life when she was younger. She took away her first love, when she was just a teenager and Lexa hasn't been the same since. She was getting better with Clarke and Sam. She wanted to be the best version of herself for them. Lexa knew that started with facing her demons and Nia as she was the biggest demon of them all.

  
"Again, I am sorry it took so long." Lexa said.

  
"I'd rather it be me than you. You look happy. I'll talk to my mom. She shouldn't mess with you, but I don't know what good it'll do. I'm happy for you, Lexa. You deserve that happy ending."

  
Clarke deserved that happy ending too. Clarke and Sam were all Lexa thought about nowadays. After everything she had gone through with Finn, Clarke deserved to be happy. Lexa hoped she could be what Clarke needed. She loved falling asleep with her every night and waking up next to her in the morning. Sometimes, Sam would join them during the night and they would all fall asleep together. Of course, Charlie would howl until they let him up too. Lexa was definitely getting used to it and was becoming a family person. She wasn't scared to admit it when before she would have.

  
"Thank you, Roan. I should go." Lexa said. She did good enough for the first day. She didn't know if she would come back or not. She thought she would, but she wasn't sure.

  
"Thanks for coming to see me." Roan said relieved which made Lexa smile.

  
"You're welcome."

  
Lexa felt better after leaving the jail. That was exactly what she needed. She let go of some of her past and she didn't think she could ever do that. A part of it just slipped away as she hopped into her car and drove away.

  
She wouldn't let Nia win whatever game she was playing. She would sit back and wait for now. There was a lot at stake and Lexa knew this, but Nia would have to be the coldest person ever to mess with her family like that. But, she definitely was that cold. She was the fucking Ice Queen.

 

Nia would never win because Lexa wouldn't allow it.

  
Lexa drove home with a weight off her chest. She actually had a home with a white fence and a lot of backyard space. She had a crazy six-year old to get back to as well as her beautiful girlfriend all waiting for her. Lexa could cry right now, because this was her life now, but she wouldn't trade it for the world.

 

Lexa drove home with a smile on her face. Things were finally turning around for her and Clarke and she couldn't be more happier.


	29. Chapter 29

Clarke let out a deep moan as Lexa curled her fingers in her. Lexa stopped kissing her neck, before looking up at her.

 

"You have to be quiet, babe." Lexa said quietly. Clarke had her eyes squeezed shut. Lexa didn't know if she was listening or not, but at least she nodded.

 

"Sorry."

 

It was early into the morning and they both couldn't sleep. What was supposed to be an innocent make out session had turned into sex, luckily for them, Sam was still asleep. They were both naked, pressed against each other as Lexa worked her fingers in Clarke. Lexa was still coming down from her high of Clarke going down on her.

 

Lexa brought her thumb up and started rubbing fast circles around her clit. Lexa could hear Clarke's arousal echoing around the room. She was so wet and it was all for her.

 

"I'm gonna cum." Clarke's breath hitched as she let out a small moan. That sound was like music to Lexa's ears. She worked desperately to get her girlfriend off. Clarke was a withering mess in her arms as Lexa could feel her walls start to tighten.

 

"Fuck." Clarke whined. Lexa kissed Clarke on the lips as she came around her fingers. Clarke spasmed as she rode out her orgasm. When she was done, Lexa softly pulled her fingers out.

 

"I'm not used to being quiet with you." Lexa said softly. Lexa was used to having loud, messy sex with Clarke. She loved that Sam was here, but that meant they couldn't be as loud as before.

 

"I know, me neither." Clarke sighed, getting up. Clarke picked up one of Lexa's shirts off the floor and shrugged it on.

 

Lexa smiled at Clarke who was just wearing one of her button down shirts. She loved that they could have a steamy morning quickie before Sam woke up.

 

"What time are you going in today?" Clarke asked as she pulled sweatpants on. Clarke's eyes were shining with the sun that was coming through their blinds. It was a nice sunny day in May.

 

"Around noon. I'll be working until nine." Lexa informed her as she stayed in bed. She laid back and watched Clarke get dress.

 

"Okay, I'll have leftovers on the stove for you." Clarke answered as she swept her hair up in a ponytail.

 

"Thanks, baby." Lexa said sweetly.

 

"You're welcome," Clarke smiled. "I'm going to go get breakfast started. Can you take care of Sam?" She asked softly.

 

"You know I will." Lexa grinned at her girlfriend.

 

"Thanks."

* * *

 

Lexa took a quick shower before she headed to wake up Sam. After Sam took a bath, they coordinated her outfit- which was just jeans and a Frozen t-shirt. Lexa gave Sam the privacy to get dressed by herself, by waiting in the hall.  

 

When Sam called out she was done, Lexa went back in to check on her. Lexa loved the moments where she could take care of Sam on her own. It meant everything that Clarke trusted her with her daughter.

 

"Hey, Squirt." Lexa greeted, poking her head into Sam's room. It was painted hot pink because that was Sam’s favorite color at the moment.

 

Sam was sitting on her bed, wearing a frown. Lexa wondered what was going through the six-year old's head. Sam sitting and frowning never seemed to mean anything good.

 

Lexa walked further into the room, sitting down on the bed. They had some time before school because they were closer, they didn't have to rush like before.

 

"What's going on?" Lexa quietly asked.

 

"Am I allowed to like girls the way mommy does?" Sam asked in a small whisper. Lexa stuttered out a breath. Clarke was downstairs getting breakfast ready. Lexa wondered if she should get her for this conversation. Lexa thought maybe she shouldn't and just listen to what Sam had to say. She could fill Clarke in later.  

 

"You are allowed to like whoever you want." Lexa said. She nodded to herself thinking that was a pretty good answer.

 

"But am I allowed to like girls?" Sam asked again with a frown.

 

"Is there a girl you like?" Lexa cringed. Was that too straightforward? Lexa wanted Sam to be able to come to her for whatever she needed. She knows Sam was still young, very young, but Lexa remembered when she knew she liked girls instead of boys. She had been a few years older, but she knew even then.

 

"No," Sam said seriously. Lexa sighed audibly. "I'm just asking."

 

"Are kids at your school saying it's not right?" Lexa asked.

 

"No," Sam said again. "I just wanted to know." She said softly.

 

"You are allowed to like whoever you want, Sam. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. As long as you are happy, it doesn't matter whether it's with a girl or boy." Lexa smiled to herself again. She was pretty good at this.

 

"Okay." Sam said. Her mood switched instantaneous. She was back to her normal, happy self.

 

"Can we go eat?" Sam asked. Lexa nodded as she got up. She scooped Sam up in her arms even though she was getting so big. Sam still loved it and they both giggled as they went downstairs together.

* * *

 

The bar was moving slow today. Lexa leaned against the counters, drumming her hands together, before twirling around in circles. There was hardly anyone here, so she had sent most of her employees home. They would come back tonight for the dinner rush.

 

Lexa and Nyko made sure everything was stocked and ready for tonight as it was expected to be much busier. Nyko went in the back while Lexa checked to make sure they had enough glasses.

 

Lexa looked up in alarm when the doors to her bar burst open. Lexa was having Deja vu. She remembered when the police raided the abandon building her and Roan were hiding the drugs and when the police came busting in Finn's hotel room when he was getting ready to do god knows what with Clarke. Lexa immediately knew this wasn't going to be good.

 

"Put your hands in the air!" One of the policemen yelled. There were still a few customers around, but they all scurried away when the police came.

 

Lexa stood up slowly, just in case they thought she was packing. She wasn't, but she certainly wanted to know what the hell was going. Lexa slowly put her hands in the air. She was afraid to talk, but needed to know what was happening.

 

"What is this about?" Lexa asked loudly. One of the policemen started walking around. He started throwing tables around and looking in the condiments holders.

 

"Are you Lexa Woods?" The other policeman asked.

 

"Y-yes." Lexa stuttered. She cursed herself for doing so. She locked eyes with the policeman. He was tall and Caucasian while the other one was Hispanic. Lexa didn't know what this was about.

 

"We have reason to believe that you've been selling drugs in your bar. We have a warrant for your arrest." The policeman stated casually. Lexa's eyes widened and her face paled. She wasn't going to get mad because that would look bad in the eyes of the law. She tried to stay calm, but her chest was heaving in anticipation of what was going to happen.

 

"Sir, I don't know where you got that information from," Lexa stated calmly. "But you are wrong." She hissed.

 

"Oh, really?" The policeman challenged. "If we are wrong, then you won't mind if I take a look around?" He asked. Lexa gritted her teeth. She was positive they weren't going to find anything. To calm herself down, she went back to this morning with her girls. She remembered making love to Clarke and giving advice to Sam. Lexa just wanted to be with her girls. There was no way there was drugs here. She didn't deal anymore. She hadn't in a long time.

 

Lexa's mind wasn't working right, but she remembered one thing.

 

"Wait, do you have a search warrant?" Lexa said nervously. She would send the officers packing if they didn't. One of the policemen smirked at her as he held up a piece of paper.

 

"Search warrant is right here. May I proceed?" The policeman asked smugly. Lexa sighed, she couldn't send them away. The search warrant was valid that Lexa had no choice, but to cooperate.

 

"Go ahead." Lexa uttered the words that were going to flip her life upside down.

 

Nyko came rushing out of the back and his face paled when he spotted the policemen, searching the bar. They immediately pointed their guns at him.

 

"He works with me!" Lexa all, but shrieked. She glared at the policemen. She didn't care. She would be damned if they shot him. Lexa relaxed when they lowered their weapons.

 

Nyko immediately rushed over to Lexa. He didn't say anything and the two watched as the men continued to completely trash her bar. Lexa clenched her jaw as one of the men walked to the booth in the far corner. He reached under the seats and smirked. Lexa didn't like the look on his face.

 

"What the hell is this?" The policeman shouted. Lexa's eyes widened. There was no way that was hers. Lexa quickly locked eyes with Nyko. He gave her a firm shake of the head, indicating he didn’t know and Lexa believed him.

 

"I don't know!" Lexa said lamely. She had no idea what was going on and was completely blindsided by the whole thing.

 

"We have every reason to believe that you are selling drugs. What the hell does this look like?" The policeman said as he walked over to them. Lexa shook her head as her past was thrusted into her face. It was a bag full of cocaine.

 

"That isn't mine!" Lexa growled.

 

"Then whose is it?" The policeman questioned. This had to be some sick twisted joke. She hadn't dealt since she was in high school. She remembered the two guys that were dealing in her bar, but there was no way they had left any traces of it because Lexa checked and double checked.

 

Lexa was at a loss for words. She wouldn't ruin her future like that. Before, she would have. But now, after seeing Roan, and after making a life for herself with Clarke and Sam, there was no way she would ever jeopardize that.

 

"It's not mine." Lexa repeated, but knew it was a lost cause. Nyko swallowed quickly beside her. Lexa looked at him, silently conveying her message. She wouldn't dare let someone else go down for her mistake, even if this wasn't her mistake. She didn't do this. She didn't put those drugs there. She remembered when Roan got arrested and it was devastating to watch. She remembered how Nia-

 

"No, these aren't mine! I didn't put them there!" Lexa said desperately. "What if I can prove I didn't do it?" She asked.

 

"How are you going to do that?" Lexa had no idea. She didn't even know how Nia got in here or if she did. Maybe she hired someone to do her dirty work. She didn't know how Nia pulled this off but remembered talking to Roan. He had said his mother wasn't going to pull anything and wondered if Roan knew about this. There was no way in hell she was going to jail for this.

 

"What if I can prove they aren't mine and I didn't put them there?" Lexa asked again.

 

"They are still in your bar."

 

"They aren't mine!" Lexa roared. She could feel herself losing her temper, but she wasn't going down for this.

 

"How are you going to prove it?" The policeman squinted his eyes at the two.

 

"The cameras!" Nyko offered quickly. Lexa's eyes widened. She couldn't even think straight and was glad that Nyko was with her.

 

"Yes! The cameras. We have camera all over the place, I can show you it wasn't me." Lexa offered.

 

The policemen looked at each other and then back at Lexa.

 

"Fine." One of them grunted. Lexa immediately rushed to the back.

 

"This way!" Her heart thudded in her chest. She told Clarke she was going to be home at nine tonight and was going to do everything in her power to keep that promise. This had to work. She hoped Nia was dumb enough to do this when the cameras were rolling. If she wasn’t, Lexa was going to scream and put up one hell of a fight. If this was how Nia wanted to play. She was ready.

 

* * *

 

Lexa felt sweat forming on her brow as her and Nyko searched through the footage. She could tell the policemen were getting irritated, but she wasn't going to give up.

 

There was footage of them serving people, people chatting and laughing, people coming and going, but she couldn't find the footage of the drugs being placed. Lexa was starting to panic, but Nyko was beside her searching just as desperately.

 

This incident could bring a bad name to her bar. A bar she worked so hard for. A bar she invested in instead of going to college. She had to make this right. She had to show she was innocent.

 

Lexa was starting to give up because she couldn’t find anything. There was nothing there and they both knew it. They went back three months, and still nothing. Everyone in the room could tell. Lexa sighed as she hung her head.

 

“Where’s that proof of yours?” One of the policeman asked smugly. Lexa tried not to grumble. She knew what was going to happen. This was what was supposed to happen all those years ago. If Roan hadn’t said anything, Lexa would be rotting in prison. Tears pricked her eyes as she looked at Nyko.

 

“Go to Clarke. Tell her what's happening.” Lexa said in an even tone as the cop got out his handcuffs.

 

“Lexa Woods,” He started off in a firm voice. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?”

 

Lexa didn't say anything. She zoned out the cop as he spoke. She had heard this before when Roan was getting arrested.

 

She thought about her girls. Clarke was downtown at her art gallery and Sam was in school. She couldn't believe she was being placed under arrest right now. She couldn't believe karma was coming back to bite her in the ass.

 

“I'm sorry, Lexa. I'll tell Clarke right away.” Nyko said as the police started dragging her out of her bar. She hung her head in shame. There were people walking around and they stopped when they saw what was going on. Lexa couldn’t make eye contact with anyone.

* * *

 

Lexa was in a hold cell waiting for her phone call. She needed to talk to Clarke. She needed to get her lawyer down here to prove her innocence.

 

Lexa sighed in relief when the guard told her she could have her free phone call.

 

She immediately got up and rushed over to the phone. She dialed Clarke's number and almost cried when she heard her raspy voice.

 

“Hello? Who is-”

 

“I've been arrested!” Lexa shrieked into the phone. Lexa heard Clarke gasp loudly.

 

“Lexa?! You've been what?! Arrested?! How? When? Why?” Clarke fired off the questions.

 

“I'm in a holding cell for now. Clarke, I need you to get down here with my lawyer. Please, baby.” Lexa begged desperately. She didn't want to spend another second in this place. She needed to get out and not be locked up like an animal.

 

“Of course. I'm on my way!” Clarke cried. “I'm coming with your lawyer. Hang in there, babe. I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

The line went dead after that. Lexa sighed as she was pulled towards her holding cell again.

* * *

 

An hour or so had passed, before she saw Clarke. Lexa immediately got up, but couldn’t go anywhere with the bars in front of her.

 

“Clarke!” Lexa called. Clarke immediately looked up. The blonde was getting ready to walk over to her when a guard stopped her. Lexa grumbled, but sighed happily when she spotted her lawyer.

 

Her cell was opened and all Lexa could do was look at Clarke, before she was dragged into a room with a detective and her lawyer. Lexa was glad it was a detective this time and not a cop.

 

“What happened?” Her lawyer, Sarah Hence, asked.

 

“I was framed!” Lexa said angrily.

 

“Calm down, ma’am.” The detective said as he sat down in front of her.

 

“I can prove it.”

 

“I talked to the two cops that brought you in. You can't prove this.”

 

“Now, wait a minute,” Sarah held up her hand. “You don't know that. If my client can prove that she was framed. You ought to let her try.”

 

Lexa looked at the detective with wide eyes. Lexa tried not to smirk when he let out a breath.

 

“How do you think you can prove this?”

 

“Nia. Also known as the Ice Queen. She set this up. She planted those drugs in my bar to get back at me. It's my fault her son is in jail.” Lexa explained.

 

The detective sat back, but nodded. “How do you suggest we go about this?”

 

“I can wear a wire. I can get her to confess. We have a lot of history. I'm sure if I talk to her without anyone else around, maybe at my bar, she would gloat and confess. I know she will.” Lexa knew she sounded desperate, but she had to sell this. She had to make sure she gets out of here. She would be damned if Sam had to visit her in here.

 

“And if it doesn't work?” The cop asked.

 

“Then I will serve my sentence, however long it will be.” Lexa knew what she was saying was a huge risk, but she had faith. She thought she could rely on the cameras but that didn't turn out well. She had faith in this though. She hadn't seen the woman in years. She knew the conversation they were going to have was going to be full of emotions, on both ends. She could and would get Nia to confess to this.

 

“You're confident.” The detective grunted.

 

“I was framed.” Lexa shrugged casually.

 

“Tomorrow. We’ll get Nia down to your bar. We’ll come get you and you better count your blessings and hope this works or else you're staying here.”

 

Lexa couldn't help, but swallow thickly at that. There was a lot on the line. Lexa knew she wouldn't make it home for her nine o'clock dinner. She wouldn't be able to kiss Sam goodnight or share a glass of wine with Clarke. She was staying in her cold, nasty cell until tomorrow morning.

 

She wouldn't break down about it now (Later on, she might have let a few tears slip).

 

“My client is telling the truth!” Sarah insisted. The detective grunted in her direction and got up.

 

“We will see,” The detective said. “Guard!”

 

Lexa knew that meant she was going back to her holding cell. She got a glimpse of Clarke, whose eyes were red. Lexa felt awful. She just wanted to hug her girlfriend, but she knew she wouldn't be able to. Clarke offered her a single wave before she left with her lawyer. Lexa sighed as she walked back into her cell.

 

When she heard the gate close, something ignited in Lexa.

 

She couldn't believe she didn't see this coming. Nia was playing with fire.

 

And she was going to get burned.


	30. Chapter 30

As promised, Lexa was let go, so she could prove that she was set up.

 

Detective Benson handed Lexa her phone telling her that she needed to call Nia so they could put their plan to work.

  
  
Lexa looked at him warily before dialing her number.

  
  
After a very heated conversation with Nia, she finally agreed to meet at the bar.

  
  
Lexa was on edge the entire phone call. She kept clenching her jaw while pacing around the precinct.

 

Her blood ran cold knowing that she was finally coming face to face with her past.

 

Lexa missed Clarke and Sam. She’d dreamt about them all night. Lexa couldn’t help but wonder what Clarke had told Sam when she didn’t come home. She felt terrible leaving her girls hanging like this. She swore once she was cleared, she would never step foot in a jail again. She would do everything in her power to make sure it that it wouldn’t happen.

 

Lexa was escorted to a car with Detective Benson from last night and her lawyer, Sarah. Her heart was pounding in her chest knowing who she had to confront, Nia, the woman who almost destroyed her. Lexa was still surprised that she agreed to meet. She knew the woman had to have ulterior motives.

 

It had a long time coming, but Lexa was finally ready. She wanted to put this behind her.

 

Everyone was quiet as Lexa got her wire taped to her chest. Lexa didn't allow herself to be nervous, she couldn’t appear to look weak. She needed to be focused right now, she couldn’t afford not to be. She needed this to finally get some long overdue closure.

  
  
Lexa gritted her teeth, when she heard the door open and seeing her walk in her bar. Lexa had her arms crossed, and was resting against the counter. Her heart was pounding out of her chest, but she did her best to appear relaxed. Nia had her brown hair up in an elegant bun and was wearing a black dress. The dress fit her, Lexa thought, with her black heart.  

 

Nia didn't say anything to her, sitting down in the corner booth. The one the cop coincidentally found the drugs. Lexa gritted her teeth again before speaking.

 

"Hello," Lexa said evenly. "I'm surprised you even agreed to come."

 

  
"It's been a long time coming." The older woman said casually. It was clear Nia wasn't going to get up, clearly expecting Lexa to walk over.

 

"You've got a lot of nerve," Lexa snapped, heading towards her and sitting down opposite her. "To come in my bar trying to frame me."

 

Lexa was pissed. She knew she need to calm down, but the sight of her brought back memories she’d fought so hard to forget. She took a deep breath and decided she had to get under her skin first for this to work.

 

"I don't know what you are talking about." Nia countered smugly.

 

Lexa leaned against the back of the booth looking her over. She had bags under her eyes, wrinkles coating her face, and looked exhausted. Lexa was going to use that to her advantage.

 

"I think you do," Lexa said coolly. "You should just give up the pretense."

 

"I don't know what you’re talking about." Nia said in a dangerously low voice, but Lexa wasn't scared.

 

"Just like you didn't know where Costia went." Lexa retorted. Lexa almost growled seeing the smirk on Nia's face.

 

"That wasn't my doing."

 

Lexa laughed. She let out a full blown chuckle before glaring at the woman.

 

"You went to the girl I loved and sent her away." Lexa's voice shook with every word, but she held it together.

 

"I didn't do anything," Nia shrugged. "I offered her money. It’s not my fault she was a gold digging whore willing to take the money and run."

 

Lexa clenched her fists looking at the older women. She wondered how someone could be so _cold_.

 

"You should've minded your own business."

 

"My son is in jail!" Nia roared, but stayed where she was. Lexa needed to play her cards right. She needed Nia to admit it.

 

"Roan going to jail had nothing to do with me. He would be out by now if he hadn’t been stupid enough to sell while in  jail." Lexa said smoothly. Lexa smirked hearing Nia grit her teeth together.

 

"This was a terrible idea. Why did I even agree to this?" Nia asked rhetorically. Lexa wanted to know why as well. It was the worst idea she'd ever had, to be sitting across from the woman who almost ruined her life.

 

She knew she needed to bide her time and not let Nia bait her, she needed to keep her cool and get her to confess.

 

Lexa didn't have her phone on her, but before coming in she’d asked if she could have the picture of Clarke and Sam she kept in her wallet. She slid that picture out of her pocket and showed it to Nia. Nia took it tentatively, like Lexa had something up her sleeve. She did. She was desperate and wanted Nia to know exactly what she could lose.

 

"The little girl is Sam. She's my girlfriend's daughter. Her father is in jail because he tried to rape my girlfriend. I won't go to jail for something I didn't do. That little girl has been through so much already and I refuse to let you take that away from me. You took Costia away from me, but I will not let you take them away too."

 

Nia looked at Lexa with something almost resembling sympathy. Lexa wasn't sure if she liked the look or not.

 

"Well," Nia took a dramatic pause. "Why the hell are you dealing when you have these two who count on you?"

 

Lexa slammed her hands down on the table in frustration.

 

"You and I both know it wasn't me!" Lexa yelled.

 

"I didn't plant those drugs in here. I didn't do this, Lexa." Nia said her name with venom laced in her voice.

 

"You’re lying! You are and I will prove it! Why are you doing this?" Lexa shook her head. She wanted to leave because she was getting nowhere and was losing her temper. They just continued to go around in circles.

 

Finally, she seemed to have cracked the calm demeanor and words came spewing out of Nia’s mouth.

 

"I'm doing this because you deserved to be locked up. You’re a nasty drug addict who doesn't deserve to walk the streets while my son rots in prison."

 

Lexa allowed Nia to let it all out, trying not to smile in victory. She could see that the Ice Queen side of her was finally coming out. She would keeping pushing, because Nia was finally walking into her trap.

 

"Your son was a drug addict too," Lexa shrugged with a smirk. "Hell, he was even dealing in jail. So, you admit you did this?"

 

Nia's face was stone cold.

 

"Doing what, Nia?" Lexa pressed. Nia didn't say anything. She huffed out a breath before getting up.

 

"I don't need this."

 

"Admit you put the drugs here!" Lexa exclaimed. "Admit that you tried to frame me, just so you can see me put in jail. Admit you put the same type of drug I used before in this very booth and wiped the footage off my camera so you wouldn’t be caught. Admit it, bitch, because you aren't walking away until you do."

 

Lexa stood up too taking dangerous steps towards Nia.

 

"My son won't ever be able to live his life."

 

"That's his fault not mine!"

 

Lexa was done feeling sorry for Roan. He made his own choices, it was no longer her fault.

 

"You’re a worthless piece of shit. You will never amount to anything. The only thing you have going for you is this stupid bar. You're the one that deserves to rot in prison, not my son. I figured this would be the way it should happen like it should have happened before. Of course I put the drugs there. I won't stop until you go down."

 

Lexa grinned much to Nia's confusion before backing away suddenly. She saw cops swarming in along with Detective Benson. Nia's eyes widened in recognition before trying to lunge for Lexa. Lexa stepped out of the way just in time. She went crashing into a table.

 

"You will pay for this, you stupid bitch!" Lexa laughed at her because now she was the one in handcuffs, not her. Lexa didn't know where Nia got the drugs and didn't care. She wanted her in jail and soon she would be. She wanted this over.

 

"You better watch your back!" Nia yelled out as a cop read the Miranda rights to her.

 

"No, Nia," Lexa corrected her. "I think that's you."

 

Lexa laughed again at the glare Nia threw her way. She’d finally gotten rid of her after all this time. The woman who ruined her first relationship. It still stung, but Lexa held her head high. She wouldn't allow herself to think about Costia. She was nothing more than a distant memory now. She had moved on and was happier than she’d ever been, even with Costia.

 

“Nice work. Looks like you aren't going to jail.” The cop said over his shoulder. Lexa's lawyer, Sarah brought her in for an excited hug as the detective nodded to her. Lexa nodded back before hugging back in excitement.

 

Lexa smiled because she was free. She just needed to down to the station to get her stuff first. She would call Clarke and then they would pick Sam up early from school. She needed her girls right now.

 

She was glad that this worked out in her favor. She was happy she’d succeeded, she didn’t want to think of the alternative, instead basking in her win. Now, Lexa can forget about this whole mess. She would forget about Nia and Roan because she wasn’t going to have anything to do with them ever again. They were in her past where they belonged. She had a future she was looking forward too.

 

After Lexa got her stuff and stepped out of the station, she felt free. She felt like the whole world wasn't on her shoulders. She didn't feel like she was being dragged down anymore. Nia, Finn and Roan were in jail where they belong. Nothing else was standing in her way. She left the station leaving her past behind.

 

She smiled, heading to the art gallery. She needed Clarke.

* * *

  
"When do you think you'll be able to see her?" Lexa heard talking when she opened the door to Clarke's gallery. She knew she only had a second before it-

 

_Ding_

 

Lexa saw Clarke pop her head up, effectively stopping her conversation with Raven. Clarke let out a squeal of excitement seeing that it was her girlfriend.

 

"Lexa!" Clarke jumped up and took off at a full sprint towards her.

 

Lexa held her arms out catching her girlfriend with ease. Clarke leaned down connecting their lips together. They shared a few chaste kisses before Raven cleared her throat.

 

"Okay, my turn." Raven teased making kissing noises towards Lexa. They all giggled as Raven pulled Lexa in for a tight hug.

 

"Is Anya at work?" Lexa asked.

 

Raven nodded, "Call her though. She will be happy to hear from you."

 

Lexa called Anya as Clarke worked. She knew she couldn't stay here all day while her girlfriend was working, but stayed as long as she could. She was going to meet Anya for lunch before going to pick up Sam. Clarke promised she would do her best to get off work early to spend time together.

 

"You’re so getting lucky tonight." Clarke husked between kisses. Lexa smiled humming into the kiss.

 

"So, so lucky. After Sam goes to bed, that ass is mine." Lexa couldn't help letting out a little moan. She had missed Clarke's touch, even if it was only for a night. She couldn't wait for what Clarke had in store.

 

"I'll be holding you to that." Lexa said. Clarke giggled as Lexa pulled away from her.

 

"Don't worry." Clarke said slyly over her shoulder.

 

"See you soon, Clarke. I love you."

 

"I love you, too."

* * *

  
"I'm so sorry all this happened to you.” Anya said with a frown after listening to Lexa explained what transpired over the last twenty-four hours.

 

"It's okay," Lexa said with a little smile. She was enjoying her time here with her sister, but couldn't wait to see Sam. "It's all over now. That chapter of my life is finally closed. Now I get eat to some real food." Lexa said as she picked her chicken sandwich up.

 

Anya smirked over to her sister, "We should have a family dinner soon."

 

Lexa took a sip of her water before answering, "You know Abby would love that." Lexa said with a smile.

 

"We could invite the parentals." Anya waved her hand in agreement. Lexa couldn't think of anything better.

 

"We could have it at our house." Lexa offered. Anya sat back in her chair watching her sister.

 

"Well look at my sister, being all grown up. Still can't believe you have a house and family before me." Anya said.

 

"Sisters not by blood, but by heart." That was something they often said to each other when they first got adopted with each other. They never meant it offensively. They didn't have the same blood running through them, but they had never mattered to them.

 

"Sisters by heart, not by blood. I love you, Lexa." Anya said honestly. She was proud of the woman sitting before her.

 

"I love you, too," Lexa said sweetly. "I'll call Abby tonight. I'm sure she would love to hear about this."

 

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

  
Lexa was practically skipping up to Sam's school. Clarke had called the school to let them know her daughter was being picked up early. Lexa got out of the car rushing to the entrance. She walked inside smiling wide spotting Sam waiting for her.

 

"Squirt!" Lexa said happily. Sam was looking down when she heard the familiar voice.

 

"Lexa!" Sam squealed and took off running towards Lexa.

 

Lexa could've cried of happiness. All of this could've been taken away from her, but thank god, it wasn’t and she was still here.

 

"Where were you last night?" Sam asked with a pout. Lexa kissed her cheek repeatedly as they made their way outside.

 

"I had some work to do, Squirt. Sorry you didn't get to see me, but we can spend all afternoon and evening together to make up for it. First though, we need to call Grammy." Lexa said opening the door for Sam. Lexa hopped in the car before pulling her phone out. Sam buckled herself in and waited as Lexa dialed Abby's number. She put it on speaker.

 

"Lexa! Thank god-"

 

"Before you say anymore. I have Sam with me." Lexa quickly cut Abby off. The older woman made a sound of acknowledgement.

 

"Hello, sweet pea." Abby said instead.

 

"Hi, Grammy." Sam said happily.

 

"Anya and I had lunch today after I had to work all night," Lexa said so Abby knew what the story was. Abby clicked her tongue and hummed. "We were wondering if you would be down for a family dinner this weekend at our house?" Lexa asked. Abby squealed excitedly, sounding much like Sam and Clarke when they were happy.

 

"I would love too! Of course! I'll bring everything to your house and I’ll cook too. I'm glad you’re alright, Lexa." Abby said honestly. Lexa smiled, because she was too.

 

"Me too," Lexa sighed. "Alright, I'll see you then." Lexa said. Abby said bye to both of them, before she hung up.

 

Lexa was more than alright. She had Sam singing the backseat of her new car and when she got home, she knew Clarke wouldn’t be far behind. She really couldn’t ask for anything more. She had everything she needed and with Nia in jail, everything was great.

 

So yes, Lexa was definitely alright.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few time jumps occur

Lexa held the door open for Abby who was carrying multiple grocery bags. Lexa quickly grabbed a few to help.

 

"Thanks, sweetie." Abby replied slightly out of breath from trying to carry everything. Lexa hummed, letting out a small chuckle.

 

"Hey, mom." Clarke gushed, seeing her mother walk in the kitchen.

 

"I could use some help." Abby said to her husband.

 

"Lexa seems to have it all under control." Jake teased.

 

Abby rolled her eyes at him while placing the bags on the counter. Abby and Clarke quickly got to work preparing dinner for everyone.

 

All their family and friends were here, spread throughout the house. Sam was out back with Charlie and Jasper. Anya and Raven were leaning against the wall, talking animatedly to each other. Monty was talking with Lexa's parents and Octavia and Lincoln were watching TV.

 

 

"Want a water?" Lexa asked Clarke. She was standing back watching, knowing her help wasn’t needed.

 

  
"I'm okay for now. Thanks for asking." Clarke replied with a smile.

 

"Of course." Lexa said softly. Neither noticed Abby watching them with a warm smile.

 

"I always liked you better than him." Abby muttered, chopping the vegetables.

 

"Mom!" Clarke screeched.

 

"What? Do you want me to say his name?" Abby asked.

 

"No." Clarke sighed.

 

"It's true. We always liked Lexa better. We tolerated Finn because you loved him, but we never thought he was the one for you." Jake spoke up from his spot. Lexa flushed red, embarrassed at hearing the compliments.

 

"Well, I'm glad because I love your daughter." Lexa said honestly. Clarke looked at her with a lopsided smile as Clarke's parents gushed.

 

"Would you two ever get married?" Abby asked out of curiosity.

 

Lexa's eyes widened as Clarke threw a glare at her mom.

 

 

"We haven't really talked about that." Lexa squeaked.

 

Jake was laughing at the whole thing.

 

Clarke was glad her friends were spread out all through the house. She knew this would be a good time to share the news.

 

She looked at Lexa and they locked eyes. Lexa nodded.

 

"Actually, we've been thinking of getting pregnant." Clarke informed her parents.

 

 

"Really?" Abby asked in disbelief.

 

Lexa nodded happily, "We want to and I would be carrying it."

 

"Oh, my god!" Abby exclaimed. "That would be amazing. Well, you know you have our blessing."

 

"Yeah, you do." Jake said. Lexa thought he was joking, but after looking at him, she knew he was being serious.

 

A couple days after the whole Nia incident, Lexa was hoping to have the family dinner that weekend, but it was harder than she thought trying to plan it with everyone being so busy. They had finally managed to find a day that worked for everyone, it was a nice Saturday evening in the beginning of June.

 

When Lexa thought of the possibility of being pregnant, it made her happy. To know in a couple months that she could possibly be, brought a smile to her face every time she thought about it. She had already told Indra about it who was delighted at the news. She cried tears of joy, praying that her daughter could get pregnant.

 

The conversation dropped for the time being, Clarke and Abby went back to cooking. Lexa stood back watching Clarke move around the kitchen. She couldn’t get enough of her.

 

It wasn't long before Clarke took a break, and needed that bottle of water. Lexa handed it to her with a small smile. She thought about leaning in to give her a kiss, but decided against it.

 

Clarke threw her a look before leaning in. Lexa put a hand on her hip, holding her in place.

  
  
"Why won't you kiss me?" Clarke pouted.

 

Lexa flicked her eyes to Clarke's parents before locking with hers.

  
  
"Because." Lexa grunted.

  
  
When Lexa didn't elaborate, Clarke grumbled.

  
  
"Of?"

 

Lexa was aware they were catching the attention of their friends, and most embarrassingly, her mom. She was glad her father was in the bathroom. Lexa flushed under their gazes.

  
  
"Nothing." Lexa said weakly. She was about to walk away, but Clarke gently held her in place.

 

"Of?" Clarke pressed.

  
  
"I just don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I know everyone is still adjusting. Five years was a long time to be with someone, and plus my mom is here." Lexa muttered, but Clarke's parents heard her.

 

"Oh, honey," Abby sighed. "We don't care if you guys want to smooch."

 

“Yeah!” Indra stepped in. “Lay one on her!”

 

Lexa frowned, letting out a small chuckle at their overwhelming permission.

  
  
"Oh," Lexa nodded her head dumbly. "Okay."

  
  
"See," Clarke deadpanned. "They don't care. Now kiss me." She demanded softly.

  
  
Lexa still felt weird with everyone staring at her, but couldn’t deny Clarke when her lips were puckered and waiting.

  
  
Lexa leaned down, connecting her lips with Clarke's. Clarke wrapped her arms around her neck, pulling her in.

 

  
Lexa was getting ready to slip her tongue in Clarke's mouth, when Jake cleared his throat loudly.

  
  
"Abby said smooch, not suck face!" Jake exclaimed.

 

  
Lexa blushed, noticing everyone still watching them.

  
  
"Alright, show's over!" Clarke called, a smile on her face the whole time.

 

Lexa stayed by Clarke's side the whole night, trading kisses whenever she could, because she felt at ease and comfortable.

  
  
Clarke's parents, and even their friends would smile at them every time.

 

  
Lexa was reveling in the fact that they no longer had to hide and finally after three years, Lexa felt free to be with Clarke. She held Clarke's hand all through dinner, smiling the entire time and it didn't go unnoticed by their company.

 

"Are you happy to be living with Lexa?" Abby asked her granddaughter.

  
  
Sam smiled a happy, toothless smile at her.

  
  
"Yes!" Sam said, before scrunching her face up. "Even though they kiss a lot." She added, making the whole table burst into laughter.

 

"Well I, for one, am extremely excited that my daughter has found you. You definitely have my blessing!" Indra said, raising her glass in the air.

  
  
"Mine too!" Gustus stepped in.

 

“Thank you because I love your daughter very much.” Clarke repeated Lexa's previous words, sealing it with a kiss on her cheek.

 

Everyone cooed around the table, and dinner went smoothly after that.

* * *

 

Clarke sighed happily when Lexa handed her over a glass of wine. Lexa sat down in the lawn chair beside Clarke, watching Sam run around with Charlie. Even though the sun was going down, it was still a humid evening in August.

 

Lexa held her glass up, waiting for Clarke to clink it against hers. Clarke gladly did it, as her divorce was finalized this morning, finally.

 

Lexa leaned in, placing a kiss to her mouth.

 

“This might be a bad time, but do you think we could call when we go inside?”

 

It was all they’d been talking about this summer, even Clarke's parents. They were more than ready to start this process, and had just been waiting to call until Clarke's divorce to finalized.

 

“Of course. It's never a bad time babe. I'm just happy we waited until I was divorced.” Clarke smiled at her girlfriend.

 

“I'm nervous. What was it like?” Lexa asked, sipping her wine.

 

“Well, for starters, you can't drink,” Clarke smirked. Lexa frowned deeply. “But it was okay. A lot of mood swings and late night cravings, at least for me.” She answered.

 

“I’m going to miss drinking, seeing as I own a bar.” Lexa said.

 

“It goes by pretty slow. All you want to do is meet whoever is growing inside. I hope it's a boy.”

 

“Clarke,” Lexa chuckled out. “I'm not pregnant yet.”

 

“I know, but still. I know it would be your first girl which would be nice, but a boy would be a nice change of pace.” Clarke said with a tiny smile.

 

“Only time will tell.” Lexa said. Sam was laughing while running in circles with Charlie. She had spent a lot of time with her over the summer, and loved it.

 

Clarke was busy with the hassle of her art gallery, but always made sure to have time for her girls. She watched her daughter have fun with a lazy smile on her face.

 

“It's amazing how much has changed.” Lexa murmured, looking over to see Clarke watching Sam.

 

“It is,” Clarke said, locking eyes with her. “From cheating, to your car accident, to my almost rape, to our first date, to you almost going to jail. To a lot of things," Clarke took a deep breath, sharing a knowing look with Lexa. "A lot has changed and I'm more than ready to start the next chapter of my life with you.”

 

“Come here,” Lexa motioned, pulling Clarke in for a passionate kiss. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

“Lexa! Come play with me!” Sam called. Lexa smiled, handing her glass over to Clarke. Lexa stumbled a little bit, before regaining herself and started running around with Sam and Charlie.

 

Clarke watched with a fond smile. Words couldn't describe how free she felt right now, watching the woman she was in love with play with her daughter.

* * *

 

Once they were inside, and Sam was down for the night. They called their OBGYN doctor.

 

Clarke had a death grip on Lexa's hand as they were sitting side by side on their bed.

 

Lexa was on the phone with their doctor scheduling her insemination, and Clarke was nervous, this would be a big step in their relationship, but was excited to start this new chapter.

  
  
With every word Lexa uttered, her smile grew.

  
  
And when Lexa told the doctor she couldn't wait to come in in a few weeks, Clarke let a few happy tears out.

 

"It's schedule for August 20th." Lexa informed her. Clarke smiled, leaning in to kiss Lexa.

  
  
"How nervous?" Clarke asked knowingly.

 

"Terrified, but ready." Lexa answered.

* * *

 

The day had finally arrived. It was the day of Lexa's scheduled insemination. Clarke was nervous for the process, and the outcome, but provided great moral support to Lexa.

 

Clarke stood back respectfully, a little jealous of the doctor that was in between Lexa's legs.

 

"Alright, you're going to feel a little pinch." Dr. Freeman informed Lexa. Lexa looked down and nodded. She scrunched her face up when she was injected with the sperm.

  
  
Dr. Freeman told them to stay put in order for the procedure to work. Lexa gripped Clarke's hand in hers, her palms sweaty.

 

Lexa kept her eyes locked with Clarke until it was time for them to leave. Lexa felt weird, but happy knowing she could possibly be pregnant. She just hoped it worked.

 

"Let’s go take a pregnancy test!" Lexa said cheerily.

  
  
"Babe," Clarke chuckled, unlocking the car. "We need to wait at least two to three weeks if you want the best results. The doctor said so himself. We have to wait."

  
  
Lexa groaned loudly, pouting.

 

“Fine.” She grumbled, getting in the car.

* * *

 

Lexa was impatient for the next couple of weeks. One would even say annoying, according to Clarke.

 

Clarke wanted to give in to Lexa, but knew it wouldn't be a good idea. They needed to wait, but was glad when they were able to finally take the test. She wanted to know too.

  
  
Sam was in bed asleep, as school started back up tomorrow. The summer had went by fast, but it had been fantastic for all three of them.

 

Lexa jumped happily all around the room when Clarke handed over a pregnancy test, before bouncing into the bathroom.

  
  
Lexa came back a few minutes later, with the timer in her hands.

 

  
"Now, we wait!" Lexa said happily. Clarke watched in amusement as Lexa couldn't keep still.

 

Clarke proved to be the perfect support system for Lexa. Lexa knew she wouldn't have been able to do this without her.

 

Clarke finally got Lexa to sit down beside her. She rested her head on Lexa's shoulder, thinking of what it would be like to have another little one running around the house.

 

Clarke jumped up when the timer went off. She waited with bated breath while Lexa went to the bathroom.

  
  
_This was it_

 

Lexa came out of the bathroom and Clarke knew the answer seeing Lexa hang her head in shame. Clarke felt like her heart shattered in her chest. Lexa had tears streaming down her face.

  
  
"It's negative." Lexa muttered sadly.

 

"Oh, baby," Clarke mumbled. "I'm so sorry."

 

Lexa showed Clarke the pregnancy test before throwing it away.

  
  
"We could take another one." Clarke offered with a hopeful smile.

  
  
That turned out not to be a good idea.

  
  
Lexa burst into tears when she took the second one. It was negative too. Clarke sighed deeply.

  
  
"We can schedule another appointment." Clarke said, holding Lexa.

   
  
"I was sure it was going to be positive." Lexa cried.

  
  
"It's okay, baby," Clarke cooed. "We can schedule another appointment. We can try again."

 

Clarke was sure that they would be celebrating right now, she hadn’t expected the pregnancy test to come back negative.

  
  
Lexa cried the entire night. It took a toll on Clarke because she had no idea what to do. She held her tightly, whispering reassurances hoping that it was enough.

 

Lexa buried herself in Clarke's neck, holding on. She felt like the whole world was crushing down on her. The only thing that kept her going were her girls and the fact that they could try again. It still hurt, but knowing no matter what, she still had Clarke and Sam, helped her get through it.

 

It wasn't long before they both fell asleep.


	32. Chapter 32

It was a couple weeks into the new school year. Clarke and Lexa cried on Sam’s first day of second grade. They had both blamed it on their allergies, but knew the real reason. Sam was finally a second grader.

  
  
They had spent the summer together, and were going to miss her tremendously through the day, but It was appreciated with the workload of their jobs.

 

Sam was all smiles when she spotted some of her friends at the entrance.

  
  
"Bye, mom! Bye, Lexa!" Sam said happily. "I love you!"

  
  
"We love you too, Sam." Clarke said, discreetly trying to wipe her tears away.

  
  
"Come on." Lexa muttered, with tears in her eyes too.

  
  
They walked hand in hand to their car.

 

  
They already scheduled and had their second appointment for the insemination. They were planning to take a pregnancy test since it’d been a couple weeks.

 

Lexa was nervous for tonight. She had no idea how she was going to make it through the day. She kissed Clarke long and hard when they arrived at the bar.

  
  
"Think happy thoughts." Clarke said.

  
  
"I'll try."

  
  
"Try not to think about it. We'll find out tonight." Clarke said, pulling her in for another passionate kiss.

  
  
"Okay." Lexa said with a hint of a smile.

 

Even after the drug incident, her bar was still doing well, which Lexa was grateful for.

 

"I love you."

  
  
"I love you, too."

* * *

 

Looking up at her house, Lexa saw the lights on and knew her girls were waiting for her. She had to work late, but was eager to get inside to greet them.

 

Tonight they could finally take another pregnancy test and Lexa couldn't wait. She rushed inside, kissing Sam on the cheek and kissing Clarke on the lips.

 

Pizza was baking in the oven which smelled fantastic.

  
  
"Mommy! Mommy! I can read this!" Sam exclaimed, rushing into the kitchen.

  
  
The two girls broke away from each other, looking at Sam.

  
  
Sam held up a piece of paper, and they watched in awe as Sam read it out loud.

  
  
"My cat's name is Tommy." Sam squealed out. Clarke's eyes widened, kneeling to the floor.

  
  
"That's exactly what it says! Good job, baby."

  
  
"Yeah, great job. Squirt!"

 

They celebrated for a few more minutes, before the timer went off. They gathered around the table to eat.

 

Sam babbled about the new adventures that the second grade had to offer, Clarke and Lexa shared warm smiles with her the entire time.

* * *

 

"Maybe we can wait." Lexa said, walking up the stairs.

  
  
"You can't be serious." Clarke deadpanned.

  
  
"Well," Lexa drawled out. "I can't handle another negative test."

  
  
"You won't know until you take it." Clarke whispered, passing Sam's room. She was down for the night.

 

"You're right." Lexa sighed defeated. They closed their door before Clarke handed Lexa over a test.

  
  
"Good luck." Clarke said with an encouraging smile.

  
  
Clarke paced around the room while Lexa went into the bathroom. She felt like this could be the one. She was more than ready for Lexa to be pregnant. She couldn't wait to have another baby.

  
  
Lexa walked out a few seconds later, with the timer in her hand. Clarke hoped for the sake of Lexa, that the test was positive. She had been down about it, but pretended to be in a good mood.

 

Clarke pulled Lexa in for a hug until they heard the timer go off.

  
  
"Can you go check it?" Lexa asked. Clarke nodded with a small smile.

  
  
She came back a few minutes later, eyes wide with a crooked smile.

 

"Looks like you're gonna be my baby mama." Clarke said, not believing the words that came out her mouth.

  
  
Lexa had her eyes squeezed shut and they flew open at that.

  
  
"I'm gonna be- I'm- wait. I'm pregnant?!"

 

"It's positive," Clarke said, holding the test out for her. "We can take another one tomorrow morning to confirm and then make a doctor's appointment."

  
  
Lexa nodded because she trusted Clarke knew what she was doing.

  
  
"I'm pregnant?" Lexa asked again.

 

“Yes, baby! You are!” Clarke squealed bringing Lexa in for a kiss. Lexa fumbled against Clarke's lips, not quite believing she was actually pregnant.

 

“I'm pregnant!” Lexa yelled, before Clarke immediately shushed her.

 

“Sam is sleep.” Clarke chastised her.

 

“Oh, right,” Lexa giggled. “Sorry. Sorry.”

 

“Come here.” Clarke said lowly, bringing Lexa in for a deep kiss.

 

Lexa slipped her tongue in Clarke's mouth, before pulling away.

 

“We’re going to have a baby together.” Lexa squealed.

 

“We are!”

 

They celebrated quietly for the whole night.

* * *

 

They took another pregnancy test first thing in the morning while Sam got ready for school.

 

Lexa cried happy tears, rushing out of the bathroom and showing Clarke.

  
  
"Can we tell Sam? We have time." Lexa said happily.

  
  
"Are you sure you want to do that now?" Clarke asked.

  
  
"Unless you don't want to." Lexa said slowly.

  
  
"'No!" Clarke raised her voice, before clearing it. "No. I do, but if we schedule an appointment and something goes wrong..."

  
  
"I've wanted this for the longest time and we can wait if you want. But I would like to tell her. I don't want to wait."

  
  
"Then we don't have to." Clarke reassured her with a grin.

  
  
"Let's go!"

 

Sam had just finished getting ready. She was about to come out her room when she saw her mom approaching her.

  
  
"Hi, mommy! Hi, Lexa! I'm all dressed." Sam said cheerfully.

  
  
"Hey, sweetie. Mommy and Lexa have some news." Clarke said with a happy smile, trying to ease the fear that was etched on her daughter's face.

  
  
"What is it?"

  
  
"Let's go sit down." Clarke said, picking Sam up and heading to their room.

  
  
"What's going on?" Sam asked curiously.

  
  
"I'm pregnant!" Lexa squealed.

  
  
"Babe! I thought we were going to ease into it!" Clarke chided.

  
  
"Oh," Lexa's smile dropped. "Sorry?"

 

  
"Lexa's going to have a baby. You're going to have a baby brother or sister." Clarke explained softly to Sam.

 

Sam frowned up at them, "You have a baby in your stomach?" She asked Lexa.

  
  
"Well, it's probably the size of a peanut but yeah." Lexa responded.

  
  
"I'm going to have a baby brother or sister?" Sam asked excitedly.

  
  
"If all goes well, yes." Clarke answered.

  
  
Sam squealed in excitement, before frowning curiously.

 

"Mommy," Sam said. "Where do babies come from?" She asked.

  
  
Lexa's eyes widened as Clarke's spluttered.

  
  
"Oh, wow," Lexa said, looking at the imaginary watch on her wrist. "I have to go eat food that your mother hasn't made yet." She said, dashing out the room.

  
  
Clarke called for her desperately, but to no avail. Clarke looked back down at Sam's big brown eyes.

  
  
"Why don't you ask me that when you're way older? Like my age." Clarke said, leaving no room for arguments. She stood up, grabbing Sam's hand.

  
  
"Okay," Sam said slowly. "I'll ask when I'm older." She promised.

  
  
Clarke sighed in relief, rushing downstairs with her daughter in tow.

  
  
"Thanks for leaving me hanging." Clarke mattered, getting pancake ingredients out.

 

"I'm sorry," Lexa sighed. "I realized that maybe I shouldn't have done that, but she really caught me off guard and she's extremely smart and-"

  
  
"Relax, Lexa. It's okay. I didn't tell her." Clarke said quietly, watching her daughter sit down at the table.

 

"What did you say?"

  
  
"Ask me when she's my age." Clarke said. Lexa chuckled at her.

  
  
"She's never allowed to date." Lexa said seriously.

  
  
"Oh," Clarke said. "I'm with you there."

  
  
"But she can date whoever she wants." Lexa said.

  
  
"Agreed." Clarke said, cooking breakfast for her girls, happy smiles on all their faces despite what just happened.

* * *

 

Lexa sighed when she sunk into the hot tub. The steaming water sunk into her bones, relaxing her.

  
  
Clarke was next to her, with two wine glasses because the brunette claimed she needed to drink two for the both of them. Clarke was more than fine with it.

  
  
Sam was upstairs sleeping for the night. Clarke brought down the baby monitor so they could keep an eye on her.

  
  
It had been a couple weeks since they found out Lexa was pregnant. The doctor had confirmed it and Lexa had that pregnant glow that Clarke loved seeing.

 

"Drink for me." Lexa said, gesturing to the wine glasses behind Clarke.

  
  
Clarke chuckled picking the glass up and taking a sip.

  
  
"How is it? Is it good?" Lexa asked eagerly.

  
  
"Yes, baby. It's wine. It taste like it always does." Clarke answered rolling her eyes.

 

"I don't know how I'll survive nine whole months without it." Lexa pouted.

  
  
"I'm sure you'll live." Clarke giggled.

  
  
They fell into comfortable silence after that. Clarke took sips of wine occasionally. Lexa rested against Clarke who sighed.

  
  
"Everything okay?" Lexa asked.

  
  
"It's perfect. The stars are out. Our daughter is sleeping and my beautiful girlfriend is pregnant."

  
  
"That does sound pretty-" Lexa cut herself off, pulling away from Clarke. "Our daughter?"

 

"Yes," Clarke's eyes bright and full of love. "Our daughter. I think you know that by now."

  
  
"I love her like she's mine."

  
  
"Because she is. She's as much yours as she is mine. She loves you."

 

"Thank you for saying that." Lexa's voice was thick of emotion.

  
  
"Of course. I mean every word."

 

"This is a very big topic, so stop me if you want," Lexa said suddenly, locking eyes with Clarke. "But do you ever think about it?"

  
  
Clarke scrunched her eyebrows together, looking at Lexa.

  
  
"Think about what?" She questioned.

  
  
"Oh, right." Lexa chuckled. She was so nervous, she forgot to mention the actual topic. Clarke could tell she was nervous, and grabbed a hold of her hand.

  
  
"What is it?" Clarke questioned again.

  
  
"Do you ever think about getting married again?" Lexa asked quietly. Clarke's eyes widened in surprise.

 

"I- uh- I haven't- wait-" Clarke stumbled across her words. Lexa chewed on her bottom lip.

  
  
"It's okay if you haven't." Lexa rushed out.

  
  
"It's not that I haven't. I just didn't know you were. I- I-"

  
  
"Clarke," Lexa stressed. "I was just asking and clearly it isn’t a good time."

 

"I'm sorry. You just really caught me off guard," Clarke took a few calming breaths, before getting it together. "If you're asking if I would marry you-"

  
  
"Wait," Lexa said cautiously. "Do I want to hear the rest of this?"

  
  
"Listen to me." Clarke said gently, pulling Lexa closer to her.

 

"Being with Finn was a nightmare and I know it wouldn't be that way with you. I'll be honest, I haven't thought about it," Clarke said, taking a deep breath. "I don't need a piece of paper proving that we’re married. I know we’re a gay couple and have the right to get married now, but I think we should wait. I don't need a court to tell me how much I love you. You know how much I love you."

  
  
Lexa had tears streaming down her face, and Clarke gently wiped them away.

 

"I know you've never been married and the rush and excitement right now, is through the roof. I don't want us to lose that excitement. Not yet," Clarke husked. "I don't want to put that added pressure on us right now. You know I have you and you have me. I don't want us to be forced inside a box that's labeled marriage and I'm not trying to talk to you like you don't know anything or like you don't have the experience to be married. I just don't want to lose you and like the way things are now. Finn ruined it for me, Lexa. I'm scared to go down that road again.”

 

"No, I get it. I understand what you’re saying and I would never rush you into marriage. I know how things turned out with Finn. You're right. I don't want to lose that excitement.”

 

“I don't want to hurt your feelings and you can always talk to me about this. Please don't ever feel like you can't. I don't want to compare you to Finn. I know you're different. I know we are different, but I just need some more time. I’m sorry.” Clarke said honestly.

 

“It's okay, Clarke. Really. I was just asking.” Lexa said, even though a part of her was sad. Of course she wanted to marry Clarke, but knew why Clarke was apprehensive about the whole thing. She could wait, she was worth it. She’d wait forever if it meant being with Clarke. They still had time, a lot of time. Neither one of them were going anywhere.

 

“Did I hurt your feelings?” Clarke asked.

 

“I'm okay. I think about it more and more, but we can wait. I don't want things to change between us if we ever get married.”

 

“We will, Lexa. We’ll get married. I know we will.” Clarke said with a hint of a smile.

 

“I could just give you one of those ring pops and call it a day.” Lexa shrugged with a smirk.

 

“You better put a better ring on my finger than that, but I'll take any ring from you.” Clarke said playing along.

 

“Oh, I know!” Lexa exclaimed. “A ring made out of grass. I gotcha, babe.”

 

“You're a dork!” Clarke teased, pulling Lexa in for a kiss.

 

“You are my forever,” Clarke said once they broke the kiss. “I'll love you forever. You know that. I'm sorry I can't give you more, not yet.”

 

“Your love is enough and you in a bikini top.” Lexa said, eyes dropping down to Clarke's breasts.

 

“Are you sure?” Clarke asked once more.

 

“Positive.” Lexa said with nothing, but sincerity in her eyes.

 

“Oops,” Clarke said, untying her bikini top and throwing it over the edge. Lexa's eyes widened when Clarke reached down, taking her bikini bottoms off too. “Oops.” Her voice was dangerously low, and Lexa's breath grew erratic.

 

“Seems like you just… lost your clothes.” Lexa breathed.

 

“I did,” Clarke shrugged. “Whatever shall we do about it?”

 

Lexa smirked because she had a few ideas, and spent the whole night showing Clarke.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Time Jumps

* * *

 

“Watch out!” Clarke yelled, holding her arms wide before walking through the back door. Lexa was hot on her heels. “Wide load coming through and I'm not talking about the boxes Lincoln is carrying.” Clarke called out to her family, making everyone chuckle.

 

They all decided to have a cookout to bring in summer, and Lexa's pregnancy. Lexa was nine months pregnant, and her water was due to break anytime.

 

Clarke wouldn’t even let Lexa use the bathroom by herself. Not since knowing that they were going to have a baby boy. She was terrified and just wanted them both to have good delivery. Clarke smiled to herself because she had spent many nights wishing it was a boy. She would be completely fine with a girl too, but had wanted to have that experience raising a boy.

 

Lexa chuckled at her girlfriend’s antics, but she was right. She was huge, and was ready to give birth already.

 

“You look like you're going to pop any minute.” Anya said, sitting down on a blanket with Raven.

 

“I'm a few days past my due date so I should be, I hope.” Lexa answered.

 

Clarke was right when she said that there were going to be a lot of midnight cravings. Lexa had never taken a liking to pickles until her pregnancy. She would eat them late at night with a huge glass of water along with other weird cravings.

 

Lexa's sex drive was also through the roof. There had been a lot of times Lexa would show up at Clarke's work, and they would disappear for a few hours. Clarke never once complained, because she had a hard time keeping her hands to herself as well. Lexa was absolutely stunning pregnant and Clarke enjoyed every moment of it.

 

But she was ready to meet her baby boy.

 

They all gathered around to eat and spend some quality time together. Sam was just like Clarke and would keep a close eye on Lexa. Clarke thought it was adorable how protective she was being and knew she would be a great big sister. They hadn’t gotten any more baby questions from Sam, which they were both relieved about.

 

Lexa was sitting in a chair beside Clarke while everyone else was spread out. Sam was sitting on Abby’s lap while she ate some strawberries.

 

“Baby, I need to use the bathroom.” Lexa mumbled. Clarke quickly hopped up from her seat.

 

Lexa was wearing a gorgeous dark blue flowy dress. Clarke extended her hand, which Lexa took gratefully.

 

"I'll be right back." Lexa repeated, a firm look in her eyes.

  
  
"Fine." Clarke muttered, letting go of her hand.

 

Clarke tried not to worry watching Lexa walk away from her. She knew she was only going to the bathroom, but didn't want anything to happen.

 

“She'll be fine.” Jake reassured her. Clarke breathed out a laugh, sitting back down.

 

She didn't say anything, but gave him a nod.

 

“Who wants to play football?” Jasper yelled, getting up from his seat. Sam squealed immediately running over to him.

 

“You have to take it easy on me.” Jake said, getting up from his spot.

 

“Sure. Let's go, old man.” Jasper joked.

 

“You better watch it!” Jake said, running after him.

 

Clarke sat the game out. Everyone was playing, even Abby. She sat back with a wide smile on her face.

 

Her smile was quickly wiped off her face when she got a message from Lexa, and it was blank.

 

Clarke's eyes widened immediately before rushing inside.

 

Clarke was so caught up in making sure Lexa was okay, that she didn't noticed the puddle of water she stepped in. Lexa was doubled over in pain, and Clarke rushed over to her.

 

“I knew I should've came with you!” Clarke cried. “What happened?”

 

“What do you mean what happened?” Lexa shrieked. “My water just broke!” Lexa cried.

 

“Okay, okay. Let's not freak out. We have everything ready. We’re ready, but where's the hospital bag? I forgot where I put it!” Clarke said in horror.

 

“Closet by the front door.” Lexa wheezed. “Are we going to stand here forever?”

 

“No!” Clarke shouted. “Let's go have a baby.”

 

It was absolute chaos when Clarke busted out the back door exclaiming that Lexa's water broke. Clarke had never seen anyone move so fast. They all gathered their stuff up before running into the house.

 

“Do you have the hospital bag?” Abby asked. “How far apart are your contractions?”

 

“I'd say every two minutes. It hurts like a-” Lexa cut herself knowing Sam was listening. “It hurts.” Lexa whined pathetically.

 

“Let’s get going!” Abby said which made everyone follow.

 

Clarke grabbed the hospital bag before they all piled out the door. Lexa whimpered the whole car ride to the hospital with Clarke whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Clarke was glad Lexa was listening to her soothing voice inside of focusing on her pain. That didn't stop the death grip she had on Clarke's hand though.

 

Clarke sighed in relief when they pulled into the hospital parking lot. A nurse came up to them when they all piled into the lobby.

 

“Dr. Griffin, I thought it was your day off.” Dr. Vie said.

 

“Is Dr. Freeman here? Lexa's going into labor.”

 

Dr. Vie’s eyes widen before getting a wheelchair.

 

“He's in a surgery, but it shouldn't be much longer,” Dr. Vie answered. “Here. Sit.” The nurse said softly yanking on Lexa's arm.

 

“Hey, be careful with my baby mama.” Clarke scolded the nurse.

 

“Clarke.” Lexa chuckled out.

 

“I just had to say it one more time!” Clarke defended herself making Lexa roll her eyes.

 

“Let's go upstairs and get you situated.” The nurse said politely. Everyone made a move to walk with them, when the nurse stopped.

 

“You all can't come with us!” The nurse said.

 

“But I can because she's my girlfriend.”

 

“And I'm her mother!”

 

“And I'm her sister!”

 

The nurse looked at the three women before sighing.

 

“Okay, you guys can come up and Dr. Freeman will be with you shortly.”

 

Lexa was a mess of groans and whimpers on the way up to the room. The rest of the gang stayed back while the three women walked beside Lexa's wheelchair. Lexa had a death grip on Clarke's hand still, and Clarke rubbed her thumb across her hand soothingly.

 

Clarke almost wanted to throw up when their doctor came in. She knew it was go time, and put on a brave face for Lexa.

 

Clarke never left Lexa's side as Dr. Freeman guided Lexa to push. Lexa shook her head multiple times throughout the whole labor. It was little over an hour and Clarke knew Lexa was exhausted. Clarke nodded encouragingly at Lexa each time they make eye contact.

 

Indra and Anya were in the corner, out of the way, but Lexa knew they were there. She was grateful for her support system, and worked on bringing their baby boy into the world.

 

Clarke cried when she heard the first cry of their son. Lexa's movements faltered slightly before pushing again.

 

“That's it, Lexa!” Dr. Freeman encouraged. “Give me one more big push and you'll meet your son!”

 

Lexa groaned in response that turned into a high pitched scream as she pushed again.

 

Lexa finally relaxed when she felt her baby being pulled out of her. She cried out locking eyes with Clarke.

 

The nurses worked to clean him off before looking to Clarke.

 

“Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?”

 

Clarke looked down at Lexa as if asking for permission. Lexa nodded slightly before Clarke smiled.

 

“Yes.”

 

Clarke took the scissors with shaky hands before pulling it together. Their baby was screaming as Clarke cut the cord. Indra and Anya were cooing in the background.

 

“Would you like to hold your son?” The nurse asked to Lexa. Lexa nodded eagerly. She had tears rolling down her face as her baby boy was finally in her arms.

 

“He's adorable!” Lexa gushed, holding his little fingers in her hand. “Babe, look at him!”

 

Clarke chuckled kissing Lexa on the forehead.

 

“He's wonderful.” Clarke whispered happily.

 

They took a few more minutes to themselves, completely in awe over their him.

 

It wasn't long before everyone started trickling in, taking turns greeting the newest addition to the Griffin-Woods family.

 

“He's perfect!” Abby gushed with Jake behind her making funny faces at the baby.

 

“Have you guys thought of a name yet?” Jake asked.

 

Clarke locked eyes with Lexa before they shrugged sheepishly.

 

“I think we did everything else, but think of a name for him.” Lexa answered shyly.

 

“Well, you still have some time.”

 

“And on that note, my girlfriend needs rest, so everyone out!” Clarke demanded. “Besides Sam.” She quickly added.

 

Everyone respectfully filed out the room. Sam squealed happily knowing that she could stay. She rubbed her baby brother’s head after washing her hands.

 

“He's cute.” Sam commented. Clarke leaned down to kiss her cheek.

 

“I know.” Clarke cooed in her ear.

 

Lexa laid back in the bed, watching her family with a fond smile. It wasn't long before Lexa dozed off.

* * *

 

Clarke looked down at their son in her girlfriend’s arms. She had just waken up from her nap. Their baby boy had been sleeping the whole time too. He had brown hair and high cheek bones. He was breathtakingly beautiful, and was murmuring around the bottle. They had both decided that it would be best for him to be on formula instead of breast feeds.

 

“Spencer.” Clarke whispered. Lexa flicked her eyes to Clarke, locking eyes.

 

“You like Spencer?” Lexa asked.

 

“Do you?” Clarke asked warily.

 

“It's a cute name.”

 

“For a cute boy.” Clarke added.

 

“I like it.”

 

“If you don't want a spur of the moment name, speak now.” Clarke chuckled nervously.

 

“Spencer Griffin Woods.” Lexa said with a smile. “I love it, Clarke. I love you.”

 

Lexa puckered her lips and Clarke gladly leaned down to kiss her.

 

“I love you too,” Clarke sighed happily. “And you too Spencer.” Clarke cooed.

 

Clarke was over the moon excited that their baby boy was finally here.

* * *

 

Lexa groaned, hearing the high pitched screams of Spencer. Lexa frowned deeply before tapping Clarke on the shoulder.

  
  
"Oh, no," Clarke immediately mumbled. "I already got him once. It's your turn."

 

Spencer was wrapped up in his blue blanket in his bassinet right by their bed.

 

Lexa couldn't believe he was already three months old. He was the spitting image of Lexa, with his high cheek bones, and green eyes.

 

Lexa loved her son deeply, but they never seemed to be on the same page during the night.

 

“How do people do this?” Lexa asked rhetorically before getting up. Her eyes were barely open as she quickly went into the bathroom to make him a bottle.

 

There was formula all over the house. Spencer really was her son, because he ate every two hours and sometimes less than that.

 

Lexa was exhausted, but rushed to make her baby boy a bottle. She shook up the lukewarm bottle before heading back to bed. Clarke was face first into the pillows when Lexa got situated in bed.

 

Spencer’s cries immediately stopped when Lexa guided the bottle to his mouth. He latched on eagerly before sucking it down.

 

Lexa leaned her head against the headboard, and almost jumped out of her skin when she felt Clarke's hand on her arm.

 

“It gets better.” Clarke mumbled.

 

“I miss sleep.” Lexa pouted, yawning loudly.

 

Clarke turned herself around, rubbing Spencer’s head while he ate happily.

 

“Soon, he’ll start sleeping through the night. Maybe wake up once or twice.” Lexa groaned at Clarke's answer.

 

“I love him, Clarke. I really do, but why does he cry so much?” Lexa asked exasperatedly.

 

“Because that's what babies do.” Clarke giggled. Lexa shot Clarke a glare.

 

“I can take him.” Clarke offered around a yawn.

 

“No, it's okay,” Lexa assured her softly. “Get some rest. One of us is going to need it.”

 

Clarke nodded before turning over again. Lexa usually hated when Clarke snored, but was so envious of them right now.

* * *

 

Clarke was right. Spencer started sleeping more at night, but would wake up occasionally for a bottle. Lexa was glad because she was finally getting more sleep than before.

 

Spencer was now nine months old, and crawling around everywhere. He got into everything and Lexa was so glad they baby proofed the house.

 

Lexa's relationship with Clarke was better than ever. The marriage topic came up a couple of times, but they stayed clear of it for the most part for now. Lexa was happy just to be with Clarke, and loved their family.

 

Lexa walked down the street with a stroller and diaper bag during the day, and would work at the bar all night. She'd come home just in time for Spencer’s morning bottle, before passing out.

 

Abby was a tremendous help to them. She always seemed to be around now which Lexa was grateful for. She didn't know what she would do without her.

 

Clarke's business was thriving and becoming the place to go in the city. Lexa couldn't have been more proud. She would hang out with Clarke during the day whenever she could, bringing Spencer along with them before heading out to go get Sam from school.

 

Lexa wasn't ready when Spencer first came home, but she got used to it. She had to adjust quickly because she knew she wasn't going to win this. Her son was stubborn, and Lexa swore he got it from Clarke.

 

Lexa thought she was becoming too soft. When her family gathered around the dinner table that night, including Jake and Abby, she was almost in tears. Her kids were alive and healthy. Her girlfriend was doing amazing, and her parents were doing well.

 

Lexa was absolutely loving her life. She couldn't help but want it to stay like this forever.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you guys know this but every fiber in my being didn't want to finish this story. At all. The only reason I finished it was because of my beta. She didn't force me to, but she definitely motivated me.
> 
> I've learned a lot through this story so thank you for that. I tried to end it as best I can. I did a lot of time jumps because I'm trying to get it done.
> 
> This was one of my first stories and I had a lot of fun on this journey and this story is very near to my heart, but I'm glad it's over.
> 
> Thank you to all of you who have stuck by this story and supported it, it was greatly appreciated. 
> 
> I'm not planning on a sequel or anything like that. This is technically the epilogue.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

 

* * *

 

Lexa didn't think Clarke had best idea when she suggested they go for a walk in the middle of November. She was freezing, and wrapped her arms tight around herself. She cuddled into Clarke's side, and grabbed a hold of her hand.

 

Spencer and Sam were at home with Abby while they went for a stroll. Clarke wanted to go for a walk, and Lexa didn't have it in her heart to object.

 

Lexa could see their breath in front of them as she cuddled into Clarke further.

 

“Babe,” Lexa shuddered out. “Not your best idea.”

 

Clarke looked back at her with bright blue eyes. The blonde was giddy because it was nearing the holidays again. Lexa was happy that Clarke was happy about this time of year, given what happened two years ago.

 

“You act like we’re at the North Pole. It's just a little nippy. Plus, I want to talk to you about something.” Clarke said, snaking her arm around Lexa's waist.

 

“What?” Lexa asked curiously. The moon was providing the perfect light as they walked down the street.

 

“It's been two years since Spencer was born-”

 

“Do you want to have another kid?” Lexa asked with wide eyes.

 

“No, no,” Clarke rushed out, chuckling. “At least not right now.”

 

“Oh, okay,” Lexa said relieved. “Then what's up?”

 

“We’ve been doing so good the last two years. Our communication has been amazing, our sex life, and everything else. Given that we have two kids, that’s quite a feat for a couple. Lexa, I've always known you were going to be my forever.” Clarke said.

 

Lexa stayed quiet, letting Clarke ramble. She had no idea where Clarke was going with this.

 

“We’re both financially stable. Our past is behind us. You gave me the most adorable son.”

 

“Clarke,” Lexa interrupted. “What are you going on about?”

 

“I think I'm ready.” Clarke whispered, locking eyes with Lexa.

 

Lexa stopped walking. She turned to face Clarke with a questioning look.

 

“Ready?” Lexa asked. “Ready for what?”

 

“I'm giving you the go ahead. My mind, body and soul are ready.”

 

“Ready for what? Sex?” Lexa narrowed her eyes at her.

 

“No, Lexa,” Clarke huffed. “Marriage, baby. I'm ready for marriage.” Clarke clarified making Lexa's eyes go wide.

 

“Really? Seriously? Are you sure?” Lexa fired off her questions making Clarke laugh.

 

“Yes, baby,” Clarke sighed grabbing a hold of Lexa's hands and kissing them. “I want to marry you,” Clarke kissed up Lexa's hand. “I want your last name. It's all I want and I'm giving you the go ahead.”

 

“Well,” Lexa drawled out. “That's not pressuring at all.”

 

“Whenever you're ready. Who knows, I could get down on one knee and surprise you.”

 

“No. Nope. I'm going to do it before you.”

 

Clarke guided them down the street again. They walked around the neighborhood before heading home.

 

“Can your mom take the kids tonight?” Lexa asked.

 

“Why?”

 

Lexa gave her a dirty look before Clarke caught on.

 

“I think that could be arranged.” Clarke husked. Lexa smiled brightly.

 

“Great. I'm glad. I don't want to scare our kids with the amount of sex we’re going to have tonight.”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Clarke asked smoothly.

 

Lexa pulled Clarke into her, kissing her temple.

 

“Yeah.” Lexa whispered against her skin. She was more than happy that Clarke gave her the go ahead to propose. Her heart leaped in her chest just thinking about marrying Clarke.

* * *

 

Lexa reached down, wiping her hands on her pants once again. She was nervous, trying to muster up the words. Jake was staring her down from across the table.

  
  
Lexa had asked Jake to lunch, and decided to have it somewhere public. She had no idea how this conversation was going to pan out.

 

“So, I had some things I wanted to ask you.” Lexa said.

 

Jake took a sip of his water, his gaze intense as he locked eyes with Lexa.

 

“Oh, yeah?” Jake said. “And what will that be?”

 

Lexa took another deep breath, too nervous to eat.

 

“I would like to ask you for your daughter’s hand in marriage.” Lexa said boldly.

 

Jake’s eyes widened, choking on his water.

 

“What the hell?” He grumbled.

 

Lexa squinted at him, “I'm sure you knew that’s the reason I asked you for lunch.”

 

“I didn't think you were going to ask me that. I already went through this once and it was a nightmare,” Jake grunted. “Are you being serious?”

 

“No, Jake. Ashton Kutcher is going to come out saying you got punk’d.” Lexa rolled her eyes.

 

“I thought you just wanted to have lunch to catch up.” Jake said dumbly.

 

“Okay, let’s start over.” Lexa said. Jake nodded appreciatively.

 

“I knew from the moment I met your daughter that I could love her. We've been through a lot and I'm so in love with her. She makes this world so much easier to live in and I want to spend the rest of my days with her. I would like to marry your daughter, Jake.” Lexa said.

 

Jake gaped at her. He started nodding slowly, and Lexa stayed quiet.

 

“Do you have a ring?” Jake asked.

 

“It's kind of a joke. I got her a ring pop, but an actual ring too. Here it is.” Lexa reached around, grabbing the ring out of her purse. She opened the box, and Jake gasped.

 

“It's a six carat ring. It cost me an arm and a leg, but I wanted to one up that jerk. That will stay between you and I. It was beautiful just like your daughter so I had to get it for her. She has no idea I have this.”

 

“You better be serious about this. I don't want my daughter to go through what went through again. My daughter lights up when you're around. Always has. I'm dumb to not have seen it before. My daughter loves you and you take great care of Sam, so of course you have my blessing. Maybe next time give me a warning because you almost gave me an heart attack out in public.” Jake joked.

 

“Of course. Thank you. I promise I'll keep her safe and happy.”

 

“I know you will, Lexa. You have my blessing.” Jake repeated.

 

They didn't normally hug each other, but after the meal, they did.

 

“Good luck.” Jake said his gaze serious.

 

“Thank you.” Lexa said, walking out the restaurant with him.

 

“I hope she doesn't reject you,” Jake said. “That would be awful, but I'm sure I could make that ring fit on my finger.”

 

Lexa rolled her eyes at him, but was used to his behavior.

 

“There's no way in hell,” Lexa said sweetly. “But I hope she says yes too.” She said walking to their cars.

 

“Bye, Lexa.” Jake said over his shoulder.

 

“See ya, Jake.”

* * *

 

Lexa had no idea how to go about proposing. She didn't talk about it to Clarke much. She wanted her to think that she wasn't ready yet.

 

Lexa was more than ready. She had both rings hidden away.

 

She wanted to take Clarke out for a fancy dinner, but no one could watch Spencer.

 

Lexa thought proposing was going to be easy. With Clarke and Jake's permission Lexa was sure she would blow it out of the water.

 

It wasn't easy.

 

Having two kids took a toll on both of them, often leaving them exhausted at night. Spencer hardly slept in his room, instead taking up their bed.

 

Lexa loved it and loved that their son was still young enough to sleep with them, but she couldn't find the right time to say anything without him lingering over them.

 

Lexa sighed heavily, taking a shower before hopping in bed. She had both rings in her night stand.

 

Clarke was watching TV with Spencer drinking milk in her lap. Sam was knocked out in her room.

 

It was late, and Lexa didn't miss the multiple yawns Clarke let out. Spencer was insufferable at night. He didn't want to be put down until he was actually sleeping. Lexa could only blame herself, she’d spoiled him rotten.

 

“I can take him.” Lexa offered, getting in bed.

 

“I just need to use the bathroom.” Clarke said.

 

“Give him here.” Lexa gestured. She took her baby boy with a kiss to his cheek. He squealed, immediately reaching for his mother.

 

Lexa watched Clarke go to the bathroom with a long sigh, wondering when the right time was.

* * *

 

There wasn't a right time.

 

Lexa was quickly figuring this out. The past few weeks had been crazy and Lexa was giving up hope of ever getting Clarke alone.

 

When they would get some time alone, it was never enough time or something came up and interrupted them.

 

Lexa was wondering if she should just do it at home. Skip the big grand gesture for now, and just get to the point. Lexa couldn't go another day without asking Clarke. She couldn't hold it in anymore. She knew Clarke had no clue because they both had been so busy.

 

They were laying in bed with Spencer and Sam finally asleep in their rooms. Clarke was watching TV beside her in her pajamas. Her face was makeup free and she looked so beautiful.

 

Lexa chewed her bottom lip wondering if she should do it. They weren't dressed for it, but when had they ever done things according to plan?

 

Lexa smirked at that. She was going to do it. Lexa had moved around, catching Clarke's attention. Lexa's heart skipped a beat locking eyes with Clarke. The blonde had a questioning look on her face, but Lexa stayed silent.

 

Lexa reached inside her nightstand pulling out the ring pop and the actual ring. Clarke looked at her expectantly, and her eyes widen when she saw the ring.

 

“Oh, baby.” Clarke sighed out.

 

“I can't find a right time. I feel like I should just do this now and then we can book a place to celebrate. Preferably a hotel room with no kids.” Lexa rambled walking to Clarke's side of the bed.

 

Clarke gasped when Lexa got down on one knee, showing Clarke the expensive ring she’d gotten.

 

“Baby!” Clarke exclaimed. “I'm in my sweats.”

 

“I don't care!” Lexa reasoned. “All the more reason to do this right now. I don't need you all dressed up and fancy. I need you just like this. At your purest state with no makeup on. I'll always love you, no matter what you look like. Whether it's short hair, long hair, blue hair, red hair. No matter if you're big or small. No matter if you're really old and wrinkly.”

 

“Wow, that's so romantic.” Clarke rolled her eyes playfully.

 

“I want to grow old with you,” Lexa breathed. “I want to experience the rest of my life with you. I just want you, Clarke. I always want you. You have my heart, and I want you to keep it forever. Will you marry me?”

 

Lexa was surprised her voice didn't waver and that she didn't mess up her speech. She stayed strong through the whole thing and spoke in a bold voice. She was speaking right from her heart, so it wasn't hard to do.

 

Clarke had tears streaming out her eyes. She tried wiping them away, but more just fell out.

 

Clarke nodded before speaking.

 

“Yes!” Clarke cried. “Of course I'll marry you!”

 

“Do you like the ring?” Lexa asked warily.

 

“Of course. I love it! I love you!” Clarke sobbed.

 

Lexa leaped up placing a sloppy kiss to Clarke's lips. She slid the ring of Clarke's finger, sighing happily.

 

“I love you.” Lexa whispered emotionally.

 

“I love you too.”

 

“I'm going to book a romantic getaway. I'm sorry if I ruined it. I'm sorry if-”

 

“Lexa!” Clarke cut Lexa off with a kiss. “It's okay. I understand. These last few weeks have been hectic. I understand you wanting to do it now because we don't know when we’ll get away.”

 

Lexa didn't say anything, she just nodded. She pulled Clarke in for a kiss before climbing on top of her.

 

Clarke moaned instantly when Lexa's tongue found hers. The blonde could never get tired of kissing Lexa. It was her favorite pastime.

 

Lexa ran her hands up and down Clarke's sides before dipping her hand underneath her sweatpants. Lexa was getting ready to slide her fingers into delicious wet heat before they heard Spencer cry out.

 

Lexa glared at the baby monitor, ripping her hand from Clarke's pants. Clarke whimpered while Lexa sighed heavily.

 

“I'll get him.” Clarke panted before Lexa removed herself from Clarke.

 

Lexa groaned loudly watching Clarke walk away. She knew she would be in Spencer’s room for a while trying to get him to go back to sleep.

 

Lexa sighed looking up at the ceiling, wondering when she would have some alone time with her girlfriend.

* * *

 

It didn't happen until a month later. A _month_.

 

Clarke and Lexa both shared a look with each other when Lexa finally whisked them off for a couple days. They knew it was the right thing for Lexa to propose a month ago, instead of some big grand gesture.

 

If Clarke was being honest, she didn't need to be wined and dined by Lexa. Her company alone was more than enough.

 

Lexa had taken her to a five star hotel an hour away. Their suite was beautiful and a had a breathtaking view of the ocean.

 

They opted for putting on their dress robes and ordering room service. They would have their fancy five star meal tomorrow night.

 

“Why don't we hurry up and eat so I can fuck you.” Lexa whispered in Clarke's ear.

 

“Gosh,” Clarke sighed out dreamily. “You’re so romantic.”

 

“Why don't we hurry up so I can make sweet, _sweet_ love to you.” Lexa corrected herself earning a nod of approval from Clarke.

 

“Much better. I'm finished. How about you?” Clarke asked quickly. Lexa gulped down her water before throwing open her dress robe.

 

“All done!” Lexa said eagerly.

 

Clarke brought her in for a passionate kiss. Lexa clawed at Clarke's dress robe pulling it off of her before pushing her down on the bed.

 

Lexa nipped at any inch of skin she could. She explored Clarke's body, sucking kisses to the places that pulled deep gasps from the blonde.

 

Lexa didn't want to waste any more time. She kissed down Clarke's naked body. These past few weeks seriously taking a toll on her.

 

She almost cried when she settled in between Clarke's legs, smelling her tangy, sweet smell. Lexa's mouth watered before pulling Clarke in.

 

Lexa placed a hand under Clarke's butt, squeezing it softly before guiding Clarke to her mouth. Lexa moaned before she even tasted her. Clarke whimpered beneath her when Lexa ran her tongue straight through her, flicking her clit in the process.

 

Clarke's hips jerked as Lexa spread Clarke wider. Lexa got comfortable in between Clarke's legs. She was about to eat her favorite meal.

 

Clarke was a shaky messing while Lexa licked her to the edge. Clarke had never wanted to fall so bad in her life. Her chest heaved, and her mouth dropped open letting out the deepest moans.

 

Lexa didn't stop when Clarke cried out her name. She licked and sucked until Clarke tore Lexa's head away, and even then, Lexa didn't stop.

 

Clarke scooted across the bed, trying to catch her breath.

 

Lexa followed her.

 

She wrapped her arms around Clarke's thighs, pinning her down to the bed. Clarke cried out, begging Lexa to give her a minute, but Lexa didn't listen.

 

Clarke gasped loudly when Lexa's tongue run through her again. The blonde had a death grip on Lexa's head, locking her into place.

 

_“Lexa.”_

 

Lexa got great pleasure from hearing her name fall out of her fiancé mouth. Lexa rubbed fast circles around Clarke's clit, before slipping two fingers in.

 

Clarke whimpered, pulling Lexa's hair tighter.

 

“I'm gonna cum again!” Clarke breathed harshly. Lexa moaned into her, before circling her clit with her tongue. Lexa sucked it into her mouth enjoying the way it throbbed. Lexa was incredibly turned on, and started rocking her hips into the bed.

 

It didn't take long for Lexa to feel Clarke clench down in her fingers. Lexa groaned when her fingers got drenched in Clarke's cum. She cleaned Clarke up softly before pulling away.

 

Lexa wiped the back of her mouth before pulling Clarke in for a promising kiss.

 

Clarke wrapped a hand around Lexa's waist tugging on it.

 

Lexa smirked getting the hint before slowly making her way up Clarke's body.

 

It was only a matter of minutes for Lexa to come undone on top of Clarke. She moaned and gasped with every swipe of Clarke's tongue against her.

 

When she came down from her high, she got off Clarke and settled beside her.

 

“We can go again,” Lexa whispered. “Just give me a minute.”

 

“Okay.” Clarke agreed happily. She brushed away Lexa's curls before placing a kiss to her lips. Clarke scooted closer wrapping an arm around Lexa's waist.

 

“I can't wait to say I do,” Clarke murmured. “I can't wait to be married to you. I'm sorry it took so long.”

 

“You were getting over a lot of things. I was happy to wait.” Lexa said gently.

 

“It's going to be wonderful.” Clarke sighed out.

 

“I know. I can't wait either,” Lexa agreed with a smile. “Okay, I'm ready to go again. Turn that ass around.”

 

Clarke gave her a dirty look before springing up from the bed and turning around. Clarke smirked at Lexa before settling on all fours. Lexa didn't waste any time sinking her fingers into Clarke, who let out a low whine.

 

They both were in for a wild night.

* * *

 

Their wedding was more than wonderful. It was out of this world. They even got a chocolate fountain (that was Lexa's idea).

 

Sam was the flower girl and Spencer was the ring bearer. Both their parents had cried more than they did.

 

They had both cried during the ceremony. Clarke couldn't deny it. She was a bawling mess when she saw Gustus walk Lexa down the aisle.

 

Lexa was gorgeous in a suit with her makeup on point. She was the epitome of beautiful.

 

Clarke couldn't keep it together reading her vows. Lexa proved to be the more stable one. She got through her vows with a strong voice (she had broken down that night, claiming that she couldn't believe they’d actually gotten married).

 

Clarke held her for the whole night before making love to her over and over again.

 

They went on their honeymoon to the Bahamas. They couldn't keep their hands off each other the whole trip.

 

Clarke felt a newfound energy knowing that Lexa was her wife. She was married and knew she never wanted to let Lexa go.

 

She would be herself. She would learn to love Lexa even more over the years. She would be her wife, and most importantly, the mother to her children. She would fall more in love with Lexa with each passing day, and she never compared it to her previous marriage. There was no comparison.

 

Clarke would learn what it was like to truly be happy.

* * *

 

Clarke could talk about her previous marriage and how much it messed her up. She could talk about how she cheated almost the entire time; Clarke was aware of the mistakes she’d made and had moved on.

 

Clarke didn't think about it anymore. How could she?

 

It was a dark time for her. She could never take back her cheating, but she would admit, it shouldn't have gone on for that long.

 

She knew the reason why she didn't want to end her affair. It was because she was in love with Alexandria Woods.

 

And couldn't be more thankful to be a Woods. She was finally Clarke Elizabeth Griffin-Woods. It was the greatest accomplishment of her life.

 

Lexa was through and through her best friend, and her heart and soul.

 

So, she never once allowed herself to look back on those dark chapters of her life. She moved forward. She was living her life to the fullest and she didn't think she’d ever be this happy. That was before she met Lexa, now she knew what true love and happiness was.

 

She’d done a lot of growing in the past fifteen years. She had grown old. She had grown wiser. She had a teenager and another going off to college.

 

It pained her that her baby girl was leaving her. (Sam would beg her moms not to call her that in front of her friends).

 

Sam had gotten accepted in a school not too far from where they lived. She would be living on campus though. Clarke was beyond proud that her daughter was going to school to become whatever she was destined to be. Sam hadn't figured out what she wanted to do yet, but her moms would support whatever her choice would be.

 

Spencer was in high school, and captain of the debate team. He had it in his blood with his fiery attitude, and leadership skills. Something he definitely got from Lexa.

 

He also played soccer and field hockey. He was a busy teenager and was hardly ever home. He would make it home for the family dinners, everyone would.   


A lot had stayed the same over the past decade and a lot had changed. Lexa had handed her bar over to Lincoln, something that pained her to do, but was happy to give it to someone so trusting and loyal.

  
  
She turned in her bar uniform for a pantsuit and briefcase. Lexa was still starting out. She had gone back to college to become a lawyer.

 

Clarke supported her through the whole thing. It turned her on immensely seeing Lexa take charge in the courtroom.

  
  
Clarke often drew her life. From Sam getting into college to Lexa in the courtroom to Spencer winning soccer games. Clarke couldn't help it. Her family was beautiful and she tried to capture every detail of it.

  
  
Clarke would look around her art gallery at her work and she would smile.

  
  
Because she made it.

  
  
They both did. Through the years, they’d only gotten stronger.

  
  
They didn't need to worry about the past, with such a promising future.

  
  
Clarke would spend countless nights cuddled up with Lexa drinking a glass of wine, and sometimes even finishing the whole bottle together.

  
  
They had agreed two kids was more than enough. Clarke laughed at how easily Lexa agreed to that. Clarke knew she loved their two kids unconditionally, but also knew Lexa didn't want anymore.

  
  
Clarke was completely fine with it.

  
  
Clarke would lay her head on Lexa's shoulder, whispering out how much she loved her, only to moan it out moments later.

  
  
Clarke would listen to their son come home late and make his way to his bedroom. He was hardly quiet.

  
Clarke would look over at her wife, and she would smiled.

  
  
She had made it. They had made it.

 

Together.  


**The End**


End file.
